𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐀 ; 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 .
@moralfound asked: #7 / maggie
... ❛ 07 . a kiss to say what you can’t say aloud .
Bathed in the near complete darkness that enveloped every corner of the apartment, speckled with the first stripes of daylight beginning to peek through the five am cover of dusk, Alex lay dead still, like she’d been trained to in the event that she found herself stepping on a weighted explosive or caught in the sights of a motion sensor.
There, in the dark, ensnared in the painful realisation that she and Maggie had come to a stalemate, as far as the future they’d each envisioned for their forever together went, she sucked in a breath that she hoped, for the sake of her fiancée, sound asleep beside her, would quell the staggering impulse she had to quietly sob until she couldn’t take the strain, to hold her breath while the first golden glimmer of morning invariably cast Maggie in the kind of aureate glow that almost made her seem unattainable; To dig her nails into her palms until the blood vessels beneath her skin burst into bruises and the ache that seized her retreated, if only long enough to let her drift in the general vicinity of sleep.
Halting a shudder with her gritted teeth, Alex heaved a laboured breath into the back of the hand she’d clamped across her nose and mouth. Breathed ---- in, out, in, then out again ---- until the bed beside her dipped with the shift of Maggie’s bearing against her, and she began to stir, oblivious to the sharp, stilted rattle that’d stalled the jolt of Alex’s ribcage while she’d cried late into the night.
Sleep wouldn’t solve the issue of kids. Sleep wouldn’t diminish the feeling of ice cold trepidation that sank into her aching bones, nor would it stop her world from ending, when the time inevitably came to talk.
Touching Maggie, however, almost seemed to stave off the unavoidable. Holding her, no matter how much it hurt to envision an increasingly less hypothetical future without her, was almost enough to assure her that the ground beneath her wouldn’t completely shake apart and swallow her whole in a matter of days. That maybe they’d get through this in one piece. That maybe love would be enough.
It was. It had to be, or else she’d never survive.
Canting her jaw in the direction of the murmur that’d snapped her out of her chilling rumination ---- a slumbersome sigh against her shoulder, a gentle scrape of nails across the lean plane of her stomach where her cotton tee had ridden up, a subdued ‘ babe, you okay? ’ that she couldn’t find the words or the strength to address or refute ----, Alex slowly reached to comb her fingers through the sleep-tousled hair that’d tumbled loose over Maggie’s shoulder, and, with more tenderness than than her own tortured mind could possibly have afforded her, captured the swell of her lower lip between her own.