#modest encounters

[twistofpayne]

The epilogue to Modest Encounters is in its editing stages and it will be online tomorrow! Probably around noon EST. I know I said today, but I'm just proud of myself for getting back on the wagon. It feels good to write again. Baby steps for me. I hope you guys like the ending. :]

[briellestyles]

Modest Encounters : Chapter 10

Previous chapters

((Sorry for the long wait! I tried to make it as long as possible for all of you!)) Enjoy!

I smiled as the bus stopped behind the arena. We were finally in California which meant my agreement with modest was almost over. I was physically and emotionally exhausted from these boys. My body had been bent, held and squeezed in every possible way, almost every day.

I was more than happy to get away from Zayn. After our argument, he felt the need to stay on the other band’s bus with Harry. He knew he was wrong. He treated me poorly and led me on. I was so desperate for him at one point and I was proud of myself for coming to the realization that I would never be his.

Then there was Liam, who was still appreciative of my services but had a new girl with him. Her name is Sophia and he seems smitten. He needed me several times on the ride from Canada to here and I didn’t mind, as long as he was happy. Louis needed me less now that Eleanor would be joining us in California. As for Niall, he needed me everyday. He wanted me in the bathroom, this bunk and on the tour bus couch. Niall wasn’t like he others and never had been, he always was more gentle with me and made sure I was okay during it. Harry only needed me when he was drunk, which was quite often but hilarious.

“Liv!” Someone called and I emerged from the cave shaking my head from my thoughts. Niall stood near the bus door with 2 ice creams in his hand.

“I got you this, cause it’s a bit hot here” he smiled and I could see the sweat dripping from his face.

“Thanks Ni-” I paused as Zayn said excuse me to Niall and stepped up on the bus. He walked right past me and went to the back of the bus.

“Not talking to ya?” Niall asked as he motioned his head toward Zayn.

“It’s no big deal” I replied as he walked right past me again and exited the bus. I didn’t care that Zayn and I didn’t speak. I was actually glad, it allowed us not to try to make awkward conversation. This way we just didn’t speak and avoided all of that.

"What happened?" Niall asked and I shook my head, hinting to him that I didn’t want to talk about it. Zayn had been controlling and I didn’t want the other boys to know that. He had controlled my feelings, and that wasn’t entirely his fault but still, and my body. He had to have me when he wanted, even if I was with someone else. He made it seem like I was his property and he did what he wanted with his property. The wake up call to all of it, was seeing him and Perrie and I’m happy I came to that realization.

"We just had a falling out, It’s alright" I assured Niall and he nodded as he came in for a hug.

"If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?" He asked and I could feel his lips as he spoke against my head.

"Yeah" I lied and he nodded as he leaned down and pecked my lips. He left the bus and I headed toward the cave when I heard footsteps behind me. I whipped around to see Zayn stepping toward me, slowly.

"Hey" he said before pulling his lower lip into his mouth. His teeth sunk into his flesh and the sight was mesmerizing.

"Uh, Hi" I said, ignoring my thoughts and focusing on why he was even talking to me.

"I need to apologize" He said slowly and I shook my head.

"No need to"

"Please, let me" he sighed and I sat down on the nearest couch. "You were right. I was wrong for how I treated you and you have every right to be upset"

"Give me a minute" I said as I rubbed my forehead and sighed in awe. He was actually apologizing? Zayn Malik was swallowing his pride, for me? I couldn’t wrap my head around it but I nodded toward him as he continued.

“I’m sorry, Olivia. I really am” he said as he stood and walked toward me. There was only a few feet between us but it seemed like eternity until he was face to face with me. He leaned his face downward, just hovering over my lips. He licked his lips and his eyes met mine. I stilled, afraid that he was gonna kiss me. I was over him, I couldn’t give in. But I did, as I closed my eyes and he wrapped an arm around my waist. Our lips connected and it felt unfamiliar. I was so done with him and his ways that the kiss felt foreign. I pulled back quickly and he blinked confusingly at me.

“I can’t do this. At least not with you anymore” I said as I pushed past him and headed off the bus. I bumped right into Louis who was walking with Liam toward a car.

“Hey Olivia” he smiled and I responded with a simple hi. I was so flustered from Zayn and was still trying to calm down.

“Everything alright?” Liam asked and I nodded.

“Come with us to In and Out!” Louis exclaimed and I smiled as Niall poked his head out of the car and groaned for them to hurry. Surely, Niall would be accompanying them on this trip.

