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My Only Direction: Chapter 12

Three nights after Zayn had sung Tell Me A Lie to Dianna onstage, it was the final concert before the 1D boys would be leaving for Ireland and, after that, the rest of their world tour.

It was a phenomenal concert, of course. The past few nights had flown by and Soph had realized with a startling realization that she wasn’t only losing Harry, Louis, Niall and Liam this time, but Rose, too. And that made Soph feel incredibly alone.

She’d even, in a temporary lapse, thought she’d miss Zayn, but Soph decided she was simply getting desperate. They hadn’t spoken since their argument – the topic of which Soph couldn’t even remember, if there had been one at all – despite Zayn’s best efforts. He’d tried talking to her in the 1D household, whenever Soph was visiting (which was frequently, now that it was a part of her job, Lauren thought she was going to be the first Mrs D and because she wanted to spend as much time with her boys and Rose before they had to go), or calling out to her if he saw her alone in the corridor backstage, but Soph didn’t want to know.

It was for the best, Soph had decided. Somehow, in the past week and a half/two weeks or so – if even that – Soph had apparently begun to lose her mind. She’d called Zayn “sweet”, for goodness sake. And to Rose, so it wasn’t like she could even justify trying to keep up appearances.

Rose had told Soph about what had happened with Liam. But things had been so crazy in preparation for tour, that Liam and Rose hadn’t had a moment to themselves.

Rose wasn’t decided on whether that was a good thing or not. On the upside, though, she’d been hanging out with Harry a lot instead.

It turned out that Harry knew way more about relationships than he’d ever let on. Harry being educated about sex, yes, Rose had expected that, but relationships had been a little bit of a BIG shocker.

In all honesty, Harry pitied Rose. How many times had he seen girls fall into the 1D trap? Falling for one of the boys, whilst only able to pine for them from afar? The only problem was that Rose had gotten further than anybody else Harry had recognized with the symptoms. She’d actually managed to get one of the guys.

Which wouldn’t be such a problem if she didn’t have a boyfriend.

Usually, Harry wouldn’t really have bothered to get too involved. He’d offer some advice, try and make her laugh a bit perhaps, but then he would have carried on with life.

But Harry had seen more of Rose than he would with an average member of the team and that had a lot to do with Soph. Not only did Harry know what a good friend Rose had been to his best friend, but he had only seen glimpses of what he was sure was a lovely person.

There was another thing, too. Rose hadn’t just fangirled once she’d kissed Liam. She’d felt guilty, she’d felt genuinely bad that she was scamming her boyfriend behind his back (for lack of a better term). To Harry, that not only showed more than just being nice, but it also showed that it wasn’t fake. Rose wasn’t just trying to get with Liam because he was “Liam Payne of One Direction” – not to say that people who did that he thought any less of. In fact, he was... “friends” with plenty of girls who did it just so they knew they could pull someone famous.

But Rose had shown there were feelings involved. Sure, Liam being famous would still always be a part of it now, with the fame and everything, but Rose had shown an emotional depth Harry hadn’t seen in many girls since they’d become famous.

Plus, he wouldn’t be seeing Soph for more than a few, long weeks. And in the past few months, Harry had gotten so used to her accompany, he couldn’t imagine life without her. Not only would looking out for Rose keep Soph happy and, in a way, maybe make up for the fact Harry would be gone for so long, but also, it would... Well, it would be nice for Harry to have a best friend on tour. Not a replacement of Soph, definitely not, but more an... Extension of their friendship.

Soph and Rose were backstage, waiting for the boys to finish their performance, before they all went out to commemorate their last night together for what would be more than a substantial amount of time away from each other – each other being them and Soph. Although Soph would be in constant correspondence with them and would have a key to the 1D house, it wasn’t the same. The boys wished Soph could experience the wonder that was tour with them, like Rose could, but it just wasn’t possible.

Rose had already changed out of the drab clothes she wore as her uniform. There was a funfair in Central London that night and they were all planning on going together. She was in a pair of blue jeans, a sparkly tank-top and a pair of furry, heeled boots, a blazer ready and waiting at her disposal. Soph was only in jeans and a ratty jumper, but she’d promised Rose she’d change before they left.

