#moneycabui

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I feel like

I'm on a cloud. So soft. So relaxing. So peaceful.

(:

Yoga music while high. Feels good. Clear minded. 

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I bent down and hugged

my little baby boo boo. And he hugged me back, kissed me on the cheeks, and smiled. IT WAS THE CUTESTTTTTT THING EVERR!!

Babies always warm me up inside. They're ALL soooo cute. And when and IF I get to that stage in life, I will cherish the moment. I will love my babyyyy like noooo other. Possibly more than my husband. Aha jk idk yet. Even if I adopt my baby. 

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I need to ask myself

Why I'm even doing this. Why am I putting myself in the position of vulnerability?

It's not closure...no I already got that. So why am I going through with this? Are there even chances of a positive outcome? Why am I putting myself in an uncomfortable position? I KNoW how I am in those situations... I know perfectly well how much I HATE CONFRONTATION... And the possibility of it triggering my anxiety.....

Been busy all day but these thoughts are finally catching up to me. 

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Something just doesn't feel right. Doesn't click

And I don't want to wait to find out but I have no choice. Tooooooo many possibilities resulting in way too many thoughts. I'd love to be optimistic about the situation but having a mind like mine... And previous experiences... I don't even know... I hope this decision wasn't another mistake. Maybe it really was better to leave things the way they were sighhhh I don't even know anymore. And I HATE the unknown

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New flavor (: hope it tastes goooooood

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Home made carbs with extra of my FAVS (: Cheese and basil #nofilter