i made an official welcome post [like 8 years into posting my fanfiction online]
Hello!
Welcome!
This is an official welcome post for this account.
I have seen many other accounts do this and I thought that it would be very beneficial for me to so as well.
Here are a few quick facts for you:
My name is Kyli
I am 23 years old
I am bisexual
I have been posting my writing online for about ten years now [started on wattpad, moved to tumblr]
It's very nice to meet you, if you are new to this blog. If you're a returning reader: hello, how are you? Either way, I hope that what you find and read are enjoyable. I do my best to make things that will resonate with more than just myself.
For those looking to request stories:
Requests are OPEN for the ROMANTIC TROPE PROMPT LIST ONLY
Less of a rule and more of a standard for myself is that I write with a gender neutral reader in mind. I try to write stories that almost anyone can enjoy. Pronouns rarely come up because I typically write in first person, but when I don't, I use they/them to refer to the reader. You are more than welcome to change these in your mind, but I will not change them in my stories.
Thank you for reading this message. I promise that I'm almost done.
Here are some important links:
A general navigation guide - this has links to a multitude of masterlists; if a project has four stories that are written for two or more characters from that project, then they are given an individual masterlist, but if those criteria aren't met, then they go on the miscellaneous masterlist
Romance Trope Prompt List - A collection of common tropes in romance stories that can be sent in as a request (more details through the link)
A collection of some OCs - stories told through multiple parts that follow the same singular character; still written in my gender-neutral reader style for the sake of accessibility
Album writing challenges - a collection of writing challenges where I take an album and craft a story for each song
My rewrite of the Supernatural finale - in an attempt to ease my mind and my heart, I rewrote the ending of Supernatural; it is on my personal blog, so the username is different
Thank you again for reading all the way through this. I know that it's a lot, but I've been on the internet for a while, so I say that justifies it. I hope to see you all soon!
OTHER SOCIALS:
Review Account
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/\\\V Album Celebration Day 6: Top Five /\\\V Songs!
We've made it!
It's the final day and I'm posting this at the last possible second lol
I have spent the last few days appreciating the history of As It Is in anticipation of their newest album. Now that it's out, I want to take a moment to offer my initial top five after my first listen.
I did spend most of the day listening to the album, but I did take the time to write out my initial top five earlier today. These are in no particular order. They're just the five that stuck out the most to me upon first listen.
If you wanna see all my other celebration posts, then click here!!
Lose Your Way and Find Yourself
I am not discussing this again. I have talked about this song three times now. It means a lot to me. I listened to it a lot when I was struggling. End of story.
2. If I Ever Lost You
This one is just fucking beautiful. I love the imagery so much. I also found myself have a lot of similar feelings to when I first heard "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie. I just think this song lands simultaneously like a gentle hug and punch to the chest.
3. What If It All Works Out
See number one on this list haha! This is a song that all of us need to hear every once in a while. When we're struggling to pull ourselves up, and when we're doing well to ensure that we're able to continue reflecting on our personal journeys. I just really adored it as soon as I heard it.
4. Live, Laugh, Love, Los Angeles
I am a sucker for a song with a saxophone. No, but truthfully, I am so happy to see these boys still having something to say about the world that we live in now. It is nice to see them stand on business. Which isn't new. I saw some people complaining about this song, but you quite frankly, did not listen closely enough to The Great Depression if you're mad about As It Is making a song that reflects politics and societal injustice.
5. I'm So Alive!
I love a good chorus moment. It is just such a perfect opening to the album and I think it really sets up the journey through the remaining tracks really well. I would love to go on for hours about this track but I think I'd bore you all to tears haha!
/\\\V Album Celebration Day 5: Top Five Bands That You Found Through As It Is (or As It Is-related avenues)
Hi!!
Oh goodness, we're so close to the album release! Yay!
Alright, today's prompt pretty much explains itself. It's a celebration for both the artist and the scene around them. I hope you enjoy.
If you wanna see the other parts of this little celebration then go ahead and click here!
