HI HI IM THE ANON WHO JUST RECENTLY ASK OMG IM SORRY I FORGOT TO TYPE THE CHARACTER NAME HSHSHS but yeah can i req a prompt 68 by mod runa with tsukasa ? With an s/o who cant feel emotion pls i love all of the woks here ʕ￫ᴥ￩ ʔ♡
Joker Faced
wordy county: 644 words
tw: none
Runa's mini note: HI ANON ILYSM MWAH MWAH !!! /p thank you so much as well dearie anon <3 we appreciate you and everyone else here very much for supporting us~
Empty yet so murky with the most distorted colors you could think of, that was the best way to describe the endless void within you. Things that others felt were almost like a luxury to you, an empty shell. However, you knew one way to imitate that luxury, slide on that joker face, become someone who you’re not.
A chime of the bell rang throughout the school building, just like any ordinary day. A wave of goodbyes swarmed every student, walking off to their obligatory clubs. You’re cheery face heading to the place you find peace of mind, the archery club’s shooting range. You could say that you were technically a part of the club but never participated in the activity—a superficial observer, nothing else.
No one seemed to care that you watched them practice, but it seemed to motivate everyone to do their best secretly. As you gently stroked the cat’s head, the door slid open as if it wasn’t there to begin with, “Ah, Y/n, I was looking for you!” You turned your head up to see Tsukasa out of breath, his face flushed, “Tsukasa? What’s wrong?” Your voice gently rang, but that was simply an imitation. After all, you were basically a doll.
“I… I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while about something, do you mind?” His violet eyes slowly fell to the ground, clearly nervous, but what for? “Of course; what is it?” You tilted your head questioningly, the void in your heart growing bigger by the second. Perhaps he’s found out that you’ve been a joker all along?
Stutters and stammers emitted from the boy’s voice, but he worked up enough courage to speak, “I know it's random, but… I’ve liked you for the longest time!” That love-stricken face was all you could see, but why? Why couldn’t you let him down gracefully like gentle rain? That face of impersonation shattered immediately.
“Ah, is that so?” Your voice was hollow and cold, clearly signing that you could care less. The red knight flinched; what happened to the docile upperclassmen he knew so well? More so, he thought he knew so well. “Y-Y/n?” His voice was trembling, obviously not understanding the situation. What went wrong?
“This… This isn’t like you… What’s wro—” Tsukasa was cut off, unable to finish what he wanted to say. “This isn’t like me? What do you know about me?” Your words became sharp like a sword’s blade, piercing through the boy’s heart. “You- You’re someone who’s always looking after me, a gentle and caring upperclassman, right..?” Shaky words began to spill out of the boy’s heart, his world shattering bit by bit.
“That? Sorry, but I’m simply a joker. Someone who imitates those things called ‘feelings,’ something I don’t have,” you emptily snapped back, your touch becoming cold to the cat that was once resting on your lap. “I pretended to be someone I’m not; it’s that simple,” your icy voice scaring off the aloof creature from you. Slowly, you rose from your seat, approaching the knightly prince, “You know nothing.”
Tsukasa felt weak, both physically and emotionally. Did he really know nothing? He did. Fooled by a fool, he felt cold, something he hadn’t experienced yet in his life. Is this what it’s like to be rejected? A shattered heart for a shattered world. He couldn’t move at all, not even to turn his head back to see your silhouette. A love so false, so one-sided, and so foolish. You left the now broken boy to decay in the silent room as you continued to be eaten alive by that greedy void within you. Joker faced to the end; you felt your whole body swallowed by that void, no more turning back. This was a fate you could care less for; after all, you are just a hollow doll.
DJ and Runa, is mod Runs from the WlW ghostwriters blog cute?
[slowly drags their eyes down Mod Runa’s body and back up] “If they were in competition with the sun, I’d still say they were hotter. I wouldn’t mind their body being wrapped around me for a ride… on my motorcycle… for now.” [winks and smiles devilishly]
[quirks an eyebrow] “I’d go out of my way to get their sigil info.” [smirks] “They are one of the nicest looking humans I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
CALL FOR GUEST ARTIST NOMINATIONS! heyo, everyone! we are accepting nominations for 3 guest artists to participate in this zine! here’s the link: https://form.jotform.com/91813902167155 the nominations will close THE 20TH OF AUGUST! thank you!
