(warning: spoilers & me And dude bein a dumbass, also 18+ themes that usually are within the postal games but heavy warning for it on this one)
- because if i want to post the rest of the cutscenes, i want to know how all that happens first
- Oh hey wait i was tryin to get a chapter select screenshot and i got a screenshot where everything in the room is gone, its been a while
- This route should let me finish the playthrough cause theres no absurd final boss fight that makes my laptop overheat like crazy and crash the game
- Oh boy, no crouching or jumping or parkour here i come
- Oh also btw that's not how the cult compound looked but whatever
- I love how sarcastic he sounds
- I can't with the stock source engine metal clanging sounds
- Btw the hell happend to "its all about the heads" cause that's how you're supposed to take out the zombies in postal 2
- I forgot how annoying it was to catch on fire
- NO THERE AIN'T DUDE, THERE'S NO FUCKING LOOT CAUSE ITS A STUPID FUCKING TUTORIAL
- Ohhhhh, thats what the hostage thing is, i never read that
- HE CAN DO THE SOLDIER TF2 NECK SNAP
- "*Chest puffed up* No problemo. B|"
- What is this adhd meth head yappin about
- Ive come to a conclusion, this game is what woulda happened if dude was a methhead instead of a crackhead, this is methhead au dude
- Yknow this fucked screenshot thing is kinda counteractive to me being able to get screenshots to post
- Im gonna have a fucking stroke, okay whatever, I'll see if i can record it when i get my new pc
- Also i distinctly remember the zombies in postal 2 actually looking like zombies, and not party city halloween costumes at some shitty highschool/college halloween party
- "My mom always told me not to play with fire... But i Hate my mom"
- "Okay I'm goin to- NoOoo... i shouldn't do it."
- HE DOESNT EVEN SPEAK, THERES NO ANIMATIPM FOR HIM TO SPEAK, THAT TELLS ME THIS FUCKER'S JUST YAPPIN IN HIS HEAD he has adhd, This is literally what my train of thought is, yapping, random references, whatever's happening near me, any thing i have planned/want to do, etc etc
- I hate rhis fuckin diseased cat chapters so fuckin much
- I feel like it took 30min to finish that fucking chapter, honestly maybe an hour
- Vince gives no fucks about how p3's doin, i don't either after playing this game
- WAIT A TUMBLR POST POPPED INTO MY HEAD WHEN I NOTICED LIKE ONLY THE WOMEN HAVE JIGGLE PHYSICS, SO WHY DOESNT DUDE HAVE JIGGLE PHYSICS?? WHY IS HE NOT BORDERLINE A BEAR?? WHAT THE FUCK AKELLA
- I guess i walked out of bounds and it flashbanged me, but it's also frozen, great
- Nope its fuckin frozen, alright well
- Yeah so it crashed
- Done with the bodyguard thing, time for the path branching part
- While he didnt get cultist sex, he did get a badger saw
- I dont like how al talks, it's monotonous and sounds like he doesnt even use punctuation verbally
- Oh this intro screen doesn't bode well, oh boy
- What rhe fuck do you mean i need to put 3000 apples in that fucking box
- Nevermind it just needed us to do something before al queda ambushes us, you actually need to grab 12 apples
- He literally says in the pacifist ending that he ended up using jerry cans he "totally didnt burn people with" as gas, BUDDY YOU COULDA STOLEN SOMEONE'S GAS CAN AND BOOKED IT OUTTA CATHARSIS BUT NO, THE METH ADDICTION MUSTVE FRIED HIS NEURONS CAUSE HOLY SHIT
- This champ whisperer section is gonna piss me off worse than the diseased cats thing, i gotta fight off the same motherfuckers while keeping me and champ alive? Its not gonna go well, or quick
- I died but the ais are bugging
- Did not realize we're supposed to walk to an exit but okay
- How do you incarcerate a dog
- Oh the fuckin segways uuuuuhhhhhhhhhggggghh
- I dont know where im supposed to go after obtaining a segway
- Okay so apparently you can cut the cactuses with the machete
- I love when his thighs clip through his coat
- IT TOOK FOREVER TO FIND 7 OF THEM BITCHES AA
- Hey can we stop with the argh clips in the cutscenes? They're loud as hell and unnecessary
- Oh the slave boy thing, oh great
- Oh my fucking hell, rhe subtitles got fucked timing, oh i dont wanna have to figure out timing bullshit, cuase rhat involves me finding something that can display the milliseconds cause vlc doesn't have that
- WHAT RHE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WET PAINT RAGS I DONT SEE SHIT BUT WEAPONS
- OH SO YOU'RE TELLIN ME THE KARMA THING ACTUALLY WORKS??
- So you're not supposed to kill the paparazzi boss...
- Kay so using a tazer till tjey pass out apparently counts as murder
- Oh hes so easily manipulated its insufferable, have a conventionally attractive woman stroke his ego and hes barely even listening to know what hes agreeing to
- He took a fucking semester at devry, he calls being janitor a "cush job in the research division of the cosmetics lab", devry is a private school btw
- Oh his animation when hes running but also swinging the shovel is so stupidly cartoonish i hate it
- Dude i was so close to killing off all the cops what the fuck man, why are you frozen now, i know the graphics n gibs are probably a lot but come on man
- Yeah no it fuckin crashed
- Bitch i can't even see my mouse how the fuck am i supposed to click ok
- Oh wait, it only showed over the error popup, okay well i guess thats enough for today
- Oh hey wait the achievements are working, i got 3 today
- What the fuck am i supposed to do im confused as shit
- Bitch, i just figured out how to open the cages and it immediately fucking crashes after 6 got opened
- He just fucking told one of the monkeys "remember me in your will"
- FUCKING FINALLY, OH THAT TOOK WAY TOO LONG
- And he gets the monkey and shuffles through the gore flooded hallway and finally finds champ
- Oh hey, patrol mission 2 location
- HE DIDNT DO THE ANGRY FACE WHEN CHAMP RUNS OFF THE FUCK MAN
- The fucks this chapter? Battle damage krotchy, oh fuck i gotta beat him in a boss fight in this fucking disorienting game, i already had issues with his bossfight in postal 2
- Oh, we're delivering the krotchy bombs, that dude's not gonna wanna give up because why would he
- I love his coat physics
- Dont promise this dumbass virgins, he fuckin raised his eyebrows too when osama said virgins
- I'll hand it to Randy and his biker gang, hell yeah brother, gay cowboy n bikers showin osama dave n ron how things should work around here
- OH FUCK OFF WHY WE GOTTA KILL EM??
- Fuck you i aint killin em i like em too much
- I saw people ridin around on the segways shootin at me and i got so scared i somehow got backed up to the fuckin segway repo chapter
- Oh wait you're supposed to pick up the box off the ground, fuck your segway bullshit i aint usin that shit
- Nope the box is a part of the segway, this is fucking stupid
- Okay well i ended up killin the segway people anyway, where the fuck am i supposed to be going
- It was the mall, i was supposed to go to the mall, GREAT THANKS FOR TELLING ME GAME
- What do uoy mean fhis bitch would neatly park a fucking segway in a parking spot
- I hate that the nerd says that i fucking hate it I HAD TO FUCKING TYPE THAT, TWICE, CAUSE THE SUBTITLE WASNT WRITTEN PROPERLY
- At least i aint gotta worry about keeping up tje good route, i can finally slaughter these annoying fuckers
- Walked into thr postal version of GameStop and i got distracted by the references to other games, l4d2, postal, gears of war, gta, duke nukem (still not over dork blastem), other stuff i cant read right now
- Bitch you tellin me the jen walcott postal store doesn't have any fucking loot? Really?
- Okay I'm done killin nerds, the place is right here even though it took me forever to even find the fuckin place
- I hate how krotchy looks in this game
- Dude the box aint even empty
- "I was nervous" aint no fuckin way mister "she wants me" was nervous
- I love how 2 n 3 pose when answering the phone
- Mexico town finally
- His stupid fucking poses i hate him
- I skipped the intro screen but it said something about not havin the budget for fancy golden arrows or whatever, but we're findin La Farmacia
- Wait why are we lookin for the pharmacy?
- "Our economy was pretty much bjorked"
- "Mexico's awesome BD"
- I love his casual ass shuffling while the mayor's over there losin his shit that im smuggling drugs in footballs
- He was so psyched sbout killing the cops that he went binge drinking at a bar, and either had a bad drink or got drugged, or just regular blackout
- AND WE GET DEPORTED
- im not excited to see shades less dude up fuckin close, but the prison section though
- So glad i know a lil bit a spanish to be able to understand the basic stuff
- I fuckinf hste it i dont kike looking at oh
- Oh fun
- SEVERE ADD.
- Hes so fucking dumb i hate him
- Wait we're escorting Al? That's what this shit is? I just thought it was a general prison escspe
- He disassociates when hes blasted
- The prisoner with a clue loadinf screen font is the same as gta
- Btw whys osama in prison
- Oh they lit the cafeteria on fire
- What the fuck do you mean he will disappear if i leave him too far behind
- Whatever alright
- ONE OF HIS VOICE LINES WHEN HES HIGH ON CATNIP HE DOES A LOW DELAYED LAUGH RHRHGRGGE COREY WHAT THE FUCK MAN
- Oh wait what the fuck, of course this game also has shit that immediately cuts off high/drunk effects, its made by the same fuckin dev team
- All that, just to get a fuckin cat
- Oh no this part
- So i really dislike how penis like krotchy looks, why he got distinct glans, what the fucks thst avout
- Hes just shufflin round the mall still in rhe prison uniform
- Oh boss fight, rught
- HES SO SHOCKED KROTCHY WAS MAD
- So, dont right click the rocket launcher, got it
- So when you're low on health, your vision turns purple
- The rocket launcher is very specific and i dont like that
- I got stuck in the kitchen of that one place cause chairs were in tje way, and krotchy threw a krotchy bomb, and i got flung through the back wall behind a missing texture wall, the first time ive seen a missing texture in this game surprisingly
- I fucking hate this boss fight, this is worse and more annoying than postal 2, at least all you had to do was blow him up or shoot at the launched rockets, or use the krotchy bombs, here its like the rocket launcher is too finicky, the shotgun works the best, he's fucking fireproof for whatever reason, hes fast as shit, and he keeps running away, and his bombs are stupid
- Im done with this shit for the day, I'm halfway through, i think that's good enough
- After i got my new pc i forgot about this and got caught up with trying to beat this fuckin boss fight, and i got all the way to the sewer section, but it's fine, i don't mind replaying the sections after the boss fight
- Gay rodeo insane edition
- So glad we dont have to wear the keotchuysuit for long, it's detrimental
- Buddy, theres a rhino, the rhino is shitting, calm the fuck down man
- Also btw i went with the kill everyone route before i reloaded this, so im probably gonna do that again
- Hes fucking got voicelines for when hes gettin hit in the krotchy suit
- Rhino boss fight now
- Nevermind i went with the ecotologist route
- The ragdoll physics when you get hit by the rhino go crazy
- HR JUST TURNS AROUND AND WALKS OFF WHILE WAVIN BYE WHEN THE MAYOR SAYS HE CANT PAY
- Okay sewer time
- Still not gettinf over digerivoodoo by stands with fists because hes sad now
- Btw where did dude get his clothes back, we walked to the mall to get the krotchy suit still in the prison uniform
- Aint no fuckin loot down here
- Why yes dude it is a nice level design, for once
- You can stand on the random shit in the water
- Can dude swim?
