🖥️Trust me ˖𓍢ִ໋
Tags: SMUT, Oral (M receiving), Face fucking, Giving without receiving? Ig, Elliot Alderson (MM) x Reader Warnings: Referenced suicide, referenced self harm, reference mental health issues, smut, jealousy, references to other women, please read with caution as it could be triggering Setting: Quite a few months after show, MM Elliot, Non- established relationship, 3k words
Also lowkey i did not revise this well so lmk if anythings messed up
The night was still young, sun hanging lowly in New York's breezy but still hot air. The boardwalk stretched far, wooden planks aligned with some sticking up out of the ground, hazardous. The ferris wheel can be seen from where you and Elliot sit, out of order, while the seats blowing around wildly.
Summer air was nice, especially when Elliot asked to go hang out.
And he always wore that hoodie, and those black jeans that were slightly off hue to the jacket, hanging lowly on his hips. Even when it was 80 degrees.
But with summer heat, promised summer rain.
You peered up, chewing on gum as you noticed dark grey clouds littering the sky. “Looks like it’s gonna’ storm, we should head back, El”, you watched his eyes scan the sky as you said, words rolling off your tongue. He flicked his cigarette, looking back at you to respond.
“It’ll be ok.” He said as if apparent, not a worry across his features.
Elliot was always like that, from drugs or normally you didn't know. He was mostly because the world had been unfair to him and he could never be repaid. The pain he'd endured, and never talked about was something the world couldn't apologize for. He was the way he was because even when he did try to feel better, nothing went right, nothing was good in his life, ever.
He could say you were the only better thing in his life and mean it. The only one that listened without asking for more, the only one he was given by the world that didn't hurt. That could hurt, but wouldn't hurt.
Elliot normally wasn't there, wasn't conscious enough to have emotion, or show it either.
And when he showed you emotion, it wasn't obvious, a small glance paired with a smile. Or when he'd tell you about his attempt last winter, or even when he mentioned how he only smoked to feel less, not for leisure.
Small, cold, and wet droplets danced across your shoulders, pressing so lightly it was almost unnoticeable, almost. It broke you from your thoughts about the man that had been there for you when you hadn't been good to him. But he kept coming back.
The rain started quickly, a downpour that nobody could have predicted other than a metaphorical god himself.
He took his hoodie off, throwing it at you and grabbing your arm. “Elliot, I told you-” he cut you off, dragging you to who knows where. His light touch was different, he normally didn't grab you, unless he got angry, which happened to be a lot, even if not at you. He didn't mean to.
“Do you trust me?”, he spoke as you two jogged toward an abandoned building, a closed garage on the side of it facing the creaky ferris wheel. “Of course I do.”.
You threw his hoodie on in a rush, leaving it unzipped and throwing the hood over you to preserve your styled hair at least a little. The downpour continued harshly, wind and wetness hitting your face as you picked up speed.
The droplets smacked into your face, his hoodie keeping your upper body from the wetness.
…
Elliot dragged you into a small alley, weaving through trash cans and litter in the alley. He tugged on the handle of the faded green door, once, twice, and it finally budged open.
The place was warm, a small fan in the corner that you could barely see in the dim room. A switch flicked and suddenly the fan turned on, along with old computers, arcade games, pinball machines, and in the other corner, a popcorn maker.
Your eyes widened with elation, excitement caused by the new scenery. You spoke breathily, panting from the run over here, “El, what is this place, it’s sick!” you sang, a large smile flushed over you, cheeks red from running.
You rushed to the Galaga game sitting against the worn down walls of the building. His eyes watched you carefully, a guarded stare that he only had around you sometimes. He was uncomfortable, he didn't want you to know about this place, didn't want to risk it.
“It’s uhm… just this place–” he tried explaining, tone dying softly. His eyes were planted on anywhere but you, rushing around the room in hopes he could just disappear. You grabbed out your wallet from your backpack, pushing in a silver quarter. His eyes remained wide, as if he weren't saying something, but that was something normal for you two.
You whirled around to face him before pressing in the quarter, “Fine don’t tell me, but you’ve gotta let me come around here sometimes… Ooh! What if we invited Darlene, she’d love this place-” he cut you off with a soft grunt, eyes stuck on his shoes.
He ran his hands through his damp hair, small droplets leaving his head. He was mesmerizing, he always knew how to captivate you without trying.
Your eyes softened, cheeks growing hot as color rushed to them. “Is this… where you… do– or well…did all the computer shit?” you questioned, a little embarrassed you didn't realize earlier. He nodded, face wrinkled kindly.
You felt prideful to be allowed here, to be let into pieces of his life he didn't discuss with you. To be given the chance to know him, if even a little more. He was a closed off person, you’d never known anyone to be as close as you were with him.
And your friends always asked “Why do you even hang out with him” –and it was a difficult question to answer–because there was no real reason, other than you felt like the world wanted you there, by his side, just to make you both feel a little better if only for a minute.