In all honesty, Soph didn’t want to change. She knew she should make the effort and usually would, but tonight... Well, she didn’t want to give Zayn even the slightest reason to talk to her, even if it was to say she looked nice.

Soph was definitely avoiding him. She had a nestling pit of snakes at the bottom of her stomach, even thinking about it. She didn’t know why, but Soph just had a... Feeling... That being friends with Zayn would be no good. Again, she didn’t know why. But she just had a sense of... Foreboding? Something telling her that it wasn’t worth the risk.

What risk she was talking but, Hell, she would love to know.

“So... Do you want to get dressed now?” Rose asked hopefully, glancing disdainfully at Soph’s ratty camouflage sneakers and not thinking very much of them, no matter how comfortable they looked.

“We’re watching the show, aren’t we?” Soph replied, her eyes coming back from their daze and focusing on the screen. The boys were about to perform I Want, before their usual, What Makes You Beautiful.

“It’s nothing we haven’t seen before, or won’t see again.” Rose commented lightly.

“For you!” Soph teased, her smile not meeting her eyes.

“Jealous?” Rose teased back.

“More than you’ll ever know.” Soph smiled briefly. “So... I signed the contract today. With Lauren. My official promotion.”

“Scared?” Rose asked, after a moment.

“Absolutely bloody bricking it.” Soph replied with another brief, anxious smile. “I have no idea if I can handle something this big. I mean, Jesus, Soph, I’m barely out of uni a year. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go. It’s not meant to be this... Easy.”

“You have nothing to be scared about.” Rose told her confidently, taking Soph’s hand and squeezing it tightly. “You have inside contacts, right?! And you deserve this.”

“Do I?” Soph raised an eyebrow. “Or is it because my boss thinks I’m fucking Malik?”

“You have to admit.” Rose bit her bottom lip devilishly. “It’s a nice thought.”

“Rose!” Soph yelled, both of them laughing as Soph shoved her lightly. “No!”

Their laughter subsided and that same, anxious expression on Soph’s face returned.

“Remind me why you won’t talk to him?” Rose asked quietly, leaning forward with an encouraging smile.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Soph shrugged, not bothering to pretend she didn’t know who Rose was talking about. There was no point in keeping up a facade with Rose. Rose knew her too well. “I just don’t see how this can benefit me. I mean, my boss thinks we’re going out. Can you imagine if my parents found out? I am the press, I know how desperate people can get to make their big break, their big story. Wouldn’t people just love it, if Zayn Malik was reportedly going out with a member of his new press team?”

“You’re taking this too seriously, man.” Rose sighed, collapsing back onto the sofa. Rose glanced at the screen on the wall and felt sick as Liam’s solo for I Want began. He hadn’t so much as looked her way since that first show that Rose had seen.

“You’re not taking your problem seriously enough.” Soph nudged, as Liam glanced over at the screen as his solo ended. “You know all Hell is going to break loose if Ryan finds out through the press? You know how much your family love him. And somebody will notice what’s going on while you’re on tour, I can’t use my job to protect you guys if I’m not there.”

“I know.” Rose sighed miserably. “I just don’t know what to do. Harry’s been trying to help me through it-”

“So I heard.” Soph said wryly, her eyebrows shooting up again. “What’s he said to you?”

“He’s under the impression that maybe I never should have had to make a choice at all.” Rose wrinkled her nose. “Whatever that means.”

“Probably that the boys shouldn’t have pushed you into it so soon.” Soph mused aloud. “That’s the conclusion we seemed to come to, anyway.”

Rose didn’t mind Soph and Harry discussing her love life. In another life, she may have been disappointed at Harry’s truly innocent intentions, but Rose had enough drama to deal with.

“OHH AND ALL THE GIRLS SAY!” Harry sang loudly, winking at the screen in a way that managed to make Rose smile forlornly. She used to smile at 1D concerts, now she had the most horrible feeling she never would without wanting to cry.

