𝐌𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
chapters: prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, ...

seen from Austria
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
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seen from Italy

seen from China
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Japan

seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China

seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from China
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seen from China
𝐌𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
chapters: prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, ...
synopsis: before the fame, the tours, and the headlines, there was you and billie. your families became quick friends, but how could they not? between shared choir rehearsals, homeschool lessons, and a love for music, you and billie were practically inseparable. raised in a strict, fundamental faith, you were taught to be careful with what you felt, so anything beyond friendship with girls was something you never dared to name. still, she was always there; your girl next door, your best friend, your almost-something you both pretended not to notice. it lived in the small moments, the lingering glances, the way silence never quite felt empty between you two. and even when life began to pull you in different directions, one thing remained true: some people are temporary, but billie never was.
pairings/au: singer!fem!reader x bsf!billie
series warnings: intended lowercase, fluff, angst, (possibly smut?), religious themes and guilt, mild familial homophobia, heavy mental themes.
disclaimer: i want to say that i was very moved by @fleurfiles's fic 'fable and truth', and it inspired me to also express my upbringing, current thoughts on faith, and how to affected me within my series. in no way am i intending to copy it! if you're reading this and have also gone through the same experience, i hope you feel seen and safe within this page. love ya! 🤎
a/n: hi guys! first fic post kinda nervous… but i am so excited to make this fic! i have 10 chapters planned so far and the first chapter is coming soon! if you're into super detailed fics, this is gonna be for you! i am also always open to ideas so feel free to send me an ask. i hope y'all enjoy this! 🤍 also i know this looks hella basic… i'll fix it when i figure out tumblr, okay? 😔 thank you @byeilish for helping me get the perfect shade matches for the images!
𝐌𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞
w/c: 3.5k
warnings: fluff, religious background and references
pairings/au: singer!fem!reader x bsf!billie
chapters: p, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
- late august, 2016 -
nothing beats the feeling of summer air against your skin.
even after a week at the beach, after the peeling sunburns and tangled saltwater hair and too-sweet mocktails from the resort bar, you still couldn’t get enough of it. the warm breeze pouring through the cracked car window felt grounding somehow, like something to hold onto before summer disappeared for good.
outside, the californian highway blurred past in streaks of orange streetlights and dark hills. everyone had finally settled down after a quick fast food stop, complete with fries and milkshakes. now, the only thing filling the van was the low sound of worship music drifting from the radio up front. your dad hummed absentmindedly along to it as your mom scrolled on her phone in the passenger seat.
with a sigh, you pressed your forehead harder against the cool window and adjusted the tangled cord of your earbuds beneath your hoodie. justin bieber’s ‘my worlds’ acoustic album played loudly in your ears, something you put on to drown out the radio.
the vacation had been fun. objectively, at least. late-night card games in the resort cabana. running barefoot through hot sand. fries stolen off your dad’s plate while your mom pretended not to notice. all week, your family kept calling it “quality time.” but sometime around the fourth day, homesickness settled heavy in your chest.
by the last afternoon, even packing your beach bag felt exhausting. you’d turned down spikeball with your parents and sat alone near the water instead, letting the tide wash over your ankles while thinking about home. thinking about billie.
you’d only been away from your best friend for a week, but somehow that felt longer than the entire summer combined. the thought alone made your chest ache in a way you didn’t entirely understand.
your phone suddenly buzzed in your lap.
incoming facetime call: bil 🐎🖤
you smiled before you could stop yourself. “finally,” you muttered under your breath, swiping to answer.
billie’s face appeared instantly, grainy in the dim lighting of her room. red led lights cast everything around her in a deep crimson glow, and somewhere behind her, you could hear faint rap music playing through a speaker. for the first time all night, you felt yourself relax.
“hey,” billie said, leaning closer to the camera. her platinum hair looked messy, oversized hoodie sleeves covering half her hands. “you almost home yet?”
