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Town Hall 2017: Did We Empower YOU?
Military Spouse magazine hosted its 5th annual Town Hall sponsored by Allstate on May 11 at the Army-Navy Country Club in Arlington, Va. Five sessions throughout the day touched on a different aspect of empowerment. Check out what each panel and speaker contributed to the message.
Sponsors, How Do YOU Empower?
Moderator: Sue Hoppin, founder and president, National Military Spouse Network
Panel members:
Melissa Christmann, military program manager, Allstate
Tom Down, diversity and military talent acquisition manager, Capital One
Herrick Ross, recruiter, military talent acquisition, Starbucks
Theresa Lepow, senior program manager for military recruiting, Amazon
credit: Steve Barrett Photography
TAKEAWAYS:
“The people in the room with you today are your tribe. In a time when resources are scarce and vary from installation to installation. We have one resource that never goes away: each other. Remember that and you’ll go far.” ~Sue Hoppin
Allstate: “If your program doesn’t include military spouses you only have half of a program.”
Capital One: “We look at spouses as equally as we do veterans.”
Starbucks: “As military spouses you have the opportunity to see the world in a different way.”
Amazon: “We look to hire military spouses and then retain them and honor them. I look to build a military spouse program with a menu of options.”
Each of the representative companies championed the military spouse employee and what they can bring to the table. One key takeaway? Be proud of the fact that you’re a military spouse. Be sure to self-identify if there is an option. These companies want to know you’re a spouse. They are looking for the skills you bring to the table.
As with any other job seeker, though, be calculated and specific about what jobs you apply to. Keep your resume to one to two pages. Use your cover letter to show your personality, explain any gaps in your resume and really iterate what an important role being a military spouse is. “Your cover letter should reflect what job you’re applying for. I know it’s a lot of work, but it’s what gets you a job.”
Consider three Cs when applying for jobs: Culture, commute and compensation. How you prioritize those is up to you.
Regarding the sometimes awkward salary conversation, the panel members emphasized research and realistic expectations. Websites such as glassdoor.com and salary.com give reasonable expectations as to what number is appropriate based on job title and location. Don’t forget to take other benefits into consideration, too; the whole benefit package counts. Don’t focus on a target number. Rather, have a salary range and be flexible.
Each company differed in work from home policies. The common takeaway is to have a conversation with your manager. Company policies vary, and policies vary by specific job and manager as well.
Empower YOU Panel of Milspouses
Moderator: MJ Boice, in-house staff writer, National Military Family Association
Panel members:
Holly Vega, stay-at-home parent, 2017 Quantico Base Spouse of the Year
Brittany Boccher, advocate, 2017 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year
Lauren Hope, entrepreneur for-profit, 2017 United States Military Academy Spouse of the Year
Verenice Castillo, entrepreneur nonprofit, 2013 Armed Forces Insurance Air Force Spouse of the Year
Jennifer Mullen, business professional, Verizon Wireless, 2016 Armed Forces Insurance Coast Guard Spouse of the Year
credit: Steve Barrett Photography
TAKEAWAYS:
Why do you do what you do?
“We pursue this niche because we have to. I’ve strived to have my own circumstance aside from the military. I like my own identity. What that means for me is I work and have something I’m passionate about. It’s whatever is appropriate for me in that season of my life. It’s a chosen reason.” ~Mullen
“I’m not in my husband’s shadows. I’m equally beside you. I am a volunteer. I am proud to be a volunteer and serve my community wherever I go and my children get to see that.” ~Vega
“We all have a purpose. It took one day for me to start meeting families for me to realize why didn’t I choose to do this sooner? Then I started getting more involved until there was no turning back. If I was going to do this, I would do it all the way. Running a nonprofit can be crazy and overwhelming. My husband will tell me to remember why you’re doing this. It’s not about you; it’s about those who you serve. That will always be my why.” ~Castillo
How do you measure success with what you want to do?
“At the end of the day, it’s about happiness. That’s it. I don’t need accolades or recognition. It’s if I’m happy with what I did that day when I lay my head down on my pillow at night. I don’t measure success over time; it’s literally each day.” ~Boccher
“We’re all here for a reason and I’d like to know that reason. The tribe I surround myself with is success. I’m a professionally trained chef by trade. After my son was diagnosed with multiple food allergies I had to stop everything that identified me to take care of him. Life changes. Priorities change. My family comes first. I’ve had a hard time identifying with my new life. Jewelry has always been a hobby but when cooking went out and I needed another creative outlet, jewelry came in. I’m flattered and honored it’s taken off.” ~Hope
All of the panelists agreed spouses need to ask the questions about what they can do to help and have a meaningful answer when someone asks them how they can help. Junior or senior spouse, moving is still scary. Find an organization, go in and tell them what you can offer. Ensure you share a mutual vision. If visions aren’t in alignment, you’ll end up following someone else’s rather than yours. “There is someone out there with your vision and passion who will want to work you.” Also be sure to ask for a seat at an organization’s table; you might be surprised how many tell you to pull up a chair and join.
Mentorship also is important. Find at least one mentor you can talk to; these people can change based on what season of life you’re in. It’s about building a whole support system.