In a way, Rose liked the way that Harry interrupted the meaningful gaze that was given by Liam’s solo. It was a pleasant distraction.

“Come on.” Rose said, smiling at the screen as Harry caught Rose’s eye and gave her a small smile of acknowledgement through the door leading to the stage. “We need to get you dressed. Even if you don’t talk to him for the next few weeks, he should see you in his head.”

“Mehh.” Soph groaned, as Rose tried to pull Soph’s dead weight. “Is there pink involved?”

“Apart from your nails, none, I promise.” Rose grinned.

Soph waggled her newly painted, black nails at her. The colour pink Zayn had chosen she’d never thought to have suited her much, anyway.

“Well, then, absolutely no pink.” Rose amended, waggling her fingers. “Come on.”

With a groan, Soph allowed herself to be heaved up. Rose was right. She may as well look good. Even if it was only to piss off Malik.

Even if she didn’t know why.

“ – those stuffed animals, you’ve got a fucking obsession-”

Zayn stopped, Harry, Louis, Liam and Niall stopping, speechless, behind him.

Rose surveyed her work with pride. Damn, she was good at her job.

The girl standing beside barely resembled the girl they all (well, almost all) knew and loved. She was more than that. She was the girl they knew and loved, but in... High definition.

She wore skinny black jeans with patches of streaks of silver, high heeled black court shoes and a fitted black, long-sleeved dress with a modest, but form-hugging V-neck plunge.

Her cheeks were high and defined by the rosy colour that the heat of the room brought them. The chocolate in her eyes were brought out in contrast to her tanned skin, but smooth, dark brown smoke, framing those big eyes with long and thick dark lashes. Her hair was straightened and tied expertly to the side, falling smoothly down her shoulder.

And her lips were the same, light, rosy pink they’d ever been, currently curved in the perfect “o”.

“Careful, boys.” Soph told them, placing her hands on her hips and shaking her head confusedly at them, not truly understanding Rose’s skill. “Another other person might think you’d seen something you liked.”

Zayn almost allowed the words to tumble out of his mouth, but just managed to stop himself, the other four boys nodding in appreciation, as Zayn could only stare.

Two hours later and they were all at the funfair.

The bright lights were absolutely dazzling against the black night sky. The rollercoasters and rides were all but neon blurs in the sky, the sounds of screaming, chatter and laughter everywhere as people queued and drank and talked.

“No!” Harry was yelling, much to Rose and Niall’s delight, as he tried to win a pink Care Bear. “No, no, no!”

Liam and Louis were competing to see who could win at Hit The Bell, with Louis sabotaging Liam by randomly pinching Liam’s ass at every given moment, causing Liam to yelp and let go of the hammer too soon. Soph stood a little way away, giggling loudly as she sucked on her thumb, watching them as she ate a large bag of thick chips, smothered in mayonnaise and ketchup.

Soph was leant against a fence leading up to the merry-go-round, her laughter suddenly fading slightly as she realized how lonely London would be without the boys. At least with Rose, she was accustomed to not seeing her – sure, Soph and Rose had fallen easily into routine with one another in London, but Soph knew Rose would always be but a phone call away.

With the boys, it was different. They were always so busy. Touring wasn’t just evening or matinee shows. It was press; interviews, magazine shoots, radio meetings, rehearsals, soundchecks, meet and greets. And although Soph knew she was going to be playing a big part in that from a professional perspective, it wasn’t the same as being able to call the boys on a friendly one.

When was she going to be able to call Liam and warn him to let Rose think, whilst maintaining his charm? Or Niall, to remind him that his Nando’s Black Card would still be working when he got back? Or Louis, to make sure he wasn’t ordering loads of those stupid shoes he loved so much from overseas?

And what about Harry?

When was she going to be able to call Harry?

