Perhaps, I could love you (Gonzalo x Magda)
It wasn't a secret that most commoners were brutally - sometimes almost adorably - honest.
It was also a fact the nobles were completely opposite.
Gonzalo loved honesty and even more so, valued it almost as much as his looks. Especially since he, himself, came from the world of lies and masks he was forced to wear.
Young Gonzalo thought that the acting was fun. He loved to play among the big actors and actresses on this royal stage.
"Be good and you'll enjoy all the luxury you want", this was his motto until the day the young Jorcastle learned mischief.
Young Gonzalo was a generous actor, a brilliant child.
Adult Gonzalo came to be a beautiful blooming narcissus, an actor of his own play.
He started to take a liking to Alan quite unexpectedly even for himself. It wasn't the first ball, not even the second. In fact, Gonzalo often thought, he had noticed Alan's shine on the glorious parade organized after winning a difficult battle against Sulla. That shy, inconspicuous boy was shining while sincerely speaking words of gratitude to his comrades who stood beside him no matter what; to the people who believed in him and relied on the Guard; and, in a lower voice, to the nobles who supported them.
It was understandable - few believed in the commoners' capabilities to hold weapons properly, let alone their success. But at that very moment Gonzalo, who was smiling before, felt something akin to the irritation. He couldn't quite understand whether it was from the nobles' attitude towards the Guard or the Guard Captain himself. What Gonzalo was sure of, though, was the fact Captain Alan had caught his attention against his will. And for this, the Jorcatsle was determined to get to talk to the Captain at the upcoming ball.
Did he have to say it wasn't a successful try? More than anything, Gonzalo was confused for the first time in what felt like forever.
***
"Captain Alan!" Brilliant smile and exquisite clothes - his usual kit was ready with him. Gonzalo made sure to look his best before he came to the ball and presented himself even better at the ball itself, grabbing the attention of all of today's guests.
However, Alan's concerned frown wasn't the kind of attention he wanted to receive. Not from him.
"Ah- sir Jorcastle?" Clearly, he didn't expect a noble to greet him first - not until the said noble would want something from the Guard, that is. Sometimes Alan wanted to think they could come up to him to talk without an ulterior motive, to thank the citizens for their efforts not out of the feeling of duty but due to being actually grateful. "Good evening, sir."
But Alan wasn't a fool and, even though he couldn't hide the glint of admiration in his eyes, he couldn't help but frown, clearly nervous thanks to the thoughts of what might be asked of him - once again.
"Yes, it is a good evening indeed." Gonzalo hit the floor with his cane twice, still smiling pleasantly - a sing he noticed other emotion behind the worry on the soldier's face. "How do you like the ball, captain Alan? I assume you must have gotten used to them looking back at your speech a day before."
He thought that it was, surely, a good way to start the conversation. And maybe it was - in the nobles' circle. But what was a normal, adequate way of speaking for Gonzalo turned out to be not so normal for a commoner.
"No, not at all! It's… just the same." Alan couldn't help but see an insult, an attack behind the words. After all, he didn't do that well and everyone must have noticed. And thus, the brave captain chose to retreat. "I'm sorry to say this, sir Jorcastle, but I'm afraid I must go - my general is calling for me."
Gonzalo never saw anyone being so eager to run away from him to the scar-face cad.
And never before he was so agitated.
It took him some time to understand what went wrong despite his brilliant planning. The tone, the acting he was oh so used to didn't work on commoners, having the opposite effect. It was surprising but not beyond understanding. After all, they belonged to different classes.
Gonzalo tried again, then. He observed, chatted with families of lower birth and approached Alan. At first, it was similar to his previous try and he had to make Alan stay, telling he had to discuss some important matters - which, unfortunately, weren't important enough to talk longer than a couple of dances - ten minutes were his maximum of having captain's attention on himself.
He thought it was good enough, however. Not that Gonzalo didn't want more but that was definitely better than having captain run away. Plus, he enjoyed the thought that Alan was getting used to having him around. He was still shy but definitely less confused comparing to their previous conversation. Gonzalo liked that and liked a lot.
Ten minutes were enough. Before the girl named Magda Ellenstein came to Finsel and appeared at the ball for the first time, that is.
The girl was a fallen noble, a young heiress to a family with nothing to inherit at all. She was a noble, still, but she could talk to Alan just like anyone else. It seemed so easy, so natural for Magda Ellenstein to talk to the commoners. Almost as easy as talking to nobles but Gonzalo didn't bother himself to see her earnest look win everyone's favor. Was he was bothered with was the way Alan held himself during the talk with the girl. It was more than being comfortable enough to talk - Captain of the Guard enjoyed himself and smiled happily every time she accepted his invitation to dance.
Gonzalo didn't like that at all. He thought Ellenstein wanted to use Alan to strengthen their positions among the commoners or, perhaps, use the boy as a powerful tool to climb up and gain control over the city. Young Jorcastle couldn't allow that to happen - not on his watch - and he tried his best to scare Magda away from his Captain and him, himself.
But she didn't run away. Instead, Magda Ellenstein just smiled at him and apologized for her inappropriate behavior - even though there was nothing inappropriate. She came up to him again next time and time after this trying to be more subtle, trying to understand what was the thing that Gonzalo got upset with when they met for the first time. Magda tried her best to cover it up with small talks and smiles but she was too honest for her own sake and those prying eyes told him everything he wanted to know.
She was too honest - and Gonzalo couldn't help but feel guilty and jealous and, just a bit, fascinated by this.
He judged her wrong, Magda didn't have any ulterior motives and didn't plan anything against Alan.
She was adorably, painfully honest - and this was the reason Alan liked her. This was also a reason why Gonzalo found himself unable to hate this girl for Alan's interest in her.
"Gonzalo, are you, perhaps, interested in Mister Alan?"
And when she started trying to help him grab Alan's attention? Gonzalo found himself unable to not be fascinated by her - this tiny little woman who had the strength to smile and laugh with him, to listen to his monologs with a genuine interest in her eyes. Who had the strength to help him gain Alan's favor and stay his, Gonzalo Jorcastle, best friend despite the fact she herself had feelings for him that were hiding in small sighs and shy smiles she gave him sometimes.
"I'm sorry, Magda, my beautiful little sparrow", he said one day, "Perhaps, I would love you if I'd got to know you first." "I know", she answered to him with that small, shy smile hers in a quiet voice. "But being your friend is already more than enough."
More than enough. That was the same thing he forced himself to think before. But maybe it was better this way sometimes - to make something more than enough so anything else would be impossible to attain by default.
After all, little sparrows weren't supposed to be attracted to flowers. Just like narcissus couldn't be attracted to anything but water and earth - things that sparrows were so, so far from.