♣︎ｋℹ︎ｒａｒℹ︎＇ｓ ａｑａｒℹ︎ｕｍ♦︎ hey! if you like this, you’ll like the kakegurui zine i’m starting, called always bet on black! the interest check is open now on the zine’s official blog (@alwaysbetonblackzine)!
NOTE: this has multiple flashbacks without heavy warning so it'll look uh, it'll be fun to find out what is what I guess..?
wordy county: 2.39k words
tw: mention(s) of death and suicide
Runa’s mini note: I was inspired by haniwa's Dear LAYLA so uh,,, this is heavily inspired off of it
When was the last time that he felt his heart was warm? Ah, that’s right, years ago… He’s already forgotten how to shed tears; any sort of gold was thrown away, but he couldn’t throw away the memories that he’s already forgotten. The villa where the two of you spent your summer together was now collecting dust. The memories of him asking you to meet next summer are just like how he asked last summer, but for now, let’s dance so that you won’t be lonely.
The world only revolved around you two, petals of Forget-Me-Nots and Gardenias blurring his vision. The moment he regained clear vision, he saw what was something he’d long forgotten. Vast greenfields, the patches of Shasta Daisies, and the bright smile of yours that could chase away any worries the boy had. His eyes grew watery as he saw you, hand outstretched towards him. He couldn’t help but take your hand, quickly being led throughout the field full of pure white daisies. It was so nostalgic, but why?
The sounds of the world slowly growing muffled, your soft giggles and laughter drowning out as if he’s underwater. Running and running, your back still faced the azure-eyed boy. That was until you stopped to turn around with your voice silent, but somehow it shows that you’re speaking. Unknown words were exchanged to the boy as he didn’t know what you were even saying. Soon enough, you showed him that same reassuring smile before the same blue, and white petals covered Izumi’s vision.
Izumi regained his vision once again, but this time was alone, nowhere near the scenery that he was just at. Instead, the boy found himself lying in bed, the room dark. He looked around to see his nightstand with a picture facing down; curious, he lifted the picture up to have a wave of nostalgia hit him. It was a picture of you and him at the same Shasta Daisy field, smiles of pure and innocent happiness. This made the boy wonder, are you still happy and smiling? Even if you were gone, were you still happy?
Izumi felt so many emotions overcome him as he didn’t know what to feel. Nostalgia, pain, sadness, and all sorts of other emotions. He knew that you were gone; your warmth was no more. Crying out to himself in the darkroom, “S/o, I want to see you again…” His pleads were head upon no ears. The one who taught him how to love was you and only you. However, he knew that you were no more. Once dry, the picture frame is now wet from the lonely tears the ash-haired boy cried. “Good night S/o, sweet dreams,” was all Izumi could whisper before setting the frame back facing down. Bits and pieces of memories were unsealed as the night went on.
The clock ticked slowly as Izumi stared at the ceiling. Everything felt so empty without you, but then again, it felt like he’s sealed everything away. Wet tears soon dried, the warm blanket felt as lonely, just like the last time he slept, and the soft snores of the saddened boy echoed throughout the silent room. However, the boy's dream was something that’s like a fairytale, straight out of one, to be exact.
Lights, camera, and action was all the boy could really do. Posing with products for advertisement ranging from a fashion line to even makeup products. The clicking and flashing of the camera constantly went off as the little boy obediently did what he was told. However, a certain emerald-eyed boy didn’t want to stand around and pose any longer.
As the young ash-haired boy finished, he noticed that his supposedly younger brother had disappeared. The boy grew worried as he left the room to look for the younger blonde, calling out his name multiple times, “Yuu-kun, where are you?” The young Izumi continued searching for the blonde as he heard a familiar voice. Izumi quickly followed the voice as he turned around the corner of a hallway to see you and his beloved brother. “Just who are you, and what are you doing to my Yuu-kun?” Izumi gave a glare toward the younger version of yourself. “Your Yuu-kun?” You gave a confused face; you simply found the boy wandering and decided to walk with him if anything wrong happened.
Makoto turned around to see Izumi as he ran back to him, “Onii-chan, this onee-chan stayed with me the whole entire time! Don’t be mean to her,” Makoto pleaded to Izumi with the most enormous puppy eyes. Izumi sighed and rubbed the nape of his neck in an embarrassed manner, “Is that so… Sorry then, but who are you exactly then?” You chuckled at the boy’s change in attitude as you introduced yourself, “Me? I’m Y/n. I’m also a model here; let’s be friends! What do you say?” You then stuck your hand out in a friendly manner, wanting to shake hands with the boy.
