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The past couple years, I’ve done a lot of work on myself. And I’ve realized that I’ll be fine as long as I get constant attention.

Very dirty, yes? A very upsetting thing to hear, yes? I'm sorry you all had to hear that, but at least you all got to hear it as a group. I was alone out there that afternoon. And she said this totally unprompted. Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs. It wasn't like I had paused in front of her and been like, "What should I do with my life?"

#john mulaney #comeback kid #the comeback kid #mygif #mulaneygif #i love this tall child

'Cause I've been in relationships where I got cheated on. Like long ones. I don't know if you've ever been in a long relationship where you got cheated on, but it changes your whole world view.

#john mulaney #comeback kid #the comeback kid #mygif #mulaneygif #the first one slays me

They'll still say it. 'Cause there are those guys who, they buy a cow and then on the side, total matador.

#john mulaney #the comeback kid #comeback kid #mygif #mulaneygif #john mulaney bull question mark

#mulaneygif

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