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Also: I doubt you can see this but just know, my prior ex on this platform, you aren't slick either.

I can admit I've seen your profile on my sideblogs (ones you couldn't really give two shits about since you were so focused on what you liked) and glanced at it - and oh boy you really do love beating a dead horse so! I guess I am, too.

How about when you confessed to me, you were younger than me, and I didn't want to not only make you uncomfortable over it but I was worried that I'd be called a pedophile over it? Because I know how the internet works: 18 vs 24 (at the time) is huge to many and I know you were insistent on RPing not only more sensitive subjects but sexual subjects. I know I will never do that again.

How about the time I mentioned wanting to move in with you? How you iced me out and didn't properly talk to me for days over it and I had to talk to you about it? How I actually was in tears over this because I didn't know what I had done wrong?

Or how about me seeing the way you acted towards them during the three days I had to ensure you didn't actively kill yourself? The way you talked to me versus them was staggering and yet, somehow, you convinced me to come back.

You convinced me my way of care was actively making you feel "infantilized", as if you forgetting to eat or take your meds would send you into a spiral of self deprecation and send me running to ensure you were okay. As if me saying "hey sweetie, have you eaten today?" was enough to make you feel as if I was babying you.

I can't say I'm not at fault. I can't say that I didn't push you away or even unfairly ghost you, that I had days where I was cold or just absolutely couldn't do it: I know how I acted, I know it was wrong, but the one issue with you is that you seem to thrive on misery and knowing that someone else is suffering.

You seem to thrive on making yourself seem like the victim when I was one of yours.

Not to the extent you did to your former other who put up with your behavior for years, but still: you caused damage.

You made me feel small, made me feel as if I wasn't worthy of your attention unless I presented masculine, as if what I liked wasn't worth learning.

I hope you are so, so happy with yourself because just know I can beat on a dead horse too, sweetie, and I ain't done yet.

Not even close.

#furious.#more than.#i so hope you see this you know #and I hope your friends pass it on.#because at this point I have nothing to lose - I can handle life outside of the internet unlike the chronically online children you all are.