Waterparks
Oh Waterparks. The chaotic energy you hold. Waterparks were the headliners of the first tour I got to go and see As It Is on. I had listened to a few songs beforehand, but nothing really could've predicted just how much I loved seeing them live. I've now seen Waterparks on tour twice and once at Warped Tour.
2. Chapel
Chapel is so fucking good. Oh my god. They were another opener on the above mentioned Waterparks tour and I absolutely fell in love. I found their sound to be so interesting and fun. Their songs are endlessly catchy and I do truly adore them.
3. Grayscale
I only found Grayscale because Patty was featured on the song "Come Undone". Even then, I only found out about that when the music video auto-played on YouTube once. I really enjoy their sound and vibe. They're very interesting. I really should listen to them more.
4. Holding Absence
I initially heard Holding Absence's lead singer when Dial Tones X came out as a single. After that, I sat down and gave Holding Absence's music a listen. It was a really great and honestly, they're another band that I should really sit and listen to more.
5. Artio
This is another band that caught my eye when Never Happy Ever After X came out. They were part of "Turn Back to Me" which was already my favorite track on that album. Every ounce of harmony and building that was added to the track just made me respect their creativity and talent. I'll be honest, I'm really bummed I didn't check them out sooner.
Welcome to day 4 of the /\\\V album celebration! Today's subject is top five lyrics from previous albums. I hope you enjoy!
If you wanna see the other days of this little celebration, then click here to check it out!
It's like my mind has mirrored walls / And you're standing in the middle - Sorry
I can barely explain this one. I just know that every single time I listen to this song, this lyric just tickles my brain. I love the imagery of it so much and I think it helps do a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to the story of this song. It's just amazing.
2. 'Cause I never felt so brave that January day I asked for help / You'll never be okay until you lose your way and you find yourself - Lose Your Way and You Find Yourself
The first song to make me go "I want a tattoo of that". I talked about this song on day one and how impactful it was for me. It was just something that felt so incredibly relevant to my life when it came out. Even now, it really helps me look back on that period and reflect on how much I've grown just within the last period of time.
3. Hello consumer / Just close your eyes / Listen close enough and this song might just save your fucking life - The Great Depression
Here we go. Kyli's getting back on her storytelling bullshit. I think this song and this chunk of lyrics does such a good job at setting up the world of this album. We understand the view of these characters and what kind of story we're getting into . It is just an amazing intro and I love it so much. The reimagined version is also very near and dear to my heart.
4. So take me in your arms / And lend me love and harm / They only ever feel the same - I CAN'T FEEL A THING
This might be my favorite song on this album. I just love it so much. A lot of "That's the Spirit" vibes. This lyric in particular is very similar to the lyrics from Sorry that I pointed out. It just tickles my brain in such a great way.
5. You took the fault in my scars and you made it ours - Until I Return
It's such a good line. It ties in so much of the song together. It sticks out so much and it always feels like it almost settles into my skin. I just really love it. I really don't have much else to say about it.
/\\\V Album Celebration Day 3: Top Five Merch Items
Welcome!
This is day 3 of my celebration of the upcoming As It Is album! Today is probably one of my more obscure choices since it's not actually music related at all. I tried to get photos when I could, but forgive me if I can't.
If you wanna check out the other days of this little celebration then you can click here!
Without further ado, here are some of my favorite merch ads
2017 Rose Sweatshirt - Made In America Tour
I think this was my first piece of tour merch for As It Is. It is my favorite. I especially love it because it was quite different from the merch that I remember seeing get sold at the time because this was like mid-okay. era. I wore this shit all the fucking time. I don't wear it as often, but I do still own it. I would upload a photo of mine because I cannot find one online, but I am quite frankly embarrassed of the shape it's in right now and don't feel comfortable doing that, I'm sorry.
2. The "who the fuck" Series
Photo: Depop
This is more of a collection of merch than anything else. I love the little series of "who/why the fuck" series of shirts. I own the "why the fuck are they back" t-shirts and I think it's so cool that there is a little thing that has become like a re-occurring joke over the last few years. I adore it. (I do know that plenty of people have made shirts that are very similar, but this is about as it is)
3. The Constellation Shirt
This is classic for this band. I owned this. I don't know where it ended up, but it felt like very single fan had one during the mid-2010s and you would just see it all the time if you spent any time in the scene. I think this shirt is going to follow this band for their whole career in a very special way and I think it's for the best... but I cannot find a photo of it and it's actually making me a little upset.
