Square: I2 “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t”.
Rating: Teen.
Summary: Steve has a dilemma, and Brock helps him.
Major Tags: Angst, tough decisions, dilemma.
Additional tags: My entry for the @marvelrarepairs Marvel Rare Pairs Round 5. Card MRP-127.
Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.
@saiyanprincessswanie
My native language is Spanish, so I wanna improve my English writing skills. Please let me know if you notice any mistakes, and I will correct them.
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Like the kind of decisions that, no matter how you make them… always turn out wrong.
Steve Rogers stood in front of the window, watching the raindrops slide down the glass in irregular lines. His reflection distorted with every movement of the water, as if not even his own image could hold steady.
He held the file in his hand.
Crumpled at the edges from the force with which he’d been clutching it.
He hadn’t opened it again.
He didn’t need to.
He already knew what it said.
He already knew what it meant.
The door swung open without warning.
“You’re getting wet without even being outside.”
Brock Rumlow’s voice filled the room.
Steve didn’t turn around.
“No.”
“Of course you are.”
Brock shut the door with his foot, letting the sharp thud announce his presence.
“That kind of look…” he continued, stepping closer, “always means the same thing.”
Steve clenched his jaw.
“I don’t need an analysis.”
“No, but you’re getting one.”
Silence.
Brock stood beside him, looking out the window too.
“What is it?”
Steve hesitated.
A split second.
Long enough for Brock to notice.
“It’s serious.”
“Yes.”
“And you’re overthinking it?”
“Yes.”
Brock let out a small laugh.
“Then it’s definitely serious.”
Steve finally turned around.
He handed him the file.
Brock took it without haste, opening it with an uncomfortable familiarity.
His eyes scanned the pages quickly.
Data.
Locations.
Targets.
Estimated collateral damage.
And then, he paused.
A slight raise of an eyebrow.
“Wow.”
He closed the file with a soft thud.
“Yeah… this is ugly.”
Steve crossed his arms.
“If we act, civilians die.”
“And if you don’t act?”
“The target moves.”
“And does something worse.”
Steve didn’t answer.
He didn’t need to.
Brock tilted his head.
“So, we’re in a classic scenario.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
He tapped the file lightly.
“Whatever you do… You lose.”
“There has to be another option,” Steve said finally.
Brock looked at him.
“Sure.”
“What is it?”
“Accepting that there isn’t one.”
The answer was immediate.
Cutting.
Steve shook his head.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“It works exactly that way.”
Brock took a step closer.
“The world isn’t clean, Rogers.”
“I didn’t say it was.”
“But you act like it is.”
Steve held his gaze.
“I act as if it could be better.”
“And that’s what gets you into these kinds of situations.”
A pause.
“Because you want to save everyone.”
“Because it’s the right thing to do.”
Brock let out a brief laugh.
Without humor.
“There’s no such thing as ‘right’ here.”
“Of course there is.”
“Not on this page.”
He held up the file.
“There are only consequences here.”
Steve clenched his fists.
“Then we choose the lesser one.”
“And you decide which one that is?”
“Someone has to.”
“Yes.”
Brock took a step back, studying him more closely.
“And that someone is you.”
It wasn’t a question.
It was an accusation.
Steve didn’t defend himself.
Because he couldn’t.
Because deep down… it was true.
“If we attack,” Steve said, “innocents die.”
“Yes.”
“If we don’t attack, the target escapes and could cause something worse.”
“That’s true, too.”
“Then tell me,” Steve looked him straight in the eye, “what would you do?”
Brock held his gaze.
One second.
Two.
“I attack.”
The answer was immediate.
Without a doubt.
“Without thinking.”
Steve frowned.
“Of course I’d think about it.”
“Not enough to stop me.”
He stepped closer again.
“Because I understand something you’re still trying to avoid.”
“What is it?”
“That sometimes there’s no way to win.”
“So, you just… choose?”
“Yes.”
“And you live with that?”
Brock shrugged.
“Or you ignore it.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I know.
“If you do, Brock continued, it’s going to haunt you.
“I know.
“And if you don’t…
“It will too.
Brock nodded.
“Exactly.
He pointed to the space between them.
“There you are.
Trapped.
Steve closed his eyes for a second.
The rain kept falling.
Constant.
Unrelenting.
“I don’t want to choose who lives and who dies.”
“No one does.”
“You don’t seem to have a problem with it.”
Brock let out a small laugh.
“Oh, I do.”
“It doesn’t seem like it.”
“Because I don’t stop.”
Steve opened his eyes.
“I do.”
“And that makes you better.”
A pause.
“But it also makes you slower.”
“And sometimes,” Brock added, “slowness kills more people.”
The words hung in the air.
Hard to ignore.
Steve looked at the file again.
Then at the window.
Then at Brock.
“If I do this…”
“Yes.”
“There’s no turning back.”
“There never is.”
“And if I don’t…”
“Neither.”
Silence.
The rain.
Steve took a deep breath.
“I hate this.”
Brock nodded.
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Yes.”
He crossed his arms.
“If one day you stop caring… then we really have a problem.”
Steve exhaled slowly.
He looked at the file one last time.
And made a decision.
“I’m going to give the order.”
Brock watched him.
Assessing.
“Yeah… that’s what I thought.”
Steve didn’t smile.
There was nothing to celebrate.
“And I’m going to take the heat for this.”
“I thought so too.”
There was one last silence.
“Hey, Rogers,” Brock said before turning toward the door.
Steve looked up.
“What?”
Brock glanced at him over his shoulder.
“Welcome to the point where no matter what you do…”