We arrived and got our food. We took a seat in the back of the restaurant and all was calm until a picture of us four surfaced on twitter. Niall’s phone chimed with a text and he told Louis to look at twitter. I wasn’t one to use social media often, but I did have a twitter and when I checked it, I was in awe. Somehow the wonderful directioners had found out my identity. I stopped eating in and looked at all the tweets about me. They dated back to the start of the tour. A quick picture of me and Lou with Harry had started it all. I was rumored to be Niall’s girlfriend because all the pictures of us. There were tons from our time in New York and I was being called ‘Amber’ back then. Then they were pictures of me standing with Lou and Eleanor on the side of the stage in Toronto.

“Liv…Liv…Olivia!” Louis shouted and I shook my head, not even realizing that he was saying my name.

“How’d they find me” I whispered as I checked my interactions. I had over 10,000 of them from young obsessed girls.

“I dont know, I dont know how any of them do it. But we’re sorry. Some of them can be vicious.” Louis said as I looked up at them, tears rimming my eyes.

“Olivia” Liam said with concern as I let the tear fall. Not one to cry in front of people, I bolted toward the bathroom. It was silent except for my soft whimpers until there was knock on the door. I stood and composed myself before opening it.

All 3 of them stood there with their eyes widened as I slipped past them and grabbed my bag from the table, leaving my meal barely touched. I went right out to the car waiting for us, ignoring the crowd by the doors. Security protected me as I slipped into the waiting car, followed by Liam, Louis then Niall.

It was peacefully quiet as we rode toward the arena where the boys would have to rehearse for 3 hours. I sniffled the whole ride and was thankful to get alone time when we got back. I got right on the bus and went into my room.

It was weird. I had dealt with so much in my life. My parents incompetence at being parents. The bullies, the daddy and mommy rehab episodes and the constant back and forth between different family members. The abuse from my mom’s “men” and my dad’s “friends”. I didn’t cry for all that but here I was crying from hate from 12-16 year old girls.

Maybe it was because there was something I wasn’t admitting that hurt me. It wouldn’t be horrible to be Niall’s girlfriend or even known as that. But maybe it hurt because they all thought I was more than I really am. Louis had said it himself before. I was a whore and I was nothing else. These girls had no idea, how far from the truth they were.

I woke up hours later and the bus was backing up. I stood up and stretched before leaving the Cave to see Niall putting some clothes into a small bag.

“Hey” he said, clearly still cautious to speak to me after earlier.

“Hi. Where are we?” I asked.

“Hotel. Get some clothes” he said and I turned on my heel and packed a medium sized bag. Knowing that we would be in L.A for a few days

I was led to the back of the hotel with Lou, Tom and Lux. Paul escorted me upstairs and asked who I wanted to stay with. I didn’t want to see Niall, he would badger me about earlier. Harry was going out which meant I’d be alone. Liam’s new girlfriend was with him which left Louis and Zayn. The obvious answer was Louis.

Paul let me in his room and he was shocked as I walked in.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked and I nodded, not in the mood to talk. I sat myself on the couch next to him and stared off into space.

"Earth to Olivia!" he said next to me and I shook my head and looked at him.

"What happened earlier?" he asked and I didn’t want to tell him. Louis was known for defending people on twitter, especially friends. Not that I considered us friends but I would like to think that I was close enough to him for that.

"Don’t worry about it" I mumbled and scooted toward me and put his finger under my chin.

"You can tell me" he said, staring straight into my eyes. This felt nice to be with Louis like this especially because of our rocky past.

"Can you kiss me?" I asked, unsure if I should make a move on him. Eleanor was his world and I didn’t know if he’d even want me anymore. It wasn’t like he needed me either.

He didn’t say a word as his lips met mine. I automatically straddled him as our kiss deepened. I moaned against his mouth as he pulled my body against his and stood. He walked with ease toward the bedroom as if I weighed nothing. He dropped me against the bed and removed his shirt before hovering over me again.

We kissed for what seemed like hours before I reached down to unbutton his pants. He stood and took them off for me and I could already see the bulge through his boxers. Louis was well endowed. Not as big as Zayn or Liam but still fairly large.

He slid off my jeans and kissed from my knee toward the apex of my thighs. He slid my underwear to the side and used his thumb to massage my clit. I moaned as he pulled them off completely and began to use his mouth.

"Holy shit Louis," I moaned as his tongue made circles.

I pulled him gently by his hair to bring his mouth to mine again. I could feel him against me through his boxers. I slid my hand down and freed him, just wanting to feel him already.

