@soldierheartcd ✨ ( Christopher )
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After his mom left him, Christopher had a hard time finding his footing again. It didn’t help that while his father was ‘there’ for him, he felt like he was hardly home, or off with someone new. Even as a kid he didn’t hate him for it. He understood him. He was lonely because his mom wasn’t around. But Christopher couldn’t help but think who did he have? John Ross was always being shipped around, and whenever he was in town he almost felt like he would show off more than spend time with him. The only bond he felt enormously was with his grandmother Miss Ellie and Grandpa Clayton. Even then, it was really difficult for him. He’d always been a sweet kid, but the more he felt invisible the more he let his anger take over him. It’s something he’s had to deal with for most of his life. Reacting first, thinking later. It was almost like if he didn’t express what he was feeling immediately, no one would understand. No one would get it.
Not the most rational of processes, but Christopher was a heavily flawed human being. The feeling of abandonment only continued to evolve when he learned the truth about his birth, how he even go to Bobby and Pam, and how his uncle was involved with it. Resentment continued to build. The one good thing that he held onto was spending time with Elena. It’s why irrationally he called ‘dibs’ on her, even though he knew no one could really own the rights to someone. But he was just terrified that John Ross or someone else would swoop in and take this person that was finally paying attention to him. Wanting to spend time with just him. For Christopher that was everything. But he was young, and stupid.
When Elena didn’t show up to get married to him, he closed himself off. He couldn’t put more distance between himself, and Southfork. It was riddled with things that had been robbed from him, a legacy looming before him he felt like he would never attain, and a love that was probably never meant to be. Instead of doing the rational thing and trying to find answers, he left. He continued to pursue his course of studies and expanded his research teams. As much success as he’s reached on his own though, he has terrible insecurities with relationships, and even with his father he feels a need to prove himself time and time again. It’s an exhausting toll on him, and while he knows he needs to work on his reactionary antics, he’s not really done much to resolve them.