He loomed closer behind you, watching the game play out. Not just Galaga, but also your expression. How you felt about knowing the intimate, different, and muddier details of his life he tried so hard to scrub you from. But he couldn't.
He couldn't let the only good thing in his life go. He couldn't just forget her. It was selfish to be so close to her, but he couldn't–no wouldn't– help himself. He knew the risks, the hatred others held for him that she could get roped into.
You were mesmerized, in awe at his openness. His vulnerability. But he needed this and so did you, everything felt correct with each other.
His hands planting themself on your hips broke your thought, fuzziness began. A warm, kind, needy feeling always leeched to the back of your head, something that needed him but didn't want to ruin him. Ruin his way of life or introduce new things that you knew he couldn't handle.
“Hey El”, you said softly, voice filled with the love he deserved and desired. You shifted from one foot to another, still slightly focused on the game. You pressed the buttons slowly, trying not to disturb the moment.
“Hi”, he responded in a voice just as sweet as yours, a new, smitten side of Elliot had slowly been being introduced to you, and you hadn't realized.
His nose bumped you, pressing softly on the nape of your neck, inhaling your shampoo in a oh too much way.
Your face felt like it was buzzing, excitement, and just the newness of the situation made you too happy to even speak. Instead electing to lean into his touch.
You hadn't realized.
His flirty, but still respectful remarks about your outfits for weeks, his invites to hang out more often since February, but most of all his touches. They were new. You thought maybe he had just felt more comfortable, but it was just you. He never touched Angela without her engaging, or even the brunette woman that he had promised you wasn't his girlfriend many months ago.
The brunette woman you were so jealous of. You wouldn't dare to admit after you had seen them at a bar downtown, and they went home together. You watched as they walked away and the hurt came flooding back, you pushed it back down.
You tried to wiggle him off your hips, but he held on tighter.
You abandoned your game, turning around, you faced him. His greyish eyes pierced into yours, thumbs running over the fabric of your jeans softly. “You- you said you trusted me. Do you still? …–Trust me?”. He hesitantly questioned, eyes wide, waiting, wanting.
You placed your hands onto his arms, holding them further into you. “Yes. I always will, El,” the confession slipped out of your mouth quickly.
And you meant it. He was a constant, he would never change, and maybe that's what you needed in your life. Through thick and thin you never left his side. Even when he grew distant, you were there, almost a background character in his life. But you weren't. You were his whole world just like he was yours.
All in an instant his lips were on you, crashing into yours clumsily. A low growl was pulled from him, he’d been waiting, and he finally had something fair in life. You. The world gave him something good.
He continued his assault with his lips, you wanted to back away, to tell yourself he was just lonely, but it felt so real. You couldn't. You shook your head into the heated kiss, not unnoticed by Elliot.
He mumbled into the kiss tiredly, “You look so, so good in my hoodie. I need you.” he begged. Fingers trailing up your hips to hook onto your belt loops. He tugged on your jeans as the kiss began heating up, his words enough to make you tingle in anticipation.
The dirty talk was different, filthy words you hadn't heard him say before. It was arousing, unable to be ignored.
His tongue lapped at your lips, parting them dominantly and shoving his tongue against yours. His hips ground into yours, already obvious erection pushing against your pussy perfectly.
You parted from him and sucked in a sharp breath, aching to feel his lips against yours again. His lips were perfect, perfect in a way that made you wonder why you didn't do this sooner. They were chapped but you couldn't have cared less, after all it was Elliot, it was all you’ve ever wanted.
He backed up, giving you a second, his gaze was fixed on your eyes, looking for any signs of discomfort. “Is this okay?” he questioned, hesitant but still demanding an answer.
You nodded, eyes locked onto his plump lips. “I need you”, he groaned. And just like that your lips were back onto his, he didn't just crave it, his body wouldn't let him not want it. Not want you.
“El” you moaned into the kiss, his grinding picked up, you were sure if you didn't stop you were both going to cum your pants. “El.” you tried stopping him before things went too far. Your fingers weaved into his dark hair, scratching his scalp slightly and tugging him away from you.
He backed away, a startled look on his face, "What's wrong? I’m sorry-" you cut him off quickly, taking his hands and placing them on your face.
“Do you want this?... Do you want me?” The question was important to you. You need to know, to know if it was part of his thoughts or something he wouldn't ever say no to. Your fingers rubbed the stubble on his lower cheek, eyes wide and sincere.
“Y/N, I've wanted to ever since Darlene first introduced me to you, I’ve wanted you when I was half dead, I’ve wanted you longer than you can imagine.” the sincerity in his voice broke you, you leaned back to kiss him harshly.
He began mumbling against your lips, “I’ve never wanted anything more, you are my person”.
He returned to the kiss immediately, quickly taking the lead. He continued his grinding against you, soft whines escaping his throat. You returned the friction, his tongue sliding across yours repetitively.