He slid into me and I cried out.

"Fuck" he groaned as he started to fuck me.

I was whimpering at the feel but my mind was also racing. Louis and I had never had an encounter like this. He never looked at me before or he usually took me from behind. But now, his lips never left mine and his hands roamed my body. It made me question what had changed but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

"Shit" he muttered as he came. The warmth from him allowed me to reach my orgasm too. I was so tired but thankful that Louis and I finally had decent sex together.

"I’m tired" he mumbled as he slid under the covers, pulling me with him.

My sleep was peaceful. Louis’ arm stayed protectively against my waist for most of the night. It was only 7 am when there was pounding at the door. The sound of the it only reminded me of one person, especially when he was angry. Zayn.

[twistofpayne]

Hey love I have been trying to find the link to modest encounters but all the links I have clicked on just goes straight to your account not the actual story

Yeahhh unfortunately I don’t think any of my pages work using the mobile app, if that’s what you’re using. :/ I think it’s easier to just use your browser and go to directionersindenial.tumblr.com/modest_encounters, and read it there. :/ Sorry tumblr’s kind of a butt with navigation issues. Let me know if you still have trouble!! 

[briellestyles]

Modest Encounters : Chapter 8

Find previous chapters here and Enjoy!

Zayn had returned that night and took me hard. He wasn't his usual slow and gentle self. The new Zayn was more dominant, more angry. He came with a low growl and collapsed next to me, falling asleep quickly. Usually, he'd hold me after,we'd talk, laugh and eventually fall asleep. together. I didn't know what had changed in him but I knew it'd get worse because the girlfriends were coming.

I slipped outside 30 minutes later, into the brisk air of Toronto. I didn't know when we got here but I knew it was much colder than New York and I didn't like it. We were at an arena, the buses were secluded by a small parking lot behind the building. I entered the first door that said "Crew" and slipped inside. I could hear laughter echoing as I walked down a long hallway. 

A door to my left was wide open and inside sat the boys plus 2 girls, I had only heard of before. Eleanor Calder looked up at me and smiled as I walked toward a coffee machine across the room.

"Olivia!" shouted Niall as he walked over to me and hugged me.

"Uh, hi Niall" I greeted as he turned towards the others and began to shout.

"El and Perrie! This is Olivia, Lou's assistant" he boomed and Perrie shot back at Niall quickly.

"Eh, quit shouting Niall!" she laughed as she rested her head on Zayn's shoulder. He watched me as I watched her, his expression was impassive but I knew he wasn't happy about something.

"I'm El" said a small voice and I turned to be face to face with the tall brunette.

"Hi, Olivia" I said awkwardly as Perrie sauntered toward us.

"How are you?" She asked and I nodded as I replied.

"Good. Thanks and I like your shirt" I added politely and she thanked me.

"So what do you do?" Eleanor asked.

"I'm an assistant" I answered.

"To who?" she cocked a brow and I immediately sensed the jealousy from her.

"To Lou" I responded, not feeling intimidated by her expression.

"Oh that's nice, she's really great" Perrie added, trying to make small talk but I could see the looks she was giving El.

"Well, I'll be on my way. Nice meeting you two" I said before almost running out of there.

It was way too uncomfortable in there for me. I could have been more polite and introduced myself but I would've probably been awkward. There's no way to introduce yourself the way I really should. "Hi, I'm Olivia and I've been fucking your boyfriends for the past few weeks, nice to meet you" I laughed to myself as I found Lou in a dressing room with Lux. She frowned when she saw me and I cocked a brow at her.

"You look pissed" she stated and I shook my head. "Nah, I'm fine" I responded sitting on a long red couch at the far end of the room.

"You sure? I'm sure things must be interesting for you" she questioned and I nodded.

"They are. But I'm fine, I'll just hang out with Harry or something while they're here" I answered as I sipped the coffee and watched Lux dance around with Lou.

Hours passed before I saw the boys again. They had a show tonight and I would be stuck sitting with Lou and the girls backstage to watch. I wasn't eager to have small talk with them, but I knew I'd have to. I had to keep up the act that I was just a modest assistant and nothing more. 

Niall spoke to me briefly before he went on and Harry shot me a thumbs up. I laughed at the gesture before taking a seat with Lou on the backstage couch. The show had already started playing on the screen in front of us when the girls walked in. Eleanor was dressed nicely in a black romper and flats. Perrie was a bit more extravagant wearing a studded shirt with spikes and a leather skirt. Perrie sat next to me and Eleanor sat with Lou.

