"Let me just say this last point, Mike. The fact that all the other men don't trust him is huge. I'm not a cynic. I'm healing from being a cynic. I'm healing from being cynical about men. I'm healing from being not only fearful and scared and angry at men, but also denigrating them and putting them down. However - not however! However (...) When a group of men don't trust one man. That is incredibly telling. Because (...) some men stand by other men, (...) stand by their friends who are rapists and who are known to be rapists, who have been jailed for rape, who are known in the community for rape. They stay with their friends who beat their partners, who beat their children. They stay with their friends who do not pay for their children they created, who are deadbeat dads. They stay with their friends, who are criminals. So men have a high tolerance for bad behavior amongst other men because of how men organize, how some... OK, let me add the 'some'. Some men, because of how some men organize around loyalty, some men - I would say many men - are submissives. Many men are followers. And this is why, part of why the army is such a hit: is men love being told what to do and being guided by other men. But also there's a, there's a sense of carnal, primal, primal fear of being kicked out of the group, the tribe by other men. Because men's approval matters more to men-to some men- than their wives' approval, their girlfriend's approval, their children's approval. It's men. It's very interesting. There's a homoerotic element to it, too. It's super fascinating. (...) By the time a man doesn't trust another man, a group of men don't trust one. That should be a sign. Because men tolerate anything. Because some men tolerate anything and everything, where they draw the line is probably when they start to cheat them, themselves of like money and things, and men are like, No, I have to break up with you. But beating your girlfriend, raping them, doing all sorts of things. Ah, that's fine."
Mukundwa, " I Said What I Said" Podcast Ep. 155