I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel for these goddamn comedy songs. I am learning a lot from this bracket.
Anyway, the match ups with week are:
My Pal Foot Foot by the Shaggs vs Karma Chameleon by Culture Club
And
My Humps by Black Eyed Peas vs the Hole by Jake Thackray
Which set of songs are worse?
My Pal Foot Foot and My Humps
Karma Chameleon and the Hole
My Humps and Karma Chameleon
The Hole and My Pal Foot Foot
Voting ended onJul 8, 2024
Judge's Opinion's Below the Cut
Adam's Votes: My Pal Foot Foot and My Humps
My Pal Foot Foot vs Karma Chameleon:
One of these songs was a major influence on Frank Zappa & Kurt Cobain. I vote for My Pal Foot Foot but as a badge of honor. It’s an all-time legend of outsider music, and the story behind it is fucking insane and wonderful. Boy George wishes he could have the same cultural footprint.
My Humps vs The Hole:
It’s another comedy song. I guess I understand why comedy songs keep coming up on this list, but the Hole sounds fine. I don’t hate My Humps the way some other people do, but I don’t have any affection for it either and Jack Thackary’s voice is charming enough, so I vote My Humps.
Sol's Votes- My Pal Foot Foot and My Humps
My Pal Foot Foot influenced Frank Zappa and that is a misdemeanor in music history. At the same time, it gets my vote because it is interestingly bad, whereas Karma Chameleon is part of what I call the lame 80's. Basically take every part of the new wave and drain it into an annoying husk.
I want all comedy songs to die. My Humps get my vote because it is a perfect example of a legendarily bad song. It is in the top 5 of the worst Black Eyed Peas songs, but stuff like The Time(Dirty Bit) and Double D'z have dethroned it as their worst.
Joe's Votes- My Pal Foot Foot and The Hole
My Pal Foot Foot” is so obviously fucked on a fundamental level, with obviously incorrect rhythm and tone that falls below what can even be excused as amateur that it makes me immediately suspect there’s some level of intention to it being poorly played. Whether they can’t play and that’s the point or whether they are trying to play bad intentionally, the result is a sound that is awful and genuinely unpleasant to listen to. It’s certainly interesting and I can understand why someone might be fascinated by it, but I find it totally unpleasant. “Karma Chameleon” on the other hand is just a kinda cheesy 80s pop jam that’s genuinely fun and has a fun melody and some fascinating instrumentation like its implementation of harmonica and I think it slaps. For me, “My Pal Foot Foot” takes worst song here, no contest.
“My Humps” is filled with vapid and pretty silly lyrics and the melody can come off as repetitive and kind of annoying after a while. On the whole, however, it’s still a pretty catchy jam that feels quite fitting among its ‘05 contemporaries and even has some interesting background tracks and turns like the piano outro towards the end, something I didn’t even know since I’m so familiar with the portion that would play in movies and on the radio. All in all, it’s still a decent time, but nothing to write home about. “The Hole” is clearly meant to be an absurd comedic song about the unexceptional event of having one’s finger stuck in a hole and an escalating series of shocked and punitive reactions from the world at large. It’s not the best joke, but it’s silly enough that I’ll admit I enjoyed it a bit, though it doesn’t really push its premise enough to be more than mildly amusing, at least to me. The music is serviceable for creating a sort of folk-story song kind-of feel, though it is pretty simple flat and doesn’t gain any complexity or notable change throughout the song, making it overall feel pretty dull. To be honest, neither are particularly terrible, but I think I’d choose to listen to “My Humps” again for the interesting and catchy instrumentation, so “The Hole” gets my vote for worst song in this round, but it’s not a particularly enthusiastic vote.
Well after two rounds of Hydrogen Bombs vs coughing babies, we finally have one match up where it is two coughing babies against each other vs a set of hydrogen bombs fighting each other. No, I will not specify which is which.
The Smurfs - I've Got A Little Puppy vs Tom McGovern - Government is Pasta
and
Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl vs Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines
IF YOU VOTED ALREADY PLEASE REVOTE AGAIN
What two songs are worse?