Elliot pushed you up against the pinball machine, leaning over you with a lustful and hungry stare. Eyes unfocused like he needed you, for survival.
He pulled at his shirt, breaking the heated kiss momentarily to shuck it off his slender body. Your jeans followed shortly after, thrown into the damp pile of clothes he had made. The rain outside pattered at the metal roof, the atmosphere was warm, comfortable with him.
You turned around to face him, knees still pressed against the machine. His quiet, breathy pants echoing throughout the large room.
Your finger glid over his chest, tracing his pecs and running down his stomach, stopping near a scar that looked too much like a ballistic injury. His stomach twitched softly, but allowed you to continue the light touches.
You sunk to your knees, the cold floor of the arcade sending shivers through your body, from the cold or him you didn't know. “You’re so handsome”, you commented, pressing a soft kiss to the scar and pushing your fingers into his belt loops.
He pushed his groin closer to you, a silent plea. Fingers already roughly grabbing into your hair as he urged you to continue.
You slid off his tight black jeans, tugging them off his thighs til they pooled at his ankles. He stepped out of them, keeping his hands threaded in your hair. Your eyes wandered his thighs, legs, groin, all of him.
You held onto his lower hip with one hand, the other tracing the lines littered on his thin thighs. Following the tracing with a kiss on each one you saw. The freckles and scars littered across his lower thighs appreciated by your mouth. You hadn't even noticed the tears he had been allowing, they dripped softly onto your head.
“I love you.” Was all he could say. And it was enough.
“I love you too, Elliot. All of you.”
You helped him pull off his underwear, allowing the strained fabric to release his girth. You stroked his length languidly, wanted him to hold out as long as possible, to make it count.
“Please baby, I need it… I need your mouth”, you didn't even have to ask him to beg, you teased his cock, running your fingers down the slit and taking his length into your mouth, hand resting on what couldn't fit.
His hips roughly thrusted into your mouth, eliciting groans and gags from you. His fingers pulled on your hair roughly. Your hand rested on his hips, brushing lightly over the deep scarring there, sorrow deeply rooted in your heart for him.
“Oh please…–” he whined out, breathless. His fingers clawed at your hair, the vibrations from the feeling going straight to his leaky cock. All in an instant, he dragged your mouth off of him, panting heavily.
“No, El. Don’t worry about me. I want to make you feel good”, you said as you pressed lazy, wet kisses to his thighs, feeling each divot from the scars and appreciating them, appreciating that he stayed around.
He whimpered at your words, quickly grabbing the sides of your face and forcing your mouth open widely. He ran his tip along your lips before continuing to facefuck you. Allowing you to reach for the base of his dick, you slowly stroked it as you sucked him gently.
You kept a leisurely pace, dragging out his nearing orgasm for as long as possible. Your mouth stopped every once in a while to drag your tongue along the underside of his erect penis.
He was already huffing loudly, muscles contracting on and off trying to hold off his pleasure. You slowly tugged off of him, much to his dislike. “You can let go El, I’ve got you baby”, and he shoved your mouth back onto him quickly, ropes of cum landing into your mouth and some on your chin.
“M’ sorry, sorry”, he let go of your hair, running a hand through his as you pulled off of him. You licked at his tip, pressing a soft kiss to the softening member, his cum still dribbling out of your mouth. You swallowed his seed, licking your chin and wiping the rest lightly.
“Don’t be sorry”.
Slowly standing up you released his legs, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. You stayed like that for a while, standing in that arcade sharing kisses, jaws moving with ecstasy. Euphoria washed over you, this was all you’ve ever wanted.
…
You kissed for a while, Elliot spoke first, breaking the kiss. “Last winter, when I… wasn't right. Someone asked me, why I had stayed so far.” he paused for a moment of thought, blue-ish grey eyes piercing into you. You understood without needing another word from him, relishing in the feeling of having all of him.
The rain was still slamming against the roof, wind whistling outside the building. Elliot began putting his clothes back on, underwear and jeans first. You followed by throwing on your shirt.
In an instant the door swung open, confident footsteps pushing through the arcade. You covered yourself quickly, unaware that the building was unlocked.
“Oh gross! Elliot you could've picked anywhere else…” her eyes scanned you quickly. “God took you long enough, I was getting tired of hearing about his little crush”. Elliot stared wide eyed, embarrassed.
He shucked on his shirt, walking over to Darlene and pushing her lightly. “Sorry Dar,-” you apologized, pulling on your jeans. She shushed you, getting popcorn from the machine and prancing over to a game.
“Is it still raining?” Elliot finally asked, eyeballing Darlene.
“Yea, there was a break a few minutes ago so you guys can run to the car and finish, whatever was going on in here, in there” she smugly commented.
“Thanks Darlene.” you commented sarcastically, brushing past her to kiss elliot and zip his hoodie up.