4. Damn Near All of the TGD: Reimagines Merch
Photo: Fearless
Every single thing that came out during this time was fucking sick. For personal reasons, I didn't end up buying anything from that line, but the designs just always tickle my brain. I know there's some still available on Fearless's website.
5. The KiTalbum Set for the Self-Titled Album
Photo: Frontiers
My personal pre-order bundle of choice. Maybe I'm biased but all the extra shit that comes with this is just great and I think it makes it worth the price. I am very excited about this, as you can imagine.
It's day 2 of my celebration of the upcoming new As It Is album! I am already having the time of my life. Today, we're taking a look at my personal top five music videos from the band for now.
If you wanna see day 1 or maybe take part in the celebration yourself, then click here to check out my original post about this celebration!
Once again, these aren't really in any particular order. They're just all in a general clump of five favorites, y'know? I am also a little picky with music videos. I love a good performance, but y'know what I like more? Storyline. Shocker. The writer likes a good story.
Alright, here we go!
Pretty Little Distance
This is mostly here because my older sibling and I have a joke about it. Like there is a storyline and I think this video is a beautiful fit for the vibe of the Okay. album and what the goal was. However, the biggest thing that really sticks with me all these years later is the memory of my older sibling walking out and going "Is that Ben?! His hair's so little!" and it really just kills me every time I watch it. Still say it all the time.
2. Balloons
It's funny that I just made a whole point about stories and then choose the video that's largely made of older clips, but listen. That is the story. It is a celebration and recognition of what was and what it meant. It's very touching. But even with it leaning into all of these memories, it doesn't feel stuck. It still feels like a fond look back but with a touch of looking forward and realizing what's to come in the future.
3. The Stigma [Boys Don't Cry]
There are two music videos from this era on this list. I talked day 1 about how I felt about the storytelling on this album on its own, but the music videos are another level. Especially this one. It's world-building in a way that the music may not be able to reach on its own. It has truly impacted my view of this album so much because it has truly highlighted what is important and what should be taken away from the story. I adore it and people should really take notes from both this video on its own and all the videos from this particular stage of As It Is's history.
4. Cheap Shots and Setbacks
I think this one might just be me being sentimental. If I remember correctly, this was the first music video I watched from As It Is. It naturally holds a very special place in my heart. I really think it is a glowing example of what pop-punk really was at the time. The storyline and the lyrics and everything around it was just what I would expect from a mid-2010s music video in the best way. I adore it. I rewatch quite often.
5. The Wounded World
This was the first of the Great Depression music videos and I remember exactly where I was when I first saw it. It was a shift for the band's sound and vibes and I remember being so fucking excited about there being a larger story across multiple videos. It was the coolest thing to me. Even now, I watch it and just feel a little pang in my chest because it was so fucking good at introducing exactly what to expect from this era of the boys. It was perfect at what it was trying to do.
Hello! Welcome to day one of my little celebration leading up to the new As It Is album that comes out July 17th, 2026!
For day one, I wanted to take some time to look back at the boys' whole discography and find my five favorites. These are in no particular order. It's all just a clump of favs.
If you wanna take part in this celebration, then click here for the original post with the next few days planned out! (I know I'm posting this really late at night where I am; I'm sorry)
Anyway, here we go!!
Patchwork Love
If I remember correctly, this is my sibling's favorite As It Is song and one of the first they ever listened to. It was right before I went to see As It Is live for the first time with them. I remember being so excited for the concert and that something that brought me so much joy was being enjoyed by someone I cared so much about. My sibling introduced me to a lot of my early pop-punk/emo music taste and I'm endlessly grateful to have something like that to connect us. This song will always have a special place in my heart for making me feel that close to my sibling during a time that I was endlessly anxious and feared that I wasn't really connecting with anyone.
