#mun breaks down

[we-are-richmond]

Calm the fuck down. It's just some mangy animal. Plus it's a pitbull, those things are monsters

You know what… FUCK YOU ANON!!! FUCK YOU YO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT! That mangy animal was my best friend, he was family!!! SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING WHORE ASS MOUTH AND DONT TALK ABOUT MT DOG LIKE HE HAD NO MEANING IN LIFE!!!!

[we-are-richmond]

What exactly...happened?

It happened exaclty a year ago. I was already devastated from having to move homes, and change schools. I was on my main tumblr blog from what I remember, looking at some photos. My dad comes home from work with my dog Brockers. He let’s Brockers outside.

After a while, my little brother lets them back in…after a while Caesar doesn’t come in. I was still at my computer when…when… “Dad, Caesar’s not moving!” He shouts. My heart stopped immediately, i ran out of my room, to see my parents already outside. My little brother comes back, heading past me crying out heart wrenching words.

“Caesar’s dead.”

Being the oldest, i had to hold in all my emotions. My brother was 9 then, my sisters 7 and 4. I had to be strong for them. We had to stay inside the entire time, while my parents were deciding what to do. In the end, we decided to bury him in our backyard. We had to call out uncle to help us.

After a while my mom watched my siblings. I decided to take a shower…then..then I finally broke down. I fucking broke down crying in my shower, the hot water not even phasing me. Because I was in so much pain. I was in so much pain from having to move, leave my magnet school, having to say goodbye to my friends, and then having to lose another dog. He was my fucking family!!!!

After we dug a hole….each of us got to put dirt on the grave. A chance to say some final goodbyes. It was 1 AM. I remember my exact words. 

“Caesar…you were my best friend. You were a lazy chunky old man, and I loved laying on your tummy. You didn’t care because…you loved us so much…just as much as we loved you…..”

We buried him our backyard… and my dads bitch step-mother has our house. She took away our home, and the chance to see my best friend. i’m happy he was buried at home…but what if she finds out we buried him there?! Every day I wonder what she’s done at the house! We haven’t been there in a fucking year!!! She could have dug his up, or worse?! I don’t know okay!!!

I just want my fucking best friend back please!!! Please god just give me back my baby! I just want my baby back!!!

[twowheelerarcee]

One week I lasted

at my summer job, at a care home for the elderly. 

I don’t want to seem snobby or ‘too good’ for this job, because I’m really not.  I just can’t do it. 

I’m not an entitled brat or picky about my job by any means. I just don’t see myself being able to be mentally stable while helping old people go to the toilet and help them take showers, or changing diaper or someone that calls me ‘a useless whore’ or wishes me dead, or old men in their 90s who stare at my chest while I’m trying to work. I don’t feel comfortable doing it and I’m constantly looking over my shoulder so that some old man isn’t sneaking up behind me again while I’m cleaning. 

I just can’t do it.  It’s been one week and I’m done. I broke down on my way home from work today while I was stopped at a red light. 

I’ve been working my ass off since I was 14, I’ve always had a job. I’ve always worked hard, weather that was in a workshop, a farm or a competition stable, I’ve always been working and I’m not afraid to work 6-7 days a week.  But the only reason why I took this job is because I’m not able to be paid during the summer for shoeing horses, since I’m still a student the government won’t fund the studies during vacation. Thereby, I’d be working for free, having to pay gas, tools, materials and food out of my own pocked(where’s that money coming from?) This job hired me without an interview and I need the money.

But I just can’t.  I’m going back to working for free, maybe I can get some under the table payments from my boss, because I can’t keep this up anymore. 

[turnedtohatred]

Mun breakdown

Okay so I am doing a new study called concept art and I have been following 5 days and I’m close to giving up. I suck. I suck in character design, in design, in digital shit. I suck in drawing - very fun if that’s something you’ve been doing your whole live, studied it so you could find a job. To find out that every art I am making in class is plain crap.

Like no, I see all talented people surrounding me and I’m shit (Sorry for the swearing but no I am Absolute uncertain about everything I’ve been dreaming about.) If I won’t improve fast I probably will not only get kicked out of school (I probably won’t be able to find a job either.)

My parents aren’t really interested in how it goes - so yeah I’ll self pitty myself and crawl into bed soon to think about how stupid my dreams and life choices are.

Worst of all.... I’m thinking I’m not even a great writer. Like I don’t even understand why people want to roleplay with me....I’m a trashcannot

not even trash or a trashcan

[on-heroic-wings-blog]

it reminds me of our dear baby emma that we lost in February and i just cant get over it my god i miss her so much

she was with us most of my life and it still doesnt feel like shes gone

im sorry for burdening your dashes with this but i just

god

i miss her but shes gone and shes not coming back

i wish she was with us still I just want to hug her and make sure she knew i love her

Emma baby I'm sorry i wasn't a better friend to you. you were the best dog and friend anyone could ever ask for. I'm sorry i didn't spend more time with you when I could