#munchausens

[sickllightningbug]

Real talk I think my dream life is being one of those sad little wet dogs that gets rescued and then becomes internet famous for having some debilitating sickness and managing to survive and stuff. I think that would fix me.

[kiruliom]

munchausens pride

what is munchausen syndrome?

munchausen syndrome, or facticious disorder imposed on self, is a factitious disorder in which those affected feign or induce disease, illness, injury, abuse, or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy, or reassurance to themselves. (from wikipedia as of dec 6 2023)

it is a mostly involuntary, sometimes delusional disorder

this disorder has a lot of stigma around it similar to BIID, but is nowhere near talked about as much within relevant communities. so as someone with munchausens I wanted to make a flag that fit my experiences with it (mostly because I couldnt find any already existing flags)

color meanings:

purple: acknowledging this is a devastating disorder caused by trauma, the serious aspects of the disorder.

pinks: destigmatizing the disorder, and faking disorders or illness for attention as a whole. (to heal from it we need to acknowledge and accept it)

white: healing, recovery, and the like. it is off white and not pure white to symbolize it will not be easy and we will never 'fully' recover, but it will get better over time.

yellow/greens: the actual illness/disorder aspect, whether its the disorder itself or the thing we're faking. as yellow and green are both associated with illnesses in color.

I ask this flag does not get used by people who purposefully fake disorders, it is up to the user to respect this, but id really appreciate it if it was. this is not for pride on faking illness/trauma, but pride for an actual, although rare, disorder.

[munchiesideblog]

i'm kinda addicted to those shit illnessfakers subreddits. idk why. maybe to make myself feel better because i know I'm not as far gone as the subjects? i have these desires and do act on them sometimes but at least my IRL social media doesn't have "hey, look at my new medical problem! check out this new device I totally didn't order from amazon!" every other post, and when I cave in and do something stupid, i actually care to keep it small and believable and not openly bask in the attention.

in a way i feel bad for participating in those circles because those are people like me. and I know very well the pain of being trapped by a web of lies and maladaptive desires that you feel you have no escape from. having people repost your pics and mock you can't be much of a help for healing from that. BUT then again most of the subjects are horrible spoiled unpleasant people outside of the factitious disorder so I shouldn't feel too much empathy lmao. i hate that I have this in common with those people.

[mental-health-advice]

I feel like I want something to be wrong with me. Ever since I was little I always wanted to break my arm or wear glasses or something. Now that I'm older I take any sign to start googling what could possibly be wrong with me. Every time I have a health problem I'll go to the doctor and almost hope it's something worse than it ends up being and then get mad when it's not what I expected. I've done a lot of research and pretty much convinced myself I had BPD but now I reread the symptoms & idk :(

Hey! I hope that yourday is going well. I’m sorry that you feel like this. I actually know what youmean. I have felt this way too. I don’t know what symptoms you have so I don’t knowif you have bpd, and I also can’t diagnose you anyways. But either way this couldbe because of a few things. I can give you some knowledge of why this is.

As human beings, we all want attention. Attention isn’t abad thing. We kind of need it. I think that one reason you could be acting likethis is because you want attention. Now, don’t take that as an insult. I amsaying this as being a totally normal human thing.

What could also be the case here is Munchausensyndrome. Munchausen syndrome is a psychiatric factitious disorder whereinthose affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma todraw attention, sympathy, or reassurance to themselves. Munchausen syndrome fitswithin the subclass of factitious disorder with predominantly physical signsand symptoms, but patients also have a history of recurrent hospitalization, travelling, and dramatic, extremely improbabletales of their past experiences.

Iwould recommend talking with a therapist about what is going on with you. Youcould get a proper diagnosis if you ask a therapist to talk with apsychiatrist. They could talk with you on a lot of things that are botheringyou as well.

I know that you can get through this! Rememberthat we have a live chat service that is available to everyone. You can send ina request or see if an admin has posted that they are online. If you feel likeyou are in immediate danger please go to the hospital. I want you to be safe.

I wish you luck!

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-Rachel

“The sun will rise and we will tryagain.”

[sickllightningbug]

Istening to a thing about strychnine and all I can't think about is how badly I want to be poisoned?? Not to die just. To have it happen and to get really sick, like almost dead, and then pull through

[sickllightningbug]

I was going through some old files and found one labeled "for therapy"

Like damn, it's been right there all along

[sickllightningbug]

I find myself dwelling on diseases and disorders often, wondering what it's like to experience them. I don't want cancer, not actually. But what is it like? How does it feel to be told you're dying? To go thru chemotherapy and radiation?

In reality, I don't want cancer. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I've had to experience losing someone to cancer- it is an unforgiving beast. It doesn't care who you are or what you do- it just takes you over and slowly strangles your life away.

I also know that the likelihood of me getting cancer in this lifetime is not zero. I'm actually at a higher risk for getting some cancers- they run in my family to a sick degree. My own mother battled pancreatic cancer (and actually survived!), so I know it's actually fairly likely I will develop cancer someday.

And part of me craves it. Part of me wants it to happen now, so that people will look at me with pity.

I go to a pharmacy that's in an oncology clinic for my migraine meds because it's the only pharmacy that stocks what I take. I once walked in there and an older lady who was sitting in the waiting room gasped and said "you're so young!" And I just shrugged. She went on to tell me how she would pray for me and hoped I would pull through. I never corrected her; it felt so good to have someone so worried.

I don't actually want cancer. And I'm not going to fake it. I just want someone to take care of me and feel worried for me. I feel sick over this. I feel evil.