Harry wasn’t just doing all of the same things as the other boys, he would be going out and getting laid, too. And no matter how much Soph endorsed Rose and Harry keeping a good eye out on each other, nothing was going to change that. And, oh, Harry got on so much trouble when he was on tour! Girls throwing themselves at him! Soph had long ago decided that Harry was a sex-addict, or at least a sucker for trouble. He knew flirting with fans was bad for him. But that didn’t stop him waking up in the morning with them a few hours later.

Harry and Soph had gotten into a routine by now. When Soph’s Dad was home, she knew he’d be watching movies with Adam, or working in the dining room while Adam played video games and Mum kept Dad company with a cup of tea, reading a magazine. Soph knew that was when she could go up to her room, undisturbed, and talk to Harry for at least a few hours before her parents headed to bed.

Then Harry would go out, be on the brink of doing something stupid, but remember whatever conversation he’d had with Soph earlier that night and stop himself – barely, though, of course.

But it wasn’t just any of that, either. Soph was... Lonely.

Ever since her Mum had started her own project a few years back, everything was so busy. Dad was always working and when he wasn’t, he was making scathing comments that hurt more than Soph was willing to admit. Her Mother had a foul temper and was known to not hold back on the abusive language when she felt angry, but most days, she was so exhausted from work, she’d come in, yell and go to sleep. Soph and Adam’s sort-of adoptive aunt, Aunt April, looked after the house and made sure there was something to eat for Soph and Adam. She didn’t need to now that Soph worked, but she was more of a maternal figure than their mother and it was nice to see her in the afternoons, particularly for Adam.

Adam. Soph and her little brother were so close, it almost hurt to not see him that much anymore. Despite the religious differences, Adam went to Scouts, with his best friend Alex. He had karate and swimming during the weekend and weekdays, he played football competitively after school and was always on school trips for sports and leadership programs, thanks to their Dad’s constant pushing. He’d been accepted into Westminster Academy when he was six, it was much more intense there than the local school Soph had gone to, Snaresbrook, where Adam had only attended his first few hours.

She rarely saw Layla and although Soph had other friends, she could never find it within herself to make an effort with them. It just took too much energy. Soph loved her work and if even that got a bit too taxing, she was happy to watch old Friends and One Tree Hill re-runs in her room in the empty house, with perhaps her Dad downstairs, watching his own film or traditional music videos.

And then One Direction had burst into her life and things were suddenly different.

She had someplace to be, someplace to go where her introverted personality was accepted but, at the same time, allowed her to escape it. She could sit for hours, watching TV with Niall or one of the other boys and it was fine. She could sit in Harry’s room, reading on her own, for hours, or sit out in the garden, working, Louis always being darling enough to make her a snack if he saw she was stuck in.

They’d sort of become her... Room-mates. Despite the mess and the chaos and the peril that walking with one of them to the shop might bring, Soph knew she’d love to stay in the 1D household.

They’d given her a key, for while they were away, but Soph knew it would feel empty. And if she even thought about venturing into Harry’s room, knowing he wouldn’t be there for so long, she wanted to cry. Which, considering Soph’s pretence of a hard exterior, was something huge in itself.

She’d gotten into such a... Habit with them. Lunch with the 1D boys, work, hanging out with them, home, dinner, talking to Harry, snatching a few words with Adam before both he and Soph passed out from exhaustion.

In a way, Soph knew it was good. She was being thrown into the deep end and she knew between sinking or swimming, she’d swim (even though that was a metaphor and Soph had nearly drowned as a child). She did have some lovely colleagues at work (and some not so lovely ones). Her boss was great (except she thought she was dating Zayn Malik in secret, which was dysfunction at its highest). Harry was right, she’d probably start eating cheap junk food for while she ate during her lunch break and end up looking pregnant, but never mind.

She’d miss Zayn. She didn’t know why and she was angry with herself that she would, but she’d miss him.

Zayn was watching as he saw Soph’s laughter suddenly stop, a thoughtful look on her face. He’d left everyone to it, while he’d called in on his Mum. He hadn’t been able to visit before tour, which was a shame, but by now, his Mum was more used to him leaving than before. Well, she wasn’t used to it, but she was used to the feelings that came with it. Her baby was a superstar now and that was the simple truth of it.

