You ever think about how Gojo Satoru was complicit in his own dehumanization by upholding the status quo when he knew that he could easily be the harbinger of a forced and dramatic change in how jujutsu society was structured but instead chose to take the slow and steady path knowing that he might not ever be able to see the fruits of his labour
And do you ever think about how he was able to do that for so long because of his position within the society as The Strongest and he used the fear that came from that title as a weapon to keep others in line and then when he was gone the people who were kept in line by the fear of him were finally able to act without any guardrails keeping them from overstepping their boundaries because Gojo Satoru was that guardrail and once he was removed there was nothing to stop the higher ups or kenjaku from doing whatever the hell they wanted
You ever think about how a society held in check by the power of one man can crumble as soon as that one man leaves?
Sam Winchester and the incorporation of the word “freak” into his self-concept
In Supernatural, the word “freak” is used to describe monsters. It is the divide between the hunters and the things they hunt. A freak is thus thought to be a supernatural being – dangerous and unnatural. Being a freak has a connotation of “otherness” but has also been linked to “evil” or “monster”.
Our self-concept consists of cognitive schemas in which we organise our past experiences and new information we encounter. This sets the basis for the way we construct who we are, and how we describe ourselves. I want to explore Sam’s incorporation of the word “freak” into his self-concept, and how it has shaped him throughout the years.
Sam has felt like a freak since he was a child, not fitting in anywhere in the normal world. This is often explained as a consequence of being raised as a hunter, but we also know that Sam didn’t feel normal as a kid. When he was a kid, he saw a picture of Sir Galahad kneeling with light streaming on his face, and he thought “I could never go on a quest like that because I’m not clean.” Maybe he knew deep down as a child that he had demon blood in him, and the evil of it, and that he wasn’t pure [8x21]. He doesn’t feel normal at home either, where he stands out because he wants a normal life instead of the hunting life like John and Dean.
Identifying with the word “freak”
Although we know Sam has felt like a freak in his childhood, the first time the word hits him specifically post-Stanford is in season 2 when he is getting psychic visions. Dean calls him a “supernatural freak” [2x05]. Sam’s immediate reaction is:
And he says, “So I’m a freak now?”
At the end of the season, he finds out that he has demon blood in his system, which strengthens the feeling of being different in an evil and unclean way. The label of freak is strengthened. He is the only one who knows about the demon blood, but his psychic visions are enough to alienate him from others. Gordon and Kubrik want to hunt him in season 3, and Kubrik even says: “You’re some kind of weirdo freak”
Although Sam feels different and identifies more with the word, he doesn’t call himself a freak. It is a sore point for him, but in season 4 when Dean comes back from hell and finds out Sam has been drinking demon blood, his brother’s view of him makes him falter. He has been feeling like a freak, but he has been trying his best to make the best out of it. Dean coming back and reprimanding him with a distasteful look hits Sam hard and he starts to see how drinking demon blood has caused him to further become a freak. Dean has been on his side since everybody else started calling him a freak, but now it’s very clear from the way Dean looks at him – “like I’m some kind of freak” [4x04]. Although he’s pointing out that his brother is alienating him, that is exactly how Sam feels about himself now. He talks about the demon blood in his veins like it’s a disease in him.
And that because of this, he’s “a whole new level of freak”. He now explicitly self-identifies with the word.
As season 4 continues, Sam fears that Dean will call him a monster (so much so that he hallucinates that Dean does). His fears are confirmed when Dean says that if he didn’t know him, he would hunt him. The lines of hunter and hunted have now disintegrated. What Dean has been implying for so long is now out: Sam is a freak; he is a monster. And his following words are clear enough, “it means you’re a monster, Sammy” [4x21]. This solidifies Sam’s belief that he is one, and that being a freak = being a monster. Yet, he holds on to hope, just as he has from season 1 – that maybe he can be saved. Maybe the more people he saves, the more ‘good’ he can be. And saving everyone from the apocalypse must be the best thing he can do, right? He is a freak – but there is hope that maybe he isn’t a freak, or that maybe he is a freak for a reason, and that he can therefore do good. Maybe he can prove that a freak can be good and that this word does not define him.
And so he rushes to kill Lilith, but he is still unsure, the guilt of fighting with his brother heavy on his shoulder. But when he listens to the tweaked voicemail, in which ‘Dean’ calls him a monster and a “bloodsucking freak”, he is heart-broken, and all hope is lost. He trudges on to kill Lilith because although he believes himself to be a freak and a monster now, he still carries the thought that maybe he can prove himself different. Dean arrives and Sam becomes ambivalent again, but Lilith knows what will get him back on the path:
Sure enough, this pushes Sam to complete the task.
