#mostly humor

[barrhorn]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

“You don’t want us waiting on you hand and foot?” Rumi glances at her, smiling. And she would if asked, Zoey knows. She hooks her good leg around Rumi, heel pressing into the small of her back, and lowers her voice as Rumi starts at the contact. “Well, if it was you, unnie,” she croons, and watches Rumi’s cheeks flush, feels the warmth of it against her hand. Or: Zoey accidentally Pavlovs Rumi (but uses for it good)

[roseforthethorns]

Theme Song Boogaloo

Scavenger Hunt Item #6: Pick five villains from the James Bond universe. What songs do they use for a dramatic entrance?

1- Raoul Silva: “Thnks fr th Mmrs” by Fall Out Boy

Bitter and driven to revenge, Silva would absolutely vibe with this ultimate “break up” song towards M. He’s still consumed with his past even though it would be healthier to move forward. It even fits in with his jealousy over James being the new “it” boy of MI6.

2- Le Chiffre: “Der Kommissar” by After the Fire

So in the books, Le Chiffre is an agent of SMERSH, working against MI6 as a Russian Spy (though his heritage is likely Eastern European). It also has that confidence and swagger that Le Chiffre brings to the table, especially when he dupes Bond with his false tell.

3- Hugo Drax: “Black Sheep” by Metric

He’s a bit of a loner now, working to build his… missile? Bomb? Thing? The movie and book differ SO MUCH. However, this song absolutely slaps, AND THERE IS EVEN REFERENCE TO OUTER SPACE- hell yes Moonraker.

4- Mr. Green: “Feeling Hot hot hot” by The Merrymen

I mean… his whole plan is depriving people of easy, clean water, isn’t it? And then they have to come to him for it? Plus, he seems like the kind of person who thinks cultural appropriation is funny.

5- Xenia Onatopp: “S&M” by Rhianna

First off- have you SEEN HER CLOTHES? Black and leather and cinched and hot as all hell. She’s a total sadist in bed and definitely left me feeling scared and horny as a recently realized bisexual when I first saw Goldeneye.

6- (Bonus) Max Denbigh: “The Final Countdown” by Europe

I’m not taking criticism at this time

[sullenaquarian]

I wish the final season of iZombie was better. 

[corwynnasmith]

Do you want to read an original story by me for free as it is written?

Join me in Real; summary below:

Agent Carter Reed has never had a problem with navigating the ups and downs of a town where reality is what you believe it to be; she grew up there, after all. She knows the shifting streets, the eccentric residents, and her beloved team like the back of her hand. It's a place where anything you can imagine could come to life before your eyes. It's wonderful. It's magical.

It's rotting.

"Don't stop believing," reads the sign over LESCon's central office, a laugh turned dark reminder as Marr Valley remembers its roots.

[29-pieces]

Sneak Peek - Musketeers fic

“Don’t worry, we got a plan!” Porthos yelled.

“Thank you, now we can all be deaf together,” Aramis griped. “Athos, as soon as that door opens, Porthos will take out the sentry. I’ll get his gun and you can have his sword, and we’ll fight our way out of here. D’Artagnan is standing by with the horses out of sight. Got it?”

There was a pause as Athos stared at Aramis. That was the plan, in its entirety?

Weakened by over a week of captivity, their escape relied on his ability to even hold a sword, let alone wield it against an entire castle of enemies, side by side with a blind man aiming a gun?

Good, then. He’d been a little worried they’d come bursting in half-cocked without any ideas for getting back out again. Athos nodded.

Aramis huffed. “Porthos, is he saying yes or no?”

Grabbing Porthos’s shoulder, Athos gave him an exaggerated nod and pointed to Aramis.

“Oh, eh… he says yeah, Aramis. About whatever you said.” 

[followerofmercy]

I propose an alternate name for the mettasans ship.

Mettaphysics.

That is all.

[ashfaeriefire]

So like. I head canon that god and satan are both lesbians and they just hate fuck sometimes 😌👌

[ao3larryficrec]

Leave Before The Lights Come On by Velvetoscar 1/1 (15k)

Louis' never had a one night stand in his entire twenty-one years of existence. Not once. That is...until now. And OF COURSE this is how it happened.