Okay, boom, here it is. So many times I’ve started to write descriptions of the shit I’m going through and deleted them without posting, I might still delete this one, but I kind of want to apologise to everyone for not posting more original work.
If you follow me on Ao3 you will know I’m going through a divorce, it’s been dragging on for almost 3 years now, and my ex is trying to have me and our children (yep, his own daughters) thrown out of our home. Bad enough, but I’m disabled and both girls have the same condition, not as disabling but bad enough that living in the home that has been adapted to our needs is important. As per the law here, he has a legal responsibility to keep a roof over their heads until they leave full-time education, but he’s stopped paying the mortgage anyway and now they are taking out legal action. In the meantime, we’re waiting for a new court date because I couldn’t get to the last one and had to apply for a postponement. I do finally have legal representation, thank goodness, but it’s so long and drawn out and so much uncertainty that it’s extremely stressful. I keep smiling and carrying on but I do have moments where will worry big time, then just pack it away again!
Anywho, with all this going on, my pain levels are through the roof too and I can’t stand for more than a minute or so at a time, my upper body is experiencing more pain, particularly my shoulders, which are dislocating more than normal (because dislocations are a normal thing in my life!).
So, yeah, my writing inspiration has taken a huge nosedive, my ex threatened me with not having declared my novels as a form of work, when I haven’t legally earned enough to have it classed as anything more than a hobby, and I’m too afraid to write my them in case he tries to rip me off in court over it. I’m writing fanfics in dribs and drabs, when I can, but I’m so exhausted all the time and although I know I shouldn’t, I kind of beat myself up about not being able to do as much as I did and about letting people down.
So, yeah, things aren’t great at the mo but I’m carrying on, doing what I can when I can, and you have my apologies for not posting more often!
TLDR: Life is rough at the mo, my pain is high, my ex is a dick, and I’m sorry I haven’t written much!