“yeah,” you yawned, your voice rough from exhaustion. “about an hour out.” you shifted against the car door, the seatbelt digging uncomfortably into your shoulder as the van rolled over uneven pavement. outside, passing headlights flashed briefly across the inside of the car before disappearing back into the dark.
pulling the blanket tighter around yourself, you squinted down at the screen. “it’s late, though. why aren’t you asleep yet, b?” billie stared at you for a second like you’d personally offended her. then her eyes narrowed suddenly. “both earbuds in?” she asked. you nodded once.
“okay, good,” she said, lowering her voice like she was about to share classified information. “bitch, it’s literally eleven thirty. when have i ever slept before midnight?”
you nearly choked on your own laugh, pulling the blanket higher over your mouth to hide it. your parents hated cursing. hated was honestly putting it lightly.
the first time twelve-year-old billie accidentally said ‘shit’ in front of your mother, she felt like she was apologizing for a federal crime for weeks. unfortunately, years later, billie’s vocabulary had only gotten worse.
you snorted quietly, earning an inquisitive glance from your dad through the rearview mirror. “it’s billie,” you said with a small smile. he smirked faintly. “tell her your mother and i said hello.” the sound of billie laughing through your earbuds immediately made something in you soften.
you weren’t sure why it always affected you so quickly. maybe because it sounded familiar in a way home did. easy. warm. like slipping into your own bed after a long day.
it had always been like that with her.
ever since your family moved into the house behind the o’connells in highland park when you were seven, billie had somehow worked herself into every part of your life. your parents became quick friends with maggie and patrick, and because both of you were homeschooled, nearly every weekday ended the same way:
unfinished math homework abandoned on kitchen counters while you and billie disappeared outside until sunset. you still remembered the summer billie became convinced fairies lived in the woods behind your neighborhood.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
“y/n!” nine-year-old billie whisper-yelled from the grass, urgently waving you over toward the collection of sticks and leaves spread around her. “go grab berries from the back bushes. fairies like colorful food.”
you narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “you literally just made that up.”
“did not.”
“did too.”
billie ignored you completely, her tongue poking out in concentration as she dumped flower petals into a plastic bowl. dirt smudged up both of her wrists. “maybe mushrooms too!” she added. “fairies probably love mushrooms.”
you wandered toward the bushes anyway, shaking your head to yourself while picking tiny blackberries from the branches. when you came back, billie had somehow found an actual mushroom… and was actively trying to eat it.
“BILLIE—”
you slapped it straight out of her hand before she could bite down. the blonde stared at you, stunned. “what?” she asked defensively. “what do you mean, what?” you whisper-shouted. “you could literally die!”
billie blinked once, then shrugged beneath the sunlight filtering through the trees above you. she admitted. “i was trying to taste test for the fairies. they’ll hate us if it tastes bad.”
you dissolved into horrified laughter, grabbing her shoulders while she started laughing too. it was loud, uncontrollable, belly-deep laughter that echoed through the backyard. the kind that made your stomach hurt.
the kind that always seemed to happen when it was just the two of you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
even now at fifteen, being around billie still felt just as easy.
conversation never really stopped between the two of you; it simply drifted from one thing to another, filling every silence before it could ever feel awkward. through your earbuds, you could hear billie humming absentmindedly to herself while she adjusted something offscreen, probably messing with the sneaker collection scattered across her bedroom floor.
the camera tilted for a second before settling again, giving you a blurry glimpse of scattered clothes and what looked like at least three empty water bottles near the edge of her bed.
typical.
“oh,” she said suddenly, turning back toward the camera. “finneas told me to tell you he misses you.” you snorted quietly. “he saw me, like… a week ago.” “yeah, well, apparently that was devastating for him.” billie rolled her eyes dramatically. “he says he needs your vocals for his new tracks.”
a smile tugged at your mouth despite yourself. finneas had started taking music more seriously lately, spending hours shut away in his room producing songs for his band while dragging you and billie in every few days to record random background vocals or harmonies.
“why doesn’t he just get you to sing them?” you asked, fiddling absentmindedly with the frayed sleeve of your hoodie. billie shrugged, her red led lights flashing faintly against the silver chains around her neck. “i asked him that.” she lowered her voice in an exaggerated impression of her brother. “‘it’s not the same, billie. i need more depth.’”
you laughed quietly. to be fair, you did have a slightly deeper vocal range than billie. while she effortlessly hit falsetto notes, you usually handled the stronger alto harmonies.
