Pairing: Alex Danvers/Lucy Lane
Summary: It was a fun to push each other’s buttons because it not only brought out the best in one another. Both women met their match in one another. Only now, things have changed. And Alex is pissed.
A/N: lucy has a moment of clarity
ao3 link
This is it. This is exactly what the end feels like: regret. The taste in her mouth is sterile and dry, the kind of taste when doctors leave an operating room after losing a patient. There are a myriad of emotions that circle around should’ve, would’ve, and could’ve.
Lucy doesn’t think of it as the end though. She refuses to accept that fact, knowing that through all of her pain and bleeding this is far from the end. Even if she’s been shot just above her heart. It could’ve been a hell of a lot worse had it not been for her Kevlar.
Her life has never been terrible. She’s always gotten what she wanted and when she didn’t have something, she would work hard for it. Even when she never felt like anything was enough, her becoming a Major to please her father, her becoming a lawyer to level with her Pulitzer Prize winning sister, Lucy forged forward. She tried finding herself.
It had taken months, almost years, to get to where she is. Lucy finally found herself, the best version of herself that she wanted to be. She was doing work that she wanted to do and that she was made to do. All of her skills amounted to her work at the DEO. She’d fucking damned if she dies like this because there’s still one more thing she needs to do.
“You’re gonna feel some numbness,” Laurel says as she injects Lucy’s shoulder with an anaesthetic.
Lucy hisses before throwing her head back against the steel bench. “Didn’t know you were a doctor,” she comments through her labored breathing. She stares at the ceiling of the bunker as Laurel works.
Laurel looks carefully at Lucy’s shoulder, using tweezers to pull whatever remnants possible from her wound. “I’m not a doctor. This is basic first aid all vigilantes need to know,” she jokes.
Lucy feels the pressure of Laurel’s handiwork inside of her and grunts at the pain. She holds back the scream threatening to come up her throat as she stares harder at the ceiling.
“It’s okay if you’re in pain,” Laurel says as she pulls a sliver of metal out of Lucy’s body. She frowns at how it looks. “This isn’t pretty.”
“You act as if this is the first time I’ve gotten shot,” Lucy grinds her teeth as she feels the pressure from the tweezer again.
“Is the anaesthetic working?”
“Not particularly.”
“Alright, do you want something for the pain?”
“What’ve you got?”
“We’re fresh out of morphine but I think we have some vodka somewhere.”
Lucy scoffs at this. “That works just as well.”
Laurel laughs as she takes out one more fragment. She looks inside the wound carefully. “I think that’s it.”
Lucy looks over as Laurel drops the metal into the plastic. “I’m going to need a sample to go.”
“Do you ever stop thinking about work?” Laurel asks jokingly as she reaches for the needle and thread.
“I have my moments, you know that,” Lucy lazily answers as she briefly closes her eyes. Her body is exhausted from the blood loss.
“Hey, stay awake,” Laurel snaps her fingers at Lucy to open her eyes.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to die,” Lucy carelessly says, opening her eyes to stare at Laurel, who doesn’t look pleased. “I’m not.”
“You’re not but this bullet or whatever it is did some real damage to you,” Laurel chides. “It doesn’t hurt to be weary.” Her brows furrow as she focuses on stitching. “This isn’t going to be my best work, like you kindly mentioned I’m not a doctor, but it’ll save you from having to explain how you got injured.”
Lucy shakes her head. “Don’t worry, the work I do is on a need to know basis, there’s only ever one person that I inform first.”
“Alex Danvers?” Laurel teases.
Lucy narrows her eyes. “No. My co-director.”
At the reminder of Alex, Lucy smiles though. She’s going to be fine. Today isn’t a day that’s going to end in regret. She’s already made sure of it by sheer force of will.
“Are you going to get your girl or what?” Laurel prods upon the small smile on Lucy’s face. Lucy lightly laughs. “Because you could’ve died today and you wouldn’t have gotten to tell her you love her.”
“I want to,” Lucy admits before shutting her mouth. “I just don’t know what’s happened to me.” She looks at the ceiling as she muses about how much her life has changed. The thoughts have crossed her mind a lot recently.
Laurel hums thoughtfully. “With what happened to James and your dad, I don’t really blame you for being cautious.”
“Yeah?”
Laurel nods. “You always seemed like you knew what you wanted. When we were in law school, you had goals that you were focused on. You were like this unmovable, unstoppable force charging ahead to get what you wanted.”
Lucy smirks at the memory. “I made a lot of enemies along the way,” she reminds, despite feeling little remorse for that fact.
“Yes, you definitely did, but that was a different time in your life,” Laurel points out. “You’ve met new people, healthier people. You work for Supergirl for crying out loud, if she doesn’t like you it basically means you’re evil.”
Lucy laughs. “You know we didn’t like each other until fairly recently right?”
“My point in case. You’ve changed. But the real question is if this change is holding you back?”
Lucy narrows her eyes at Laurel. “When did you get all sagely?” she deflects unconsciously.
“Recovering from addiction does things to a girl,” Laurel tries joking. Lucy snorts to herself before reaching for Laurel’s hand.
“Next time call me, you know I’m here for you,” Lucy says supportively.
Laurel nods with a smile. “So? What do you think? What’s holding you back from getting the girl you love?”
Lucy takes a breath in. “When we first started sleeping together, I’ve just let her set the pace. Whenever she wanted me, I’d be there. When she didn’t need me, I would do my own thing.”