Once Sam realizes that his actions bear the consequences of releasing Lucifer from Hell, it becomes clear to him that he indeed was not on a path of redemption or to save himself from the ‘monster’, but rather he has fully become a freak - which leads to his self-identification and acceptance of the word. The word “freak” is now fully incorporated into his self-concept
Acceptance of the word “freak”
Sam wants out in the start of season 5, believing himself to be unfit for the hunter life after what he’s done and who he is. If it wasn’t clear enough that he has accepted himself as a freak, he says “Last time I wanted to be normal. This time I know I’m a freak” when he faces Lucifer in [5x03]. He continues season 5 believing himself to be a freak, and that the only way he can atone for what he’s done is to sacrifice himself to stop the Apocalypse. The act is not a heroic one in Sam’s mind, like killing Lilith was supposed to be. But rather it is atonement, repentance and making things right – he was the one who started the Apocalypse, and it is his responsibility to end it.
When he comes back from Hell, he is soulless – and this Sam does not believe he is a freak. Even though things are wrong with him, his self-view is different. His self-concept includes cognitive descriptions – being a good hunter, being smart but there are no affective descriptions that he applies to himself. He doesn’t feel like a freak (because he is not able to feel anything), and so he doesn’t carry that baggage with him.
When his soul is restored, he struggles mentally with images of Lucifer. The amount of torture he has been through cannot be imagined, nor what kind of negative self-conceptions about himself he has heard from Lucifer in the Cage. Nevertheless, we see a change in Sam’s relationship with the word “freak” in season 7. His mental health is so far off, he believes he is not even close to being considered ‘normal’ – and so along with his hell experience and being back with hallucinations tormenting him – being a freak still applies, and rather he believes will always apply to him. Although this time with a little redefinition.
Although the word “freak” has always carried a negative connotation, there was one person in Sam’s past who validated him being a freak – Amy Pond, the kitsune. It is so interesting how he and Amy connect over being freaks [7x03]. Amy believes herself to have a darkness in her that she is controlling in order to live a normal life and not hurt others. Even at a young age, Sam connects with that. Meeting Amy again in this episode, Sam is reminded of her definition of freak. She faced the word head-on and told Sam: “Sam, you are a freak” But she continued to associate the word with famous and talented people. Amy’s definition of freaks goes something like this: “All the coolest people are freaks”
But being reminded of Amy’s definition of freak, and having suffered from hallucinations for so long, these two experiences come together towards his acceptance of this part of him and creating a new definition for himself. He tells Dean that although he is a freak, it is not the same as being dangerous. Sam has now made his own associations of the word freak and has tweaked the word to fit him and his conception of himself. Him being a freak no longer means he is something to hunt down, it means he’s “different” and “other”, and it does not mean he poses a threat to the people around him. Not anymore. He might look like a monster, but he does not act like one.
He has been running from the word for so long, but it always comes back to chase him down. He’s not running away from it anymore, nor does he have hope that one day he won’t be a freak. He doesn’t get defensive like before, but instead tells Dean he can say it to him. “I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to be normal. Come on, I’m not normal. All the crap I’ve done. I’m a grade-A freak” [7x03].
Although he is able to view the word differently, that is not the case for Dean. Sam reacts immediately when Dean calls Amy a freak, but he invites his brother to say the word to him. Sam knows the word lives implicitly between him and Dean. Dean views the world in monsters and not-monsters, freaks and not-freaks. Sam is aware of this, but he invites Dean to speak his mind, to utter the word out loud so it surfaces in the literal reality instead of floating in the invisible between them. Being viewed as a freak by his brother is something Sam has accepted.
Dean’s view of him has always had immense power over Sam. We perceive the people around us to be mirrors of how we are, and thus their assumptions of us are incorporated into our self-concept and thought to be truths. Dean’s view of Sam as different and a freak has carried throughout the seasons, but it isn’t until Dean tells Sam in season 8 that there’s nothing “past or present, that I would put in front of you” that he reassures Sam he has worth and value, that his brother does not despise him despite (what Sam perceives to be) his shortcomings.
