Jun 23, 2025
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this has 100% been done before
hello everyone enjoying hail mary project. if you enjoy difficult decisions being made in space for excruciatingly human reasons, and themes of genuine connection between individuals who are the only hope the other has, then please consider listening to acclaimed podcast wolf 359
I let myself go ALL OUT now.
I don’t like describing stuff. I don’t like talking about ANYTHING OTHER THAN THOUGHTS!
So my chapter now is ALL MONOLOGUE!
ALL STRAIGHT UP MONOLOGUE!
Nothing but monologue!
From the 1st person perspective too!!
HELL YEAH!
My favourite thing! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
The art of the pivot or "when life gives you lemons" monologue as performed by Roderick Usher - The Fall of the House of Usher, episode 3 "Murder in the Rue Morgue"
"One thing I tried to teach them, the art of the pivot. When life hands you lemons... first you roll out a multimedia campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a... A media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say "I love you," the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won't have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the "o".
You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. Timothée Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn't cool or tight or awesome, no, it's lemon. Did you see that movie? Did you go to that concert? It was effing lemon. Billie Eilish, OMG, hashtag... lemon. You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins 'cause there is nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes lemons look just a little more like tits and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon dna sequence, you cross pollinate, you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmers for copyright infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land.
Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you're done, and you've sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then and only then, you make some fucking lemonade."
I have pre-prepared speech for if a mortal ever were to ask me what my ultimate goal is; my “Evil Plan,” per se. It goes like this:
“What do I want? That is a very good question. This may be unseemly, but let me answer that question with another question. What do you desire? Tell me your deepest, most core want in this uncaring world. Do not speak aloud, you do not have permission. But, I think I know what you have thought.
You either said Love, Money, Power, or Happiness. Those, all are variants of one base, primal desire. The desire to be fulfilled. They all fill a hole in your heart that nothing else can, don’t they? There are many things like this, but let me ask you another question: what is the most base, primal form of even that?
Hunger. Starvation. The one thing that could make a man claw their own daughter apart with their bare hands. Every Human, every Elf, everyone has this feeling. That feeling is me.
The Void. You have a piece of me, lodged deep inside of your stomach, needing to be fed. But that urge is not just a product of the material itself, but a reflection of how I feel every second of every minute of every day of every year of every EON of my eternal life.
All the hunger that you will ever feel in your life, ever felt by any living thing ever, is not just because of me, it is mine. So what do I want? The same thing as you.
To be full.”
society if bigtop burger was more popular than hazbin hotel
so i caught a rat at work yesterday