#mr indifferent

[waytray]

CGI Animated Short Film: "Mr Indifferent" by Aryasb Feiz | CGMeetup

[hyperfixations-and-such]

Just watch. It's definitely worth it.

[espiritualsan]

CGI Animated Short Film: "Mr Indifferent" 

[onejhu]

CGI Animated Short Film: "Mr Indifferent" by Aryasb Feiz | CGMeetup

[apartyofone]

Turning the corner, 2

Another milestone occurred today. I finally had a chance to speak to my brother on the phone. I emailed him last weekend about what's happening with X....and he was absolutely stunned.

I had been dodging his calls the last few days dealing with my tests -- he was also calling about those -- and once I had my good news, I realized it was time to have that conversation.

It was much harder than I imagined it would be. I've called him "Mr. Indifferent" at earlier times on this blog. I'd say it's mostly earned, but I might have been too harsh. We haven't lived closer than 2800 miles away for over 30 years. He used to live in Australia with his Brisbane-born wife, and just as he moved back to the US west coast, I moved east with my brood. We've had a very remote relationship -- always positive but never very deep. 

We finally connected and I had to take the call outside our building this afternoon for some privacy and focus. He said all the right things -- expressing happiness over my medical news. And shock and dismay over my impending divorce. 

It's going to be an incredible shock to my entire family as I had always portrayed X in the most positive light. Even when she didn't deserve it. I can imagine X won't have any such issues when she breaks the news to her family. I've never been close to any of them -- not a good situation and I take the blame for that. Over the years, X has used them to vent against me during the regular course of marriage. I have to think they're more than a little envious of the lifestyle X and I have been leading, so they'll be chuckling when they envision the financial fall I'll be taking.

But I digress: Just talking openly about X and the recent events to my brother was another real turning point for me. The cat is finally out of the bag to one of the few close family members I have left. I don't plan to tell my mother until the last possible moment. That's a problem for a still distant day.

Tonight I still feel the pain of the situation -- and probably will for a long long time. But the shock seems to be wearing off. 

I find myself with little motivation to try to bring her back to a discussion about "why". 

I'm becoming much more interested in "how", "when" and "where".