Patricia had seemed to notice that there was something going on with her baby, as soon as he’d called her. It wasn’t so much because Zayn never called, but more to do with... Maternal instinct. He’d sounded confused and glum, two things that definitely were not normal for a post-tour Zayn. Whilst usually, Zayn was tired, he was otherwise optimistic and looking forward to the times ahead. Now he just sounded... Lost.

After a lot of digging, Patricia had seemingly gotten to the heart of the matter; a girl. She’d heard Soph’s name being thrown about a fair bit in the past few months – she seemed like a nice girl, despite Zayn’s doubts on whether he could trust her, one of Harry’s new friends, a journalist at the UK edition of Teen Vogue – and apparently they were all out together before the boys headed out for tour.

Which, of course, hadn’t made much sense to Patricia. After all, no matter how much she loved her boy, him calling her on his night out wasn’t exactly very... Sensible.

Zayn wasn’t very much for sharing today, Patricia learnt, which had only made Patricia worry some more. So after some digging she’d learnt the truth; that Zayn was perturbed as to why Soph was giving him the cold shoulder.

Zayn didn’t understand why their small fight (well, relatively small fight for them) had such a resounding impact on Soph. Zayn was confused. He’d thought they were getting along. Certainly after they’d spent the day together. They’d even discussed keeping their friendship quiet, so the others didn’t have a heart attack, even though Harry did every time he thought he caught Zayn and Soph looking at each other.

Which, if the pointed, smirking looks Harry seemed to give Zayn every five seconds, was apparently fairly often.

Zayn just didn’t understand! Then again, that wasn’t surprising. Why he’d turned up to Soph’s workplace – a magazine, no doubt – with two boxes of her favourite pizza (which he hadn’t even realized she knew) was alien to him. The excuse he’d given himself had been that since Soph had stormed out of lunch at the 1D house, she’d probably be hungry. And even though she was the one who had allowed herself to get wound up Zayn – which Zayn had found surprisingly entertaining -, Zayn felt slightly responsible for making her starve.

Of course, he hadn’t expected... Well, what had happened. Zayn had found that hanging out with Soph was particularly easier than doing it with anybody else.

He’d miss her.

And that thought had been so sudden, the straw from his Coke dropped out of his mouth and he almost spilt the entire contents down himself.

“I – will – get one!” Harry was yelling, almost crying from the exhaustion of trying to win a Care Bear from one of those claw machines. “I hate these bloody things.” Harry muttered sadly, pressing his head against the glass.

“Here.” Niall offered, laughing. “Give me a go.”

“You won’t get it.” Harry muttered, but moved aside dejectedly.

After two quick minutes of a concentrated Niall, he became victorious, holding the pink Care Bear Harry had been trying to win for the past half hour.

“No!” Harry shouted, grabbing the Care Bear and trying to shove it back up the machine. Niall instantly jumped on him, both of them wrestling uncertainly whilst trying to remain upright. “How did you do that? Noo! It’s not fair!”

Rose laughed, her stomach suddenly grumbling.

“I’ll be back in a sec.” Rose called out to whoever was listening, heading just a small way away to buy some candyfloss. It was just a little further down.

Rose envisaged all the creepy films where shit had gone down at the funfair, when one of the characters, usually the blonde that got killed first, had moved away from the others. But then she remembered the scene from The Notebook.

As it happened, Rose didn’t get raped, but possibly something much worse happened.

“Rose?”

Rose turned and almost threw up her slushie.

It was Lily. As in, Ryan’s sister.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Rose managed to stammer. A dark-haired stranger stood beside Lily, his arm wrapped around her waist, smiling in a friendly fashion.

“I’m here with Cal for our holiday, remember?” Lily smiled. “What are the chances, huh? What a small world!”

Yes, Rose thought sadly, too small. This could only happen to her. Only her. This was the Universe’s way of getting back at her for being a lying, cheating ho, she was sure.

And of course, that was the exact moment Liam chose to appear out of nowhere, wrap his arm around Rose’s waist, kiss her on the cheek and whisper “Hello beautiful”.