- Oh, it doesn't even go up to his dick, nevermind then
- Oh great another mineshaft section, whats a postal game without a mineshaft
- Different song now but I forgot what it was called uhh LOST LEFT AND ALL ALONE HOW COULD I FORGET ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITES BECAUSE OF THIS GAME FUCK
- When you press alt-fire with rhe axe he fuckin spins
- Oh the song plays on loop for the entire section, great
- Oh wait the machete does the boomerang thing like in postal 2, coulda used that in previous chapters
- He also spins with the hammer
- Fall damage is a thing here btw
- Oh great its like apocalypse again but in a cave
- Btw digerivoodoo playin again for the cutscenes
- Wooo big plot twist this game makes me tired im not in the mood
- HOW DID CHAMP OPEN THE CAGES
- AHHH HIM LEANIN DOWN TO LOOK AT CHAMP TELLIN HIM TO HELP RHRGHRHHRHRGHRGRGRGGR THIS GmE
- I ACCIDENTALLY HIT CHAMP WHILE TRUIN TO GET HIM UNSTUCK ON THE ROCK AND CORPSE HE WAS STUCK ON AND HE RAGDOLLED
- Question how long is this gonna go for?
- I'm sorry what about flavor crystals
- PISS BOTTLE TIME
- This man and his hips I swear
- "Wow i didnt think plutonium would look so much like a bottle of piss" Dave you're not gonna believe me when i tell you this
- WE'RE ALMOST DONE
- Btw the video showed a regular porno, there was a women's chest on the screen
- Okay so we gotta get outta here unscathed, basically a different version of the apocalypse again chapter, got it
- Ethereal ass music for this chapter btw
- THAT'S NOT WHAT WAS IN THE CUTSCENE
- Fuckin mazes
- WE GOT THE FUCK OUT AFTER KILLING EVERYONE CAUSE CHAMP KEPT RUNNING AROUND
- ITS DONE IM DONE THIS SUCKED IM TIRED ITS 5AM
- And i got the bad end, as i figured
- "Crap. Well, i had to try."
- HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING
- Oh wait whats rhis oh the credits
- VINNIE DESI
- They credited rws multiple times, theres no fuckin way they're gettin away from this
- Oh my fu k this game is detrimental to my psyche
(warning: spoilers, talks of 18+ content, and dumbassery)
Gen:
- You can tell its different from base postal 2 cause theres a song playing in the intro, unlike postal 2
- Also this song legit sounds like it'd be in postal iii
- The fuckin bottles of vodka
- Oh boy its already something, and i went through some of the voice lines in the files and oh boy, i am really gonna need the subtitles
Monday
- Okay different day loading screens
- Well so, subtitles do Not say what the characters are sayin
- "Where is my benis? :----d"
- And they just fuckin shove him out the door
- Ooh wait can i parkour around this place
- The voice lines are mixed so fuckin bad
- I do like the background music that may or may not be playing from a radio somewhere
- Oh its so jank i love it
- Kay so the music was in fact playing from a radio
- At least everythings translated, albeit not well
- The map music's fun
- VOICE LINES ARE REALLY MIXED BAD
- Starting over cause i missed some screenshots, and i didnt know whether or not i wanted to fix the subtitles now or later (I'll fix em after this run)
- EYY WAIT WE STILL GOT MATCHES BY DEFAULT
- Nice "barb wired" fencing there, just like one section of barb wire
- WHY WAS THERE A DOG IN AN OFFICE ALSO WHY CANT I SEE THE DOG I HEARD A FUCKIN DOG BUT DIDNT STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO FUCKIN LOOK
- Took me longer than it should've to get out the asylum but im out, lets go look for loot and try to remember who we are
- You can walk through cars
- The posters n shit in this game look fuckin awful
- Also, only really seeing pics of women in an erotic setting, WHILE WE'RE PLAYING A MAN WHO'S BEEN IN PORN PHOTOSHOOTS AND MOVIES N SHIT
- This is the legit issue im havin tryin to find a ref for my magazine cover corkscrew idea, its just women, barely any slav men
- Btw, the people at the jolly organ place, do Not like you bein there before you have to be there, but its fine, cause i took $30 from em
- Was gonna ask where all the loot is, but i done found 3 diseased cow heads in front of a pentagram spray painted on a wall
- Oh look, gasoline
- Why the fuck does someone have napalm in their apartment
- Oh hey thats an episode of Botched, the episode with the lady that can crush soda cans with her breast implants
- Found a shovel that I somehow managed to mot see at all
- The song playing in the area with the militia station sounds like Russian green day
- Well that was quick, ALSO WE GET TO TALK TO ZHENYA NOW
- Oh no more russian green day? Okay then
- WAIT IM WHAT FROM WHAT?? ALSO WHY'S THE MAN TAKIN A SHIT BEHIND A BUSH MAD AT ME FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE SAID WHEN HES SHITTIN IN A FUCKIN BUSH, ALSO EVERYONE'S AFTER ME SUDDENLY??
- Oh wait theres the russian green day, its specifically on a radio somewhere
- Where the fuck is My house
- These houses are layed out so fuckin weird, how do i get anywhere
- Oh hey my house has its own loading zone what the fuck
- Nice apple sprites
- Oh his house is a fuckin disaster, whys the fridge in the dining/bed room, and not with the oven n stove
- All he fuckin has on this shelf is cig packs and canned dog food
- So many beer bottles, phone on the floor, broken beer bottles around the furnace
- More beer bottles in the bathroom
- A hookah or whatever the fuck in the hall
- Youd think thered be vodka bottles but whatever
- Its amazing how this nasty ass sumbitch got a job in the porn industry, when his diet consists mainly of canned dog food, beer, and cigarettes
- He probably eats those cigarettes too when he gets drunk, i wouldn't put it past him
- Oh look its those xmas trees we had to look for in the base postal 2
- Oh his house fucking sucks
- OKAY ZHENYA TIME
- This bathroom is ugly as shit why would you have pink marble for an apartment bathroom walls?
- Also btw, thing ive noticed about russia and this game, those fancy patterned rugs n blankets everywhere
- I FORGOT HES GOT A FEM OUTER VOICE NOW
- I picked up these bottles and it says "You picked up a 1 liter bottle of Stolychnaya :)" and it just says "Just what your brain needs" when its selected
- Why the fuck can we pick up dirty socks, also why are they weapons
- I dont like the sound the Stolychnaya makes when we pick it up, why it sound so scratchy
- Why is everything so patterned
- SO APPARENTLY YOU CAN DROWN IN THIS GAME
- BAD WATER
- I keep forgetting hes got fem voice what the fuck man
- So he may have gotten forced vaginoplasty, i dont give a fuck, this man is transmasc as hell
- Oh i hate this moron ALSO CANON THAT ZHENYA AND CORK HAVE FUCKED BEFORE, But he forgot everything so thats why we're here
- Gonna make this a drawing at some point
- Fuck it, i might redraw multiple scenes from this cause p2 recolor Corkscrew just pisses me off
- Oh, so Stolychnaya is an actual brand of vodka, also it does have the vodka function, the world goes topsy turvy when you use it, but it maxes out your health, cause thats how vodka works here i guess
- Accidentally used a bottle of vodka
- DAMMIT THE LOADING SCREEN COUNTERACTED THE WOBBLY EFFECT OF THE VODKA WHAT THE FUCK MAN
- Oh does Cork get alcohol withdrawals or somethin?
- It appears he does, his heart's doing the spasming thing that p2's does
- WHYS THERE A SIGN THAT SAYS MEGAFUCK IN CYRILLIC
- Oh wait ohhhh, he got convicted of organ theft or some shit so thats why hes at the prison and why we gotta go there
- Kay so the machine gun breaks the game
- The pistol fucking sucks
- Oh the vodka pitches our voice down and slurs it
- MEN PORN, FINALLY, TOOK ME TIL THE FUCKIN PRISON TO FIND MEN IN AN EROTIC SETTING
- Only that one fucking cell had pics of men
- Sherlock holmes huh? Thats the best you could do?
- Cork is such a yapper
- FINALLY ONE DAY OVER
Tuesday
- HE'S SO STUPID
- The captions don't help his case either
- HE DREW A LIL HOUSE ON THE MAP TO MARK WHERE HIS HOUSE IS
- Hey can i get more vodka i ran out yesterday at the prison
- We got $410 from yesterday at least
- Dude, at least p2's trailer and shed had some shit like every day, this fucker aint got no fuckin loot in his shitty fuckin house, i gotta grab stolychnaya from other people's houses
- I just realized Cork legit eats canned dog food out of a dog bowl, how is he alive, let alone looking like if a postal dude was russian and built like hugh Jackman
- Found some catnip though
- Why do some of the characters fuckin sound like that
- Also, cop house, shed FULL of loot, no blades or guns that i could see though
- Cant fuckin wait to get a blade of some kind cause these guns (minus the shotgun) sucks
- I FORGOT HE DOESNT HAVE A DICK SO WE CANT PISS ON OURSELVES TO PUT OUT FIRE FUCK HE JUST PISSES ON THE FLOOR
- Oh fuck I'm gonna need a walkthrough, i cant just do shit in whatever order like in p2
- I GOT A FRYIN PAN
- He fuckin described his dick as athletic, I couldn't process what else he said cause i got a twitch stream playin in the background but what do you mean your dick is athletic
- "Its not just funny, its magic" or whatever the fuck
- I hate this man hes so fuckin dumb
- Btw that vpi fuc whatever the fuck its called, way too convoluted, and the walkthrough im usin has some typos, why do we need to through almost every damn room in that building in a specific and confusing order just to get told they dont sell dicks, just teeth
- He's so desperate to get A dick again, i think he was begging the jolly organ dude til he insulted him
- I never wanna do that interrogation shit ever again what the fuck was that
- I got arrested and it crashed
- So uh, where's the armory? Cause gasoline n cow heads are hard to come across and i Just got a frying pan
- Dammit i gotta do all that shit again cause i saved only after thte vpi shit
- The fem voice is throwin me off so fuckin hard, like imagine, this big muscular man who acts like hes the epitome of man, sounds like that all cause he got his dick stolen and replaced with a different set of genitals
- "Keep your hands away from the zipper, You porno dealer!"
- Its gonna take so fucking long to fix these subtitles
- Okay here we go, creepy interrogation section take 2
- So the armory was one of those rooms behind a room thing
- Had to set off the fire alarm to get my shovel back cause they put it in a cell
- GUESS WHO GOT A ROCKET LAUNCHER
- I just realized they took my fuckin money, my $500+ that i had accumulated over the span of Monday and Tuesday
- FUCKIN RIFLE AMMO
- Why the fuck are there dervish cats
- The walkthrough was right, this guy talks like weird al
- Also why they have osama sound like a character in a fairy tale what the fuck, and why is he called "Bread"?
