A Letter to My Post-Baby Body
Dear Body - mighty creation that you are,
It has been a great deal of time since I've looked at you with eyes of appreciation, bid you a job well done, or proudly swooned over all you do. We share each experience together. Our eyes see the same sights. We even get flustered over the exact same things. I'd say, you and I .... well .... you and I used to be close buddies.
This morning we awoke in the presence of two small humans, that were once inside us, laying on the place in which they used to call home. The oldest is oddly obsessed with her previous uterus home. She points at what was once our belly button and proudly states that she came from right inside there. All awhile the youngest one is currently using us as his built in trough and is profusely smacking his hand on our chest. This morning was not much different than previous ones; maybe slightly less whining and more rambling toddler questions, but none the less, much the same. That is until the oldest sat up to take note of our loose, giggly, stretch mark ridden skin. Placing her tiny hands on our stomach she looks up and says "this is your skin Momma. It has marks on it. It's really pretty! This is all your skin, Momma, (moving her hands in a circle) and it is all pretty!"
Admittedly, at first thought, we think 'thanks,kid, for pointing out those marks', failing to realize the truth behind what was really spoken: "This is YOUR skin Momma and it is ALL PRETTY".
You know, body, she's right! She knows nothing of who we used to be or what our skin looked like before our stretch marks had stretch marks. She knows nothing of the times we felt a sense of pride to wear a pretty dress that graced the top of our knees without fear of feeling as though we should not show our legs. She knows nothing of the times we could look at our-self in the mirror and not think about how we aught to change its appearance. She is simply stating a truth. A very wise truth and fact of our life, that is.
It is ALL PRETTY! We are beautifully ridden with marks of life. Scars on our knees from sports injuries, internally healed wounds from life's struggles and most notably, the flame-like ridges that are left behind from the expansion of our body to grow a life within it. Our eyes have lost sight of the beauty we behold for our body that is truly an incredible creation. We have looked past the fact that we see visions of the world everyday that we take for granted. We get to feel sunshine on our skin and the breeze in our hair. We have experienced the feeling of a new life squirming around inside and the intensity it takes to birth a human body. Simply, we get to feel all that life is and all that it brings. That is real beauty.
I make a vow to you, body of mine, to recognize the incredible creation that you are and all that comes along with it. I vow to teach my children that our bodies are not simply what is viewed on the exterior but are to be valued for how meticulously it all functions. I vow to realize that our shape and marks are uniquely our own and no one else's. I vow to look at you with admiration for all that you are and all that you will be. I vow to love you, pretty marks and all.
So, body, as we find our self trying on clothes that were from our pre-baby days, we surely feel a sense of victory. And although those feelings are followed by dreams of what we could look like, those feelings are quickly replaced with thoughts of who we really are. We are beautiful. We are creative and intelligent. We are a powerful woman who carries many titles and wears many hats. We are us, and us only.
When the time comes, body of mine, that we change once again I will embrace it. By the grace of God we were able to grow life within us, and I surely hope we are blessed again with the opportunity to feel our body change for a new life. I am proud that the little girl who once knew what my heart sounded like from the inside, now sees beauty from the outside through pure uninhibited vision. And when I become weary of the body we call ours, I will remind myself that I am proud of you, for the shape you hold and all you have allowed me to be.
Let's celebrate sometime, body! Let us do a dance in our honor. Maybe a little hip shakin', dance like a fool, self lovin' time. Sound good, beautiful lady? See you in the mirror, body. And don't forget to say Hello. You're pretty damn awesome!
Love,
- A Learning Lady -