#moveyoumoveothers

[derekdeprey]

Can You Be Your Best Without Being Obsessed?

Have you ever been obsessed with something? I surely have been. In 6th grade, I was obsessed with eating one "Whatchamacallit" candy bar every single day. In 7th grade, I was obsessed with collecting as many Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson sports cards as financially possible. In 8th grade, I was obsessed with winning Sega Genesis basketball video games.

My Biggest Obsession Growing Up

My biggest obsession growing up, however, was to become the best basketball player that I could be.  In grade school, I merely played basketball for fun and I was fortunate to be a pretty good player. Then I got to high school, and suddenly I blended right in with just about everyone else on the team. I fit in and played well, but I really didn't stand out. As a freshman, I scored about 4 points per game and we maybe won 11 or 12 games. The low scoring and the losses really bothered me. During that entire season, I often asked myself, "How did I go from being a pretty good player to feeling so average, so quickly?" Something had to change.

So, my obsession began.  During the next 3 years, I spent 3-4 hours per day in the gym, after school.  Being totally obsessed, I would double those hours on weekends and during summer vacation. I was so obsessed that I missed homecoming one year to spend the extra time working on my basketball skills. I was so obsessed that during a one-week fishing trip to Canada, I brought a basketball along and dribbled it, on the only rock-solid surface within walking distance, for 45 minutes each day.  Even well-intentioned people often told me that I had no life.  I obsessed about becoming a better basketball player and it paid off with results.  As a senior in high school, I averaged over 18 points per game, my team won 25 games, and our winning team competed in the state tournament.

"How Do You Try To Be Your Best, Without Allowing The Pursuit Of Excellence To Become Your IDOL?"

A couple of weeks ago, Coach Jack Bennett... an incredible mentor of mine... head basketball coach of the UW-Stevens Point's back-to-back national championship teams, national coach of the year, and an even better person... provoked some deep thought for me when he asked me a powerful question. He asked me,

Click to Tweet: "How do you try to be your best, without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your IDOL?" Jack Bennett #movetogrow #movetobeteams

An "idol" is a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered. When I received his email, I dropped everything that I was doing to read it over and over and over again.

Is My Book Becoming My Idol?

After a day had passed, I was a little concerned that I was allowing the pursuit of the book that I’ve been writing to become my idol. After two days, I did a 180° turnaround and began to think that writing my book was simply a hobby. After three days, I told myself that I'm dedicated, but not exactly obsessed. After four days, I was terribly confused.

Am I Dedicated Or Obsessed?

To clarify some things in my mind, I did some research on the words "dedicated" and "obsessed." Being dedicated is staying devoted to a task or purpose.... dedication is looked at positively. Being obsessed is filling the mind continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent... obsession is looked at negatively.

But is obsession really negative? From my experiences, there are good and bad elements of obsession. Obsession can be bad when you have a painful addiction, are never satisfied, try to be the best at everything, rarely recover, and neglect other important things in your life. Obsession can be good when you focus on your passions, try to be the best version of you, strive to reach your potential, enjoy every minute of your routine, celebrate your wins, and make regular progress.

Today, I wouldn't be compensated for my passion if I didn't have the drive, determination, resilience, and perseverance to become a better leader, speaker, and writer. So the question still remains... am I obsessed...or just really dedicated?

The Light Bulb Moment

The light bulb went on for me when I re-read Coach Bennett's question yet again. His question starts with the words "how do you..." instead of "can you..."  This implies that you absolutely can be your best without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your idol. It is not an all or nothing proposition.  Realizing this felt like I had removed a ton of bricks from my back. Pursuing excellence in a healthy and productive way is possible!  There are constructive and beneficial ways to pursue your dreams. [Perhaps the answer lies in what type of person you are, and how you get things accomplished.]

It takes a tremendous amount of dedication to be your best. I wouldn't be a few months away from a completed manuscript without being a little bit obsessed, as well as being dedicated to the process.  Truth be told, waking up at 4:45am every single morning is probably best described as an obsession.  Over the last couple of years however, I've tried to make my obsession work for me, not against me. I'm making sure that my obsession doesn’t control me.  I have control over my "bookends," which are the times between my early wake-up time and the girls getting up, and then after they go to bed at 8:15pm. Doing this allows me to still be great at my day job, spend quality time with my family, and exercise daily... all the while maintaining my pursuit of excellence.

So can you be the best without being a little obsessed? Not really. But can you try to be your best, without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your idol? Most definitely.

Move You, Move Others

Does your obsession benefit only you, or can you help others along the way?

Let's go back to my early basketball obsession. My obsession with practicing 3-4 hours per day inspired a number of my other teammates to do the same.  I'm hoping that my obsession with getting up early to work on my own endeavors will inspire others to seek personal growth at the highest possible level.