- Okay cult time, because of course theres a cult in a postal game
- Before i go fuck up the cultists im takin peoples money cause the cops Also steal your cash here like in postal 2, dumb mechanic btw
- Okay cultists dead, stupid easy btw, just throw a cow head and a moltov and wait in a different room
- Now we gotta figure out this mr Ivanovich guy
- Wait hold it, he supports the dick cult but hes tryin to eradicate porn?
- This game is so fuckin Russian, and i barely know anything about russian culture, but its so fucking russian
- IM SORRY CLEAN FLUSHED TOILETS FOR ONCE?? YOU DONT EVEN SEE THAT IN POSTAL 2
- Financially supports the dick cult, has porn on the tvs in the central committee building, but is trying to purge all sources of porn, right
- He does know like so many fuckin houses in this forsaken town have posters of women in erotic settings right? Hell, the fuckin prison has porn posters in the cells, every tv ive seen has either shown porn, that specific episode of botched, or nothing
- Why doee he sound like a cartoon character
- CORKS DICK IS BIG AND HAIRY HE SAID SO HIMSELF
- ALSO WHY IS THAT ONE VOICELINE FOR CORK A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT VOICE ACTOR, THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE
- My head hurts
- We still need to 2 do more things before we can go home
- I JUST REALIZED WHAT THIS IVANOVICH GUY SOUNDS LIKE, HE SOUNDS LIKE EURO DOCTOR BARBER FROM FLAPJACK
- All that just to tell us he doesnt have anything to do with genital theft or whatever
- Btw no, posters from other houses will not count for the posters from the freak house
- PLUNGER IN HOLE MOMENT, HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING
Wednesday
- HE FUCKIN FORGOT ABOUT THE PLUNGER ENTIRELY, ALSO APPARENTLY HE DIDNT NOTICE TIL HE WENT TO GO PISS??
- I think cork has developed some kind of alter system with this cause what the fuck is going on, his "inner female" is his actual voice for right now because of whatever fuckin surgery we went through, but this "inner female" is acting like an entirely seperate entity like how p3 is with p2
- Hes so desperate to not fuckin have a vag that hes threatening to stuff the hole with rags and a vacuum cleaner
- Oh also i got a rifle now I forgot to type it down yesterday cause i was already doin too much and my head hurt
- Oh and i got my $500+ back after looting like 7 different buildings
- It appears loading saves detranslates the day screens
- "Great news WoAoaHhHhh"
- WAIT THE NEWS PAPER SAID "Trans voted for most beautiful" LESSGOOO
- Im sorry why is there a parade of white krotchys
- Okay the cop house is empty, weird
- A shootout happened cause i walked near a freak and i just hear an see a fuckin car explode and flip over
- OH MY FUCK TALK FASTER BRO
- Okay to the hangar, btw doors only open when you have them as a mission or somethin, like how the postal 2 map only expands once you have an objective in a certain area
- I'm sorry was that a 4th wall break i heard? But couldn't properly understand cause the subtitles aren't translated properly
- Oh boy opposite end of the map here i come
- OH THE WHITE KROTCHYS ARE THE TAMPON PEOPLE I HEARD ABOUT IN THE FILES OHHHH Why the fuck are these in the game
- Why are they everywhere though
- Oh right, the elephant
- OH YEAH PHOTO THING, WE GOTTA DO THE PHOTOSHOOT TO GET THE PHOTO AND HAVE PEOPLE SIGN IT
- So the elephant killed everyone, also more protestors because of course
- Literally walking to our job drunk on vodka, like that one hc i saw a while ago
- I hate these reasons for losing his dick, he legit just said it went inside out
- He "slammed his penith in tha car door"
- HE WAS HIS BEST STAR
- "Its against my principles"
- Wait no i wanna se the pic it wont show me when its on the clipboard
- OH FUCK OFF I GOTTA DO THAT AGAIN?
- Oh i gotta do the drug dealer shit again
- "Hero dick"
- At least the elephant thing is a cutscene and not us actually having to retrieve the drugs
- I hate that the voice actor changes for specific lines
- I think i need to learn how to add/time subtitles, cause some of these captions either don't exist or are timed bad
- OH WAIT I SEE IT, IT TOOK ME A SECOND TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL IM LOOKIN AT BUT I SEE IT I think
- I wonder if its in the dev files cause i am still strugglin to see what angle it's at, hes uncut though, although i thought that was already common knowledge
- I need to learn to save before important shit
- Elephant drugs take 3
- A cop snuck in and is already shooting at people during the cutscene
- SAVING THIS TIME
- Mind you im doing this shit 3 times over cause im tryin to look at a fuckin dick pic
- WIAT I JUST REALIZED HE SAID "I could lick them, but that is against my principles" ABOUT THE DICK PIC
- Oh wait its on the shelf, started this over twice just to see it on a fucking shelf
- Thats not a dick thats a fuckin hairless rat (edit: naked mole rat, but still doesnt change my point)
- I cant tell if it's just a hairless rat or if its a hairless rat face photoshoped on a dick
- Well that's fuckin lame, yall got pics of fully naked women but you cant have a regular ass pic of a penis? The fuck?
- Fine ill just make pics of it myself
- I'M SORRY IS CORK ANTI SEMITIC?? OR ARE THE SUBTITLES SETTING HIM UP? THE FUCK???
- The gay clubs are always nice
- Scratch what i said about the gay club being nice, we gotta get made fun of in order to notorize the hairless rat pic
- Its canon Shtopor is pretty
- Dude please stop making up reasons why you no longer have a dick, just say it was stolen, cause it was
- How the fuck do i get this shit notorized
- The extras in this game have weird ass fuckin voices and i dont like it very much
- All this for a pic of a hairless rat, really fuckin disappointed its just a hairless rat and not an actual penis, yknow like we were told
- Oh we got a WcDonalds? No its a MacFuck (Макфак)
- Okay airport time
- WAIT WE ACTUALLY GET THE PENIS IN A JAR?? I THOUGHT THAT WAS A JOKE
- Walking into glass in this game Also breaks said glass, and hurts, good to know
- OSAMA GET YOUR BITCH ASS OVER HERE I GOT MY DICK BACK
- Completely forgot there are birds in this game, and they shit
- Mutilation huh?
- Okay so basically whats going on is, Shtopor is fucking dumb and doesnt pay attention to anything but him and his dick, and he got tricked into giving it to an organ thief
Thursday
- Ohhhh, the "surgery" was Osama trading out his dick for ours, against our will
- No more fem cork at least
- KAY FINAL DAY IT MAY BE 4:24AM BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK I WANNA FIX THOSE SUBTITLES AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET A HEAD START WHEN I WAKE UP
- Btw still dont like that cork has like 2 different masc voice actors for like no reason
- Oh hes wantin blood oooohhh
- EVEN THE PERSON TYPING OUT THE NEWSPAPER IS TIRED OF THIS SHIT
- Oh btw apparently there's no fuckin blades in this game, which is stupid btw, give me my machete n scythe please i feel he would like the machete
- WHY IS THERE PUNK POLKA MUSIC PLAYING, AND WHY DO I HEAR THE CAT RAIN FROM FRIDAY IN POSTAL 2??
- Oh him stubid lil drawings i love him so much
- ITS NOT EVEN RAINING- Oh wait it is raining cats, why is it raining cats
- Okay whatever i guess today is the apocalypse for this game
- APPARENTLY THE DRUG PEOPLE HATE ME?? EVEN THOUGH I WAS ON THEIR SIDE???
- Oh wait did the drug dealers take over the cop house is that what happened
- Oh hey look its the 87 daifukyu alternator
- Yknow what, ill give this the benefit of the doubt, its got the sniper rifle, that's more than what postal 3 did, and it's an fps, unlike postal 3
- Wait do the subtitles just not work anymore? Or was there not any for the masc voice lines?
- Oh boy love watchin a massive shoot out between the civilians, threats, military, and cops, always fun to see shit hit the fan
- Oh my fuck wait are the cops gonna try to arrest another cop or military guy? Ive only ever seen that happen like once in postal 2 cause the ai gets confused
- No wait i think we're good
- Cork is so fuckin happy to be able to piss with a dick again, i put myself out and he went "Sweeeeettt B)"
- OH THERES SCISSORS I DIDNT FUCKIN KNOW THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN
- Another thing ill give this game the benefit of the doubt for, ACTUALLY FLUSHING THE FUCKING TOILETS, NOT LEAVING PISS IN ALL OF EM, UNLIKE PARADISE, TGIS GAME IS LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME IVE SEEN ACTUALLY FLUSHED FUCKING TOILETS IN THE POSTAL 2 GAMES
- Okay so Cork can eat the dog treats, and he doesnt gag like p2, but i have no fuckin clue what the hell hes sayin theres too many cats falling out the fucking sky for me to hear
- And we're blowing up cars now i see
- Hey is Osama gonna be a boss fight? Cause i feel like he is
- I think one of the freaks called me a freak
- Also its fun to see the threats get weeded out during these shootouts
- I FUCKIN SHOT A GUY IN THE NAPE, LIKE RIGHT ON THE SPINE
- Im literally standing on a car and bandits keep comin out one by one, as theres just a pile of bodies n guns
- IM SORRY ARE THE DIRTY SOCKS RETEXTURED SCISSORS? THE FUCK?
- FETCH WIH PUBBY
- Never mind the head despawned
- He just fuckin said napalm charred bodies are tasty
- Oh my frames
- Im sorry why is the stairs breaking a mechanic
- I never wanna hear drunk lagged out corkscrew ever again
- "Thats not ketchup... Its boring here, lets catch some air." AND CREDITS ROLL AS IT ZOOMED OUT ON BIN LADENS BLOODIED FUCKIN CORPSE AND BLACK SCREENS
- The credits are doin the star wars prologue thing too
- Well that's a game
- Its fine at least i get to look at corks tits at the game summary screen
- Yknow what, the saying "bigger the tits emptier the head" is pretty fuckin true cause holy shit does that apply to him
- First thing he says when he shows up is "Mornin sunshine B3"
- Rgrhgrhhrgrh p3 rgrgrhrggrgrgr
- Oh thats what the encampment is
- WE GET TO GO TO THE LUCKY GANESH AGAIN FINALLY
- EYY THE COMPOUND I THOUGHT IT WAS SEALED OFF AFTER APOCALYPSE WEEKEND
- Oh hey look Big McWillis aint tiny anymore, unless thats an old pic, also ita the rest of the people ive managed to piss off minus Vince n the Al queda dude
- Wait no that is an old pic cause vince got got by the zombies and i had to blast his head open
- One of the al queda people just said sup holy shit
- Okay looting before i do anything major like leaving
- I'm pretty fuckin sure this is the place right before you get to tora bora, just remodelled to look like a hippie underground
- I think i got everything
- Wait no theres another section
- THE LUCKY GANESH MUSIC
- Ooh wait rhe guy who wrote on my maps got a nice lookin curvy handwriting i like that
- Oh wait hold it this map has the compound like covered up ALSO WE GOT TO GO TO THE COMPOUND TO GET WEED OR SOMETHIN, BUDDY I DONT THINK THEY EVEN GOT A BUILDING ANYMORE
- THIS IS THE PLACE BEFORE THE TORA BORA MOUNTAINS I KNEW IT WAS FAMILIAR
- Yeah it shoots us out to the sewers behind where our house was
- Why is there survivalists here
- At least they're not hostile
- Yeah no that guy wasnt wrong about this seal thing being impenetrable this is industrial grade
- Man, all this work n shit, just to get our dumb fuckin dog back cause his dumbass ran back into the town cause he saw a cat
- Why the fuck are people payin this cop standin next to the fire in the hole $10
- Oh so thats why theres an area behind the lucky ganesh
- Also why yes as a matter of fact i can in fact find an alternate entrance to the lucky ganesh
- How do i get in the building though
- Damn ice physics
- Theres nothing on top or behind, is it the lil side area next to the tunnel?