I couldn't stop my mind from racing as I wondered if Zayn was rough with Perrie the way he has been with me lately. I wanted to ask about their relationship but I didn't want to overstep anything. I had only just met the girl and I could see her and Zayn were in love. It made me almost cringe but I held my tongue.

Only 3 hours later, we were all put in a hotel. Obviously, Eleanor stayed with Louis and Zayn stayed with Perrie in one room. I was put in a room with Niall and I was grateful. Niall kept me calm, taking my mind off of things that were bothering me.

Our night started with watching the Notebook, Niall cuddled me as I became a slobbering crying mess. Then we ordered room service. An array of cheeseburgers, fries, and deserts were delivered to our room.

We ate loudly, laughing and competing with each other for the food. Our antics were interrupted as Niall's phone pinged in his pocket. He pulled it out and laughed as he stared at the screen.

"What's so funny?" I asked curiously.

"Zayn said to keep it down" he laughed and I swallowed a lump in my throat. Zayn had been more demanding lately and I found myself listening to him often, not wanting to upset him or anything like that.

"Let's just keep it down then, okay?"

"Bullshit, let's scream" Niall laughed and I chuckled at his childishness. I was afraid Niall would actually scream though.

"Let's not" I said as jokingly as possible but Niall caught the hint of seriousness in my voice.

"Liv, he's not our boss. Why do you care what he says?" Niall asked and I didn't know how to answer. I couldn't say that Zayn intimidated or scared me because I know how Niall would react.

"You're right. Scream your head off" I laughed and he nodded as he shouted my name over and over again. I laughed but kept the thought of angry Zayn in the back of my mind. I hoped he'd be more mad at Niall than me.

The next morning was refreshing. I awoke to a very horny Niall who had me screaming before 9 am. We got dressed together and met everyone else downstairs by noon. Breakfast was being served buffet style in a small room near the lobby and everyone was there and seated randomly around the room. Perrie was seated with Zayn, Louis with Eleanor, Harry with Liam and Lou sat with some of the crew. Niall and I sat at a table and I widened my eyes at the mountain of food on his plate.

Halfway through our meal, Niall wiped my cheek with his hand. The whip cream from my Belgian waffle seemed to have missed my mouth. I thanked him but couldn't help but notice the glare from Zayn as he watched me and Niall. His fists were clenched under his table as Perrie babbled in his ear about something. His jaw was tight and his eyes were narrow. I had never seen him like that and the look scared me.

The boys had an interview and I had to go with them and Lou to keep up the act. Perrie and El were going shopping and I was grateful to not have them around. Maybe the boys wouldn't be so uptight.

We arrived at the studio and immediately started with Hair. I still wasn't able to do Harry or Zayn's hair but I could do their makeup. They didn't were much, just powder here and there to control shine. I did it on Zayn first while Lou did Harry's hair in the other room.

"Where did you sleep last night?" he asked randomly and I was taken back by his question.

"Niall's room"

"You two were quite loud. What were you doing?" he asked as he looked up at me and furrowed his brows. I stared at him before answering, wondering why all these questions mattered.

"Just hanging out" I answered nonchalantly but he wasn't having any of that.

"It was really loud for hanging out Olivia"

"Oh okay, what were you and Perrie doing?" I asked, my voice going up a few octaves. I was getting pissed off.

"None of your damn business" he spat as he stood up but I wasn't done.

"What Niall and I do is none of yours then either" I shouted and he scoffed.

"It is, If I say so"

"No, It isn't! You can't bring your girlfriend here and still control me, it doesn't work like that! You and I both know my job so quit acting like you fucking own me" His fists clenched as I finished yelling and he left the room with a swift slam of the heavy door. I sunk back into the chair and sighed, wanting to have told him that since he started his nonsense. I was done being treated like a pet by Zayn. My job was to "take care" of all of the boys, not just him. I silently vowed to myself that I wouldn't be taking care of Zayn anytime soon, no matter what it cost me.

[twistofpayne]

when is modest encounters going to be posted, like if I come on tomorrow will it be up?

Oh shit, it’s up now but I forgot to update the page! Here you go. :]

[twistofpayne]

Hey guys, I fucked up and skipped a part of Modest Encounters: Chapter Five so I just now added it back in. I somehow forgot to paste in an entire scene that I wrote, weird... anyway it's fixed now if you want to re-read; the added part is about two-thirds of the way through.