“but,” she continued, softer this time, “i kinda agree with him.” your brows lifted slightly. “you have a distinct voice, babe.” billie leaned closer to the camera like she needed to emphasize it properly. “like, really good.” heat crept embarrassingly fast into your cheeks. thankfully, the inside of the van was dark enough to hide most of it.
you immediately rolled your eyes anyway, hoping billie wouldn’t notice the smile threatening at the corners of your mouth. “okay,” you scoffed. “says the one who’s probably gonna get signed by a record label before the end of the year.” you pointed accusingly toward the screen.
billie groaned instantly, throwing her head back against her pillow. “oh my god, stop.” she dragged both hands down her face dramatically. “just because me and finneas have meetings next week doesn’t mean anything’s actually gonna happen.”
“uh huh.” you said, unconvinced.
“seriously, y/n.”
“billie,” you deadpanned. “you literally have industry people asking to meet you.”
“and?”
“and you’re annoyingly talented.”
that earned you a grin — a real one this time, crooked and sleepy and impossible not to smile back at. for a second, neither of you said anything. outside your window, streetlights blurred gold against the dark highway. somewhere up front, your mom quietly asked your dad if he needed coffee for the rest of the drive.
everything suddenly felt strangely still. through the phone screen, billie shifted onto her stomach across the bed, hoodie sleeves bunched around her wrists.
“you know,” you continued, breaking the silence so it didn’t linger too long, “i’m actually really excited for the fall recital this year.” right before you left for vacation, rehearsals for choir competitions and the fall recital had started up again. billie let out a long, suffering groan.
“don’t even say recital right now.”
“oh, c’mon. it’s not even that bad,” you argued. “how can you lie to yourself like that?” she whispered dramatically. “mrs. t is fucking evil.”
“bro, she hates me and it’s only august,” billie continued, flopping backward across the bed dramatically. “i swear she wakes up every morning and decides my life specifically needs to be ruined.”
“you’re such a drama queen, bil,” you whispered through your smile. “as if you aren’t one too.” you laughed softly. “at least mrs. brigham likes us. she actually believes children deserve happiness.”
“exactly.” billie pointed toward the screen dramatically. “mrs. t wakes up every morning praying on my downfall. that woman is fucking evil.”
“i think i can see why you two butt heads. you’re so annoying,” you whispered through your smile. “and yet you continue to love me.” the words left billie’s mouth easily. careless. tossed into the conversation without thought.
the words lodged somewhere deep in your chest before you could stop them.
still, you forced yourself to roll your eyes, dropping your gaze toward your lap as your thumb worried at the frayed edge of your blanket. you shook your head, smiling to yourself as the highway signs outside finally started looking familiar.
home.
the realization settled calmly over your exhausted body. your limbs felt heavy against the backseat cushions, skin still warm from too much sun and too little sleep. billie seemed to notice immediately. “you look dead,” she observed. you only answered with a heavy sigh, which seemed to confirm it for her.
you shifted deeper beneath your blanket, tucking your cold hands into the sleeves of your hoodie while your phone rested against your knees. “i miss my bed,” you admitted quietly. the words came out softer than intended. outside, familiar highway exits started appearing one after another, each one making home feel a little closer. billie hummed for a second. “you still gonna sleep over here tomorrow?” the offer came naturally, like it always did.
sleepovers at billie’s house had become routine years ago. sometimes they turned into chaotic movie marathons with empty chip bags covering the floor and finneas yelling at both of you to shut up from the other room. other nights, the two of you stayed awake until sunrise talking about everything and nothing all at once, voices hushed beneath tangled blankets while some random playlist played quietly in the background.
those nights always felt endless somehow. safe. the thought alone loosened something tight in your chest. “tempting,” you murmured. billie grinned lazily at the screen like she already knew your answer anyway. rap music drifted softly through the silence and billie’s room while streetlights flickered gold across your face through the car window.
