Hey, MEN!
Aren't you sick of people telling you what to do?
Aren't you tired of blue-haired liberal's pushing their cultural agenda?
Telling you that all your hobbies are "toxic", and all your role models are 'problematic'?
Yuo know exactly what I'm talking about...
For too long, women have been trying to erase the CARTOON CAVEMAN tradition from American culture, and we've had Enough! When was the last time you saw a caveman video game, or a cartoon episode about a caveman being unfrozen in the modern day? If you did, I bet they tried to silence you for it!
What, because it's "politically appropriation?" Grow up! Even FLINT STONE doesn't have the cultural cache it used to! Is this the world you want your children's to grow up in? A world where they don't even know how to chase a T-Rex with a wooden club because their school's were more busy teaching them about GENDERS and TYPE MATCH UPS?
The data doesn't lie, but you'll never see this being covered on LAMEstream media!
So us MEN are supposed to just sit idly by, as all the brontosaurus leg/oversized meat-on-bone joints in OUR neighbourhoods are replaced by "vegan leaf restaurants"? And when the government comes to take the bone ornaments out of our hair, WHO are we supposed to turn to?
Here's a story I heard from Facebook: in 2024, a boy from Arizona dressed up in traditional American caveman garb for class, but his teacher, a purple haired woman, screamed "WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SO OFFENSIVE!", and she beat him to death with her gender books, and buried him in kitty litter, and peed on it, and the courts ruled in her favour because the Judge was also a woman (purple haired).
This kind of thing is happening in our schools EVERY DAY, and you'll never hear anyone talk about it! Literally! If someone tries to talk about it, the goverment will use the remote control from Adam Sandler's Click to put them on mute. It's devastating.
THIS is the kind of thing our culture needs to return to! Just men being men, swinging on vines, fighting for girl's kiss reward. These days, girls wouldn't give kiss reward, and the vines would be replaced by. 5G....
THANKFULLY, WE AT WEIRD MARIO ENEMIES ARE FIGHTING BACK...... After our successful coup of the U.S. government, we're instituting a mandatory Underrepresented Grug Hiring (UGH) policy for all branches of our government, and for all private companies, too!
Once approved, this policy will ensure we can only hire authentic caveman, freshly unfrozen from solid blocks of ice, to work in every conceivable occupation and also have our babies, while the rest of us starve to death and rot away along with every other sin of modern industrialist society!
We're also bringing Homo neanderthalensis back from extinction! "Their back, baby!!"
Of course, you can expect us to go through a complete rebrand to match. From this day forwards, weirdmarioenemies will instead become 'weirdrocks.' And though we don't want to spoil anything, our new head writer Mod Zag has allowed for a special preview of our upcoming first post, right below the cut...!
Take it away, Mod Zag!