2. Lose Your Way and Find Yourself
This song came out at the funniest time. I had just moved home due to some personal issues that I will not talk about on here. I always thought the lyric "Cause I never felt so brave that January day I asked for help" was so perfect because it lined up so well with what I was experiencing. At a time when I felt like I had done everything right and ended up at a dead end, this song aimed a light at me and really made me take a long time reflecting on myself and what I wanted going forward.
3. My Oceans Were Lakes
This song played every time I came home from school feeling like shit. Every single time. For a long time, I didn't believe it. I wanted to. That's why I played it so much. But I didn't. And then, one day, I turned on the song again while finishing up one of my last assignments for my masters program and something just clicked. I finally understood it and really let it sink in and settle into my bones and really believed it. I listen to this song with much kinder ears and a much lighter heart now, and I wouldn't trade the journey to that feeling for anything because it got me here.
4. The Coast Is Where Home Is
Meh, meh, girl from near the coast likes the song about the coast, meh, meh- SHUT UP! I listened to this song constantly when I was moving out of my childhood home and then even more when I moved back. It just tugs at a particular part of my heart. Even when I was moody teenager who wanted nothing more than to run anywhere else, this song reminded me that I still wanted to call my home, my home and that nothing was really going to change it. I really loved having something that caused that feeling.
5. The End.
To me, this cemented these boys as powerful storytellers. They use every ounce of their sound so intelligently to make you feel so much empathy for this character that we've followed throughout the album of The Great Depression. I have always said that this album plays in my head as a vivid movie that I feel like I've truly seen, despite it not existing. I don't know if I would call it a good intro to As It Is as a whole, but if you're trying to really pull someone in, it wouldn't be a bad one to have on your queue.
This is the week of the new As It Is album! WAHOO!
Anyone who has been my blog for literally any extended period of time (or remember my wattpad days lol), knows just how much this band means to me. They have soundtracked pretty much every major event of my life since middle school and I hope that can continue until I'm old and grey!
Now, with this new album coming out, I want to take some time to appreciate the past, present, and future of this band. I have decided that the best way to do this is to set up a celebration of sorts. Each day leading up to the album's release date, I am going to be doing a "top five" list (get it? since it's their fifth album?)!
I'll put the list of posts below this little rambling session. I encourage any As It Is fan who wants to join in to please feel free!
And on top of all of this, I am planning to get a few As It Is-inspired stories (but don't quote me on that because it has been tough getting stories out).
Thank you for reading! I hope you have a great day and without further ado, here is my official As It Is celebration list!
Day 1 - Sunday, July 12th: Top Five Songs
Starting out with a tough one. What are your favorite As It Is songs and why? Did they soundtrack a special part of your life? Is there just some part of it that you could never really shake? Tell me about it because I'm gonna make you learn all of mine!
Day 2 - Monday, July 13th: Top Five Music Videos
Storytelling isn't a new avenue for this band. What were some of your favorite stories told through their music videos? Which ones did you watch over and over again? They don't have to be your favorite songs; they just have to mean something to you!
Day 3 - Tuesday, July 14th: Top Five Merch Items
You don't gotta own them; you just gotta like them. What are some pieces of As It Is merch that you love. From t-shirts to pins to everything in between! (yes, you can include vinyls in this due to their variety and distinctiveness)
Day 4 - Wednesday, July 15th: Top Five Lyrics
May not be your favorite song, but damn that one just tickles a part of your brain. I wanna make sure we're focusing on the music more than anything, so what lyrics really just hit for you? Are they relatable? Do they remind you of a specific memory? Or is it just damn well written?
Day 5 - Thursday, July 16th: Top Five Bands That You Found Through As It Is (or As It Is-related avenues)
Which bands did you find through this little group. Whether it was through a collaboration, a tour, or just an old Patty Walters cover! Did you find some new favorites?
Day 6 - Friday, July 17th: Top Five /\\\V's Songs!
Upon first listen, choose an instinctual top five songs from the new album and tell us about them! What drew you to those songs? Did you pick the singles we've heard already or the unheard stuff? What kind of sound from those new songs do you hope to hear in the future of As It Is?