Reconstruction of the word “freak”
Although he starts redefining the word freak in season 7, I believe his true reconstruction of the word happens after the trials. He has tried to purify himself through the trials, and the demon blood in him has always been such an important aspect of why he feels like and is viewed as a freak.
This reconstruction takes time over the later seasons. When Sam is captured by the British Men of Letters, they make him hallucinate and I would argue that it exacerbates his deepest fears (letting people down, for example). Here, Sam hears Dean’s voice repeatedly telling him: “You’re the freak, you’re the freak, you’re the freak” [12x01]
Sam is more assured in Dean’s view of him by now, as Dean has expressed belief in him since season 8. Yet, this is still a nightmare to hear. Although this is one of Sam’s greatest fears, he is able to see through the illusion and he does not let any fear of the word affect his decision-making. Later in the season, he tells Magda (a psychic) that his powers (and the demon blood) were a part of him, and it didn’t make him evil. It just made him who he was. He has now constructed the word freak even more differently, viewing it as a part of him, but not necessarily a negative part like he has before. He used to believe it was an evil monstrous part of him, then he understood it as a monstrous but not dangerous part. Now, it’s just a part of him. It does not exclude the good in him, as he says that it just made him who he already was [12x04]
In the same season, he seems tentative with Mary, worried she might not love him. He is after all the child with the demon blood. Her love and regret at her choices in the end of the season confirms to him that he is loved by his mother, providing further healing. Dean shows belief in him, as a hunter, as a leader, and in his ability to make decisions. This is important to Sam, who lost Dean’s trust and has been reliant on making decisions based on his brother.
In season 13, Sam relates to Jack now being called the “freak”. Jack is scared that he might be evil, that his powers dictate his path – and Sam can relate to that. He says, “I know what it feels like to feel like you don’t belong, to feel there’s this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do” [13x03]
But Dean calls Jack a freak and threatens to kill him, which makes Sam furious partly because he knows firsthand how Dean’s words can hurt. Dean says that he knows it’s going to end bad with this freak. Sam immediately reacts with “I didn’t end bad when I was the ‘freak’” [13x03]. No one believed in him or understood what he was going through, how being alienated took a toll on his self-view. He gives Jack the understanding he never received.
Sam also shows Jack the compassion he wasn’t given. When Sam was considered the freak, he was viewed as evil and he tried to turn this evil into good. He tried to save as many people as he could, trying to make his powers useful. When Jack finds out that Sam wants to try using his powers in order to save Mary, Sam assures him that even if that isn’t possible, Jack has inherent value. Sam tells Jack the words that would have helped him when he was struggling. “If that doesn’t work, it’s okay, because I do care about you” [13x04]. Jack’s value is not dependent on his powers, nor does he need to prove himself to make up for the acclaimed darkness in him. Sam doesn’t want Jack to internalise what he himself did – that he has to compensate for evil in him. But rather that the goodness lies already within him, and he just needs to choose to act on it.
This lesson is also what has shaped Sam’s self-concept towards a more positive development – that he is who he chooses to be. And thus, he can reshape his self-concept, and in which way the word “freak” applies to him - and in which ways it doesn’t.
Alone: An Essay on the Monstrous in Ryomen Sukuna and Gojo Satoru From Jujutsu Kaisen.
ao3 link for easier reading
note: I ran out of steam halfway through this and wandered off. I tried to stay on topic, had a scone, failed to stay on topic. finished this anyway. its 1.7k words save me.
Gojo Satoru and Sukuna are mirrors of each other. Not just because they are at the top of the world, but because the only thing that separates Gojo Satoru from the same fate of Sukuna is compassion; shown toward others and toward Gojo Satoru himself. In this essay, we are going to examine what makes Ryomen Sukuna so different than Gojo Satoru and discuss the idea that both of them belong to a category that Cohen describes as a cultural monster.
What Is The Cultural Monster?
In his work “Monster Culture (Seven Theses)” Jeffery Jerome Cohen argues that for a monster to appear it has to be born at a specific cultural moment; a moment when change is assured, when difference is coming. A monsters body, Cohen continues to argue “is pure culture” (Cohen). A monster cannot exist without the culture it was grown from, cultural fears, it can then be inferred, are what give rise to a monster.
Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna
The monster always escapes (Cohen). That is the theme of the second thesis that composes Cohen’s seven theses of monster culture. The monster escape precisely because it is a cultural body, because it was born in a time of upheaval it carries with it the anxieties of that time, and it carries those anxieties into the future (Cohen).
