#mostmiserable

[p1ratelady]

@mostmiserable said: 7) spying on/walking in on their partner touching themself

the door to the guest bedroom she was sleeping in remained ajar throughout the night and desperation from the dream that came over made it easy for her not to care. it caused her to be reckless.

"use me to come." carol rasped out between licks to swollen bud that moved down into her dripping center. her hands were on the headboard as her hips dropped further onto the blonde's face, moving in time as she felt that familiar coil in her abdomen threatening to come undone as her hips moved desperately. one hand reaching down to hold carol's head in place.

and then the branches from the window jolt her awake and carol's warm mouth is gone and reality takes over as her eyes take in the guest room only illuminated by moonlight now. zosia still planned on leaving albuquerque as the world reset, as the pilots found their footing.

carol's neighbors returned to their home and zosia had no other option, but to stay here. she was infuriated with everything that happened, that carol forgot her and yet, the dreams let her know that the lust she had for her was still there.

it causes a hand to slide between her legs, beneath the oversized cardigan that fell to her upper thigh and under lace underwear to find that she was drenched. drenched and determined to not give carol the satisfaction of letting her touch her because she was desperate.

her fingers moved the slick she found up enough to coat her throbbing bud and she let out a soft whine as she began to circle it. her eyes closed as she applied more pressure and let herself fantasize it was carol, so desperate to please that she moaned against her.

it was uncontrolled in a way zosia hadn't felt in a long time, two fingers slipped inside of herself and she began to thrust them at a steady pace with the heel of her palm rubbing against her clit. her hips began to rock against her hand, causing the springs in the mattress to groan, which zosia hadn't realized as a result of the panting that she thought was quiet.

that was, until her eyes opened to glance down between her thighs and she sees carol in the doorway. her movements don't stop, too desperate and she knows there's no point in hiding it. "get over here." she pants out, demanding despite the spell of lust she's under. she doesn't care if she wouldn't chose her in the moment as her core throbs.

"i need your mouth." it wouldn't change anything, wouldn't prove that carol cared, but it would get zosia through the night.

[ptential]

@mostmiserable continued from here

moments like these were some of helen's favorites, much to carol's dismay. carol was independent to a fault, rarely accepting help when she needed it. helen would only let her get away with it for so long before she did something, calling her out about her whining or before she took matters into her own hands.

as her agent, she gave her the tools and advice she needed to get the audience to respond to her: heels, makeup, dresses and anything that qualified as feminine. as someone that loved her, she knew how uncomfortable carol was in it the whole time, it made her hate her job more than anything to put her in that position, even if she made sure it was carol's choice.

helen learned to carry the wipes on her after the first time and given how hot it is in phoenix this time, she's glad she did. she starts with the eye makeup, always as stubborn as the blonde is as she rubs it off with more pressure. her free hand is under her chin as she switches to a new wipe to start on her lipstick, trying to keep it from smearing onto her face and then carol opens her mouth and she can't help the laugh that comes out. "well i am now." she releases carol from her hand, turns her towards the mirror and shows the red lipstick now trailing towards her nose. "you see why i tell you to stay still when i do this?"

[p1ratelady]

@mostmiserable said: [ wash ] sender helps wash dried blood off of receivers face.

every thought that's been in zosia's head has been part of the collective mind, but this is different. it's blamed on the medication for the pain as she is able to feel carol's fingertips against her face barely.

there's familiarity in the touch only briefly, dark eyes train on carol's face. they'd all known her face very well by now, it was a wonderful face and it only adds to the information from helen.

it's the one time they don't decide to check in if carol's changed her mind.

“ carol. ” there's a softness to her voice as she glances at the other woman, “ you didn't have to stay. ” still, zosia can't help but lean into the touch, knowing that this will be the only occasion for this.

[ptential]

@mostmiserable said: [ WATCH ] for muses to cuddle on a couch while watching tv and one of them begins to finger the other but stops every time they make too much noise. (for helen)

she's pressed in close to carol from behind as the golden girls dvd plays. her arm had been wrapped around her waist, fingertips teasing at the skin between her stomach and the top of her pajama pants as she watched the golden girls from behind her. it's absentminded as her fingers slip under the fabric of bottoms, hovering over her underwear.

her wife was always loud and god, she loved it. she loved knowing what she could do to her, loved knowing that it was one of the few things carol struggled to hold back on. their last trip on the book tour, they celebrated and carol had been loud enough for anyone in the rooms beside them to hear.

