The Boy with the Bread
part 8
summary:
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I was left standing. He was always going to pick her, and I was the fool who kept hoping that he would someday pick me.
I left his home, carefully walking outside, I glanced around and my eyes found Prim. She was putting the fallen snow into a bucket rather quickly.
Walking over to her, “What are you doing?” I county help but be curious over what was happening.
“Gale, “ she seemed to think of something before continuing. “The Peacegards whipped him, he’s in bad shape. The snow, I have to bring it to him.” Gale? He was injured?
I followed Prim into her home, and everything felt like chaos. Katniss was a mess, crying and screaming. Peeta was holding her back, Ms.Everdeen, was working on Gale, who seemed to be dead. Blood was everywhere.
I couldn't breathe. I made eye contact with Peeta who only casted me a glance before turning his attention back to Katniss, she was bleeding. I shouldn't be here, I ran out the door trying to breath the smell of blood filled my whole being, Gale’s lifeless body was playing like a loop thru my mind.
I don't know how I made it home, but I did and quickly made it into my room.
It was too much, again I had gotten my hopes up, and again I was hurt, it was a never ending cycle of pain. And now Gale is bleeding out in Katniss' home, everything was too much.
I lost it. I threw my dresser onto the floor, ripped my mirror off the wall and smashed it onto the floor. Someone was screaming and destroying my room. It was me. I had completely lost it, everything had become too much for me to handle.
I don't know how long I was there for but I do know that once I regained consciousness, my entire room was gone, everybit of furniture had been completely destroyed. And I laid at the center of it all. I was sobbing, so hard that I didn't even notice that my room door opened. My mom had returned to see the destruction I made. She didn't yell or try to scold me for the mess, instead she joined me on the floor and wrapped her arms around me.
“Shh, baby it's ok, I'm here.” she spoke so softly as she held on to me so tight. “Let it out baby, it's ok, I can take it.” And she did as I sobbed into her arms. She didn't once loosen her grip. She didn't once let go.
“Why am I so hard to love, why is loving me so hard?” Why am I so unwanted? Why do people struggle so hard to want me?
“I love you, I love you so much (Y/n).”My mom spoke as her grip around me tightened. “Let my love for you be enough (Y/n).” I wish it could be. But it wasn't, and I think that she knew that.
“I’m sorry.” It was all I could say.
“It’s ok, as long as I’m here you don't have to shoulder this pain. As long as I’m here you will always have someone who loves you more than life itself.” I let myself break down in her arms, knowing that she wouldn’t leave or let go.
I don't know how long we were there together, but the sun was already setting by the time I had managed to pull myself together.
“You ok?” I looked into her eyes and she looked so tired, she must have just come home from working and saw the mess I was in. I felt so guilty she deserved her rest, but here she was taking care of me instead.
“Yeah, thank you mom,” there was something I needed to do. “I need to see Gale. the Peaceguard.” She seemed to understand, as she let me go, and pulled me up to stand with her.
“Go.” She spoke with a tired smile.
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Working on part 9 as I upload this!!