- Nope, a busted in window
- Oh my fuck Habib's got a postal3 arcade machine
- Hey Habib i need a blasting cap please don't say it's stupid expensive
- ITS 500 HABIB WHAT THE FUCK I ONLY GOT 400
- Kay well i guess im lootin the hotel and/or the encampment
- The hotel only had $70 and it was all in one room
- Does the zack ward building have anything left?
- The vent sounds are makin this place ominous as hell
- Still pissed they blocked off the locker room
- Got a $10 from the main office
- Cant open the vault
- Come on man i need at least $20 more
- Hey question, if Zack ward and the gingers (excluding Dude) turned the police station into an amusement thing, where do you go when you get arrested?
- Btw did a lil research and the lawmans chaps are in the new police station, aka the hole, since Zack Ward took over the old police station
- The Hole is also where you get sent after being arrested, and the lawmans chaps are basically just police uniform
- Not a damn thing but $10 and a diseased cow head outta that place, btw i think its coded so you're Technically not supposed to go back, but you're able to, cause all the gingers that stand on that balcony during the boss fight load up, but they arent like actively hostile until I guess you start shootin at em or something
- I know theres the cash 4 cats thing i dont wanna use that right now cause that just requires me picking up cats and finding a guy, lemme try my way first
- Thankfully unlike the military guys in the base game, the survivalists dont care about me bein on rooves n shit
- 2 BANDITS AND A SURVIVALIST DIED IN A FIGHT AND AT LEAST ONE OF EM DROPPED CASH, AND I KILLED THE GUY THAT KILLED THE SURVIVALIST CAUSE HE WAS JUST A RANDO WITH AN AXE AND HE ALSO DROPPED MONEY
- FUCK YEAH GOT $40 OUTTA THAT
- HABIB I GOT $500 NOW, IT'S STUPID THAT YOU'RE CHARGING ME $500 THOUGH
- Wait i had a thought, is there an electrical box here i can break? Cause those grated shelves make me think i can break an electrical box to unlock those
- Wait there's a vault door in the back, Habib what in the hell are you hiding?
- 3 what did you do
- HABIB WHY WAS THERE A GIMP ARMY IN THE BACK OF YOUR STORE?
- 3 why the fuck did you open this ALSO I COULDA JUST KICKED IT AND IT WOULDA OPENED??
- Why is their weapons lube n dildos
- They aint even usin em, they're just tryin to scratch me with their suit hands
- Why are we goin back into the sewers
- Ladder creakier than p4s joints (i havent played postal 4 yet)
- No really why are we goin into the sewers and why are we dealing with an army of people in gimp suits equipped withh dildos n lube as weapons
- WHY DO THEY HAVE ZOMBIE DOGS
- THE SCYTHE DOES NOTHING I HAD TO LIGHT EM ON FIRE TO KILL EM
- Why the fuck is there a Gatlin gun down here and why was there waves of gimp people comin out that hallway like target practice
- Oh the gimp sewers are just called "habibs survival store"
- Wait were goin up i see light
- OH GREAT ONCE WE GOT OUT THE DAMN GIMP SEWER IT JUST VANISHES FUN, P3S MAKIN US SEE SHIT
- I like to believe p3 is bored and needy and wanted to get a reaction out of p2 thats why that all happened /headcanon cause i refuse to believe any other reason for why that happened, not even mike j n vince wanted to add some spice cause that like adds nothing to the plot
- My brain is fried
- OKAY THE STAIRS IN THE BACK OF THE LUCKY GANESH ARE FUCKIN BROKEN SO NOW MY ONLY EXIT IS THE STUPID FUCKIN HALLUCINATION GIMP SEWERS
- This fuckin snowman in the doorway of the lucky ganesh isnt turning yellow what the fuck man
- Fuck this I'm going to the compound
- Gotta find the damn path to the compound first
- Theres a chainsaw in this fenced off area under the parking garage and i want it
- There aint even fuckin money behind the counter at this pit stop gas station thing near the compound, couldn'tve yall done that like the original lady that owned the place?
- Oh one of the cop cars that got left here got fuckin buried
- Okay well Uncle Dave still lives at the compound, and i see hes got the building rebuilt so its actually a building, but he aint doin the whole cult thing anymore so he just started the weed business
- Also we basically gotta do his work for him because of course
- Awh wait dammit i just noticed they boarded up all the climable shit near the secret entrance area
- Btw dave looks like a parody of bob ross
- Ah yes, sanctioned pruning device, aka weed whacker with a circular saw blade mounted on to it
- OF COURSE SOMETHING GOES WRONG AND OF COURSE ITS SOME GOVERNMENT SHIT
- OH YEAH DAVE HOW DO YOU PLAN ON KEEPIN THIS SHITHEADS OFF MY BACK WHEN YOURE UP THERE?
- What radio? And what the fuck am i supposed to tell dave? That hes doin a shit job at guarding me and that they'll already be in the building before i can get in?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN RADIO TO TALK TO DAVE HES RIGHT FUCKIN HERE APPARENTLY
- WHATD I FUCKIN SAY ABOUT EM ALREADY BEIN IN THE BUILDING BEFORE I CAN GET IN???
- Dave why do you move like a playable character i dont like that
- Well good to know Dave is fucking indestructible cause those deet bastards got rocket launchers
- What the fuck is a bean bag gun and does it instakill (edit before posting this: it does not instakill)
- Kay well they only boarded off that secret entrance area cause them deet asshats were hidin behind there
- Btw theres a beta gun under the stairway in that secret entrance but i literally cannot get to it
- Btw theres a secret thing behind the compound that you gotta "Press R and hold lmb to collect your virgins!" (Its just 2 postal babes with audio of a woman moaning into a shitty fuckin mic and random whip cracks)
- Oh the secret behind the compound when activated despawns after a bit
- Okay well i guess that's it?
- AND THE COMPOUND PATH IS BLOCKED OFF AGAIN
- Oh my fuck p3 why are you an attention starved fuckin asshole man, fuckin needy fat ass bitch demands something fucked up happens or else he'll do it himself
- First time in a while my machine pistol bugged out
- Oh boy havin to go through this entire fucking camp like i had to at the terrorist camp part in the base game all just to get some c4 oh but wait, someone wanted it to be more "interesting" SO HE KILLED THE FUCKING SARGE AND NOW EVERYONE HERE WANTS TO FUCKING KILL ME AND I HAVE TO MANAGE TO GET OUT THIS FUCKING PLACE ALIVE ALL FOR THIS FUCKING DOG THAT JUMPED OUT THE FUCKING CAR CAUSE HE SAW A DAMN CAT
- Can you tell im not really in the mood to play this right now? (For multiple reasons n factors)
- I heard a rocket launcher, correction I hear a rocket launcher
- I CANT EVEN SEE WHOS SHOOTING THE ROCKET LAUNCHER THEY'RE TOO FAR OUTTA MY LINE OF SIGHT
- BUT THEY'RE LIKE SHOOTING 6 ROCKETS AT A TIME HOW THE FUCK
- Okay i got the rocket launcher asshole (huntin rifle my beloved, also p2s fucked up breathing that sounds like he snores in his sleep)
- Of course a tree just so happened to have fallen and suddenly caught on fire so we now cant go back the way we came we gotta go through some fucked up route
- Dont worry Dude, i also feel like shit
- I KEEP FORGETTING THE BURN BARRELS FUCKIN HURT IF YOU STAND TOO CLOSE
- WAIT WHEN HE SAYS "Ow.. cold turkey" HE SOUNDS SO DEJECTED THAT THE HEALTH PIPES FUCKIN HURT
- Dude what the fuck is your deal with pizza why do you suddenly gag when you eat the pizza
- Oh look a bridge i wonder whats gonna happen here (edit note: nothing happened)
- Why are we going back down
- Is it by chance going back to the "obligatory sewer complex"
- P2 is so fucking sarcastic
- Dude would manage to singlehandedly piss off a group of people just by talking
- Hey at least we aint gotta do a whole escape the tora bora sequence
- WHO THE FUCK RIGGED THE SEAL TO BLOW UP BEFORE WE COULD GET THERE?
- And p2 just casually hops down like "oh well at least i got an extra ied, never know when one might come in handy"
- Wait does paradise lost only go up til Friday?
- Again real ironic that the Hell Hole is where our trailer originally was
- Oh boy fuck loads of loot in one area is a sign for a boss fight, tjat tracks considering this part is called "The Showdown - Hell Hole"
- Not a fan of all the screaming going on with no identifiable sources
- Oh boy mad cow zombies, missed those fuckers and them sneezing organs at me
- Okay so there's a chainsaw but its on this spiral tree thing next to this lava pit and ive already died once trying to get it so i guess i wont be getting a chainsaw this run
- Btw how much of any of this is supposed to work against an irradiated dog turned mad cow hellbeast
- Oh look obstacles, didnt really see much of that in the base game beyond like, bein kidnapped by the rednecks and havin to get out of their brewery fuckin place
- Dude, we're In hell (context: he said somethin about no more room in hell)
- I turned a corner and went to go save and what the actual fuck am i looking at
- Oh its the fuckin dog things from the cockasian, but not as zombie lookin, and have glowin red eyes
- See heres the thing about the zombies hating us, first off, mad cow mike js wedding with the bitch going wrong, that aint our fault, its her fault for gettin pissed at just the sight of Dude, and Mike js fault for not knowin beforehand about her previous relationship with the dude whos name she got tatted on her chest, secondly, its really on the zombies cause they started off hostile since apocalypse weekend hence Dude having to kill them, third, even when Dude was working with mad cow mike j, during that time the zombies only tolerated Dude cause he was working with mad cow mike j
- Tldr the zombie part aint on Dude
- I blame p3 for the colemen thing, blame p3 for the gimp thing, blame p3 for the survivalist camp thing
- Dude had nothin to do with the zombies breakin in to the church
- I do kinda blame Dude for the zack ward thing, and p3
- There's a lot of t posin skeletons in this area
- Oh wait there's money next to this skull
- Also it crashed as i was trying to load a save cause i didnt realize there was a medkit nearby
- I hate these stalactite things
- Whys there a cow in a giant bird cage
- Kay so my laptop does not like this boss fight
- ALSO OF COURSE DUDE WOULDN'T TEACH HIS DOG A DAMN THING
- Champ got the mad cow mike j treatment and and spit out green flame gary coleman bombs
- Yeah no there wasnt an official divorce cause you left Dude after he tried killing himself to get away from you and you left the dog at the pound to get euthanized
- Wair did Mike end up getting married to the bitch or is he stuck with her and she made him come here?