Izumi felt a bit taken back by the upfront gesture, but he didn’t hate it. He looked at Makoto, who also looked back at him, nodding his head to accept the gesture. Izumi slowly took your hand as he nodded his head, “Yeah… I’m Izumi; nice to meet you too.” From there, something bloomed and grew more than just being friends, but for now, this was the building blocks of your friendship to something more.
Time passed as the two of you grew up. Childhood friends were the best way to put it. Makoto slowly distanced himself from Izumi and you; it honestly broke your heart. You don’t know what you did, but soon enough, the little bird left the nest, finding his home somewhere else, leaving you and Izumi together. You couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely now that the young baby bird had left the nest.
The two of you were walking home together from school just like every day, but you were feeling down for some reason. Izumi noticed this, but he didn’t know what to do. He simply made you sit on a nearby bench and bought your favorite drink. The cold surface coming into contact with your warm skin made you jump at the touch of it, “Really, Izumi?” You gave a deadpan before taking the drink from him. “Hah? Really? That’s all you have to say to me?” Izumi snapped back, his hands making their way to his hips in a motherly manner.
You laughed at his attitude, your mood feeling a lot better than before, “You’re right, thanks, Izumi! You know how to really lift my mood, don’t you?” Izumi let out a sigh of relief as he took a seat next to you on the bench, “Of course I do; we’ve been friends for a while now.” Izumi never acted like this to anyone else but you and only you. You melted the thorn in his heart, but only he knows that.
Izumi doesn’t want to lose you, not at all. He wants to protect you with all his might; he doesn’t want to have you feel all sorts of pain. He’ll be there to protect you, shielding you away from all the darkness in the world.
However, one day, Makoto wanted to have you meet the rest of his unit members. The two of you kept in touch, but he also grew distant from you, just as distant as he did with Izumi now. The day you met Makoto’s friends, you felt so happy for him, but you couldn’t help but feel lonely as well. You ended up getting along with his teammates, but you still felt lonely. “Makoto, I’m so happy that you’re able to meet such amazing people; I’ll be cheering you guys on!” You gave a ‘happy’ smile as everyone else laughed and smiled genuinely. Makoto couldn’t be any happier that you approved of his dreams and friends. However, in the back of your head, you kept telling yourself, “I’m not lonely…”
After the gathering ended, you quickly left, calling Izumi. After moments of the phone dialing, you heard the voice you’ve been waiting to hear, “Hello? Y/n, what do you need?” You continued walking, your voice shaky, “Are you home?” Izumi noticed your shaky voice and softened his tone, “Yeah, I’m home; wanna come over?” You simply nodded your head, “Yeah… I’ll be on my way there.” Not long after that, you hung up, making your way to his home.
On the other hand, Izumi sighed as he prepared food for the two of you, waiting for you to arrive. A simple dinner for the two of you, miso soup and pork cutlet. Izumi knows that it’s a bit unhealthy for his diet, but he can make exceptions since this is for you, after all. Besides, cooking the two wasn’t all that hard since he had the ingredients needed to make the two. Simple and fast was something he could make before you could make it to his home, and just like that, time flew by as the boy finished dinner. Bringing the food to the dinner table, he started setting the table until he heard the doorbell ring.
The boy quickly opened the door as he saw you. “Ah, Y/n-“ Before Izumi could say anything else, he was cut off by you giving him an abrupt hug. Izumi didn’t say anything else but returned the hug. He knew that you hadn’t been feeling good, but he didn’t know what to do to cheer you up. He felt horrible that he couldn’t do a single thing to help but be by your side. “Let’s go have dinner Y/n; it’ll get cold if we wait any longer,” Izumi suggested, gently freeing you from his touch. You nodded and slipped off your shoes, making your way to the same table you’ve eaten dinner on for who knows how many times now.
You took a seat across from Izumi as you waited for the boy to take his seat as well. “Thanks, Izumi, it means a lot to me,” you gave a grateful smile; you wouldn’t know what you would do without him. Even when your parents weren’t there and away at work overseas, he was there for you. “It’s no big deal, but don’t you have something on your mind?” Izumi asked, his eyebrows raised up in a questioning manner. You flinched at the sudden question, “Me? Um… To be honest, I’m feeling-“ your voice was then muffled; Izumi couldn’t hear anything else now. Just like that, you finished what you were saying and a pained smile on your face. He felt his heartbreak as purple hyacinth, and pure white lily petals covered his vision just like last time.