In this way, both Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna, two sorcerers whose birth brought great change to the world of Jujutsu Kaisen can be classified as a monster not just because of their immense power and strength, nor because they inspire fear in people, rather Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna are monsters because the world around them made them that way. If the birth of a monster is caused by cultural shift, by change or the threat of it, then the monster itself is a harbinger of that change. Both Ryomen Sukuna and Gojo Satoru threatened the established world order, Gojo Satoru wanted to change it in ways that the higher ups did not agree with and in Ryomen Sukuna’s case ways they feared. In this way, the fact that both characters were outliers, exceptions to the order that everyone had become so comfortable with, both characters were threats.
And what is a threat but a step toward a monster?
As such, although both Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna are killed in the course of Jujutsu Kaisen’s story it can be argued that their impact, the impact of their birth, their lives, and their deaths, have lingered and that their actions will continue to affect the world of Jujutsu Kaisen even without them there. In this way they have taken another step toward the monstrous. If a monster is a cultural phenomenon, then it doesn’t just die. It lasts. It lingers. It always finds a way to escape. Their legends in verse will be constructed and reconstructed from fragments. Like the worlds worst game of telephone, these two characters have stepped into the pages of their in world mythology and must now contend with the fact that no one will ever know them as they were again.
They themselves carry with them the anxieties and upheaval of their time, in turn, they walk hand in hand with the shadow of monsters.
Good Vs Evil
It is tempting to assume that Gojo Satoru is the good one. It is tempting to assume that Ryomen Sukuna is the evil one. It is tempting to sort these two characters into neat boxes and ignore the nuance of their behaviour toward other characters and each other.
Gojo Satoru is not perfectly good, he takes joy in the act of fighting, in conquering those weaker than him. We can see this clearly in the Hanami, but even in his first fight with Jogo, Gojo Satoru views it as a game. He doesn’t see either Jogo or Hanami as a threat, and why should he? He’s declared himself the Strongest. He’s, quite literally, untouchable.
When we look into this particular flavour of tropes. When we examine characters who fit the chaotic good or so lawful good archetypes, we rarely see a character that thoroughly enjoys the act of killing, of conquering something or someone else. Even neutral good characters still angst over the kill. Gojo Satoru notably does not do this. Therefore, can we truly call him good? He may be on the side of the protagonist, but do his actions fit within the realm of good? Remember, we are dealing in tropes and archetypes here. There is room for a grey area.
Gojo Satoru exists in that grey area. He is neither perfectly good or evil. He is a product of the culture he was brought up in. You cannot sort him neatly into a box of good, evil, or other, because he will not fit.
Ryomen Sukuna on the other hand, is a different matter. He is no longer living, he is a Curse, a being made of negative energy. Therefore it can be argued that he is evil, that he has no choice but to be evil. Indeed, his actions within Jujutsu Kaisen support this. Ryomen Sukuna is evil.
But like Satoru, he will not fit into the box. Why?
Because he isn’t human. At this point in the story, he is literally made up of negative energy. He isn’t human anymore, so the boxes we use to fit human characters into go out the window. Would you categorize a hurricane as evil, no matter the damage it did? An earthquake? A tornado?
Ryomen Sukuna is evil to us because we are human and we see him as a human when he isn’t. He is a force of nature, by the time we meet him, he’s already transformed into something that one could argue doesn’t need to understand our morals because it makes no sense for him to learn or care about them. He is a natural phenomenon. Why should he care for the harm his actions do?
Is nature evil for the harm it does us? Or does it simply exist?
In the same way that Ryomen Sukuna defies definition as something that exists solely as evil, he also defies the categorization of being a natural consequence. He is a Curse, but he is their king, he has made himself and been made into something more than just a Curse, and due to the fact that he seems so human, one has to ask:
Is he a human, or is he a consequence?
In these ways both Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna stand at borders of categorization and scoff. They cannot be categorized, not fully, because they force readers to ask themselves questions. To take pause and wonder if what we are used to is really good, and if a consequence is indeed evil.
Gates of Difference
These two characters are set apart from everyone from birth. Gojo Satoru because of his eyes, Ryomen Sukuna because of his appearance. Both can, in this context, be called monsters. Ryomen Sukuna for his extra arms and eyes, Gojo Satoru because of the way his Clan, and the jujutsu world in general, revere his eyes.