- BRO SHES KILLING HERSELF WHILE TRYING TO KILL ME
- Btw does "fix" me include killing me, cause i just got dude bisected
- Oh he hates us too that's why he's here and regening the bitch when her health bar gets low, right
- Do we gotta do this 3 times? Also why aint p3 helpin?
- Wait dont tell me we gotta do the ensmallen shit on her too
- I dont like how the machine pistol bugs out , it bugged out during a boss fight
- I hate this
- Some poor designer had to render this woman's bush (editors note: i like body hair, i dont like this woman)
- WHY IS THIS STILL GOING
- Also i missed some screenshots of that but ill get em in the second run when i go achievement hunting
- ALL THAT JUST FOR MUTATED HELLBEAST BITCH TO SNATCH CHAMP WHEN WE JUST FUCKIN HAD HIM ALL CAUSE SHE DEMANDS CUSTODY OF THE DOG SHE DOESN'T FUCKING WANT JUST TO SPITE DUDE
- Also mike doesn't actually want her thank fuck so i do think he was stuck with her
- Love how quick p3 was to just fuckin give up on saving champ
- OH "The Showdown - The Final Showdown" ARE YOU SURE OR ARE YOU GONNA KEEP THIS SHIT GOIN??
- Its the next day im gonna try to start this while my laptop is still relatively cold
- Nevermind lukewarm it is, cause the game has to do that popup screen for like 5min then the game thing
- And its taking 5min to load the save
- I cannot fucking see whats happening
- And it crashed while i was tryin to lower settings so i could get more frames
- Champ was not this laggy, Mad Cow Mike J was not this laggy (mike j wasnt laggy at all btw), what the fuck is going on
- Is it just not loading anymore?
- Wait i think lowering the resolution might help (lower res didnt help now matter how low it was)
- Doesnt mike j voice demon bitch? Cause i can hear his voice behind all the sfx and editing (i like to believe all demon characters are voiced by mike j)
- ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE EATEN BY HER?
- I take me dying as i drop down the esophagus as a no (when you get pulled into her mouth you gotta tear up her mouth abcesses and she'll spit you out)
- I GOT 3/4 OF THE WAY DOWN AND I DIED
- I CANT SAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT
- Back down at 3/4 it's still barely playable, i cant even aim at the abscesses in her mouth cause the framerate is so fuckin bad
- Dude my brain is running on low framerate
- It bugged while i was still in her mouth so instead of bein launched out, it showed me getting spat out but it kept me in her mouth so I couldn't even shoot anything and my submachine gun also bugged
- Fuck this im lettin my laptop breathe
- Okay day 3 on tryin to finish this fucking boss fight
- I wish there was a way to get the cutscenes without playing the game, like there was with postal 3
- It bugged when i was in her mouth again
- Okay so, she does some damage to herself on the get go, so if i can wait out her killing herself this might work
- Okay so basically, theres no fuckin point in busting open her mouth cysts
- It crashed
- Whatever anyway speedrunning strat this, reload a save whenever a run isnt going good
- Imma let my laptop breathe first i got stuff i gotta do anyway
- Yknow what no, imma just get screenshots from a video instead of putting my laptop through mountain climbing levels of labor, i will be achievement hunting though, thats obligatory
- I really wonder what 4s gomna be like cause i looked at some gameplay for drawing reference and i noticed it had a similar interface as 2, AND ITS ACTUALLY FPS AND HOPEFULLY NOT AS DISORIENTING
- Anyway paradise lost time
- Launching paradise lost ooo wait i like that launch pop up that looks nice
- Give me a breather after playin postal 3 for the past few weeks
- IT GOT A LIL CINEMATIC THING WHEN OPENING I LOVE IT
- Seek irony song on the title screen love to see it
- I love that you dont even have to finish the game before you can see the credits that's nice
- Again, postal 2 my beloved
- I keep forgetting Zack ward is himself in this
- Stands w fists song durin the credits
- WAIT DID I JUST SEE A LINK TO KEVIN MACLEOD IN TNE CREDITS HOLD ON
- I DID SEE A LINK TO KEVIN MACLEOD IN THE CREDITS ITS THE VERY LAST ONE
- PLEASE TELL ME WE GOT THE SAME CONTROLS AS BEFORE AND NOT WHATEVER THE FUCK THE DEFAULT CONTROLS WERE IN 3
- FUCK YEAH BITCH ITS LITERALLY THE SAME HOW TO PLAY IMG FILE FROM POSTAL 2
- Okay imma start playin now
- There's an option to start with apocalypse weekend, no thank you i went through that plenty enough thank you very much
Monday
- Okay so basically heres the intro summed up, dude n champ left paradise, champ jumps out the car cause he saw a cat, dude's headwound starts acting up, he crashes into a stop sign, has the 11yr coma nightmare that is postal 3, someone finds him and wakes him up, gives him a map and sets him on his way
- Oh also when he mentions the head wound Thats when the "Mysterious Voice Changing" starts happening
- Also he grew a beard when he was passed out, i think he managed to shave it all off before the game starts though
- His fuckin laugh when he says "hope they didnt make a hot dog out of champ"
- LOOK AT THE LIL PICTURE HES GOT OF HIM N CHAMP AAA
- Btw the back says "Champ '03"
- Okay i need like maximum focus on this
- PLEASE TELL ME ALL THOSE SCREENSHOTS I GOT OF THE INTRO DONT BREAK LIKE MY SCREENSHOTS OF 3
- Oh yeah i finished postal 2 so i get the optiom of Enhanced Game
- DUDE CALLS YOU SISSY WHEN YOU OPEN THE CHEATS MENU
- Im in love
- Oh the cacti dont hurt anymore (probably because they're dead)
- And i have No weapons beyond my bare hands and matches, nice
- SPEAKING OF WEAPONS WHAT A CONVENIENTLY PLACED SHOVEL LITERALLY RIGHT AS I WAS TRYING TO PRESS F
- "Must be a franchise" or the original location got destroyed so they moved to a different part of town
- Theres a fucker in a brown trench coat dont tell me thats who i think it is
- Nevermind that was just some guy i got nervous for a sec
- Im still a lil scared to go into certain areas in case people will start attackin me for no reason
- OH YEAH WE CAN JUMP N CROUCH, There isnt a sprint though BUT WE CAN DO PARKOUR AND FIT IN SMALL SPACES Unlike a certain someone whos game was bad and wont let me finish the last fucking boss fight to finish the fucking game
- THAT WOULDVE BE A HELPFUL TIP IN THE FUCKING BASE GAME
- Why is there 3 dead cats, a taser, and a medkit in a storage unit
- Im havin to relearn that theres a jump and a crouch after not having that in 3
- FUCK YEAH SCRAWNY RAT MAN BEIN ABLE TO CRAWL INTO SMALL SPACES i missed bein able to fit into small spaces while playin 3
- Got ammo, but no guns
- Oooh scissors
- Arent we still somehow back in paradise? Oh wait no is this edensin? Im so fuckin confused bro
- I don't wanna go into the storage units that look like makeshift houses cause i learned from the hotel in the base game people don't like it when you walk into their rooms and steal their shit, same with the houses
- Its tempting though, see a couple stacks of cash and a health pipe
- A perfectly unattended health pipe
- Dude i missed having health items cause in 3 you gotta fuckin rely on health regen BUT P3 HAS WHOLE ASS "I need to find some of that sweet health shit" LINES
- No i haven't even done anything yet ive just been lookin around the trainyard for loot
- Ooh gasoline THAT ACTUALLY WORKS AND ISN'T A PAIN IN THE ASS TO USE AND ONLY LASTS FOR LIKE 4 SECONDS BEFORE SOME NPCS JUST RUN THROUGH IT UNSCATHED
- Oh i just noticed Dudes still as broke as ever
- "Need more height?" FUCK OFF GAME IM TRYIN TO GRAB THIS HEALTH PIPE BUT DUDE DOESNT JUMP THAT HIGH
- Oh jump on the wall behind it, right
- THEY DID THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE BTW
- Ooh a vest
- AND A SHOTGUN
- AND NO ONE STILL FLUSHES IN THIS DAMN TOWN
- So it appears the church is entirely blocked off by rubble, even though its lower opacity on the map Which tells me it'll be open at some point cause thats how shit worked in postal 2
- No we're still in Paradise i know that fuckin area
- NO THIS IS STILL PARADISE I DONT CARE HOW MUCH YOU STAY VAGUE ABOUT WHERE WE ARE ITS LITERALLY STILL PARADISE
- Oh wait i need to be askin people about champ oops
- Is there loot on the vents that i need to parkour for like in the base game? Perhaps in the exact same fuckin spot on the vents next to the parking garage
- No, good, i never got that piece of loot in the base game anyway
- IS THE HEALTH PIPES FOR SALE GUY STILL NEXT TO THAT AC UNIT
- No he's not
- I never figured out this fenced off area under the parking garage
- Oh hey the chair next to the dumpsters was moved
- Fine ill fuckin ask around before goin into the mall
- Oh is champ the reason that "rabid dog attacks" was a headline in the newspaper i found?
- I FORGOT THAT ALT FIRE IS "Fuck you" OOPS
- Oh the dude in the brown trenchcoat is "Lawman" fun
- Oooh flash grenades, those weren't in the base game
- I wanna make a horrible joke that people are actually scared of dude in the pic and not the dog but i know they're scared of the dog cause "rabid dog attacks", and if i remember correctly i think he got mutated or some shit in this game and we gotta get an antidote to get him back
- YA DONT SAY, A PATTERN HUH?