[twistofpayne]

Modest Encounters: Chapter Four

N.B. This is Brielle's chapter but she's sleeping on the ground for a week until she meets 1D in NYC so I'm posting it for her. :D Brielle, we love you and hate you because we're all jealous. :P

Table of Contents

Over the next few days I had a lot of sex. Harry and Zayn seemed to use me a lot. I assumed Liam wouldn’t come to me unless he truly needed me, which I understood. Niall wanted to talk more than have sex and I was thankful for that. Louis didn’t seem to use me a lot, although some nights I could hear the telltale sound of him pleasuring himself. The guilt must rip through him, having me here whilst having a girlfriend. Zayn didn’t seem to worry about me and he had Perrie.

I had gotten into the habit of helping Lou out and accompanying her to watch the boys. Their concerts were to die for. They were energetic, loud and hilarious. Lou and I spoke a lot, getting to know each other quickly. She always spoke of Lux and how well the boys were with her. I had noticed from the constant pictures of Lux with the boys.

I would always arrive to the bus first, waiting to see if any of them would need me. Sometimes, Zayn would come back, take me into the Cave and we’d be done before the boys returned. I didn’t mind the quickies but I was sure the boys wouldn’t mind if they heard us. I had grown fond of Zayn. His confidence was like no other. In public, he was mysterious, reserved, and really quiet. He was an observer, always observing people before speaking to them. Then in the bed, he was vocal and rough. I enjoyed seeing the change, how he could change his personality in minutes.

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard footsteps on the bus. I stood up from my bed and found Louis standing in the lounge area.

"There you are, let’s make this quick" he muttered as he unbuttoned his pants and slid them down. I mumbled an ‘Okay’ as I slipped off my shorts and underwear. He grabbed me and bent me over the couch, and it wasn’t gently. He took me from behind, barely touching me or looking at me. I could tell he hated this but he needed it. He always came with a grunt and then he’d be gone. Leaving me to clean myself and get dressed alone.

My mornings usually consisted of one of the boys coming in my room. Today was different and I was a bit thankful, still feeling sore from Louis’ last night. I tried to get as much sleep as possible but the growling of my stomach and the urge to pee, made me get up.

"Hey Liv" Niall smiled as I stepped out of the bathroom. I nodded at him, grinning at the nickname he had given me days ago. Niall was dressed and stepped off the bus leaving the other boys on the couch. I wondered where he was going but didn’t dwell on it.

I said hello to the rest of the boys, receiving responses from them all except Louis. I didn’t understand him, why use me if you’d feel like shit and be an ass the next day? I settled on eating pop tarts, and sitting next to Liam on one of the couches.

Once I finished my makeshift breakfast, I stood and quickly darted past the T.V to head to my room. Harry’s voiced stopped me as I passed him on the couch.

"Are you busy now?" he asked with a smirk on his lips. I smiled and shook my head at how he didn’t care who was around.

"Not at all" I responded, staring at him. He nodded and began to stand when a scoff from across the room diverted his attention.

"You’re using the whore?" Louis spat and I looked at him to see who he was talking to. Surely, his eyes were fixed on Harry. He glanced at me and the look of disgust was intense. I could feel the tears prick my eyes and I wouldn’t dare let them see me cry. I turned and bolted for the bathroom, sliding open the door and locking it as I closed it. I could hear shouting but the noise was canceled out by my sniffles and low sobs.

It shouldn’t have hurt but it did. The look in his eyes, assured me that he truly meant it and that’s what hurt the most. How could he hate me so much? I hadn’t done anything to him. When we first met, he was funny and kind to me, why the sudden change?

As a knock at the door came, so did realization. Louis hated himself because of Eleanor. He hated that he needed me so being an ass was the best way to cover that. I slid open the door to reveal Zayn, he looked so effortlessly cool even in pajamas.

"You alright?" he asked and I shrugged and nodded. I’d eventually get over Louis’ harsh words.

"He’s just being a dick" he muttered and I nodded as I felt the tears threaten again. Fuck, what was wrong with me? Maybe it all hit me at once again. The flashbacks of my mother’s men invaded my mind.

"You’re a no good whore like your mom"

"You’ll be just like her"

All of those thoughts came back and I couldn’t help but cry. Zayn pulled me into his arms and led me toward my room. He closed the curtain behind him as he pulled back my covers and climbed in my bed, pulling me with him. He held me tightly, shushing me and petting my hair.

"You’re good now?" he asked as I stopped crying and I nodded.

"Besides, you’re too classy to be a whore" he smiled and I scowled at him before we both started laughing. He was kind, kind enough to hold me and caress me for almost an hour.