To be different is to be outside the cultural norm. It is to be a warning and a threat. For Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna, two characters who never had the chance to exist inside the gates of normality. The difference between them, and the cultural norms that surround them is immense not only because of the difference of power between them and the those surrounding them, but because society itself has pushed them out of the gates of supposed normality and barred them from entering.
We could argue that Gojo Satoru gets the closest to entering the norms that engulf his culture; and we would be right to do so. But at what cost does that almost-entrance come with? What does Gojo Satoru have to give up in order to almost enter the society that made him? He would have to play to their rules, be their weapon, their puppet. He would have to view them as masters of his leash. His ego might allow some of that, but at the end of the day, Gojo Satoru becomes monstrous again because the leash holding him snaps.
Borders of the Possible
If one is both monster and human, both monster and natural consequence, then at what point do they lose who they are and become symbols. A monster is a symbol.
Are Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna symbols? What do they, in universe, signify? Gojo Satoru is easy, he's a monster on the leash, he's the monster that wants to get in and broaden the borders of the possible. It is Sukuna who wants those borders completely destroyed. It is Sukuna who represents devastation, complete upheaval of the old ways and the destruction of the future because of that.
Gojo Satoru I would argue represents the slow but steady change that happens over time. He is progress. He is slow and steady and changing. But he is also complicit in his own monstrous identity. He cannot broaden the borders of the possible enough to include him because he signifies the consequences of pushing too hard. Gojo Satoru has no choice but to toe a thin line between upholding the system that sees him as a weapon, and changing it.
Desire
Power. Both Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna are monsters of power. They are monstrous because of their power, because of the lack of power other people feel in their presence. They are monsters of power because people covet the power they have. Their power is both warning and desire. Consequence and lust. Gojo Satoru and Ryomen Sukuna are beings that people want. As symbols. As weapons. As corpses.
In Conclusion
They are monstrous because they exist outside the boundaries the jujutsu world has so painstakingly crafted. They are monsters because they represent a shift in thinking, a changing of the guard, the evolution of cultural norms and nothing is more threatening to those in power than a change. They are monsters because they are symbols, because people desire the power they have, because they are a warning about what happens if you cross the line. Ryomen Sukuna is a consequence, Gojo Satoru is a saviour.
Secure attachment = Positive internal working model of attachment of others as an adult, characterized by the view that others are generally accepting and responsive (APA definition)
Insecure attachment - two types:
Anxious-avoidant – as an adult it is characterized by discomfort in being with others and a tendency to avoid intimate relationships with them (APA definition)
Anxious-resistant – easily frustrated or angered when their attachment needs go unmet as a child, wanting closeness but resisting it.
I’m not going to present arguments for why the boys don’t have certain attachment styles, but rather present which attachment style I think they do have and then expand on that. You can read more on attachment styles here and the definition here, but I’ll explain a little.
From birth, the type of attachment we have with our primary caregiver is essential for how we interact with the world. We often talk about “safe bases”, and how feeling safe with your primary caregiver is the foundation from which you then explore the world. In an experiment by Mary Ainsworth (Strange Situation), the children did not want to play or explore in the room when the mother left the room. It’s knowing that there is a safe base to come back to, that helps with the exploration. How does this further affect us in life?
Well, the attachment style we internalize is the one that becomes part of our internal working model of attachment – which is a theoretical model in us that shows up in our relationships throughout life. You’ve probably heard about people who have a tough childhood, and then they later end up in abusive relationships as well.
So, back to Sam and Dean. What is interesting with these boys is that for most of their childhood, they only have a single parent. But despite John being the adult and the parent, I argue that Sam and Dean develop different attachment styles.
Let’s start with Dean. Let’s assume that before Mary’s death, four-year-old Dean had a safe attachment to both of his parents. He was safe and knew he could explore the world. After Mary’s death, John becomes a strict authoritarian parent who’s low in warmth and high in control. There’s also now the new threat of monsters that young Dean must wrap his head around as well as losing his mother, while John is retreating into this angry revenge-driven person. Dean’s attachment to John, as shown from season 1, looks very much like an anxious-avoidant attachment style. Typical for this attachment style is the fact that the child does not show distress when the primary caregiver leaves, avoids them, and learns to take care of their needs on their own. This is typical of children who have unavailable and neglecting parents. Such children are found to be low in confidence and less likely to express emotions. They also struggle to seek help. Sound familiar?
I do believe Dean later develops a secure attachment with Bobby, although it took him time. He avoided any kinds of attachments outside of family in the start, being wary of everyone around him (like Ellen and Jo), because experience taught him that people can’t be relied upon. Dean always tries to meet his own needs and not rely on anyone else. It’s remarkable and sweet that he slowly lets himself rely on Bobby.
