#murrmielmur

[murrmielmur]

How iz treazon treatin' ya?

I can't really say. I still work in Temptations.

But it seems that you are asking for a first report.

I can proudly claim that I have been quite successful so far. I applied for a job with the @the-archangel-squad and was hired as @sandalphonsgoldteeth personal assistant, with the main task of stopping him from crying and annoying the other angels.

I managed to bribe him with special eye make-up and expensive dental jewellery. I tempted him with pornography and whores and he succumbed.

So that would be:

✓ Greed/Envy

✓ Lust/Lechery

✓ Pride/Vanity

= 3 Cardinal Sins

Personally, I am surprised that there is so little difference between their lot and our lot. So far I only know one angel who fulfils or even exceeds my expectations. ...

Sandalphon is such a crybaby and his enthusiasm for pornography is something I've only encountered massively in Hell. ( @furfurs-fotos for example, tends to cry and abuse porn regularly, though in his case both activities have subsided greatly as of late, so I heard.)

In short: Archangels are better clad than demons and smell better, but that's about it.

Report no. 1 to @lower-management

[murrmielmur]

Reading List

Now that @the-demon-team @the-archangel-squad accepted my job application, I have to prepare for my job as @sandalphonsgoldteeth's personal assistant. Under no circumstances should he begin to cry again ....

[deleted ramblings]

[murrmielmur]

New Start

I am in my new appartment now. It is very different from Hell. It is vast.

[murrmielmur]

Job Application: Heaven's HQ: @the-archangel-squad

Name: Murrmiel

Age: +6000 years

Current Residence: Outpost Earth

Current occupashion occupation: Fashionista

Soft skills: Ambition, Creativity

Job application photo

[murrmielmur]

I am Murrmielmur. I am a very unimportant demon. I used to work in Hell in the Department Bottom of the Barrel. But I wanted to give my life a new direcshition. Hell has granted me to work on Earth now most of the time. I wanted to opt out completely, but Hell said: once a demon, always a demon (unfair).

These are some of the faces I use. It's always good to have several faces on hand. Just in case. But my eyes always flicker between green and red. I can't change that. The same goes for my whiskers - I can't get rid of them. The always grow back immediately.

I got the golden nail polish from @archangelcrowliel. They are my idol and very gay.

This is my new Earth outfit:

From now on, I work in the Department Temptations. Since I don't have erotic talents, I want to concentrate on the fashion industry and seduce people into buying expensive clothes and ruining themselves with it.

But my real aim is to make it to Heaven and become an angel. This is what I think I would look like in Heaven.

Or perhaps like this:

Anyway, I applied for a job to @the-archangel-squad and I stopped @sandalphonsgoldteeth from crying, which means I have got the job (hopefully).

I have a dictionary now and I read in it every day. I make almost no mistakes any more.

[murrmielmur]

Gifts

Your Excellency @sandalphonsgoldteeth, I have brought you the whitest and softest towels to dry your tears. There is no need to cry anymore with these towels on hand.

2. I have invited this angelic creature to keep you company:

Or this one, if you prefer ...

Is that to your taste, venerable Sandalphon?

[murrmielmur]

Infernal day.

I believe to have gotten a report which waz not meant for my departmentz az it waz adrezzed to prickz I'd rather not mention.

Your Malificence,

yes, that is correct. I included your name as the recipient of a blind carbon copy because I wanted to keep you informed.

However, I will heed your warning and submit two separate reports in the future. It's safer that way. (Also I doubt that I will stay very much longer in my current position up there ...)

Reverently,

Murrmielmur

[murrmielmur]

Murrmiel panics

Oh, I'm so f*cked!!! Why am I making such a mess? This is soooo typically demon. I work hard for something and then screw the whole thing up out of sheer dumbassery.

Serves me right. Once a demon, always a demon.

[falls back into demonic swearing and growling]

How the Hell Heaven did I write @the-demon-team instead of @the-archangel-squad? What is wrong with me?

[throws dictionaries into a corner, bites off her golden nails and scrapes them across the surface of the walls of her apartment]

Right. So. [blows nose]

I need to get back on track. Go back to heaven, to Sandalphon, bring him more pornography and maybe nail polish (?). He might like nail polish. I need this job. I want to be good.

Bottom of the Barrel ->Temptations

Oh my Angels, this was a typo! I was so excited that my job application was accepted by @the-archangel-squad that I used the wrong address.