Hey! I saw your post where you said you have anxiety and guilt issues when it comes to reblogging donation posts, and I was wondering if you had any tips on how to cope with it? It’s something I struggle with too and I had no idea it happened to other people! Also please don’t feel pressured to answer, I can always talk to my therapist, I was just interested in hearing from someone who also experiences it. I hope you’re having a good day! 💙
Hi! It definitely happens to other people I know, and I’m sorry you struggle with this too!
I wish I had more tips than I do, tbh, but one thing that helps me a lot is having a pre-written reply for when people DM me asking to reblog donation posts. Like so: “Hi, I’m glad you reached out! Unfortunately, donation posts make me feel increased guilt and for that reason, I would rather not reblog it. I hope you understand, and I wish you the best of luck ❤"
That way, you don’t have to put yourself through typing a reply every time, which can be distressing. And yes, I’m aware I don’t owe anyone the personal information I include in that sample reply, but... anxiety be like that, sometimes, and it tells me that if I don’t give them an explanation I’m a horrible person, and I spiral, which is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. Of course, everyone is different, so if you’re scared of getting DMs like this I really recommend writing your own sample reply on your phone notes or somewhere else handy where you can copy and paste it :)
This also applies to asks, though depending on my mood and mental stability I might just not reply to those; especially if they’re anon. It’s easier for me to ignore asks because Tumblr has a tendency to eat asks anyway, so I can always tell myself the person probably thought I didn’t receive it, or just forgot about it after a while because they can’t see it sitting there, unlike with DMs.
As for seeing the posts on my dash, I have blacklisted the tag #donations, which a lot of people use for donation posts. I’ve also blacklisted #guilt tripping, even though that doesn’t usually help XD but hey, there’s always the possibility that someone will tag a guilt-tripping post as such someday and spare me the anxiety attack, so why not!
Also, if the same donation post is crossing your dash again and again and it’s not properly tagged for you to blacklist its tags, you can always block the OP of the post! That way you won’t see their original posts on your dash even if someone you follow reblogs them 😎
And, lastly, even though this applies mostly to other types of Tumblr posts that aren’t donation posts: if someone I follow consistently reblogs posts that have additions of the likes of “if you can’t reblog this unfollow me” or “I don’t care what your blog aesthetic is, you need to reblog this” or “X group of people won’t reblog this post because they just don’t care”, I’ll unfollow them. Like, I’m sorry, but I don’t have the time or the energy to keep reminding myself that I’m not a horrible person for not reblogging random stuff to my blog in my free time. Some people come to Tumblr to evade themselves from the world’s problems, or at least from some of them, and we don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why we don’t reblog something even though we agree with it. I wish more people understood this.
I hope some of this helps! Please remember that you never, under any circumstances HAVE TO reblog or reply to a single thing that makes you uncomfortable and that having a sample reply is something that helps me, personally, but if you’d rather delete those DMs as soon as you see them so you never have to think about them again, that is absolutely valid. You are allowed to set your boundaries and tell yourself “no, my boundary is THIS and I’m not letting this post step over it”. And you definitely never, ever owe anyone money just because they’re struggling!
