Fact one: Male clowns can be milked Fact two: There are no known female clowns, clowns reproduce asexually Fact three: True clowns use full body costume and makeup to conceal their chitinous black, or bleached-white if they have reached elder status, exoskeleton Fact four: Clowns have been known to hunt in packs, known as 'troupes' Contrary to the popular public conception, clowns don't prey on children. They love children, and genuinely seek to provide them joy and entertainment. This also
Fact one: Male clowns can be milked Fact two: There are no known female clowns, clowns reproduce asexually Fact three: True clowns use full body costume and makeup to conceal their chitinous black, or bleached-white if they have reached elder status, exoskeleton Fact four: Clowns have been known to hunt in packs, known as 'troupes'
Contrary to the popular public conception, clowns don't prey on children. They love children, and genuinely seek to provide them joy and entertainment. This also spreads to good parents, and the child-at-hearts.
It is teenagers that clowns are most likely to prey upon. If a clown has started preying on children, it is likely to have gone feral and is outcast from its troupe.
Clown milk is ink black and has a watery miniscus, analogous to a flavoured skim milk. It has a strong odour of fairy floss, or 'spun sugar', and its fumes are highly combustible.
When drunk it has a powerful mind-numbing narcotic effect, shutting down higher-order reasoning abilities, and fills the imbiber with a blissful, delighted euphoria. While outwardly it has the appearance of being a powerful narcotic, it accerelates the heart rate and heightens the blood pressure, as well as making the imbiber far more reactive to thrills and excitement, making it more analogous to an incredibly potent speed ball.
It is believed clowns use this to lull their victims to a false sense of safety and security, and to make their audience more reactive to their performances.
Clowns will try to feed at least once every three days, and after feeding will excrete milk and collect it in glass or earthenware containers, whenever possible.
Clowns can survive for months without feeding, but become extremely violent and predatory in such times of fast, being known to dig through concrete foundations if it smells preferred prey hiding in a basement or, on one known occasion, a fallout shelter.
If approached by a clown, it is best to demonstrate that you are a friend, and to request balloon animals, juggling, or other known circus-arts performance, to placate it. Pray that it has fed recently.
