Moceitmas - Icicle
This is one of many, many ficlets I am posting on Christmas day. Hope you enjoy!
GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @glassferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1 @yourneighborhooddisaster @alexxander-the-gay @full-of-roman-angst-trash
Masterpost
"Do you think an icicle would make a good murder weapon?" Thomas pondered out loud out of nowhere.
Patton gave Thomas a disapproving look that was just a little fond. It was impossible for Patton to look at his boyfriends with anything but fondness in his gaze, even when there was disapproval there, too.
"Yes," Janus answered immediately.
Patton then turned his head towards Janus, his expression suddenly one full of concern and slight alarm.
"Um... how would you know that, Jan?" He asked cautiously.
Janus rolled his eyes. "Well, obviously I have never killed anyone, Patton," he said in response to the implied accusation. "And, if I had, I would never have given such obvious answers. I know how to lie much better than that. I would never kill anyone, anyway."
"Jan, honey," Patton said. "I love you, but that's the most suspicious thing you've ever said to us. Now I'm a little worried."
"No, no," Thomas said. "He has a point, I think he wouldn't have said that if he'd actually killed anyone."
"Thank you."
"Okay, okay, you're probably right," Patton said. "I'm sorry, honey."
"Thank you," Janus repeated.
"But how did you know that?" Thomas asked.
"Well, it would melt," Janus said like it was obvious. "And therefore leave no murder weapon or fingerprints behind. As long as you have no connection to the victim and leave no other evidence behind, you would likely get away with it."
"If I ever got murdered by an icicle," Thomas said. "I trust you guys to still be able to find my killer."
"Unless I was the killer," Janus said. "Then I believe I would get away with it."
"Jan!" Patton exclaimed. "You can't say that!"