Izumi immediately woke up from his long dream; he stared outside his window with the stars shining ever so brightly, his thoughts plaguing his mind, “I wonder if they’re eating well…” Izumi felt the same nostalgic feeling overcoming him, the darkroom made the boy not able to go back to sleep. Perhaps the dance of these flowers will fulfill the dancing he couldn’t do. White, blue, and purple petals blurred his vision as he saw something he’d never want to recall ever again.
“S/o? Dinner’s ready; I’m opening the door,” Izumi said, swinging the door open, but to see something that’d cause the boy to seal away what was hidden so long ago. Izumi stood there in horror as he saw your lifeless body hanging from the ceiling. Your cellphone on the floor was left open; perhaps this is a clue to what happened. Izumi shakily took the phone as he went through your phone, disgusting social media rumors about you, hate messages, and the death of your parents. You loved your family dearly, and to hear that they were gone was the tipping stage. You broke and couldn’t be fixed. The thing Izumi wanted to do most for you was to protect you, but he failed. He felt hopeless, the only one who was always by his side even if he was mean to you. He still cared for you, and you were everything to him. This was the breaking point for him, first Leo and now you. Monochrome and grey the boy’s world grew. The once purple, blue, and white petals all grew monochrome as his vision blurred once again, finding himself in reality.
At your funeral, the boy cried out his heart. The one he loved most was now gone and he couldn’t do anything to help you at all. The biggest guilty feeling plagued his heart throughout the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and years. The monochrome world started becoming darker, slowly fading almost into one shade. However, color would soon be brought into his world.
It was the two-year anniversary of your passing, the summer heat getting to him was quite bothersome, but it wasn’t enough to derive his focus from your grave. He placed the bouquet of daisies and lilies on top of your grave, gently gliding his fingers over your engraved name, “I really miss you S/o…” Izumi continued to speak to your grave as if you were really there in person, “Are you laughing up there? I really want to see you again, you know? It’s really dark without you here…” Izumi placed your favorite drink down as an offering to you. He could never forget how you’d smile every time he made your day. It was something he loved ever so dearly.
“I really hope you know that you taught me how to love and that I love you a lot…” The azure eyes of the boy started to crystallize with tears, unable to stop them from flowing. He missed you so much it hurts, but he knows that he has to move forward. “I hope you’re resting well and in peace, good night love,” Izumi said his last goodbyes and turned around to leave, but heard a faint whisper of someone. It was sweet like honey and music to his ears, “I love you too Izumi, I’ll see you next summer!” Izumi turned back to see nobody, but he noticed that there was a sole Forget-Me-Not flower placed on your grave. For the first time in two years, he saw the tiniest pigment of blue.
I just start watching the enstar anime and i laugh so hard when i hear chiaki saying he want a lover who can make a lunch for him but at the same time it make me think of something 👀..
Chiaki love his s/o cooking so much , every lunch of his is all made by his beloved s/o , if his lunch wasnt made by his s/o ..he probably wont eat much of the food , Every lunch of him will contain with a small note from his s/o, He always love the taste of the food you made-
But..
he cant taste it anymore.. All of the food he used too love taste bland in his mouth , He always wondering when did all of the food that he eat taste bland and empty.
Oh right it was since his s/o dead.
He missed the moment.. when his s/o always gift him a lunch box when his s/o were walking to school , when his s/o made a special lunch for him to cheer him up , when his s/o sometimes eat lunch together , when his s/o clean his face that fill with his eating mess, and most importantly how he missed your presence..
He really wish he can taste your food one last time..
OMG ANON YOUR BRAIN???? that makes such good angst food OUGH I'M SHAKING YOU SO HARD RN
what if he tried to replicate the food his s/o cooked but he couldn't feel the same taste and just has the thought, "It's not the same without them" ???? UGH ANON YOUR FLOODING MY FLUFF BRAIN WITH SUCH A GOOD ANGST IDEA IOADJFOIPADJFIOAJDFOPIAJDFSOP
this is just... ough,,, such a good idea.... It's like living a dream until reality came crashing down on him after the loss of his s/o,,, IT'S OKAY CHIAKI I'LL COOK YOU FOOD ANYTIME AOPSDJFPOAIJDF