- Oh hey its the gas station with the lady hiding a pile of cash under the desk
- Also the path to the compound is blocked off
- Oh people took over the gas station and its no longer a gas station, of course
- Oooh molotov
- Im findin a lot of ammo, no guns though
- Oh the fountains drained, right
- I'm very nervous to ask the biker lookin dudes imma save just in case somethin goes awry
- Nope that was an old west type sheriff, also called "Lawman"
- Nothin happened he just screamed and ran off
- Okay yeah so once you get to Dude's "im sensing a pattern" line, he starts sayin stuff like "before you start screaming in terror" before each question
- "Hey fuckhead" NICE START TO A QUESTION DUDE
- I love this game so much
- And it crashed as i entered a loading zone, nice, classic postal 2
- Okay if we're thinkin realistically, id rather eat beforehand knowing some fucked shit is gonna go down in what was the mall (which is what i tried to do before it crashed)
- Oh yeah you can bribe cops with money (unless you're broke as shit)
- "And yet another reaction of pure terror. Better keep checking around" WHATS THAT GONNA TELL YOU, THAT SOMETHIN FUCKIN HORRIBLE HAPPENED? YOU COULD ALREADY TELL THAT FROM THE PATTERN OF PEOPLE SCREAMING AND RUNNING AWAY CAUSE YOU SHOWED EM A PIC OF THE "RABID DOG" THAT WAS IN THE NEWSPAPER
- Hold on i wanna hear Dude call someone a fuckhead again
- There it is
- DUDE NO ONE HAS GIVEN YOU AN ANSWER NO ONE IS GONNA GIVE YOU AN ANSWER IF YOU ASK THESE PEOPLE
- Savin 3 times cause that worked when the base game crashed
- So the compound no longer exists to these people, figured as much after the base game
- Theres woman rednecks now?
- Oh the cockasian moved locations
- I see they added variety to the npc voices
- I hate how wordy he is
- DUDE CAN STILL BREAK GLASS BY RUNNING INTO IT I WASNT EXPECTING THAT Got a shotgun though
- When restarting, i didnt break the glass, i just grabbed the gun through the glass
- P3 SHUT THE FUCK UP I OUGHTA SLAP YOU
- WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK ARE THOSE
- Oh well at least the place will be free to loot
- FUVKED UP MUTATED DOGS ARE ATTACKING THE COCKASIAN WORKERS AND DUDE'S JUST STANDING THERE LIKE THAT ONE ROBERT PATTINSON PIC
- Oh wait i see, everyone here is scared of dogs now cause of those fuckin things
- Imma try to sneak past to loot the place cause there's always somethin in the backs of stores n shit
- I clipped through the counter while crouching on said counter cause there was an invisible wall on said counter
- I just noticed the posters makin dog jokes, yeah no wonder the mutated rabid dog things are eatin your asses first
- Sneaking past and staying calm seems to work, yeah this is just like at the pound during apocalypse weekend
- THOSE ARE FULL ON SKINNED DOG CARCASSES IN THE BACK
- Looking at the dogs alive, who look like they got some kinda skin condition causing hair loss among other things, imagine the fuckin diseases you're gettin from eating that
- Also cant loot the back back cause there's butchers there and i dont remember them ever being friendly when they see youve invaded their areas
- Yeah so this room is kinda horrifying
- GOT SCARED A DOG WAS GONNA START EATIN ME CAUSE IT HEARD GUNSHOTS BUT NO THANK FUCK
- THE DOGS ARE HELPING THANK FUCK
- ONE STARTED CHASING ME INTO BUTCHER TERRITORY BUT ITS FINE CAUSE THEY ALL STARTED CHASING BUT GOT DISTRACTED BY THE BUTCHERS AND ARE KILLING THEM
- Dammit they killed the dogs
- That was stressful
- There wasnt a subtitle for that guy ALSO TJAYS WHAT THAT WISEMAN THING WAS ON THE SIGN
- Awh wait the rws office isnt the rws office? That sucks
- Please tell me there isnt any terrorists here anymore that shit was annoying
- Oh my fuck is the wiseman Dave?
- They cleaned up the back of the office though, that's nice
- THE BALI THATS STUCK IN THE WOOD PALLET PILE BEHIND THE OFFICE IS STILL FUCKIN HERE
- Theres still loot in the back room, sad to see all the rws shit gone though
- AND THE PLANTS THEY HAD WITHIN THE DESK CIRCLE FUCKIN DIED
- THEY GOT THEIR NAME PLATES STILL UP
- WAIT IS THE WISE MAN VINCE?? IS MIKE STILL HERE Wait no Mike got infected with mad cow and somehow turned into a hellbeast, he wouldn't be in the office
- NO VINCES PLAQUES N LIL BOOK THING ARE STILL HERE
- Some of the arcade games are still here, busted, but still here
- MIKES OFFICE ISNT THE BATHROOM ANYMORE NOOO HIS NAME PLATE THING IS GONE
- ALL THE PICTURES HE HAD ON THE WALL ARE GONE DAMMIT
- Of course the "wise man" is in the meeting room
- Not a fan of how dark the meeting room is that feels ominous as shit
- Oh they rearranged the offices next to the mall, that's fuckin weird and off-putting
- Cause one of ems someones house thats why, i was wondering where the windows went
- JUST NOTICED THEY GOT RID OF THE FRONT DESK AT THE OLD RWS OFFICE BUILDING THAT'S WEIRD
- ITS ASIAN KROTCHY
- Oh, El Perro Loco, the crazy dog, of course
- MIKE J VOICES LARRY
- Oh he got irradiated
- THAT'S MAD COW MIKE J
- Yeah that darkness inside your mind, thank you p3 for reminding him
- Stil can't get over him flirting with rhe cashier at the cockasian
- I WENT UNDER THE BRIDGE AND GOT A WANTED METER WHAT THE FUCK MAN
- Well the mall really went to shit
- Oh the animal control place is on the other side
- Oh hey the arenas still here
- HEY ITS THAT PICK OF MIKE J THAT I SAW IN PHRAUDS OFFICE
- Appreciation huh?
- So we cant go back through the door we came in cause that elephant shat a fuckin hill
- Ooh a shark
- FUCK YEAH GOT A HUNTIN RIFLE
- ITS VINCE N THE RWS GUYS
- "Wait you have a church?" And it just fades to black as Vince walks off
Tuesday
- So i take it the old rws building got raided or something and Vince was like, yknow what, imma make that church my new office or somethin
- OH THATS WHAT WISE WANG WHATEVER HIS NAME WAS MEANT BY DOING TASKS FOR THE FACTIONS
- The save says "church of the vd clan"
- Its the next day and i dont remember what im supposed to be doing but imma look around the church first
- WATER HAS MOVING TEXTURES EVEN WHEN YOU PAUSE THE GAME
- Rws got some tech upgrades i see, they got big ass tablets now
- Okay so while i was expecting someone to be jerkin off in the confessional, there wasnt But it looks to be turned into the designated jack off area
- Wait hold on who the fuck wrote on the map OH WAIT THATS VINCES TASKS FOR US Vince im sorry but i dont like your handwriting, even since the base game, i cant be talkin cause it looks similar to mine i just realized
- Okay so i take it they had some issues with the cemetery, cause i heard knocking and zombie sounds as i walked past the gated and boarded off doors
- I thought i saw a molotov on the stairs, it was the asset gap in the stairs and i saw the skybox
- They filled up a loot area from the base game up with bricks
- WHERES ALL THE FUCKIN LOOT MAN
- THEY EVEN GOT RID OF THE PILED UP STORAGE UNITS THAT HAD LOOT ON AND BEHIND WHAT THE FUCK
- Oh boy tunnels, and not the train tunnels, like underground mineshaft lookin tunnels, wjy the fuck we got mineshaft lookin tunnels yall did a lot in 7 years
- WHY IS THIS AREA RAININ HOW FAR IS IT FROM THE OTHER AREA
- I dont like this area it looks like the military base
- This area is called the wipe house, funny
- Hey i just noticed the flatbed train cars say "maximum capacity - 36 polys" what the fuck is a poly and how much does dude weigh in polys
- OH THANK FUCK VINCE GAVE US MONEY BEFORE SENDING US OFF I WAS WORRIED DUDE WOULD BE TOO BROKE TO DO THAT SHIT AND WE'D HAVE TO GO LOOT SOME HOUSES OR SOME SHIT
- CASH 4 CATS VENDOR
- P3 said something about asswipes to the cashier i hate him so much
- I got stuck tryin to parkour on some roof
- Okay so 1 cat = $10, got it
- THIS STUPID PRICE SHIT ITS LIKE THAT ONE SOUTH PARK EPISODE WHERE STAN WAS PUTTING IN MONEY TO SOME BANK ACCOUNT AND THE GUY AT THE DESK KEPT SAYIN "Aaaaannd its gone" TO STAN AND EVERYONE STAN BROUGHT WITH HIM
- Just realized the arcade sound that goes off when you talk to him is the price going up
- And when you first get to this area, the price isnt the same, it was like 55 last time, its 115 this time
- And rhe junkyard is closed off, do we gotta wait til Friday for that?
- Im gonna try grabbin as many cats as i can in case that guy says i need more money than what he said last time
- Bitch this game is havin me doin fuckin math
- Im so dumb i didnt realize the counter thing at the cashier says the price but it's fine i had $20 more than the stupid "price hike" thing
- Parkoured on them vents next to the parking garage cause i found a pile of money and a bass finder plug in, so you're not supposed to jump on the vents behind the cube things, you're supposed to jump On said cube things
- I think I i just fucked myself by going into the cccp side of the mall
- Maybe not, ill jsut go the other way
- What if i wanna Keep my weapons
- Fine have my shit
- I DONT HAVE A ROCKET LAUNCHER Fuck you
- Isnt that Phraud?
- Fuck you im redoin all this shit im getting my shit back
- THERE WE GO THANK YOU P3
- I dont care what yeeland thinks hes fuckin dead
- THE MOTHERBOARDS ARE POSTAL REDUX LESSGOOOO!!!!
- It seems the cockasian fixed their shit
- Nope "closed for remodeling"
- Ha, "PU Games"
- Btw the kevin Macleod song linked in the credits plays in that building
- I love his sudden pain noises i fell and he went "Ah! >B("
- The vent that connects to the back of the bank doesn't open anymore
- Oh so the bank is now the pu game building
- I see the asylum is still the asylum OH AND A LADY THERE DROPPED A DISEASED COW HEAD :D she gassed the area though
- The doors are locked though
- Can i leave the computers that got the postal site pulled up?
- Mmm toilet pizza
- I think i died blowing up the super computer but it counted NO WAIT I GOT 8 HEALTH LEFT
- And the boss went down with 1 shotgun shell
- FUCK YEAH BITCH THE POSTAL COMPUTERS ARE STILL UP
- Theres a guy next to the asylum that's thrown so many fucking scissors at this bugged out lawman that theres like 2 piles of scissors stuck in the ground
- NO THE POSTAL BABES GOT GOT
- ALSO THE XOMBIES BROKE THROUGH THE CEMETERY DOORS AND VINCE ALSO GOT GOT CAUSE HIS DUMB ASS WAS THINKIN ABOUT GETTIN HEAD DAMMIT VINCE WHY NOW
- OF COURSE THEY STILL SNEEZE
- WHATS THE POINT OF A ZOMBIE ESCAPE ROUTE IF THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING FROM SAID ZOMBIE ESCAPE ROUTE
- Oh thats why that was there
- I miss my machete
- Question why is the cemetery the escape route
- Ohhh Mike owns the junkyard THATS WHAT I WAS THINKIN WHEN I PLAYED THE BASE GAME Also hi Mad Cow Mike J sorry you got infected 11yrs ago
Wednesday
- YES THERE IS
- "Just met" huh?