"you've got to work on being quiet." she husked into her ear now, fingers played at the sides of her underwear, lifting enough to tease her. "if i stop hearing the show because of you, i stop. got it?"

she doesn't wait for a response as she pulls the pants and underwear down to her ankles. she parts carol's legs for her, fingers trail to her wet slit and she presses two fingers inside of her from behind, eyes staying trained on the screen. she knew her wife's body well, knew what buttons to push, knew when to give her more, but she loved hearing carol ask for it.

[ptential]

@mostmiserable continued from here

it's an unspoken rule that if she hears keystrokes against her keyboard (or the typewriter helen got her on their fifth anniversary) that helen shouldn't enter unless it's an emergency. it takes a lot to unnerve her, she had her ups and downs with all the resistance that carol could put up. and helen put up with it in the name of love, in the name of understanding why carol needed to sneak bottles of vodka, of covering up her dui from the public.

helen was the one that would ground carol when her mind took a negative turn, when she needed to remind her about what a beautiful life they had together. "theo..." her brother, one of the only people helen and carol allowed at city hall with them during their wedding, the one she called when her and carol had a fight. he was the only family that helen had that was accepting of them that was still alive. "i got a call from the hospital." she swallows the lump that keeps making itself known in her throat, bites it down to take in another breath. "there was an accident while he went hiking and, he's gone." tears fall down as she feels all of the stability that brought her there fall and her breath catches in her chest.

[ptential]

@mostmiserable continued from here

she had seen men hit on carol and while she might have been protective every now and then and hearing about her on dates with them might have bothered her. seeing the blonde with a woman that was clearly flirting with her made it impossible to bite back the jealousy that came out in her tone, that made her posture defensive even with the drink she had going through her system. it wasn't enough, but there was no point in getting to the point she didn't care where she could lean into her when it never went anywhere.

"it doesn't." she scoffs, trying to get away from the topic at hand, away from the sting that was inflicted there. "i just thought you weren't into women." she's surprised that carol doesn't correct her or reminder her that she was straight then, like she always did. it shouldn't make her think that maybe she just wasn't into her, with the way she'd move a step away from her if she dared get that close while they were sober (being drunk was always a different story.)

[ptential]

@mostmiserable continued from here

she hated doing tours with other talent on the other side of the country, especially when their events lead late into the night. when she had a feeling it would take longer than expected, she would try to slip out at some point, but it was the release of a major novel and there was no getting out of it tonight.

she let carol know ahead of time, giving her time to prepare for the fact that they wouldn't get to watch golden girls together, she hated missing it as much as the blonde did. it was something they bonded over when they first got together, it allowed them to get physically closer, carol would fall asleep on her before they were ever together.

helen made the decision to pack lingerie because of it, knowing it would ease the ache at least a little. after the long night, she took a shower, hated how quiet it was without carol there, missed the heat of her wife's body and wished the next morning would come so she could be on her flight.

after drying her hair, she slips into the lingerie and pulls it down more than it needs to go, taking a picture so a sliver of her nipple is exposed and carol still has something to imagine. her hand reached for the vibrator that she brought with her. she rarely used it, preferred to use her own hand so she could replicate carol's movements, but she wanted carol to hear it if she was still awake.

when the phone rings, she picks it up before it rings a second time. "what, you want to cuddle?" her tone is low, filled with arousal as she teases her and brings the vibrator to life, only pressing it to the inside of her thigh. "fuck, i miss you."

[p1ratelady]

@mostmiserable said: quit assuming you know what i'm thinking.

there's amusement written across her features at carol's comment, "it's true we don't know what you're thinking, but we do know how you have responded in the past to situations like this one."

her eyes are dazed as her mind goes through the clutter of the hive, collecting memories of it from past experiences like this one.

"you could just tell us what you're thinking if you prefer that we don't do that. we can't read your mind."