the Kindred (1987) rating: 6/10
dir: Stephen carpenter (no relation), Jeffrey obrow (also no relation)
Synopsis: stuff in jars, in creepy basements are BAD. except jam preserves.
John Hollis (best known for dying in the first scene of Manhunter, I guess) is a research scientist whos dying mother reveals a dark, hidden secret, including potentially a previously unknown brother, and worse, a relationship with rod steiger. Hollis and his doofy friends, expertly cast as death fodder in a horror movie, all travel to his mother’s run down cabin where they try to piece together her research into …. I dunno…. animal hybridization, or something. Rod steiger plays a standard mad scientist trope who has a basement of monstrosities and pays thugs to cause accidents and bring him bodies. You know, the standard deal. Once at the cabin, they meet anthony, the mysterious brother, who is actually less of a brother, and more of a freakishly non-human sea creature with tentacles and rapid growth and of course, blood lust. Steiger uses attractive english honey pot Amanda Pays to convince Hollis to … hand over all material related to mad science to him. Evil mutant anthony begins his mad but largely ineffective rampage, causing roughly as much death as one would expect with a rusted crapshack like that. Those who died could have very well suffered the same fate from rotten floorboards or rusty nails. Amanda Pays tried to seduce Hollis who refreshingly doesn’t bite, which is good because she’s actually a half fish person. Dodged a bullet there.
Of the friends, one of them has an amusing bit with a cigarette craving that plays a predictable part in the conclusion, but it’s well worth it as it helps create the illusion that the gang are anything more than potential monster victims, which is the usual approach for this type of movie. Things end predictably, as they should with all monster flicks, in a ball of fire with lots of squealing monsters, and the hiss, crackle and pop of searing flesh. Steiger buys it, like I had to tell you that. Truly, a cautionary tale against poorly conceptualized theory-less rural genetics research.
Features: hot tentacle action, somewhat believable science props, grungy cabin feel.
why I watched it. Amanda pays. 100%. Rod Steiger was a nice addition, but superfluous icing on the cake.
why you should watch it: at the very least to see where and how more recent horror films have gone wrong. Eschewing practical SFX in favor of CGI and having pretty but shallow disposable victims is all the rage nowadays, nice to know it wasn’t always the case.
the bad: not overly exciting, scary, or compelling, I didn't root for the good guys, the bad guys, or the monster.
the good: good SFX, great use of monster prop in jars. makes compelling argument both for and against creating evil hybrid killing monsters. Amanda Pays, of Max Headroom fame.
Summary: while largely unknown and ultimately forgettable, you wont do any serious damage to yourself if you watch it. About as harmful as a pack of cigarettes.