Lily’s smile instantly faded.

Fuck this, Rose thought. If I’m going down, it’s on my terms.

“Liam, this is Lily.” Rose said sweetly, forcing herself to recover. “Lily’s Ryan’s sister, I told you about him, didn’t I?” Rose asked calmly, panic flashing in her eyes. “And Lily, this is my gay boss, Liam.”

Rose wasn’t sure where that had come from, but she decided it was the only rational explanation she could have come up with under such circumstances.

“I didn’t know you were gay.” Lily laughed uncertainly, glancing at Rose, clearly confused.

“Ha.” Liam laughed, resting his chin on Rose’s shoulder. “Neither did I.” He muttered, before flashing Lily another quick smile.

The four of them stood there awkwardly, Liam holding Rose tightly as Lily watched them, trying to decipher their relationship and whether or not Liam Payne of One Direction was truly gay, or Rose was just joking.

And as Rose watched her analyze, something Rose herself was brilliant at, Rose kind of wished Liam was truly gay, too.

“Liam!” Harry suddenly shouted, a little further away, and Rose felt such a rush of relief flood through her, she could have cried. “Um, we need you for a minute. Rose, have you got things covered down there?”

In that moment, Rose would have worshipped the ground Harry was standing on. His expression was blank, but she sensed the undertone of worry in Harry’s voice. She’d shown him a picture of Ryan only yesterday, Ryan, Lily and Rose together. He must have recognized her.

Why hadn’t she shown Liam?! Then they wouldn’t have had to pretend he was gay!

“Sure.” Liam shouted back, letting go of Rose. “Alright, well, nice meeting you and I’d appreciate if you kept my private life to yourself.” Liam said politely. Oh, God. How was Rose ever going to be able to explain this properly?? “See you in a bit, Rose?”

“Yeah.” Rose forced a smile, as Lily’s eyes narrowed slightly, preparing for interrogation.

He would see her in Hell, where they were both clearly inevitably going.

Soph walked slowly, sucking on her slushie thoughtfully.

She thought that maybe, perhaps, she’d gotten to the crux of the matter as to why avoiding Zayn was so important to her.

It was the picture Harry had showed her, from when they had all gone out to dinner.

Soph now probably felt subconsciously willing to partake in some sort of relationship with Zayn, because otherwise she’d feel guilty at not meeting everybody’s expectations, something she’d been taught (though hadn’t necessarily completed) to do her entire life. Please others. That, combined with her inner-Directioner-fangirl that had never died and you had a problem.

Because Soph was cautious. And no matter how much she argued with Rose, because she wanted another person to second her own opinion so it seemingly had more value, Soph knew Rose was partially right. Sort of. Soph had no idea why, but Zayn had taken some sort of liking to her, be that romantic, friendly, or just out of boredom. And even though Soph refused to acknowledge it, she was an incorrigible flirt.

Which usually was fine. Flirting with Harry was a joke, a laugh. It didn’t mean anything and everybody knew that.

But with Zayn it was something else, even before Lauren and Harry’s assumptions about “their future”. Zayn being Asian, a Pakistani Muslim too, was a big problem. Soph was already two years into the marriageable age in Asian society and if she got too close to Zayn, even on a subconscious level, Soph would start imagining things. Like a wedding. She knew what she was like. Although Soph had never wanted to marry young, marriage to her meant escape from her parents, the only downside to that being unable to stay around Adam – but she liked to think her relationship with Adam was strong enough to survive that.

No. Just because Zayn and Soph looked good – not good, just nice – in a picture – not together, just with both of them in it – didn’t mean there was some divine conspiracy for her and Zayn to be eternal, long-lost loves. And Soph and Zayn certainly won’t going to get married and have bloody babies, everyone knew that.

No. Even befriending Zayn would be dangerous. The Asian Directioners were very in-tune to Zayn’s relationship status in particular, again relating to the wedding fantasy. If Soph was caught even being friends with him, even mild acquaintances, it would mean something else to the Muslim world. It just wasn’t the done thing. Nobody thought that Soph just genuinely was a carefree sort of person and enjoyed the company of males because she felt more comfortable, than with the bitchy world of jealous women.

