#murphy mcnulty

[dreamychick]

You know, Harry knows so very little. I know Aberforth pretty well. And harry doesn't even know he exists for the longest time.

All he had to do was go down the street and say hello.

[whatsortofschoolisthis]

Charlie: has anyone seen Ben?

Ben, lying face down on the floor: Present.

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Lucius Malfoy: Thank you for agreeing to see me.

Dumbledore: I didn’t, you just walked in here and started talking—

Lucius Malfoy: I don’t have time for a history lesson.

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Sean, sleep deprived in detention: Do you know how many bones the human body has? it’s 206. We start with 369 when we’re babies but they fuse. Wouldn’t you want to go back? Have as many bones as a baby? What if I could help you?

Jae, first time ever meeting Sean: Hi yeah what the actual, literal, GENUINE fuck does this mean?!

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Penny: maybe you should see a therapist.

Skye: Why would I do that when I can lie to someone about my feelings for free?

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Bill: Madam Pomfrey said I’m perfectly fine. except for this burn scar. and this broken rib… which is right next to two other broken ribs.

Hecate: Did she clear you or not?

Bill: She did not! *claps hands* let’s get to work

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Rowan during OWLS: I’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so I’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Rowan: *bites his textbook*

Rowan: This isn’t a bagel.

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Tonks: A little tough love’s what these people need.

Tulip: If that doesn’t work, we’re moving on to molotov cocktails.

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Hecate: Jae, can you do me a favor?

Jae, five minutes into befriending her:  I would literally die for you but go on.

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Murphy: what’s your biggest fear?

Skye: Probably losing? …and loss in general?

Charlie: I’m afraid of tiger sharks.

Sean, still  sleep deprived:  I don’t know if this is a fear but I’m really fascinated by the darkness that consumes you when death comes? Thinking about that split second of terror where you feel the most alone in the world? When you flash back to all the decisions you’ve ever made to that point? And realizing that, like, we live our entire lives leading up to that moment?

Everyone:

Charlie: Sometimes I’m scared of Sean too, come to think of it.

[whatsortofschoolisthis]

Rowan to Tonks and Tulip: Swear to the gods, ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’ is gonna be on both of your epitaphs.

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Ismelda : I have an idea. It’s very uncool. It’s not illegal, technically, but it is a dick move.

Merula: Ooh I love it.

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Skye after spreading rumors about Erika Rath: I’ve only got six weeks to live

Murphy: Merlin, really??

Skye: I mean its just a guesstimate based on choices I’ve made

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Hecate: Merlin Jae, what happened?

Jae: * wrapping his hands in bandages* you know those chefs on the telly who cut up vegetables really fast?

Hecate: ….yes?

Jae: I can’t do that.

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Professor Sprout: Everyone has a toxic trait. except Hagrid, he’s too pure.

Hagrid: Wrong. my toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon.

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Jae: It’s nice to be wanted :)

Charlie, grabbing him by his shoulders and shaking him: Not by thE FUCKING LAW!

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Andre: you need a hobby.

Sean: I have a hobby.

Andre: Being bisexual and sad isn’t a hobby.

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Talbott: If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion, or my rhombus of doubt.

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Hecate explaining her and Sean’s latest cursed vault adventure to her Quidditch team: welcome to another episode of “this sounds like it should be a fever dream.”

Penny, in the background: And it certainly should be a fever dream.

Hecate: But it is, in fact, our  life.

[dreamychick]

Why is it always me? Like goodness. Talk about pressure. I mean. I will rise to the occasion but still.