I had grown fond of him, and I wanted him more than anything. I pushed thoughts of his girlfriend to the back of my mind whenever I thought about him. I found myself fantasizing about him being with me. It seemed a bit crazy but my attraction was vehement.

"Thank you" I smiled as I kissed his lips softly, a bold move on my part.

"Just ignore Louis" he responded and I nodded as I nuzzled against him once more. Inhaling him as his hands circled my back.

Niall returned around 8pm that night. The first thing he did was come to my room and say hi. I smiled at him, not bothering to talk but he wouldn’t take that. He walked into my room and took a seat next to me on my bed.

"What’s wrong?" He asked and I sighed before telling him of this morning. As I finished, Niall looked at me before getting up.

"Where are you going?" I asked and he scoffed.

"Going to say something to Louis, he doesn’t get off talking about girls like that, especially you"

"Niall don’t say anything" I asked but he shook his head as he slipped past my curtain. I shot up, and grabbed him as he headed for the lounge.

"Please, I’ll handle it" I spoke softly, still preparing myself to confront Louis.

"Fine" he retreated and I was thankful for him listening to me. Niall walked back off the bus, clearly being angry and needing time. I was happy to have people like Zayn and him to defend me. I was hopeful that Liam and Harry had said something.

I found Louis in his bunk, typing on his phone. I peeled back his curtain and he laughed as he glanced at me.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Look, I get it. Being away from Eleanor is hard on you but you don’t have to be a dick about it. You and I can have a professional relationship about this, so you can shut up. Modest wants me happy because you know that I have things on you boys that could ruin one directions reputation. So skip the colloquialisms and keep your comments to yourself."

I should’ve waited for him to say something but my blood was boiling. I closed his curtain back and retreated to my room. I couldn’t understand disliking me, whilst needing me. Even though he didn’t touch me or barely looked at me during sex, it was still sex. Whether he liked it or not, I was still going to be here and he couldn't afford fuck me over.

[twistofpayne]

Modest Encounters: Chapter Three

Brielle posted this earlier but I wanted it on my blog too. :P

Table of Contents

smut warning

I woke before anyone else, not because I was particularly prone to waking up early, but because the boys were obviously constantly exhausted from the rigors of the tour. Based on what I had seen yesterday, they weren’t likely to wake up more than five minutes before they were supposed to be at the next meet and greet. Niall was passed out beside me, so I carefully stepped over him, grabbing shorts and a tank top to put on before heading to the cabinets to find some breakfast.

Niall was the first one up. I watched him emerge from the curtain of the Cave and approach me at the table that folded out from the wall. He was staggering slightly from lack of sleep and he hovered awkwardly in the kitchen area before sitting down.

Just as I feared--he was going to make it uncomfortable. I couldn’t fault him, because I doubted Modest had used anyone like me before, but I was just hoping to get the awkward first-time feelings out of the way as soon as possible. I told myself it would get easier once I was around the boys more and they grew accustomed to my presence.

“Poptart?” I asked, pushing the blue box towards him.

He let out an exhale, as if he’d been holding his breath, and smiled. “Yeah, thanks.” He pulled out one pack and unwrapped it. “These are hard to find in Ireland,” he told me. “So I tell them to stock up when we’re in America.”

“Really? That sucks,” I said, pleased at the safety of this conversation topic. “They were a staple for me, growing up.”

“Yeah. Me brother loves them, too. I post him all the kinds you have here that we don’t.”

I wondered if anyone in my family would be willing to ship Poptarts across the Atlantic Ocean for me. I doubted it. But I forgot to answer for just long enough that the silence slid into awkwardness again.

I tried to glance out the window, but we were somewhere between Nashville and Atlanta where it was rural enough that there was nothing to look at out the window other than trees punctuated by farm fields. I knew America must look huge to the boys, being from relatively small islands, but even I was impressed at the expanse that we rolled through. L.A. had hills, had trees, had the Pacific Ocean, but it was hard to find a place like this, where you couldn’t see a person for miles, and the only residences were farmhouses few and far between.

I turned back to the table to catch Niall watching me, and I felt myself flush, then wondered if he wanted me back in the Cave for a morning fuck. Luckily, Zayn chose that moment to roll out of his bunk, stumbling slightly as the bus shuddered with speed. He collapsed into the chair beside me, running his hand through his hair and shaking out the sleep.