- Well no duh mad cow eats at your brain with the prions n shit
- At least he still has good morals
- Kay well thanks Mike you seem nice despite being a hellbeast for 11yrs, and after i beat your ass in a boss fight also 11yrs ago
- So the zombies aint gonna try to kill me anymore?
- ZAXK WARD
- THERE'S STILL GRENADES IN THIS PIPE THING
- Continuing this later its 4am
- Awh the postal iii case in the bush is gone, the oil water's still there there
- Yeah i had figured the zombies wouldnt do anything with the "charity" thing
- Oh look a petition
- ZOMBIE DOG
- Random package of raw meat
- I dont remember there being a farm but okay
- FORGOT THE GAMER ASSHATS HATE ME
- Oh huntin rifle how i missed you
- IF YOU DONT WANT YOUR MONEY STOLEN DONT LEAVE A RANDOM STACK OF BILLS ON THE GROUND
- FLAMETHROWER!!!! FINALLY!!!
- Hey Dude, remember you're getting like 3000 some fuckin unit for a bovine hellbeast that demands money for his wife that he just met today
- FUXK YEHA ASLYUM LOOTIN TIME Unfortunately the people here are More violent than in the last game so oh boy
- HA ONE OF THE PATIENTS THREW A DISEASED COW HEAD AND EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING CHASING ME FUCKIN DIED
- Its like the elephants in apocalypse weekend, they're killing each other while tryin to kill me
- Hey dumbass you're the one that threw a flash grenade thats your fault
- WHY DOES A PSYCH PATIENT HAVE A FUCKIN ROCKET LAUNCHER?? I WASNT EXPECTING ROCKET LAUNCHERS???
- The game couldn't handle the patient with a rocket launcher
- And it crashed again
- I JUST REALIZED THE ACHIEVEMENT FOR ACTUALLY BUYING THE TOILET PAPER, ONLY 3.7% PEOPLE HAVE DONE THAT HOLY SHIT Is there an achievement for getting through the yeeland mission without killing him?
- I see the pu game dipshits are cooking someone over a spit
- Never realized how dude sized this fireplace is, he can literally stand in it
- Some dude pulled his dick out as an attack but i killed him before i could see what he was gonna do
- CAN WE STOP WITH THE SCISSORS
- WHERES THE ROCKET LAUNCHER COMING FROM
- Found it
- Forgot sayin fuck you to cops warrants arrest
- Didn't know it could snow in fallout zone arizona
- Wait one of the houses that had either wrythe or a fall to break on loop dont play the song anymore
- Wait did snow pile up Inside the library?
- Oohhhh ice mechanics
- DAMMIT THE LUCKY GANESH IS CLOSED
- I just fuckin Know dude hates that its fuckin snowing an icing
- Is that a fuckin south park reference I see?
- Oh come on, the fuckin abandoned building got annihilated, that was my hideout spot for when i had cops on my ass
- There we go i was wonderin when p3 would start tellin me to go to Zack ward
- Its funny that he even remembers Zack ward opening up a place in Paradise
- Fuck you imma keep askin around til p3 says "hint"
- NOT UNTIL YOU SAY HINT
- Forgot i needed 3 ac parts
- Oh wait yeah, the trainyard people dont have money
- I was gonna see of the rws guys at the church had any money but i just remembered they got annihilated by zombies, wait imma see if they wanna give any up
- Forgot the zombies arent attacking me
- Did the rws guys like fully get got? Cause the doors to the church interior arent blocked off anymore
- Didnt realize the zombies were still able to articulate insults
- Yknow what i think they're still mad at me for killing em in the base game, i dont blame them however they were attacking me then
- I think whatever rws workers that lived moved to the actual like town area, cause i saw one in the trainyard
- THERE'S THE LINE Imma see if hes got any more
- Oh wait we gotta go to Zack ward anyway
- Also the chicken shit estate houses are still mostly up, they just built a farm building in place of one of the houses
- Oh well at least we aint gotta pay an assload for the milk think Mad Cow Mike J wants
- Wait whys he watchin from far away
- Oh the cows are diseased
- Oh those cows specifically are diseased, right
- Wait whyd the normal cows all die suddenly?
- "Dont be afraid of milkin the undead ones" he says
- THEM BEIN DEAD ISNT THE ISSUE, ITS THE UNDEAD ONES CHARGIN AT ME
- NOT TO MENTION, IM TRYIN TO FIND ONES I HAVENT GOTTEN YET
- Why does milking em kill em
- Okay well thats done, time to take Zacks money
- I see Zack turned the police station into his own lil area
- Looting what i can without getting shot at, and also lookin for snowmen so i can get an achievement
- Hold on wait imma restart cause i missed some screenshots
- Okay im back i got all the ac parts
- I love when p2 laughs evilly you can hear him go >B)
- Just realized Dude is slower on snow than on normal ground
- ZACK WARD TIME
- Love how there's only ginger dudes in here
- Completely forgot how much the police station was a maze
- Zacks so silly
- Zachary im sorry, but this man barely watches tv, hes not gonna know Any of what you're talkin about
- Okay well guess hes mad enough to start a boss battle
- WHY HE DUAL WIELDING?
- YOU GET AN ACHIEVEMENT FOR KILLING ZACK WARD
- A singular bag, all that, just for a single small bag, when theres literal bricks locked behind those bars
- Oh btw apparently if you're super low on health and you piss, you basically piss blood
- Ah yes, the gingers hate me now, as if Dude Also isnt a ginger
- "Demon cow guy" as if you werent a coworker of his for like a day and friends with his boss
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAD COW MIKE JS MAD THAT SHE FUCKIN WALKED OUT CAUSE SHE GOT PISSED AT DUDE FOR SHOWING UP AND NOW WE GOTTA FUCKIN FIGHT HER??
- Well at least her boss fight isnt completely awful, just very painful, ALSO WHO GAVE HER A KATANA AND WHY DOES SHE FLING US UP IN THE AIR LIKE SOME MORTAL COMBAT FUCKIN MOVE
- AND HES MAD AT ME NOW CAUSE HIS LIFE SAVING MILK MADE HER FAT AGAIN NONE OF THAT IS ANY OF MY FAULT
- Oh boy here we go, gary colemans army, surprisingly not multiple hallucinatory gary colemans
- COLEMINE!! THE FUCKIN COLEMINE
- COLEMEN
Thursday
- I love 3 in this game hes so sassy
- Oh so the robotics factory Does have a purpose then
- THATS WHY WE GO TO THAT KARAOKE THING?
- WAIT YOU CAN PAUSE THE GAME MID CUTSCENE AND IT ACTUALLY PAUSES THE CUTSCENE, NOT SKIP THE ENTIRE FUCKIN CUTSCENE UNLIKE A CERTAIN GAME RELEASED IN 2011 AND DISOWNED DUE TO NEGATIVE FEEDBACK
- "Been a while since ive given your vocal cords a good workout" im sure it has been
- FINALLY GOT MY HANDS ON A MACHETE ITS BEEN SO LONG
- Dude the mine is loaded with good shit
- HOW DID I NOT KNOW THATS WHERE THE MINE IS WAS IT CLOSED OFF???
- Oh yeah i forgot the hazmat guys are here
- Why is the hell hole located where our trailer originally was? I feel like thats some metaphor or somethin
- Bro what the fuck is the npc dialogue
- FINALLY THIS FUCKIN BUILDING BETWEEN THE MALL AND THE TRAINYARD HAS A PURPOSE, IT'S BEEN FUCKIN EMPTY SINCE THE BASE GAME AND IT WAS LOCKED TIL THIS POINT
- Ha wait my number is F-U
- Wait I got like $1000 from the mine
- I agree P3, cause my "number" isnt even a number
- P3 thats a good plan but i dont wanna get shot cause the voice in my head is impatient as all hell, also i want you to talk more
- Also i feel bad cause this lady at the counter doesn't get paid enough to have her head blown open
- HEY P3 YOU TALKING IS MORE INTERESTING, BUT I GOTTA WAIT IN ORDER FOR YOU TO TALK MORE, CAUSE ITS FUNNY I wanna hear him sign n say something like, "just go through the fuckin door" i wanna hear him get mad at p2
- Oh great hes repeating lines dammit
- Oh wait dammit i waited til my number was called, apparently its 30, didn't fuckin show me though
- Wait I fucked it, i waited for the number to be called but apparently youre supposed to back to the desk and not straight through the door
- My suspected adhd is havin a ball with this /sarc (might as well be p3)
- I wish the silly goober that is p3 got mad at p2 that'd be funny as fuck
- Luckily enough i happen to have $1165 on hand
- DAMMIT OUR SHIT GOT STOLEN THAT WAS $1000
- OH WAIT THAT'S WHERE THAT FUCKIN WAREHOUSE LEADS TO, THE FUCKIN CHEMICAL THING, That warehouse btw is like instant money, cause they just keep a good like $60 on the fuckin shelves, and no ones ever in here (unless i think if you walk through the door at the front)
- That second door is still locked though
- OH DAMMIT THEY TOOK ALL MY SHIT, MY HEALTHPIPES MY FOOD MY CATNIP MY BASSFINDERS FUCK DUDE
- THEY TOOK MY WEAPONS TOO, I JUST GOT THAT MACHETE
- Still got my kevlar vest though, and my matches that never seem to leave my inventory no matter what
- OH COME ON I HATE WHEN MILITARY ASSHATS POST UP ON THE BILLBOARDS, MY RIFLE AMMOS UP THERE MAN
- Wait i found another machete
- FINALLY FOUND A SCYTHE ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAD ONE
- My game crashed in the middle of me looting the last building at the asylum
- I fuckin hate these step ladders
- Okay got some of my shit back gonna see if i can get the rest back from the hideout
- Found some more health stuff at the convenience store that looks to be ransacked since the last game
- Oh hey its the area with what was the parcel center
- Bro the big house with the secret room got Fucked up
- FOUND THE GIMP SUIT IN ONE OF THE HOUSES
- Is the meatworld still here? I think they turned the parcel center into the bandit hideout, and the parade grounds are now the "encampment"
- OH FUCK OFF THEY FLIPPED THE CAR IN FRONT OF THAT ONE HOUSE NOW I CANT PARKOUR ON SHIT
- Wait yes i can
- Yeah the meat world is still here, and theres a person behind the counter unlike the base game
- Found a secret area next to one of the houses
- Okay gettin my shit back time
- Okay found some of my stuff, bro they even stole my newspaper what the fuck
- Yes p3 because i totally "carelessly misplaced" it all
- i feel like if i go behind the counter or in the back storage room, shits gonna start
- Maybe not, maybe it starts when i go in the back hallways
- I GOT JUMPSCARED BY A SUMBITCH WITH A GUN FUCK YOU
- Okay literally like the parcel center fight in the base game
- Except its a bossfight with a guy named 2 ears who just seems like a rip off corkscrew, except not russian and just the bandit leader i guess
- MY DUKE NUKEM ROCKET LAUNCHER WHERE DID I GET THAT FROM
- Also yeah so theres a weapon called Shotgun? When you pick it up, but its actually called beta shotgun and its basically a double barrel
- Also that was surprisingly easy
- Is it that fuckin easy? I feel like there should be more to that, sequences like this are never that easy
- Okay then it's that easy
- Didnt realize til now that the survivalists (hazmat guys) sound like pyro from tf2
- Oh wait this is where our trailer was can we go see the area or is it like, a hellpit or somethin?
