I am at peace. I think its an open ended sentence. Theres an ache in my heart that cant be remove but today, when i woke up, i just said, "Ayoko na."
Ive been drinking non stop since the break up. Meeting with random friends and people. People i couldnt meet or hangout with because you didnt like them. Magiisang buwan na yung break up, imagine all the days that passed and how many beers ive drank just to distract myself from the pain.
Kinausap ako ng friends mo. One in particular told me babalikan mo ko. Ayoko na. Ive already wrote this letter to you. I already said good bye in it. Also, told you the things i needed you to hear. Things you never understood.
Anyway, i want to let go now. Bitaw na ko sa sakit. Umiyak na ko, nagwalwal na, naglandi narin. Pero di ko na kayang lumagpas pa don. All the firsts are good experiences. I think ive done enough firsts. Eto na, stage three, silence. Ayoko ng isipin ka. Ayokong may magremind nanaman sakin sayo. Starting today, i will act like i have never met you.
My first two stages were easy to do, decluttering was easy, buti nga wala ko sinunog or tinapon. Change was easy as well, glasses and phone, choosing to be more happy. Pero of course, consistency is key kaya eto. Naglalabas nalang ng last few thoughts to just let go and let fall.
Mahal pa rin kita. No doubt, half of my heart would accept you again in a heart beat. Never again though. In any given chance we cross paths again, i would look into your eyes and say, "Really?"
I dont know you anymore. I dont know myself either. Its all because of you but then again, ive learned to mellow out too.
Mok, namimiss kita. Yung ilang mong tingin kapag tinitigan kita, yung tawa at ngiti mo sa mga lambing ko sayo, kahit yung hinga mong kakaiba kapag hinahalikan mo noo ko. These are my favorite memories of you and now, im letting it go and giving it back to you. I want you to be happy. Bigay mo toh sa bago mong girlfriend, sa nagpapasaya sayo ngyn, sa taong pinalit mo sakin. Ok lang. Ayoko narin kasi. Ayoko ng lokohin sarili ko so i just want this gone.
Wag mong kakalimutan na minahal kita ha. Pero sana din, sana lang. Wag ka ng pumasok sa buhay.
Eto na, paalam minamahal kong Mokong. Goodbye.