through the grainy facetime quality, you watched billie rest her chin against her pillow, half-lidded blue eyes fixed absentmindedly on the screen like looking at you required no effort at all.
you should’ve looked away.
instead, your eyes caught on details you’d seen a thousand times before — silver rings glinting against her fingers, oversized black sleeves swallowing her hands, pale platinum hair falling messily across her face beneath the red led glow. something twisted quietly in your chest. warm. nervous. impossible to name.
billie narrowed her eyes suddenly. “wait,” she said suspiciously. “did you bring anything back for your amazing, sexy, gorgeous, hot best friend?” you blinked. “maybe.” “ugh.” billie playfully dragged out your name. “you said you’d get me something…” she whined. you laughed tiredly, turning your face toward the cool glass of the window to hide your smile. “don’t worry, bil,” you said quietly. “i got you something.”
eventually, somewhere between quiet conversation and the endless stretch of highway outside your window, exhaustion won. you barely remembered hanging up the phone. only the soft sound of billie mumbling a sleepy “text me when you get home” before the screen went dark.
after that, everything blurred together; the warmth of the blanket tangled around your legs, worship music still humming faintly through the speakers, your dad quietly lowering the radio once he realized you’d fallen asleep.
the next thing you knew, your mom’s hand was gently shaking your shoulder. “honey,” she whispered. “we’re home.” you blinked blearily against the porch light outside the van windows, momentarily disoriented. your neck ached from sleeping against the car door, earbuds tangled somewhere beneath your hoodie. the realization settled warmly through your chest.
outside, the neighborhood sat quiet beneath the late august night, familiar porch lights glowing against the dark. across the yard, you could already see the faint red glow spilling from billie’s bedroom window.
for some reason, the sight alone made you smile sleepily to yourself.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the next morning smelled like coffee, cinnamon, and sunscreen still lingering faintly in unpacked suitcases. you were halfway through unpacking clothes from your beach bag when the doorbell rang downstairs. before your mom could even properly answer it, you heard billie’s voice echoing through the house.
“where is she?” you barely had time to laugh before pounding footsteps raced down the hallway. then your bedroom door flew open. “YOU’RE FINALLY HOME!” billie practically launched herself at you.
you stumbled backward into the edge of your bed with a startled laugh as her arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders. oversized blue hoodie sleeves bunched against your arms while her rings pressed cold against your skin.
“hi to you too,” you snorted.
“i missed you so much, oh my god.”
“it was one week.”
“i don't care. next time i’m coming with you.” billie squeezed you tighter and you felt her laugh against your neck. a chill ran down your spine as you gently ran your fingers up and down her back.
despite her dramatic tone, billie still didn’t let go immediately. through the open bedroom door, you could hear your parents greeting maggie and patrick downstairs while finneas laughed about something from the kitchen.
the dads would probably disappear outside soon to “check on the grill” and end up talking for two hours instead. meanwhile, your mom and maggie would inevitably settle at the kitchen counter with coffee and gossip. some things genuinely never changed.
finally, billie pulled back just enough to look at you properly and she grinned. sunlight filtered through the lace curtains hanging over your bedroom windows, casting warm patterns across the walls. your room always felt calmer in the mornings; soft browns and warm creams mixed with scattered bits of color from stacked records, polaroids taped along your mirror, and books overflowing from the shelves beside your bed.
your guitar rested in the corner near the record player, half-hidden beneath a cardigan you’d tossed there days before vacation. billie looked entirely too comfortable there already, immediately flopping face-first across your bed like she belonged in the room as much as you did.honestly, she kind of did.