Not that she wasn’t a feminist. Metaphorically, she’d burnt her bra years ago. Literally, she was wearing La Senza basics and it was terribly comfortable.

No, no, it was better this way. Soph knew she’d try and be friends with Zayn, openly, for Harry’s sake too, the way he was looking out for Rose. She didn’t want to – she couldn’t – disappoint him like that.

Soph found herself in an empty, desolate enclave behind the fair. She must have been in such deep thought, she’d walked more than she’d intended to.

Soph leant against a caravan with a sigh. She felt stupid now, getting all dressed up and feeling stupid wasn’t something Soph liked or was used to. What had been the point? To get back at Malik? For what? And heels, at a funfair? She was doing okay so far, but what had she and Rose been thinking? She had a pair of her trusty boots in the back of her car, maybe she could quickly go over to the car park...

“What do you think you’re doing?”

The voice was so sudden, Soph let out a small scream at the bulky figure in the shadows, standing a few feet away. Holy crap, that had scared her. Soph felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise.

“Do you know how easy it would be for somebody to jump out of this caravan and rape you?” Soph would have blanched at the bluntness, but as the speaker stepped forward, Soph was so relieved to find it was only Zayn, she slumped against the caravan, a hand on her heart. “Are you fucking insane?!”

“And are you a fucking stalker?” Soph snapped back, still not entirely recovered. “Who the Hell just jumps out at people like that?”

“Rapists!” Zayn yelled angrily. He was usually such a calm, non-confrontational person, but there was something inside of Soph that just... Changed the entire fibre of his being when he was around her. Like the Hulk or something, only Soph was a fast heartbeat. Speaking of which, Zayn could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he spoke and, going by Soph’s laboured, deep breathing to calm herself, she was having the same problem. “Jesus, Soph! And I’m not fucking stalking you, I came to make sure you were all right, because it’s so easy for you to get RAPED. And anyway, you’ve been avoiding me for the past few days!”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.” Soph said instantly, wrapping her jacket around her tightly, as the breeze flew by. “I just don’t have anything to say. And I was not going to get raped, okay, Zayn? There has to be some kind of attraction for that.”

“You’re freezing, here, take this.” Zayn muttered, handing over his leather jacket. “Just shut up and take it, Soph, for God’s sake, stop being so proud all of the time! Anybody could have come in and done something to you, do you know how many drunks are around right now?”

“Gee, thanks, way to make a girl feel good about herself!” Soph said sarcastically, feeling a pang at the way Zayn had just dismissed her, but once again feeling stupid. Urgh. She would miss the others, but what had she been thinking before? She couldn’t wait to see Zayn gone! “And do you think you could stop being all high and mighty for just a moment? You are certainly not everybody’s judge and jury! What makes you think you’re any better than them, just because you wouldn’t rape me, but would stand by smugly instead? So you could say I told you so afterwards?”

“Goddamnit, Soph!” Zayn yelled, his fist colliding with the caravan space directly beside Soph’s face. Soph didn’t flinch. Somehow she knew, no matter how aggressive or angry Zayn would become, he wouldn’t hit her, ever, no matter what. He wouldn’t. He just wouldn’t.

Zayn opened his fist and laid his other hand in a similar position, slowly and deliberately, one hand on either side of Soph’s head. Even in her heels, Zayn was towering above her.

“Personal space, Malik.” Soph told him, trying not to let his vicinity bother her, as Zayn muttered something under his breath, his eyes flashing darkly in a way Soph had never seen before. “What was that? Speak up if you have something to say, otherwise don’t say anything at all.”

“I said,” Zayn repeated, louder this time, leaning his face so much closer to Soph’s, she could feel his breath on her face. It was warm and smelt pleasantly of Coke, Soph thought to herself, somewhere in the back of her head. “What makes you think I am any different? What makes you think I won’t do just that, right here, right now?”

