#mod's headcanons

[evilestgenius-jumba]

Hi! After seeing the last questions sent to Pleakley, I am curious to know if there are different opinions about gender on your planet than on Plorgonar?

EH, YES, IT IS VERY PRESENT ON QUELTE QUAN, YES THERE IS "BOY" AND "GIRL" (SUCH AS MYSELF AND EX-WIFE FOR EXAMPLES) BUT IS ALSO FEW OTHERS THAT JUMBA IS UNSURE OF HOW TO TRANSLATE INTO EARTHLY ENGLISH.

IT PLAYS ROLE IN SOCIETY AND HAS IMPORTANCE BUT IS NOT END-ALL BE-ALL LIKE FOR PLORGONAR. US KWELTIKWANS TYPICALLY ARE VERY BLUNT AND DIRECT SPECIES, NOT FOR BEATING AROUND BUSHES, AND TO ATTEMPT TO KEEP ANOTHER FROM PORTRAYING THEMSELVES GENUINELY IS USUALLY DULL BLADED. DOESN'T CUT IT AND GETS IGNORED.

IS NOT BIG DEAL.

NOT LIKE TRYING TO RESTRICT YOUNG EVIL GENIUS PRODIGY JUMBA FROM FOLLOWING TRUE CALLING, BAH! NO, THAT WAS ALWAYS JUST FINE TO DO. BUNCH OF COWARDS, I AM SAYING!

[evilestgenius-jumba]

How old are you in complete earth rotations around the sun? I have wondered about this --- actually in between all of your knowledge --- your concocted organism resume (you call them your experiments), ---- how many planets you have been to, in the past, throughout the galaxy --- just, in between everything. I was thinking your species lives longer than humans. I felt like shooting for around 123 earth rotations (what we call years). Of course, that is just a complete guess I pulled out of nowhere, however it might be even longer. How old are you?

FEH! ANONYMOUS HUMAN SOCIAL MEDIA USER IS NOT NEEDING TO KNOW OF JUMBA'S PRECISE AGE. IS PRIVATE INFORMATION!

BUT, IF IT IS SOOO IMPORTANT, JUMBA IS PHYSICALLY AGED FOR A KWELTIKWAN SIMILAR TO A HUMAN AROUND 50 CYCLES. I AM NOT 50 THOUGH.

[evilestgenius-jumba]

hello jumba. how do i cuss in alien languages. i dont really care what alien languages, i just wsnt to cuss in a way no humans around me recognize.

IS MANY WAYS. MANY, MANY LANGUAGES. BEST LANGUAGE TO LOOK INTO WOULD BE TANTALOG, BECAUSE IT IS A STANDARD LANGUAGE WITHIN UNITED GALACTIC FEDERATION.

EH.. AS FOR SWEARS, IS OFTEN MORE IN WAY OF INSULTING THAN JUST SWEAR.

FOR EXAMPLE, 626 AND I ARE CALLING EACHOTHER IKA PATOOKA WHEN GETTING ON NERVES. IS LIKE CALLING SOMEONE "BIG GRUMP" OR "SOURPUSS" AS YOU SAY, IN MORE DEROGATORY WAY.

BASIC, LOW-EFFORT INSULT WOULD TO BE CALLING SOMEONE "TROG". IS EASY TO USE AND EASY TO OVERUSE.

THERE ARE SOME STANDARD TERMS AS WELL THAT HAVE UNIQUE WORDS FOR WHEN MEANING TO BE INSULTING. KWEESTA, FOR EXAMPLE. WAS ONE OF FIRST WORDS 626 EVER SPOKE. IS VERY NAUGHTY FORM OF "DESTROY".

TERM THAT IS MORE EQUIVALENT TO EARTHLY SWEARING WOULD BE SOMETHING MORE LIKE, CHOOTA. IF USED IN CONTEXT SIMILAR TO ENGLISH PHRASE "PIECE OF SHIT", YOU WOULD BE SAYING AKA-CHOOTA.

LIKE ON EARTH, IS MANY WAYS OF SWEARING INTERGALACTICALLY. IS JUST BASICS. ON QUELTE QUAN IT IS INSULT TO BE LYING, WE ARE OFTEN BRUTALLY HONEST. JUMBA'S LINE OF WORK MADE HIM DISHONEST MAN ON PLANET OF ORIGIN!

[evilestgenius-jumba]

Doctor Jumba sir, are the first and last names of individuals in your culture reversed to our own? As in, would Jookiba really be considered your first name, and Jumba your last?

INTRUIGED BY QUESTION. BUT TO ANSWER, EH, NO.

IS SIMPLY PERSONAL CHOICE TO BE OFTEN REFERRING TO SELF AS "DR. JUMBA" AS OPPOSED TO "DR. JOOKIBA".

QUELTE QUAN HAS BEEN PART OF UNITED GALACTIC FEDERATION FOR VERY LONG TIME NOW, AND MUCH OF UNIQUE NAMING SYSTEMS GRADUALLY CHANGED TO FIT UGF, SAVE FOR NUMBER OF COMMUNITIES WHO KEPT SUCH. JUMBA WAS BORN IN BIGGER TOWN MUCH AFTER TRADITIONAL KWELTIKWANIAN NAMING SYSTEMS THAT DIFFERED FROM FIRST NAME FOLLOWED BY LAST NAME WERE PHASED OUT.

[altadorheadcanons]

After years of research, I've concluded that...

Almadaira is a Varwolf. You're welcome.

[incorrect-joseimuke]

Mitsutada: We should normalize not loving family members.

Tsurumaru: Mitsu bou, you can just say: "I'm tired of cleaning up my family's mess ups and my grandfather constantly yelling at me to be perfect".