“i got you something,” you said suddenly. billie lifted her head immediately. “no way.” you laughed gently at how fast she sat up. crossing toward the half-unpacked suitcase near your closet, you dug carefully beneath folded clothes before pulling out a small forest green box.
billie’s eyes widened instantly. “wait,” she said. “you actually remembered?” you walked back toward the bed before sitting beside her, suddenly weirdly nervous for reasons you couldn’t explain. “obviously i remembered.” you nodded at her expectantly. “open it.”
billie took the box from your hands carefully, silver rings glinting against her fingers as she flipped it open. “holy shit.” nestled against the dark velvet inside sat a chunky silver ring, worn-looking in a way that made it feel vintage. tiny etched horses wrapped subtly around the band beneath larger engraved stars scattered across the metal.
billie stared at it for a second like she genuinely didn’t know what to say. which honestly almost never happened. “dude,” she breathed. “this is so fucking sick.” you laughed quietly, warmth blooming through your chest at the sight of her already sliding it onto her pointer finger.
it fit perfectly. of course it did. billie immediately held her hand up toward the sunlight spilling through your curtains, turning the ring back and forth while the silver caught the light. “oh my god,” she said again in her baby silly voice, taking in all the details of the new jewelry. “the little horses?”
“i saw it at one of the shops near the boardwalk,” you admitted. “it reminded me of you.” something softer flickered briefly across billie’s face then. quick enough you almost missed it. “well,” she said after a second, bumping her shoulder lightly against yours, “i love it. you know me too damn well. thank you so much.”
you rolled your eyes, smiling despite yourself. but even as the conversation drifted into something easier again, your eyes kept catching on the silver ring around billie’s finger.
and somehow, you already knew she wasn’t going to take it off anytime soon.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
by the time the o’connells finally headed home, the sky outside had turned soft shades of blue and orange, evening settling warmly over the neighborhood.
billie lingered in your doorway longer than everyone else. “you still coming over tonight?” she asked hopefully, one hand still hooked around your doorframe.
normally, the answer would’ve been immediate. always.
but exhaustion still sat heavy behind your eyes, mixed with that lingering homesick feeling that hadn’t fully left your chest yet. the kind that only disappeared once you were back in your own room, in your own bed, surrounded by familiar things.
you glanced around your bedroom for a second. the lace curtains moving in the evening breeze. your half-unpacked suitcase sitting open near the closet. records stacked beside your player. the comforter you’d missed more than you cared to admit.
“tomorrow,” you promised. “i think i need one full night in my own bed.” billie studied you for a second before her expression hardened teasingly. “just say you hate me and don’t want to snuggle,” she said dramatically, crossing her arms. you scoffed almost immediately.
“text me later, though.” billie added softly as she dropped the facade. you laughed quietly. “you literally live behind me.” “and?”
you shook your head, smiling as she finally disappeared downstairs.a few minutes later, you found yourself standing by your bedroom window, watching the o’connells’ back porch light flicker on across the yard. patrick and your dad were still talking on the patio while maggie called for billie to come through the back gate to their house.
through the dim light, you caught one last glimpse of billie lifting her hand while she talked — silver rings glinting beneath the porch light. your ring among them. for some reason, the sight made your chest feel strangely full.
behind you, your room still smelled faintly like sunscreen, laundry detergent, and the salty ocean air trapped inside your suitcase. somewhere downstairs, your mom started unloading leftovers into the fridge while your dad locked the front door for the night.
everything felt settled again. like you’d finally slipped back into place.
outside, cicadas buzzed in the warm august air while the first hints of autumn waited quietly around the corner; choir rehearsals, late-night drives, halloween movie marathons at billie’s house, colder nights wrapped in oversized hoodies, and weekends that always somehow ended with the two of you laughing until your stomachs hurt.
the kind of season that always seemed to pass too quickly. and somehow, you already knew this fall would change everything. for now, though, you only smiled to yourself as billie’s laughter echoed faintly from somewhere across the backyard.
summer was ending. and somehow, something new was just beginning.
a/n: yay, prologue! i hope you guys enjoyed it! let me know what you think!! thank you @byeilish for helping me out proofreading 🤍 if y'all want me to make a tag list, just send me an ask!
m's masterlist
all billie eilish - wlw - minors do not interact
fluff - ᯽ smut - ✯ angst - 𖥠
blurbs
- coming soon...
one-shots
- coming soon…
series
- my girl (singer!fem!reader x bsf!billie) ᯽ ✯ 𖥠
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