Do three things: Embrace military life, embrace military community and embrace opportunities afforded to you as military spouses because they are abundant.
Now that YOU’re Empowered – How to Talk to the Decision Makers
Presenter: Elizabeth Adams, Director, Ceremonies and Protocol, Air Force District Washington
credit: Steve Barrett Photography
TAKEAWAYS:
Etiquette and formal protocol is never out of style. Within 30 seconds of meeting, people have established first impressions. Wear age appropriate clothing that reflects your personality, is appropriate for the occasion and is current and fashionable – but not trendy. A little trendy is OK; a lot trendy is not.
Dining etiquette: Don’t unfold your napkin until it’s already on your lap. Then, unfold it only half. One never drinks a toast to oneself. Set a knife down on the plate with the blade facing in. Never take a bite off of a roll; rather, break off the bite you’re going to eat and butter only that.
Cell phone etiquette: Maintain a privacy range. Use your library voice. Put it on vibrate or turn it off. Do not put your phone on the dining table.
RSVP etiquette: Respond by the due date no matter what your answer is. If you must cancel, do it personally within 48 or 72 hours.
Nearly 75 percent of adults experience anxiety at a party with strangers. To help alleviate that, improve your mingling skills and small talk to find connections. Be well read and listen to the news. Focus on the other person and remember to never interrupt.
Handshaking: Shake from the elbow using two smooth pumps. Maintain a firm, but not hard, grip. Clammy hands? Own it. Avoid large rings on your right hand and wearing fragrance to be sensitive to many people who have fragrance allergies.
Empowering YOU While Keeping You Safe
Presenter: Alexandra Brown, senior consultant in the advisory services, Ernst & Young LLP
credit: Steve Barrett Photography
TAKEAWAYS:
In a world of oversharing with social media, Brown recommends following The Dinner Rule: “If you wouldn’t invite them into your home, do not have them on your social media.”
Information is power, money, safety and security. Protect yours. The C.I.A. of information is it needs to be confidential, maintain the integrity of how it was originally published and it needs to be available.
Even if you post something online and delete it, it never fully disappears (the “digital tattoo”). Think before you post anything on social media. Online photos now will exist for generations. “We have become a generation of content producers. Privacy as you know it no longer exists.” When you post a photo of your child, think about if it could come back to bite them in 10 years, or when they’re looking for a job. Will your social media post affect or hurt them in some way?
Secret apps also are prevalent these days, such as Cover Me, Calculator Photo Apps and Omegle. Monitor your child’s technology closely. Encourage your child to write in a journal using a pen and paper rather than posting their feelings online. Brown does not give her children privacy with technology, but gives them total privacy with their pen and paper journals. “They are one click from anyone in this world; most children are not equipped with the maturity to handle that.”
To avoid ransomware, which prevents a victim from accessing critical data and system function until a fee is paid to the attackers, get in the habit of once a month downloading everything on your computer to an external hard drive and then unplug the hard drive until your next update.
Consider using passphrases instead of passwords. “Criminals are smart, don’t make it easy for them.” A passphrase, for example, could be derived from saying “I like Starbucks at 2 p.m.” The passphrase is shortened to ILoveSB@2p. That’s a strong password, and very hard to hack into. “Passwords are the key to your kingdom. Protect those.”
For more information, visit Facebook.com/OPSECforFamilies.
Take Care of YOU and Empower All Generations
Presenter: Corie Weathers, Licensed Professional Counselor, 2015 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year
credit: Steve Barrett Photography
TAKEAWAYS:
The biggest thing Weathers hears from spouses is that they don’t know what their purpose is. “My biggest concern is spouses today are chameleons and we have an identity problem,” she says.
“How will you serve or empower anybody else if you don’t know who you are? Let your own light shine, which gives other people permission to do the same. When you stop being afraid and insecure, that’s when you have power. Not that you use over other people – power you use as influential to make a difference in other people’s lives.”
What kind of a superhero are you as a military spouse? Where are you on your superhero journey? Weathers walks through the steps each superhero takes on their journey.
Backstory. Before a superhero has a power, they have a backstory. It’s often painful, but your backstory matters to your purpose and to what makes you passionate.
Call to adventure. Some superheroes have denied their calling at first, which is a sabotage moment. It’s not about who’s against you or who you’re out to rescue; it’s about yourself, who you’ll be and what you need to do within yourself to deal with it all.
Answer the call. No one can make the choice for you if you’re going to answer a call or not; you have to answer it yourself and realize it’s worth it to move forward with messy people and a messy life. True healing happens in the backstory when you can bring purpose and meaning to what’s happened and use it to bring hope into other people’s lives.
Blessing, which comes right after internal conflict. There is always a blessing on the other side of answering a call. We fear the blessings won’t come after internal conflicts, but they do.
Establish a dual persona. Superheroes have gone through a growth. Every superhero must go home and wrestle with the fact they are different. They know something about the world and about themselves they didn’t know before. You’re ready to make an impact on the world when you realize you can be in both places. You don’t have to be fully accepted anywhere for you to accept yourself. You are you wherever you go.
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