#mumdate

[narutomaki]

at the hospital being bored out of my mind while i wait for copies of the POA papers, i cant go up to see her because I'm not signing anything and it's :-(

I'm the only person who isn't mocking her of making thia harder for her than i has to be and i cant see her >:^(

[narutomaki]

i might have to put my mum in a long term care home and im like. so conflicted because on one hand it will be what’s best for her depending on how she recovers, on the other hand she will hate it and hate me for putting her there :-<

but i... really can’t spend the rest of her life being a full time caregiver even if i wanted to be! im already the person in the household who does most of the chores and takes care of everyone and the animals and. adding a person who is MUCH MORE reliant on me would. kill me i think and i’m not exaggerating.

depending on how her rehabilitation and recovery progresses we’ll see but at the moment it’s not looking. good.

i told myself i wasn’t going to think about it and YET HERE WE ARE. THINKING ABOUT IT.

[narutomaki]

my godmother is coming down tomorrow to help me talk to the doctors and get a time frame and also. hug me ;;;

we barely speak. like i last spoke to her years ago. but she talks to my mum all the time and she.

she called me and said "i am here for you. no (deadname) i. am. here. for. you. we are in this together. if you need to call me to cry to scream do it. i will wake up in the dead of night for you."

and bro i cried about all this for the first time. i feel like she's the only one who understands. and shes coming down tomorrow to help me talk to the doctors and nurses and think about putting mum in a long term care home. and i am just...

so grateful to feel like someone is there for me to lean on and depend in i felt like i was going into this alone and would spend the rest of my life in it alone but she gets it

and she's here for me.

idk I'm just really grateful

bcus 1: thank G.d and 2: she gave me something else to focus on, cleaning my apartment so she has somewhere comfortable to sit.

edit: i also warned her about my stairs but I'll help her up when she gets here or sit in her can with her even. i hope she gets here safe i am. nervous suddenly bcus my brain wants me to think bad things 😬

[narutomaki]

finally called the hospital and the nurse is going to see if they can find her keys for me ;;;

it was nice to finally do that and it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be

it's also a relief to know that my mums friend does know, shes been calling my grandpa, but my mum was worried she didn't know bcus she cant get in contact with her while she's coherent

but i know my next steps and im proud if myself for finally sitting down and calling ;;; thats the hardest part of this kinda stuff i guess, the actual actions :'-)

[aimeebellmua]

Ready for lunch with my mum & Erin ❤❤ . . . #babylunch #mumdate #mumoutfit #ootd #pinkhair #pinkwig #lillyshairofficial #tan #tanning #muminfluencer #mummy #love #family https://www.instagram.com/p/B3EkOOvFEP6/?igshid=1e1gcenbz255v

[captainzaksparrow]

Just being a proper fat fatty on a date with my mum. #coldstone #mumdate https://www.instagram.com/p/B0z4C_jhwtO/?igshid=xgoxddfjmlx9

[captainzaksparrow]

Just being a proper fat fatty on a date with my mum. #coldstone #mumdate https://www.instagram.com/p/B0z4C_jhwtO/?igshid=xgoxddfjmlx9

[loveisintheairmiles]

I also drank wine #mumdate #oneluckymummy https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw1lmR3nMUHw8hJ19im9RGOuGkuVsAEkpkqMew0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1l8ro1gw07l1t