#mod's lonely thoughts

[theenigmaticmind]

I try to be a loving person and a caring person; someone who is willing to take time out of their busy day to reach out to someone and say hi or how they’re doing and/or say how much I love them. My biggest problem is that I still believe to this day I’m just a bother and a pest to everyone and one day someone’s gonna snap at me and say, “Hey buddy, F@#* OFF!”.

Hey...it’s happened before.

The biggest thing I want right now is for someone who loves me to say to me, “I love you. You mean the world to me. I think about you everyday. I think you are one of the loveliest and kindest people I know”

Although...I think that’s asking for too much. :/

[theenigmaticmind]

I'm seeing conversations, and pictures that spark conversations that I wish I was a part of...

but I can't, because I'm not into those sort of things, and some things I were into, I'm not anymore.

Then are those who talk about love, making out, things that turn them on with their partners, and heck, I don't have anyone to discuss that with. I'm the odd man out and it's tough being the odd man out.

Everyone will be in a group talking about their favorite thing and I'll still be in front of the computer, not interested, doing work, of course.

But that's life I guess. Some people have it more lucky then others and 99.9% of people are luckier then me.

I just happened to start living for myself too late in the game. Do I have hope? I honestly don't know anymore.

Most of the time I believe I'm put on this earth to pay bills, not live my dream and die.

[theenigmaticmind]

With BronyCon on it's way, everyone is too busy getting their stuff ready to be able to chat, and that's fine...it's just being on the end of not going there kinda sucks because I'm not in that mode of getting things ready and such like my friends are. They're horrendously busy and I'm not.

Oh well...I guess I'll read some more horror manga. Junji Ito's work is amazing.

I hope my friends have fun either way.

*kicks a stone aside*