According to football legend Vince Lombardi, "Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work."

In high school, our most dedicated players helped each other to become the best team possible. During Coach Bennett's national championships, his dedication to pouring himself into his players and coaches on and off the court fueled their runs.

Click to Tweet: If you move yourself to pursue excellence, you'll move others to do the same. @derekdeprey #movetogrow #movetodevelopothers

ACTION: Reflect on the following life-changing question: How do you try to be your best, without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your IDOL? Write down the names of 3-5 of your mentors who share similar passions or obsessions. Then, ask each of them "the question" via phone, email, face-to-face, or text. The result... You, and your mentors, will walk away more inspired to make a difference and pursue excellence.

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[derekdeprey]

Thank You, Loyal Readers! I Have 2 Questions...

It’s hard to believe that six months have already passed since I launched my weekly blog, Derek’s Dose. I’m beyond thankful for all of you who are reading, as our loyal community keeps growing daily. You’ve taken the time to share encouraging comments, which means more to me than you’ll ever know.

Now I’m asking you to share what’s on your mind. While my mental log never seems to run out of content and topics, I only want to deliver what you’re most interested in… the best of the best! So this week I’m going to pause and ask you to share your feedback.

Within the next 48 hours, please reply to this email with your answers to the following 2 questions…

What type of blog content do you prefer to read about?

What specific topics interest you the most?

My Top 5 Posts

If you’ve recently joined Derek’s Dose, below I’ve included the links to my “top 5 posts” from the past six months…

“What Are You Putting Off That’s Bothering You?”

Eat The Banana, Not The Frog

“It Must Be Nice To Start Work So Late.”

When A Leader Gives, Everyone Grows

“Daddy, That Was The Best Day Ever.”

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[derekdeprey]

“I Have Off Today, But I Have To Work Most Of The Day.”

A couple months ago, I was on a flight to Florida to speak at a leadership development and time management event. As soon as the plane landed, I sent a text to the person who had booked me, so that he knew I had arrived and was available to help with setup. “Thank you! I’m at the tram to pick you up and will give you a tour of the area right away,” he replied, “Perfect!” I said. He went on to say, “I have off today, but I have to work most of the day…so let’s check the room that you’ll be speaking in right away.” I read his reply again to make sure I hadn’t misread it or misunderstood it. Nope, he meant it. He had to work all day on his day off.

I’ve been thinking about his statement for quite some time. Then, this past week, I led a quarterly off-site meeting with all of my managers, team leaders, and sales reps. During that meeting, it dawned on me and really amazed me, that four of the twelve people were supposed to be “off” that day. They had still attended with energy and enthusiasm, because they are passionate about what we do.

Think to yourself for a moment. Have you ever spent most of your “day off” working? I have, you have, and so have many other professionals. Do you often work during your vacation days? I must admit that I do. In fact, I used to think that working on vacation was a cool thing to do.

So, is it good or bad to work on vacation? Is it actually helpful, or could it be harmful? Unfortunately, there isn’t an easy answer. I strongly believe that the answer greatly depends on the person and his or her situation. There may actually be a time when working on vacation will help you catch up at a crucial time when work needs to be done. Or gives you back some family time so you’re not working late every night when the vacation is over and you’re back to work. With that being said, given that most of us have very limited vacation time, I would suggest that you avoid working during a vacation, so that you can be totally present with those that you spend leisure time with. Let me share my thoughts.

6 Myths About Working During Vacation

Myth #1: You need to work on vacation because you’ll get interrupted less.

Myth-BUSTER #1: Schedule blocks of uninterrupted time during your normal work-week. You can get big projects completed before and after vacation.

Myth #2: You need to work on vacation because it’s your passion.

Myth-BUSTER #2: Give your family and friends your time and attention during vacation. They might see your passion as work. Instead, be present, and make them your passion for this time.

Myth #3: You need to work on vacation to show your coworkers how hard you work.

Myth-BUSTER #3: Stop checking your email every five minutes during vacation. Don’t create the culture at your organization that you have to stay connected 24-7-365.

Click to Tweet: Working during vacation is pointless. Building lasting memories during vacation…priceless. @derekdeprey #movetolivewell

Myth #4: You need to work on vacation to get ahead at work.

Myth-BUSTER #4: Think again. If you’re one of the best in your profession, your plate will always be full…before, during, and after vacation.

Myth #5: You need to work on vacation to avoid potentially losing your job.

Myth-BUSTER #5: End the mind-game that you’re playing with yourself. If you’re great at your job, you won’t have to worry about your future. You receive vacation because you earn it.

Myth #6: You need to work on vacation because you don’t think that you’re coworkers can do your job.

Myth-BUSTER #6: Get real. The best leaders are secure, trusting of their teams, and willing to share responsibilities.