I've Got a Little Puppy & Hollaback Girl
Hollaback Girl & Government is Pasta
Government is Pasta & Blurred Lines
Blurred Lines & I've Got a Little Puppy
Voting ended onJul 2, 2024
Judges' Votes Below(To be updated as well)
See the votes as they were at the time(disregard mine, I had to in the image to see the results thus far)
Sol's Votes - I've Got a Little Puppy and Blurred Lines
Both Little Puppy and Government is Pasta both clearly have something in their DNA that they are pulling from. The former I Wanna be a Hippy and the latter is obviously a Rage Against the Machine and Beastie Boy's pastiche. Being a parody of Rage or the Beastie Boys is always going to sound better than pulling from an obnoxious techno song.
I do not care for either of these songs, but I do not hate them either. Blurred Lines gets my vote because at least I know Gwen Stefani has bangers from her No Doubt days and even from when she went pop, whereas Robin Thicke fucked up music copyright and dropped mid.
Joe's Votes- “I Got a Little Puppy” and “Blurred Lines”
“I Got a Little Puppy” is a prime example of music made solely to sell a novelty licensed song to kids that’s devoid of heart, thought, or frankly interest. “The Government is Pasta” is pretty unfunny and musically seems confused whether it wants to be a parody of Garage Rock or something like nu metal, but the absurdity of the whole song at least makes it interesting and is a mercifully short 2 minutes. “I Got a Little Puppy” is boring and grating in equal measure, and wears out its welcome with 3 and a half minutes of thoroughly uninteresting music.
I could understand someone seeing “Hollaback Girl” as cringy or annoying, maybe even kind of boring, but I honestly think it’s pretty fun. I’ll admit to some nostalgia, but there are some interesting bits of music and instrumentation going on there, as well as a kind of pep rally aesthetic that gives it an identity that I find pretty fun. “Blurred Lines” musically is fine, and I’ll set aside any of its supposed legal issues and just say it does have a fun and funky beat. It does get rather repetitive and feels fairly flat, the initial funk kick never adds much depth beyond its initial impression, and it ends up being a kind of solid if a bit forgettable sound. The lyrics however, are the star of the show here in the most negative fashion. They ooze utter sleaze and an overtone of misogyny to a level that leans into rape culture. It wasn’t quite as bad in that regard as I recalled, but still has several lines that leave a bad taste in your mouth. When it’s not being scummy, the lyrics are being just cheesy and lame, “what rhymes with hug me” and the self-snicker that goes along with it is the cherry on top of all the other issues that earn this song the title of worst this go around.
Matt's Votes- Government is Pasta and Hollaback Girl
I Got a Puppy is everything I don’t like about a kid’s show song. It’s annoying in its notation, composition and lyrics and is grating to the ears. I can’t recommend listening to this in any fashion at all. My vote is going to Government is Pasta because this is at least a rejected Schoolhouse Rock song some kid made to remember the presidents by equating them to pasta. This song has no idea what it wants to be but I’d rather send this through the bracket than I Got a Puppy.
Hollaback Girl isn’t great but I have fun listening to it if I ever catch it somewhere. Blurred Lines is the unfortunate battleground of legal issues and rapey tones aside, I just don’t care for this song. I have had to erase it because I worked at an arcade and this would play as part of the demo on a DDR cab and it would also play over the radio so I was getting a double dose most days. My vote goes to Hollaback Girl to send Blurred Lines home, no loser’s bracket
Adam's Votes- I Got a Little Puppy and Blurred Lines
I like Tom McGovern, although I’m mostly familiar with his TikTok, and I like this song just fine. It’s a very simple joke but it fits his style of humor and it’s under 2 minutes. More comedy songs should try to be under 2 minutes. I vote for The Smurfs, because Jeeeezus what the hell was that?
Hollaback Girl has better memes and doesn’t have any ick, I vote Blurred Lines
Double elimination time! This week we have two match ups going at the same time! This week, we have to pick who is worse of two brackets:
At a Medium Pace by Adam Sandler vs Buddy Holly by Weezer
and
Craftycorn Song by BENJIXScarlet vs Points of Authority by Linkin Park
If this does not work out, then I will try to go back to individual matches, but I do want to try and speed through the brackets. I feel no issue doing that with these two match ups at the same time.
What two songs are worse?
Craftycorn Song & At a Medium Pace
Points of Authority & Buddy Holly
Buddy Holly & Craftycorn Song
At a Medium Pace & Points of Authority
Voting ended onJun 24, 2024
Judge's takes below
Sol's Picks- At a Medium Pace and Points of Authority
These match ups are being done at the same time because these are match ups of Hydrogen Bombs vs Coughing Babies.