In fairness, neither of them knew what they were really saying. Once again, their tempers had just gotten the better of them.

“Oh, really?” Soph forced a hard laugh and leant forward, the distance between their faces – their lips – almost entirely closed. “Prove it.” Soph challenged quietly, a triumphant smirk on her face, from what she was sure would be Zayn backing down.

Zayn glowered at her from above, his eyes shifting even darker than they had before, when –

“- help!” Louis giggled, bursting out of nowhere at the side. Zayn instantly sprung away, leaving Soph leaning on the caravan for support, wondering what the Hell had just happened. “Ooh, what’s this?” Louis asked, seeing Zayn and Soph standing, almost guiltily, in the dark behind the caravan.

The other boys piled beside Louis.

“I’m just teaching Soph awareness for stranger danger.” Zayn said coldly, his eyes meeting Soph’s fleetingly for a moment. His eyes were angry. But underneath that, Soph could see the same expression she was hiding, one of utter shock, confusion and a tiny bit of nausea at how what had just happened, happened.

Soph didn’t say anything, forcing herself to only look at him defiantly. The angry expression didn’t scare her.

In fact, the other expression scared her way more than Zayn’s anger ever could.

“Come on then.” Liam said slowly, sensing the tension between Zayn and Soph and taking Soph’s hand, pulling her away. “We’re heading for the rollercoaster, coming?”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Zayn muttered, waiting until they had gone, before punching the caravan wall with all of his might. What the Hell had just happened?!

“Oi!” Somebody yelled, the window of the caravan opening. Zayn cursed and quickly walked away, shouting an apology over his shoulder as the person continued to yell. Zayn Malik, Caravan Puncher, was the last thing he needed.

As Zayn glanced at the caravan behind him, the person inside now nothing but a shadowy blur, Zayn allowed himself to panic.

Because what had just happened between him and Soph wasn’t just strange, or freaky, or abnormal.

It had him shaking.

The goodbye between Soph and the boys and Rose was a sad one. Although they’d only be gone for about two months or so and it would pass in a second for the rest of them, to Soph it felt like a lifetime.

Louis, Liam and Niall Soph managed to hug goodbye to, her eyes watering slightly as she reached Rose.

“Oh my God, I’m going to miss you, I so wish you could come!” Rose said unhappily, squeezing Soph tightly.

“Just make sure to lock the door when you and Liam are getting frisky.” Soph whispered to Rose, making her laugh loudly.

Harry was next.

Harry got her in such a huge, bear-crushing hug, that she was lifted off the ground and Soph held him so tightly, smelling his Harry smell, she thought she’d burst into tears right here. Whatever witty and irritating comment Harry had planned on telling Rose died on his tongue.

“We’ll talk.” Harry said firmly, fighting the lump in his throat as Soph nodded sadly.

“Knock ‘em dead, tiger.” Soph smiled, punching Harry lightly on the arm, before squeezing him tightly again, Harry kissing her on the cheek before joining the others in the car.

Zayn had been hauling luggage into the back, helping security, when he stood awkwardly in front of her as he waited for the others to make space. Apparently, it was taking them a while.

“You know, I should probably tell you something.” Soph said with a wry laugh. Zayn waited patiently. Soph wrinkled her nose in embarrassment. “You were my favourite, when I was a kid. I kind of had a mini-crush on you.” Soph managed a tired smile. “Guess I should thank you for stamping that out, huh?”

Zayn said nothing. It had only been a few hours ago that... That thing had happened and he didn’t trust himself to say a word.

“Have a good tour.” Soph told him sincerely, not wishing him bad on his performance. She would never do that.

Zayn nodded and got into the car, his unsaid goodbye hanging over the both of them like a bad omen.

As the car drove away, Harry, Rose and Niall’s faces pressed sadly against the glass as they waved in particular, Soph waved back with a sigh.

And as Soph waved back, Zayn watched her retreating figure in the distance in the rear-view mirror and muttered to himself;

“Goodbye, Soph.”

#mod #mod12