“Morning,” I said carefully, trying not to study Zayn’s bare chest too conspicuously. Of all the boys, I had always been most attracted to Zayn, because of his physical distinction from the other boys. His skin was darker, his eyes seemed more somber, and he carried himself differently. He looked the exact opposite of the stereotypical British pop star. Not to mention the objective beauty of his body and his face.

Zayn was much more casual with me, or maybe it was because Niall was already there. “We’re out of coffee,” he said in a defeated voice that made me unable to suppress a smile.

“There’s Red Bull in the fridge if you need it,” Niall offered, but Zayn shook his head.

“I can’t drink that right when I wake up. We need to stop somewhere.”

So, half and hour and two starstruck Dunkin Donuts employees later, Niall, Zayn and I sat on one of the leather couches, cupping styrofoam containers full of scalding coffee.

“So. Did you two have a nice time last night?” Zayn said, his amber eyes smirking over the lid of his cup.

I felt myself flush, recalling the footsteps we had heard last night, just as we were finishing. “That was you skulking around?” I asked.

Zayn nodded, still smiling. “Niall wins the ‘first’ award, I guess.”

Niall was blushing, as well, but trying to play it off. “Sorry I couldn’t keep her quiet.”

“And that’s even with your tiny dick. Just wait ‘til she gets mine,” Zayn joked.

I grinned, trying to mentally knead out the knot in my stomach. This was why I was here. Sex, with all of them. This could be fun. It would get easier. I just had to relax and enjoy it.

“Bullshit. Perrie told me all about your little problem,” Niall retorted. “They have pills for that.”

Zayn’s eyes flashed, not with aggression, but with confidence. “Oh, yeah? Just for that, I’ll have Olivia tell you all about my ‘problem’ tomorrow morning. Or all night, when she’s screaming my name.”

Niall and I laughed, but I felt a thrill of anxiety and disquiet. I assumed there would be some amount of competition, given my experience with libidinous young men, but experiencing it was something else. I hoped this wouldn’t cause conflict between the boys. Surely there would be enough of me to go around.

At the same time, the jab at Perrie also gave me pause. I assumed that both Perrie and Elounor were in the dark as to my real position. In any case, if I met them, I would be careful not to give anything away. I was here to avoid relationship drama, not start it.

However, I was slightly surprised at Zayn’s apparent disregard for monogamy with Perrie. Then again, he could just be saying that, for Niall’s sake. I would find out tonight. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to experience sex with Zayn Malik.

The Atlanta concert wasn’t for another day, so I spent the next twenty-four hours learning more about the boys, just from observing them. And, of course, from fucking them.

They boys had a relatively relaxing day, playing videogames and getting ready for their Skype with Jimmy Kimmel. It was fun watching their dynamics--just as I’d read about, but ten times better watching it unfold live. I was still an outsider; I hovered on the edge and laughed at the right moments, and interjected at the right moments, but it was clear that they were still uncomfortable with my presence. That was fine. It would get better. I was relieved when night fell and the boys left for the Skype, so that I could relax in the Cave.

I heard them return around ten, and it was clear from their conversations that they were planning to stay up and hang out some more while Harry and Niall went off to a club.

Louis came in to the Cave around eleven, to my surprise. He was so defensive about his relationship with Eleanor that I was curious as to if he would use me or not. He told me to stay quiet while he fucked me harshly from behind. I could feel the disgust radiating from his body. He was too easy to read--horny, but unwilling to forgive himself from the guilt as he fucked another woman. Eleanor was a lucky girl, I thought as I fought back the moans. And Louis, poor Louis. Torn every which way but unwilling to give up his essence.

Louis didn’t wait for me to finish--not that I expected him to, not with Eleanor watching us in his mind’s eye. He came with a low moan inside me, his fingers tangled in my hair. Then he pulled out, buttoning up the trousers he hadn’t even bothered to take off, before dragging himself out of the Cave.

Liam came in, early in the morning, and he was gentler than Louis. He caressed my breasts as he opened my legs, then slid his hands down my bare skin until he began rubbing his wide thumb against my clit. I moaned quietly as he worked his fingers up and down my entrance, before leaning forward and resting his hands on either side of my head. He slid inside me and I gasped at his length, making him wait for several moments while I adjusted.