“You’re not the type to be used.”
“I know, Laur,” Lucy counters quickly. “For awhile I felt like we were using each other. Just sleeping together to get through the tough days, but things started to change. I started to feel differently.” The feeling weighs heavy in her chest like it has been whenever she thinks of Alex. “She’s nothing like anyone I’ve ever dated and it feels so new to me. I thought I knew what I wanted in a relationship, this perfect imagery of my perfect person, who respects me and my dreams, who encourages me and supports my endeavors. She didn’t do that when we first met. We were sitting at opposite ends of the table and I was leading her interrogation.”
Laurel snickers at this. “You mentioned you met her at work, I didn’t think that was the case.”
Lucy rolls her eyes. “I’m sure Felicity blew my cover completely by hacking into my agency. It feels better to not have to hide this from you. Like I can actually talk to someone.”
“Just because we are across the country from each other, doesn’t mean we can’t talk. You’re just always busy.” Lucy nods in agreement. “Alex sounds special, someone unexpected, different.”
“Yeah....I don’t know. She’s more than that. She's steadfast, determined, smart as hell, and god--she's beautiful. She's so sure of herself when she does something and it never ceases to amaze me how much of herself she's willing to give just to get the job done. She’s someone I never thought I would meet in this lifetime and yet, here she is. Here I am, wanting her more than ever.” Lucy bites her lip at the admission because knows deep down, she still feels a wall that stands between her and Alex.
“But you don’t want to get hurt,” Laurel deadpans, catching her attention.
“What makes you think I would get hurt?” Lucy shoots back quickly. She gets defensive about it without realizing it.
“Because the last time you went for someone you really wanted, ie James, that crashed and burned.”
“It wasn’t that dramatic,” Lucy reasons. “We just...wanted different things.” She finishes her thought almost lamely. She was hurt after James sure, but it was more than that. She was trying to make things work when they couldn’t. “What if I can’t make it work with Alex?”
Laurel raises her eyebrows as she finishes her stitching. She purses her lips skeptically at it before placing a bandage over it. She looks at Lucy, exhaling. “You never used to ask what if, Luce, you used to just go for it.” Lucy frowns because she’d do just that, take the risk, but she doesn’t want to to her surprise. “If Alex is actually more than you’ve ever expected, more than you’ve ever wanted, then why not take the risk and try to make it work? The fact that you’re apprehensive about the risks is because the rewards are worth more than you can imagine.”
Lucy chews on Laurel’s words. “A lot of things are easier said than done you know?” she notes aloud.
“Get your girl, Lucy, don’t be a wuss,” Laurel deadpans with a smile on her face. “You got shot today, live a little tomorrow.”
This garners a laugh from Lucy. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” Lucy waves her hand. “Nothing like a good old fashioned dying moment to bring some clarity to a girl.”
“You’re a little shit, I just wanted you to know that.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
Laurel narrows her eyes and thinks for a moment. “If you ever want a career change, you’d make a great superhero.”
Crochet More Conversation, Less Concentration Shawl
Crochet More Conversation, Less Concentration Shawl
Crochet More Conversation Shawl Crochet More Conversation, Less Concentration Shawl
You know how it is, you get gabbing or watching TV and the only thing you finish in the end is the dessert tray. This shawl was designed for more conversation, less concentration. This is my Crochet More Conversation Shawl.
There is an easy repeat pattern involved. The Criss Crosses give it a tad of texture…
Stop making these judgements from on high like you’re Stephen Colbert in a Gigantic Grand Hat. Quit making dramatic declarations that this day was
Good Day or
a Bad Day,
this life-route is Wrong and the thing I planned was the only way it could be Right...
As if it’s UNETHICAL for it to storm on your birthday, or for you to miss a flight. How DARE things happen in a chaotic universe full of neverending actiona nd reaction? They must be Wrong. Things are going Wrong, you judge, declaring from under the Grand Hat.
See, a person who does this is always disappointed because they can declare that anything unexpected, painful, inconvenient, disappointing, upsetting or just plain surprising- which is MOST of life- is Bad and Wrong.
instead of merely accepting that some things ARE just unexpected, painful, inconvenient, disappointing, upsetting or surprising.
That doesn’t make them something you need to have moral pain about. Hurting other people is actually wrong- being kind to people is right. However, rain on the day you wanted to have a garden party isn’t things going Wrong, it’s just a chance occurrence that means you need to change your plans. Get it yet?
This is the difference between one person waking up and crying “oh it’s raining! This sucks! My day is ruined!”
and the person in the next apartment waking up and saying, “Ah! I see it’s raining. I’ll have to change my plans today. Doesn’t the rain make an interesting sound on the roof? I never noticed that. cool.”
A fan at Comic-Con International here had a message for Joss Whedon, creator of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and director of two “Avengers” movies: We want you back.
“We're culturally addicted to outrage at the moment. We need to be more addicted to conversation.”
The reason boobs are oversexualized is because men are just sexual creature and sub-consciously look for women with a reproductive figure. Thus boobs are a huge turn on. I have yet to meet a woman who gets insanely turned on by guys nipples. Although pecks are nice, mmmm pecks.
I understand that they have their instinctive reasons to be stupid :P it just sucks and I think more women should attack them for it, rather than trying to take it as some kind of complement.
And in the picture of the man and the woman topless I am attracted to both of them cause we’re really not that different physically.