I went with Points of Authority for the round 3 pick, not because it is worse than the Craftycorn song, but for the sanctity of the bracket. Craftycorn feels like a nothing song, and it moving forward would be an insult to other songs. It would be like voting for Bucket Head in an election. Points of Authority at least is more interesting to discuss and criticize, especially since everything in Hybrid Theory sounds the goddamn same and is so juvenile.
I have never liked Adam Sandler so him moving forward is an act of spite. Also, Buddy Holly is not a bad song.
Matt's Picks- At a Medium Pace and Craftycorn
Mr. Sandler, what you sang is one of the most insanely idiotic songs I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent music were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone here is now dumber for having listened to it. You get my vote for worst song and may God have mercy on your soul.
I’m too old for Craftycorn Song to have any relevance in my life. Give me back my aux cord, we don’t wanna hear that weird shit no more.
Adam's Picks- At a Medium Pace and Craftycorn
My vote goes to the Adam Sandler song because I like Buddy Holly. Opening your song with “What’s with these homies dissing my girl?” is the equivalent of putting “If you don’t like anime, you can swipe left” in your dating profile. You’re gonna push a lot of people away, but the ones that stay are the ones you know you’re gonna vibe with.
Have you ever been in a room where an extremely online person makes a meme reference in front of a bunch of normal people?
That’s what the Crafty Corn song felt like. I don’t understand what’s going on and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.
Joe's Picks- At a Medium Pace and Craftycorn
I can understand how someone would find Buddy Holly grating, but to me it’s a pretty enjoyable song that sits comfortably in its position among the other passable radio rock of the mid 90s and its greatest fault is being overplayed as a radio hit and meme. At a Medium Pace is essentially 3 minutes of painfully attempting to squeeze comedy out of describing unusual sex acts in Adam Sandler’s warbly comedic voice set to fairly bland romantic ballad music. The joke which had very little steam to begin with, doesn’t really have any meaningful pay off and ends up falling very flat. While I’ll admit to having a nostalgia for Adam Sandler’s comedy from my youth, this song can be left in the past.
There’s really not much to say about Crafty Corn; the song’s flow is whack, lyrics are repetitive and dull, and the chorus is grating, with one of its only high points being its graciously short run time. Points of Authority is otherwise very much a Linkin Park song, maybe a middling song of theirs, but if you like their rock rap style you’ll probably be fine with it. But the Crafty Corn Song is just really not particularly enjoyable to listen to at all. It felt as though it was a really shallow and shameless cash grab based on some trendy thing kids were enjoying and a cursory search of the artist seems to confirm that, and is best left ignored and forgotten.
Starting after this round, we will be doing two rounds at the same time just so the bracket can move quicker, and it will be like this in the future, except for once we reach the top 4.
This week's match up is Happy Ending by Hopsin vs Mi Bebito Fiu Fiu by Tito Silva. Oh god this match up.
Which song is worse?
Happy Ending
Mi Bebito Fiu Fiu
Voting ended onJun 17, 2024
Panel opinions below the cut.
Sol's Choice - Happy Ending
Happy Ending is so much worse. Hopsin has the horrible fate of being influenced by Eminem, and being the corny run off that entails. The blatant Asian racism is so much, and it comes from someone who is an insufferable bastard. As weird as Mi Bebito Fiu Fiu is, it being in another language and not knowing the political context salvages it for me. Meanwhile, Hopsin raps about getting two kinds of "jobs" while fetishizing Asian women.
Joe's Choice - Happy Ending
Mi Benito Fiu Fiu is a cheesy romance song with cheesy Spanish lyrics and fun but simple production that fits right in with a song you’d hear on the radio or in a mall, and its melody structure blatantly being a repurposing of the song “Thank You” by Dido isn’t helping it stand out. The worst that can be said of that song is that it is corny and unexciting, which is high praise compared to what can be said of “Happy Ending”. The music is not that interesting aside from the constant switching to an awkward sounding modified voice to represent the women speaking in the song, but the lyrics are truly awful. They are crude and juvenile, but worse is that every line is a gleeful description of a sexual encounter with language that is wildly misogynistic and racist, delivered with no shame or reservation. The entire song feels like hearing the unhinged rambling or tasteless remarks of the family member you are ashamed to be related to at a family reunion, set to a bargain bin beat.
Adam's Choice - Happy Ending
Happy Ending is a concept so bad for a song that I don’t ever want to listen to it, so it wins by default.