In a couple of weeks, I’ll be leaving on a family vacation to Disneyworld! I’m going to heed my own advice and for the first time ever, I won’t be checking my email. If there is an urgent matter, I can receive a phone call or a text. I won’t be posting a blog that week either.

I’m really grateful that I have actually experienced this wake-up call before our trip. It’s worth repeating…

Click to Tweet: Working during vacation is pointless. Building lasting memories during vacation…priceless. @derekdeprey #movetolivewell

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[derekdeprey]

Eat the Banana, Not the Frog

If you’re anything like me, your to-do list will always be too long. You have a bunch of never-ending projects to complete both at home and at work… the ones you’ll take care of when you’re “less busy.”  Some of your projects are seemingly huge, while others are relatively small.  In this post, I’m going to share my secret to actually accomplishing the monster projects.

What’s my secret?

Before I tell you about my secret, it’s important to go back to a small section of my post entitled “120-Minute YOUzone”  from last week.  Mark Twain once said, “If you eat a frog first thing in the morning that will probably be the worst thing you do all day.”  I have embraced Twain’s notion to some extent… although I did rename the concept “Eat the banana.”  What do I mean by this? Conquer the biggest project that epitomizes your  passions so that you’ll actually want to do it… i.e., eat the banana, not the frog.  Be someone who likes to wake up for a good reason, for something you feel passionate about, rather than waking only to face the mundane tasks that you’ve been dreading.

How do I know which banana to eat?

I’m probably the pickiest person in the world when it comes to eating produce. When I eat a banana, I prefer it to be yellow, with a little bit of green and absolutely no brown spots. Very few bananas will meet my specific criteria.

Just like there are very few bananas that are to my liking, there are very few projects that I care to spend my discretionary time doing.  To know if it’s something that you want to pour your life into, ask yourself the following 3 questions, which will help you keep the end in mind.

What projects have the potentiality of giving you 10 times return on your time? I call these projects “10Xers”.  This is a question of “results.”

What are you putting off that’s bothering you?  Spend some time examining your motivation.  Click on my previous post for more detailed information about this question.

What’s your reason for waking up?  Remember to always address your passions.  Click on my previous post for more detailed information about this question.

For me, 10Xers are “should-do’s” vs. “must-do’s — or, non-urgent, but important things.

How do you actually get 10Xers done?

Once you ask yourself the 3 questions, you should have a pretty good idea of what your 10Xers are.  Here are my 5 steps to help you actually achieve what you desire.

List Your 10Xers. My current 10Xers include the book I am writing,  my weekly blog posts, internal learning & development courses at the gym, my next keynote speech, final papers that I grade for the leadership class that I teach, and hiring of new sales representatives at the gym. While this list is always changing, it is always going to reflect the observations seen in the 3 questions above, to ensure that the items are 10Xers. Before moving on to the next item, ask yourself, “Is there anything on my list that I can delete?”  You want this list to be as lean as possible. For example, I thought about adding another social media platform to my day-to-day routine, but decided that it just wasn’t necessary right now.

Prioritize Your 10Xers. Once you have a list that you’re happy with, prioritize your 10Xers. Put them in order from most important to least important. If you are struggling to do this, ask yourself these questions for each 10Xer. Is the 10Xer time sensitive? What 10Xer largely impacts you, your family, your team or your organization? What are your priorities?

Add Specific Tasks Under Your Top Three 10Xers. Once you have deemed something a 10Xer, you have a lot of work ahead of you. Unfortunately, I usually underestimate the time needed to accomplish one.  To help me manage time, I chart the course for my top three 10Xers by breaking down the tasks that I need to complete under each 10Xer.

Schedule Your Top Three 10Xers with Tasks. Now that I’ve broken down the tasks for each 10Xer, I can schedule my time. My rule of thumb is to always schedule double the time that I usually think I would need, to ensure that I complete the project and don’t start my day in disappointment.

Be Not Afraid. Just start! Every day, eat the banana… or tackle your top 10Xer.  My sweet spot is 55 minutes because I can maintain energy and avoid burnout.  Best of all, I leave wanting more and then start the next day with momentum.

What will the results be?

I don’t know for sure what your results will be.  I would be willing to bet, however, that  you will be happier and healthier.  Your life will be full, and you will feel more accomplished.

For me, I’m happier and healthier.   I have accidentally created a side speaking and training business, as a result of being focused for 55 minutes per day for 5 straight years, including weekends.

How would you feel if you knocked out a few of your 10Xers in the next couple years?

ACTION: Eat the banana, not the frog. List only your 10Xers that you’re passionate about. Then, prioritize your 10Xers in the order that you want or need to accomplish them. Add specific tasks under your top 10Xer. Finally, eat the banana by scheduling 55-minutes per day, including weekends, to achieve what you desire.

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[derekdeprey]

Move You, Move Others