#morestarwars

[tuxedomask3]

Me: haha look at this nerd hat Also me: I'm buying it #morestarwars #whoissurprised #notme

[cookingwithspam-blog]

Sleep with sex-addicts tonight

WARNING: DO NOT OPEN ANY OF THE LINKS IN THESE EMAILS!  This is SPAM, people!

From: Annette BBW Personal Affairs [email protected]

Original Email:

Sleep with sex-addicts tonight

Meet and date really fun sex-addicts this week.

These sex-addicts are only interested in meeting you if you can offer them a one-night-stand.

So if you do not want a girlfriend or boyfriend, but you do want someone to sleep with, then we can help you.

Meet sex-addicts near you.

Pleasure and fun has never been so easy to find at the same place.

We hope you have a wonderful rest of your week.

See Nude Sex Adicts Near You Must be 18 or older to access nude profiles right now!

To not receive this message again please visit

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or write to:

Plymouth Associates Ltd. Heywood House South Hill, Anguilla

My Response:

Dear Annette BBW Personal Affairs,

First off, do you know Mistress M BBW Personal Affairs?  Are you related?  If not, I would be happy to introduce you.  Maybe you can get a convention going or something.

Anyways...

I was very tempted to simply jig on by your message as I do so many (so so so SO many) other messages that I receive from folks looking to further their sex addiction, but your truly sincere “We hope you have a wonderful rest of your week” just made me pause.  I cannot say that I have been spoken to so kindly by a purveyor of deviant sexuality before.  I genuinely felt like you cared whether or not that I had a wonderful rest of my week.  Since you sound so interested, I’ll give you a little rundown.

First, I’ve been temping at this staffing agency for the last two months and I’ve had two assignments.  The first assignment was only for a week and was very basic.  Now, my second assignment has become very very interesting to say the least.  My desk is located directly in front of the elevator shafts and both male and female bathrooms hem in either side of my desk.  I have learned that I am now the keeper of the toilet bowl secrets of the kingdom.  I, to my extreme dismay, now know who takes the most and/or longest potty stops throughout the day.  I have even found myself starting to actually JUDGE the people that are clearly just trying to waste time.  I’m not talking about the six, yes SIX, pregnant ladies that should of course make use of the facilities as often as needed, but rather the creepy and overly informative gentleman that feels the need to announce what type of deposit he will be making at the toilet bowl bank each time!  Also, people have started to treat me like a priest in a confessional.  For example, one young lady has started to share the soap opera that the love triangle between her, her friend, and her friend’s boyfriend!  All I said was, “How’s your coffee?” not “Tell me about the inappropriate sex texts you’ve received lately?”  Yikes!

In other news, xmas has come and gone and I can feel the inescapable drag of my most hated holiday...New Year’s.  New Year’s is the worst holiday by far, don’t you think?  I think I’d rather celebrate a day commemorating the creation of no-lick-necessary stamps than New Years!  Anyways, it is definitely the worst holiday!  If New Year’s day were a band, it would be Maroon 5, because everyone is constantly cramming it down my throat despite the fact that it’s so blah and unoriginal.  I think I’ll just end up watching the Twilight Zone Marathon again and dream of a world without New Year’s or Maroon 5.  I think Hell will just be a New Year’s Countdown to a Live performance of Maroon 5.  Damn, I should start going to church!

Finally, I think my wife will divorce me if I spend anymore time or money on the new Star Wars movie.  Talk about a bummer!  Maybe I should start a crowdfunding page to cover my latest addiction.  Care to donate to the “Don’t let Fox go broke over Star Wars Fund”?  I know someone as caring as you would surely chip in a few bucks!

Well, thanks for letting me get a few things off my chest.  You really are so wonderful, and that was very therapeutic.  I do have one problem with your email to me, however.  You say about your service that “ Pleasure and fun has never been so easy to find at the same place”, I disagree.  Have you seen the new Star Wars movie yet?  

Thanks again!

Fox