Let’s turn to Sam. I believe that from birth Sam would have a secure attachment style with Mary, which is brutally ripped away from him as well. As a baby, it would be even harder to not have the secure person. It could be that Sam, like Dean, also has an anxious-avoidant attachment to John as a toddler, but it makes more sense that he has an anxious-resistant attachment. Such children are upset when the caregiver is not there, but when the caregiver comes back, they reject comfort as the child finds the caregiver’s leaving unpredictable. I believe maybe Sam was like this towards John, because even in Season 1 it is clear Sam doesn’t want to get attached too much, he’s keeping a distance between himself and his family, expecting things to go sideways. He wants his father’s love, but butts heads with him and resists him.
Although I do think he had this kind of attachment to John, I don’t believe it became internalized as much. Because he also had Dean. We see Sam being taken care of Dean since he was a toddler, being left alone with his older brother. Unconsciously, he leans on Dean for his needs to be met. As he grows older, we see that he gives his present to John (the amulet) to Dean, another show of regarding Dean highly and closely as a caregiver. Sam seems to have a secure attachment to Dean; he can rely on Dean, his “safe base”, and because of that he is confident in exploring the world. Although Dean can’t obviously meet all of Sam’s needs as a child himself, I do think he met enough that created a secure attachment in Sam. For example, Sam can talk to Dean about how he’s feeling (more so as Dean grows up too), he knows Dean will protect him no matter what. Dean held space for Sam to explore different things - play soccer, be a theatre kid etc.
The difference in their primary caregiver and attachment style is so interesting. It’s even more clear when we see how the boys are after John and Bobby’s death. They’re both utterly devastated, but Sam is able to slowly move on after a while. He wants to call Bobby’s phonebook and inform people, but Dean does not want to do anything. This isn’t to say the deaths weren’t hard on Sam – he’s just coping a bit better. I find this interesting because it shows that as long as Dean is there, Sam feels safe. Everything could be burning, but having his older brother, that’s a kind of security that Dean does not have. Dean has his brother, of course, but he is used to not leaning on anyone, especially not his younger brother (because it is ‘his responsibility to take care of Sam’, and not vice versa). Dean doesn’t have a caregiver he can lean on.
Another interesting scene is in the hospital in 2x01, when Dean is in a coma (and is wandering as a ghost). The doctor comes in and says that John will be fine – Dean immediately says, “thank god”, while Sam says, “Doc, what about my brother?”
When Azazel possesses John and tells Sam in 2x21 that Dean is wrong to think he is possessed, Sam goes and stands by Dean instead of John. There are probably hundreds of moments that showcase how Dean is Sam’s primary caregiver and John is Dean’s, and how that reflects their attachment styles.
I also find it interesting when it comes to Bobby that for Sam, there is no intense need to replace his primary caregiver (Dean), he already has a secure attachment. But Dean doesn’t have that, and so when he finds that with Bobby, he holds onto that. Just this scene from 6x02 when they are asked about the shifter baby’s name, Dean says “Bobby” and Sam says “John”. Just found that particularly interesting, how Dean’s attachment with Bobby is safer than his attachment with John.
[This is just a side note, I do think that Sam’s attachment style with John – anxious-resistant, does come into play in his internal working model of attachment. Especially because it gets reinforced when the relationships around him turn out to be falsely constructed (Brady), and the close relationships end up in deaths (Jessica). It’s not that he doesn’t have good relationships with people, it’s just that he keeps them at a distance. Unlike Dean, who takes time to let them in, but once he does, he is craves closeness, for example with Castiel, Charlie, Bobby]
I could literally go in-depth for both Sam and Dean, as well as how their attachment style also affects how they view themselves
the scene in “fresh blood” (03x07) when sam basically conveys that he wants dean to drop the tough act and be his brother again is so personal to me. as an older sibling, i’ve grown up with the habit of hiding my feelings from my younger sister. even though it’s the two of us like a team, i still put on the tough act.
and then suddenly she would give me an interpretation of how i feel that just...hit so well. and it’s so surprising that she would get things even i couldn’t articulate to myself. i think as older siblings we are so focused on meeting the younger siblings needs, that we forget that they see us too. i love how sam conveys this, that he’s been copying dean since he was four. so he knows dean’s behavior and how his mind works.