He didn’t tell me to be quiet, but I tried to keep my moans to a minimum as much as possible. The boys already got by on less sleep than they needed; they didn’t need me interrupting them. Still, it was hard to get fucked by Liam and not wail with pleasure at every buck of his hips. The orgasm he gave me was tremendous, releasing the feelings I’d pent up since Louis had entered earlier that evening. I watched his face contort with his orgasm, and he ejaculated with a low moan that turned into a long whisper of one word: “Danielle.” He tried to cover it up with his breathing, but nothing spoke louder than whispers in the dark. I didn’t mind. He’d been with her a long time, and the breakup was recent. I raised my hand to his cheek. “It’s okay.”

It was inane, and I shouldn’t have said it, but he closed his eyes, pushed himself off of me, and left.

Two in one night was plenty to exhaust me enough to fall asleep immediately. I woke up around six, when the sunlight was just peeking through the curtains, to the crashing sound of Harry and Niall returning, completely wasted.

Harry, apparently, was a horny drunk. He stumbled into the Cave, already half-undressed and reeking of alcohol. “You ready for this?” he slurred, his eyes roaming up and down my naked body as he struggled with his belt. “Hope you like it rough.”

I couldn’t help but grin at his drunken helplessness combined with arrogance. I tugged his belt off for him, yanking down the tight jeans he’d been wearing.

“Fuck, Harry, you’re huge,” I told him, and he smirked.

“Then suck it.”

I lowered my mouth over the shaft, going as slow as I could manage but still move. I knew it would drive Harry mad, and I was right.

“I said suck it.” His hands worked into my hair and he pushed my mouth against his erection. I gagged as the tip hit the back of my throat, and Harry relaxed enough to let me slide off and breathe again. I began sliding my mouth up and down the shaft, keeping my gaze on Harry’s downturned face. His eyes were unfocused but he shuddered with pleasure, now stroking my hair back from my face.

“I don’ wanna finish yet,” he mumbled after only a few minutes. He pushed me onto my back, falling after me and, with surprising delicacy given how drunk he was, thrust his cock inside me.

He didn’t want to finish, but he came within a few minutes of fucking me, anyway. His moan was low, extended, one long stream of air that hissed from his mouth until he collapsed, face down, beside me.

He was over six feet tall; I couldn’t move him very well, but I rolled him onto his side so that in case he was that drunk, he wouldn’t choke on his own puke. I sincerely hoped he wouldn’t, but then again, my sheets needed changing anyway.

Harry’s body warmed the Cave and I soon fell asleep, a sheet wrapped around my naked body.

I woke again to the curtain being tugged back, blinding me with brightness. I grabbed the sheet to protect myself, blinking awake. Zayn was standing there, another smirk on his face. “Paul needs Harry,” he said, nodding at Harry’s supine figure curling to fit on the mattress.

“You wake him up,” I told Zayn, sliding back a little so he could reach Harry. “I could only roll him over. He’s too big.” I grabbed a top and began to put my arms into the sleeves to cover myself up, but Zayn stopped me.

“Don’t put that on just yet,” he said, now giving me a look.

I stared, the feeling in my gut multiplying with excitement. “Okay,” I said. Shit. I should have said something more seductive.

Zayn managed to extricate Harry and wake him up with a glass of water to the face. Harry wasn’t in a good mood, but he knew he had hell to pay if he was late. He staggered around getting dressed for several minutes before he hurried out of the bus, leaving it empty apart from Zayn and me.

“They don’t need you?” I asked Zayn as he crawled into the Cave.

“Not for a while.” He tugged off the sweatpants he was wearing. I stared at his erection as it sprung forth, feeling myself tighten with arousal. I was finally going to fuck Zayn Malik.

It was obvious to me that Zayn, although he appeared insecure when in public, possessed a confidence in the bedroom that the other boys lacked, or at least from my initial encounters with them. Like Liam, he worked my clit with his hands, followed by his tongue, until I was sweating, soaking wet with need, and begging for his cock.

He finally gave it to me, thrusting with his powerful hips as I stared up at his chest tattoos, moving gently with each rocking motion of his body. He leaned over me, pinning my wrists down near my head so that I couldn’t touch him anywhere but where he was fucking me.

I wanted him to say something to me. Something about what a good fuck I was, or how hot I was, or just something that made him consciously realize that it was me, Olivia, that he was fucking, not just anyone. I had only known him for two days, but I wanted to make an impression. I wanted him to LIKE fucking me, and I wanted to know that he liked it.

But he gave me nothing, except for an explosive orgasm that ripped through my body, and a low moan from his own mouth, followed by the warmth of his ejaculate seeping out of me.

Then, he gave me a long look.

Then, a small smile.

Then, he left, and I was left trembling on the bed, wanting nothing more than a long bath and another fuck from Zayn Malik.