Hi! I'm going through high potential withdrawals and then I found your Karadec x reader fics and I'm literally thriving right now yours are the absolute best I've read 📚 🤎
Aww! That's so sweet! Thank you for reading! I'm glad you're enjoying them!
Romance Trope Prompt List: Blind Date + Dinah Madani [Punisher]
Title: Romance Trope Prompt List: Blind Date + Dinah Madani
Pairing: Dinah Madani X Reader
Prompt: Blind Date
Word Count: 1,554 words
Warning(s): brief mention of sick children (not detailed)
Summary: [Early Season 1 of Punisher] Sam Stein has decided that Dinah is too in her head and needs to take a night to worry about something that isn't work. He sets Dinah up with a neighbor of his who is the opposite of what Dinah would usually go for. But maybe that's exactly what she needs.
Author's Note: This was requested by a lovely anon reader! Love Dinah; she is the love of my life!
One more thing, I'm still playing around with 2nd person pov so let me know if you hate it or not.
Navigation Guide | Prompt List - Romantic Tropes | Original Characters Masterlist | Album Writing Challenges
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Dinah would never know how Sam talked her into this plan of his.
Maybe he had just insisted enough. Maybe she felt bad about keeping him at the office for so much overtime. Maybe she just wanted him to get off her back about being too fixated on her work.
Whatever the reason was felt irrelevant when the event itself felt like such a mistake before Dinah had even stepped through the door.
Sam had set up a blind date.
His pitch was... something.
"I've got this neighbor," he explained initially when trying to talk her into a night off. "Really nice, new to the city. You'd like them. Real lonely type- wait, that sounds bad, I just mean that they tend to be lonely and that you would like them, not that you would like them because they're lonely-"
"Sam," she stopped him. "I don't need help with my dating life."
"Oh, come on," he groaned. "It's one night with someone who isn't trained to kill people. Just give it a shot!"
She stared at him. "I'm too busy."
"I'm your partner, so I know that's bullshit."
She sighed. "When and where?"
He threw his arms up. "Yes! Oh, you won't regret this!"
Dinah was, in fact, already regretting this. Just while staring at the door of the bar.
But Dinah knew that if she didn't go through with this, then Sam would never let her live it down... and would probably keep trying.
You were pretty easy to spot when Dinah walked in. Even with no idea of what you looked like, it wasn't hard to spot the only person looking around like they were either looking for someone or scared of someone spotting them.
She fought the urge to grin at the sight before going to grab herself a drink and make her way to the table.
Your head only stopped swiveling when you heard your name.
You took much less convincing than Dinah did. Sam brought up having a friend that you might like and you lit up. Making friends and finding genuine connections in the adult world was harder than you had imagined it would be, so having someone help that along felt like a gift.
Sam had talked a lot about Dinah. About how tough she was, how hard she worked. However, he did fail to mention that Dinah may have been the most attractive person in the world.
You were scared that your mouth dropped open when you saw her. Or that your eyes went so wide that it was going to scare her off.
Dinah repeated your name and that was when you realized that you had in fact not answered her.
"Oh, um, yeah, yeah, that's me, hi," you said, holding out your hand for her to shake. She accepted before sliding into the spot opposite you. "It's... It's nice to meet you."
"You too."
There was a pause. God, you never really felt like you learned how to make small talk or have some kind of regular conversation.
"How long have you known Sam?"
But Dinah seemed to. You grinned. "Oh, I met him when I moved in. I dropped something while unpacking and he checked to make sure I wasn't hurt."
"That's very kind of him," she replied.
"It was," you agreed. "I've never lived in a city like this before, so it was nice to have a kind face."
"Why'd you move here?" Dinah tilted her head as she spoke. "This can't be the easiest choice for your first city."
"It was for a job," you shrugged. "I was working at a hospital in a rural area but the company that bought it shut the doors to save money. I figured a city like this would at least give me a few extra years than another rural place."
"God, that's awful. I'm sorry."
Another shrug. "It's the mindset of companies versus providers."
Dinah nodded, a sympathetic look on her face. "What field are you in?"
"Pediatrics. I'm a nurse," you explained.
"Lots of kids."
"Yeah."
"Lots of sick kids."
"Yeah." this time sadder and quieter. You shook your head, not wanting to ruin the vibe of the night with the more pessimistic parts of your work. "You work with Homeland Security, right? Sam said you were a co-worker."
Dinah nodded. "Yeah, Sam and I are actually partners now. We work together a lot."
"Wow." your eyes went a little wider. She furrowed her eyebrows for a second. "Sorry, it's just that you guys are very different, y'know? He's... Sam and you seem like a... soldier."
Dinah chuckled a bit. "Thank you, I think?"
"Oh, gosh, that came out wrong," you put your face in your hands for a moment. "I just meant that you seem very strong and like what I would imagine if I pictured some secret agent, bodyguard kind of thing. Am I making it worse? I feel like it's not getting better."
Dinah was fully laughing now, trying to motion for you to slow down and relax. "It's fine, it's fine."
You sighed, feeling the heat in your face reach obnoxious levels.
"You really don't need to worry. I found it very flattering."
"That's good," you replied. "Really would hate to ruin this date so soon after it started."
Dinah grinned.
"So, I... I have an idea of what homeland does, but that's mostly from tv," you talked with your hands, Dinah noted. It almost felt like a bit of a miracle that you hadn't knocked your drink over. "What do you guys actually do?"
And that was how the night went. Small talk about work and hobbies and small things about each other's history.
She learned that you baked all the time but never really ate any of it. Instead, it went into the break room at work for other people. You also grew up in a healthcare family some part of you felt like working there was right. You were the youngest, had moved the farthest away from home, and were very sentimental over all of your patients.
You learned... what you could. She told you that she was almost always busy, which made hobbies a little difficult. That she had spent time out of the country but didn't have much to say about it. You offered her a sympathetic look because you could see the distant look in her eyes as she spoke.dat Dinah really noticed how much of her life was truly just work. She knew that there was truly no real work-life balance in her life but having someone ask her for her hobbies and for her to have no real answer was just a touch embarrassing.
You didn't seem to judge. You actually mentioned some pottery class you were taking the next weekend and offered Dinah a spot. It was sweet.
That was the perfect word for it. Sweet.
Dinah felt disappointed when the night came to an end. It had been nice to spend time with someone who didn't see the world the same way she did. Who wasn't focused on the parts of the world that she felt like she always had to.
She walked you to your car. Quietly.
You were arguably more nervous now than you were during the rest of the night.
Because now the night had gone well. If it had all gone poorly, then you could both cut your losses and move on, but now things were good. You two had gotten along and know there was this escalating pressure for the end of the night to not end in a dumpster fire. And that felt significantly more difficult.
You never meant to stand awkwardly outside of your car door. But you found yourself standing there with no movement toward grabbing your keys and leaving. Instead, you were trying to weigh your options right now.
"I had a great time," you said, finally managing to muster up some sentence.
"So did I," Dinah replied. "We could... We could do this again, if you'd like. Maybe dinner next time? Maybe some time before that pottery class?"
A smile broke out on your face. "Yeah, that would be great. Dinner would be great. Um, I can give you my number."
Exchanging numbers maybe have been the most normal part of the night.
But it still landed in some kind of awkward moment as you found yourself with little idea of what to do but knowing that you didn't want to just walk away from such a nice night.
You took a deep breath before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Dinah's cheek.
"I'll see you later," you said with a small wave before going to get in your car.
"Yeah... yeah, see you," Dinah stepped back from the car to wave back at you. She felt like a fool for how much her face had warmed up at the action.
She waited until you had pulled away from the sidewalk to start moving toward her own car... which she had somehow parked right behind you. Dinah was never a huge fan of blaming things on fate, but that was an occurrence that was hard to argue about.
As she sat in her driver's seat, Dinah knew one thing: she really couldn't wait to have dinner with you.
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Author's Note: Because she deserved so much better than fucking Billy
Hearing that Sebastian Stan might play Victor Zsasz has given me such a rush of joy and hope that I don’t really give a shit if it’s true. Just the chance to see Zsasz again is enough.
Hi there! I was wondering if you could do “mistaken identity” with Dmitry from the Anastasia broadway musical? I was scrolling on Tumblr and found you recently; keep up the great work!
Hello my dear! Here's your request! I hope you enjoy it <3
Warning(s): non canon compliant (changed the ending, sue me), lying,
Summary: Dmitry's time in Paris is interrupted when someone confuses him for a childhood best friend. What could have been easily cleared up in the moment spirals into something much bigger and leaves him feeling like there may never be a way out.
Author's Note: I know I said I was going to wait to do this so I could work on some writing challenge stuff, but I really want to get some of these requests done pre-pride.
This was requested by an anonymous reader here on Tumblr!
I'm also still playing around with 2nd person pov, so let me know if you vibe with it.
Navigation Guide | Prompt List - Romantic Tropes | Original Characters Masterlist | Album Writing Challenges
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Truly, it all could have stopped after the first day.
That day where Dmitry was wandering the streets of Paris on his own. Hands tucked in his pockets and mind full of anything other than where he was going. Anya vanishing into the wind as if she had been nothing but a figment of his imagination. Vlad vanishing in the chaos of Paris that had invited him in with open arms.
These were the times when Dmitry had wished that he simply remained in Russia. Where he knew his place. Where he could feel like he ruled his small corner of the world.
Paris was not that.
His thoughts must have been enough to silence the outside world. The voices and steps and music. Because the next thing he knew, there was a hand on his arm, forcing him to turn around with a force that only matched an owner accusing him of theft.
He was clearly shocked when he turned around. More shocked when he was met with the smiling face of you.
"Oh, I knew it!" your voice was excited and bright. You touched a hand to your chest. "Oh, Benjamin, it's so good to see you!"
Dmitry paused. Benjamin?
You paused, a clear moment of disappointment pulling at your features that you clearly tried to mask. "It's me! Remember?"
You said your name like Dmitry would have heard it a thousand times. It was still a mystery to him.
"You have to be joking," you continued. "You're going to stand there and pretend that you don't recognize someone that you practically grew up with?"
Dmitry could not have given a reasonable explanation for what came out of his mouth if someone had held him at gun point, "Ah, yes! I'm sorry! My eyes must be getting weaker with my old age."
You scoffed and hit his arm. "You are the same age as I am and I recognized you from across the road, Benjamin. I appreciate your jokes and tricks even less now than I did when we were children."
He took a beat to come up with the best course of action here, "You're right, I'm so sorry, dear friend."
He didn't have a reason for the kindness that he was showing to this stranger, but he found it hard to care about such reasoning when you stepped forward and hugged him.
The hug was warm. Familiar despite him having no true history with you. Was this your way? To hug people as if they were the most important person you had ever met? Dmitry was beginning to feel jealous of this long-lost Benjamin.
"I have missed you so much," you mumbled to him. The words were so sweet he could have been convinced that honey was poured directly into his ear. He could have melted.
You stepped back and his mind was still spinning.
"Oh, I wish I wasn't so busy." you frowned at him. "My mother has given me a whole list. We must find some time to spend together."
"Of course," he agreed, assuming that such a time would never come.
"I have a great idea!" you grabbed his arm. Those words didn't always lead to the best conclusions for him. "Meet me in this spot tomorrow at this time. We can go great something from a nearby shop. How does that sound?"
"Sounds perfect," he replied, already planning on how to avoid the area tomorrow. "I'll see you then."
"See you then!"
You gave him one more hug before rushing off again. And in a matter of fleeting seconds, you had left some kind of mark on Dmitry. One that he may never understand and may never want to.
He never planned to go back to that spot. Never. He planned to spend the next several days avoiding the area with every ounce of his power.
But something drew him back.
Maybe it was some deep desire to show you kindness. Maybe it was his loneliness pushing him.
All that he knew was that he somehow found himself walking slowly to that very same spot the next day.
One of the most vivid memories he would have in his life would be the bright smile on your face when you saw him again. He got another hug that made it feel like whatever poor choice he was making was definitely worth it.
You two spent the day roaming. Walking from place to place. You would tell stories. Dmitry would agree with them. Laugh in the right places, agree in the right places. It was an old skill for him at this point. Not something new for him.
A good person would have never let it get to this point.
A somewhat good person would have never let it go past the first day.
Instead, Dmitry came back the next day.
And the next.
And soon he had met you every day for a week.
You would walk at times. You would find small shops for treats and food that Dmitry would have never dreamed of stepping foot in. There was one day when you sat together and you simply read to him. For hours. And he loved every second of it.
He continued to laugh and agree with your stories and memories. At some point, it began to feel less like lying and more like he simply was Benjamin. That he had stripped the skin from himself and wore this Benjamin's face around like a silly mask.
He told himself every night that it would be the last time that he saw you. But every morning, he would find himself justifying turning that corner, walking down that road, smiling when he met your eyes. As if a force called him to you. As if you were some kind of siren creature and your song was kindness instead of calling Dmitry to his death.
Dmitry had never planned on telling you the truth. Truly, he didn't. He thought that one day he would allow "Benjamin" to disappear into the crowd and never be seen again.
And then, you invited him to dinner.
It was after your day spent together. The second where you had spent most of the time simply reading to him.
You had made it back to the usual meeting spot. At some point, he had grabbed your hand. Likely when helping you up from where you two had been resting before. He had no reason for why he had yet to let go.
He was ready to say his goodbyes and continue on his way. He would probably do the same thing as last time: promise to not go back tomorrow but be there bright and early to keep you company.
But you spoke before he could even entertain that plan, "I should have asked you earlier, but my mother is making a lovely dinner tonight. She asked me to invite you."
Dmitry's voice failed him for the first time in a long time.
"Obviously, if you do not want to go, then you don't have to, but I would like for you to," you added.
He took a breath.
His momentary hesitation was enough to get you to attempt to escape the silly idea, "You know what? Never mind, ignore what I said-"
"I need to be honest with you."
Dmitry didn't let go of your hand, unable to unclasp his fingers to allow you a chance to leave him if you were angry. You stared at him with big, expectant eyes.
He paused. It was as if the wide-eyed look you gave him was enough to stop him dead in his tracks for a few seconds.
"What," you asked.
He took a breath. "I'm not Benjamin."
It was your turn to pause. Just for a few moments before you spoke up again, "I must be honest with you then."
His eyebrows furrowed at your sentence.
"I knew that already."
Dmitry's jaw fell slack at your confession. "You knew? How could you have possibly known?"
"I had my suspicion on the second day when you seemed to hate that pastry we got," you explained with a simple shrug of your shoulders. "Then, I started slipping in a few... telltales about our- or my childhood and you would just agree with everything."
He ran his free hand over his face. Again, he had never pulled his hand out of yours.
"My parents are aware, as well," you added.
"Why never confront me? Why not say something?"
You tilted your head, as if studying him. "You seemed as if you needed it."
He looked confused.
"You seemed lonely," you admitted. "Every time I saw you, you seemed lost. And who would keep up such a ridiculous act where the only prize was company, if they weren't lonely?"
There was no response.
"Come," you said, tugging on his hand. "My mother has spent ages making sure dinner was good enough to impress you."
The idea of someone putting so much thought into doing something for him- to impress him- was enough to shock Dmitry into simply following along as you guided him.
You twirled him through turns and crowds as if you had choreographed the walk beforehand, and he had merely missed rehearsals.
"Wait!" his voice was sharp enough to spook himself. You too had hit a barren stretch of road.
You turned around with a small laugh tickling your lips. "What could you possibly need now? Have we not gone over- Oh!"
He dragged you into a hug. A strong hug. Almost stronger than the one that you had given him on that first day you had seen him in the street.
There may never be a time when Dmitry feels safe enough to explain everything to you. The story of Ana and Vlad and the great con that almost was. About fleeing and the ballet and being left alone on that bridge. But he was beginning to believe that you would never ask him to. Not until he was ready.
Because for now, you were hugging him back. Holding him as if he were an old friend. As if he hadn't lied about who he was. As if he hadn't given you every reason not to show him an ounce of kindness.
And that one action may be enough to keep him out of that fog that he had spent so long stuck in.