- Hey dude why you gagging on the pizza
- Okay yeah so its a hellpit, but its sealed off with this giant fuckin tunnel door
- Oh hey the secret sewers is still here
- Is the nuclear shit makin him gag on the pizza whats goin on man? The fast food bags are fine its just the pizza
- Oh fuck off the sewers overrun with bandits instead of the taliban
- Ha it's still called the obligatory sewer complex
- NO THEY KILLED ONE OF THE COLEMEN
- Love that the sewers got flooded with nasty shit-oil water
- Does this still lead to the tora bora?
- No wait thats a whole ass pipe theres no more electrical box you gotta bust open
- There was a bisected zombie postal babe in the room with the garage door that opens when you just the electrical box, there weirdly enough isnt as many bandits here as there was taliban
- I don't like how quiet it is
- Ooh wait theres still rifle ammo up there
- Okay so while theres no electrical box, the pipe that led to that one doorway just collapsed, probably part of why the obligatory sewer complex is flooded, but there is all this parkour shit down at the bottom of the area
- I dont see a way to get up to that doorway though
- Well thats still a thing i guess, but i got some karaoke to wreck
- I see the fire in the hole got bigger, theres no more laundromat
- Bro nothing happened to the original cockasian, they just cleared out, was the meat gettin to radioactive bein near the hell hole?
- The bathroom in the original cockasian is still fuckin gross
- Okay well guess im goin into the fire in the hole
- Whys there a British man at the counter that serves like no purpose whatsoever
- Oh hey the sex room still has that chair and a tub of mayo
- Hey so im gonna hate whats about to happen next
- Curse my anxiety i do not wanna touch that fuckin dance floor cause i know what's gonna fuckin happen
- I think theres some watersports shit goin on in the bathroom but again, anxiety, so im only goin off of context clues
- Correction no there was not, just a guy trick shot pissing
- Oh my fuck theres a ui, i thought the cutscene was just gonna start playing once i got on the stage or in front of the mic but no you gotta pic a song for Dude to butcher
- Im torn between britney n nelly, fuck it im goin with nelly
- Eugh i fuckin hate this so much
- DUDE THAT WAS JUST ONE FUCKIN LINE BRO
- So you gotta play all of the lines, doesnt make it any better
- I hate him i wanna punt him i wanna grab him by the hair and slam his face into a brick wall so his fuckin nose breaks so he cant snort anything anymore till he gets it fixed
- THERE WAS A POSTAL BABE HERE DUDE
- I wreaked havoc and ran
- Okay stilts time, and since i got all my shit back i feel confident in fighting if i have to cause i know i will, i explored the area on like Wednesday
- Exactly what i was thinkin p3
- Also the vendacures here
- OH THE PISSTRAP THINGS
- THEY THROW PISS BALLS
- The vendacure gave me a health pipe, thanks man
- This section has portal vibes with the crawlin around in the factory area i like it
- Well son you're in luck cause all you need for these bastards is a shotgun or sledgehammer
- So there's some fucked up sand worm or dune or tremors worm in this place
- Oh so we gotta get outta this maze of a mineshaft while avoiding the drill thats drivin itself around the place, and also not die to colemen, got it
- Oh boy its 10am cause im not gonna sleep anyway lemme figure out this stupid colemine exit thing
- DAMMIT I SAVED AT A BAD SPOT
- Okay dark ass hallways means drills comin, got it
- Okay no more hallway got it, it went entirely fuckin void color once i and the drill got out
- IM OUT OF THIS SHIT FINALLY
- Yes, al queda known for being peaceful and loving of all races and whatever else he said
- HE JUST RAGDOLLS WHEN THE AL QUEDA GUYS STOP TALKIN
- THey also slightly changed the song to be more dramatic i think
- THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION WHERES XAVIER
- FUCK YEAH MULTIPLE GOT OUTTA THE COPS HOLD
- Todd can we not simp right now yall are literally bein chased down by cops and military
- AYY KURT HELPIN KITTY N JEAN OUT
- I have somethin to say, fuck everyone involved in this anti mutant bullshit
- RAY HELPIN THE OTHER NEW KIDS DOWN TO THE SEWERS
- WAIT DO WE GET TO SEE THE MORLOCKS AT SOME POINT??
- Mystique you're the reason for all of this, Magnus also but you blew up the mansion
- WHO DID THE MILITARY TAKE
- OH YEAH YEAH YEAH SHIELD IS FINE, LOGAN USED TO WORK FOR SHIELD
- Thank you Fury
- Dude, Shield literally has an actual Norse God workin for them, you think they care about mutants?
- Mystique please for the love of fuck, stop it, im tired, youve been nothing but awful this whole show since s1e1, xtas mystique was barely there, you're in like every other episode
- Todd again, please can we not simp right now
- DAWG YOU LITERALLY MISSED A WHOLE ASS PLANE BEIN TELEKINETICALLY TAKEN OUTTA THE BASE
- Todd plese shut it, shes focusing
- Oh actually thats smart nice thinkin Todd
- Yeah so they got basically everything, and by everything i mean the writers reused the last episode as "news footage"
- DAMMIT PIETRO WHY ARE YOU WORKING WITH YOUR ASSHOLE DAD
- PLEASE TELL ME WE SEE THE MORLOCKS YES WE FUCKIN DO AAAA WHY AM I ACTUALLY TEARING UP
- Is that Caliban? No wait Caliban would talk in third person
- Thats not Caliban nevermind
- WE GET TO SEE THE MORLOCKS EVENTUALLY FUCK YEAH!!
- Yknow, if we had Morph here, things would be nicer, but we dont, so alls we got is Mystique, making a mess of everything
- At least shes being helpful, and not a nuisance like she had been before
- WHY WOUKD A MAN LOCKED IN A WAREHOUSE KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH THE ROBOT AS FAR AS HE KNOWS HE GOT LED ON BY HIS ARCH NEMESIS N GOT GOT BY SOME WEIRD NOT QUITE MILITARY SHIT
- Bud please dont get in the face of a man with fangs and an adamantium skeleton
- The ice things gonna melt n leave water n itll trip the sensor shit
- Nevermind Bobby bein a lil joker spinnin the wire cutters triggered the alarm
- Dammit Bobby
- Okay yknow what, i take it back, triggering the alarm lets Evan n Logan work on getttin loose
- Fred would be the Only one to bust out of the slime crystal shit
- OH HES RIPPIN APART EVERYTHING FUCK YEAH FRED
- HI HANK
- I love that they let animalistic characters Be animalistic, i dont remember xtas Hank ever growling, but im so glad he does in evo AND HES GOT ACTUAL PRIMATE HAND-FEET, LIKE HE SHOULD (thats a design that always pisses me off, when people give hank like human feet as opposed to ape feet, the man climbs n hangs upside down, he's literally a blue humanoid gorilla)
- Logan i kinda agree, its a lot to explain while yall are literally in an on-high-alert military base
- RAVEN PLEASE STOP FUCKIN RUNNING YOU CHOSE THIS, WORK LIKE A FUCKIN TEAM PLEASE
- Does Magnus have charles
- Oh yeah Mystique is conning the xmen into working for her, but also working together thing makes sense, but shes being awful about it
- Okay little weird of Todd, but at leats he knows what everythings called
- I HATE TO SAY IT BUT HARD RELATE DUDE, WEIRD BUT HARD RELATE
- Ough i love and hate Todd so much, hes a lil weirdo i love him so much
S3E2 - The Stuff of Heroes
- Rogue can we not be self conscious, you dont even look bad, also yeah what Logan said
- PROTECTIVE DAD FIGURE LOGAN
- Fuckin love that scene, diy smoke bomb n distractions n shit
- OH TRYIN TO BE CIVIL LIKE IN XTAS
- Oh Cain was train hoppin after he got out of prison, again, cause Mystique
- Are we really gonna argue with Cain? Look at him, he was put in a vat in a max security prison
- OH WAIT HES NOT A MUTANT THOUGH HIS POWERS ARE MAGICAL
- Oh he didnt get angry at gettin called mutant
- Ohh a cave, please be careful of creatures, and/or people already claiming the cave
- DUDE THATS SMART
- BOBBY THIS IS GENIUS MAKIN A STAND AND PROJECTOR SCREEN FOR THE MINI TV THING
- LOGAN NOW AINT THE TIME TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THE PAINT JOB YALL ARE LITERALLY ON THE RUN AND BEIN CHASED
- YOU'RE TOO DAMN WORRIED ABOUT THE PAIN JOB YOU MISSED ROGUE SAYIN TO DUCK CAUSE THERE WAS A FUCKIN TREE, NOW LOOK AT YA
- LOGAN YALL AINT REALLY GOT A CHOICE N WHOS DRIVIN YALL ARE LITERALLY BEIN CHASED DOWN
- Oh hey, they made it to the cave
- ALSO WHY ARE WE ACCUSING THE MUTANTS OF MAKING A MUTANT ATTACKING ROBOT, WHERES TRASK IN ALL OF THIS, HES RESPONSIBLE
- Yeah they were literally tailin yall as yall drove into the cave
- Logan, hes got a point, you might as well join Vic with that mindset
- OH YEAH KITTY CAN DISRUPT TECHNOLOGY SHIT
- JEAN MAKIN IT SO THE CHOPPERS CAN'T FLY
- If yall are talkin bout Juggernaut, he aint a mutant, his powers come from a crystal thing
- Hank i love you so much
- JUGGERNAUT AIN'T A MUTANT THATS SOME CRYTSAL BULLSHIT
- Saying Juggernaut is a mutant is like sayin Loki Laufeyson is a mutant
- OH YEAH, KEEPIN THE MILITARY GUYS SAFE TO SHOW THEY'RE THE GOOD GUYS, and also they're fighting Juggernaut csuse no one else can stop him, except the only guy who can Actually stop him is MIA so
- DUDE WAIT THATS A SCENE IN THE XTRILOGY, KITTY TRAPPING CAIN IN A FLOOR/WALL
- KURT TRYIN TO UNLATCH CAINS HELMET
- THERE GOES CAIN'S HELMET
- "THEN TAKE IT, RAW" CONTEXT
- OH SHIT WAIT SCOTT NO THATS TOO MUCH YOU'RE GONNA BLOW EVERYTHING UP, nevermind he was gettin tired, also Cain stopped him
- THANK YOU ROGUE, Takin advantage of Cain no longer having his precious helmet
- AYY BOBBY FROZE CAIN AFTER ROGUE FLUNG HIM INTO THE WATER
- CAIN KNOWS WHERE CHALRES IS?? MYSTIQUE TRADED OUT CAIN FOR CHARLES
- Hi Logan you're back, and not sulking
- Did Kelly get promoted to president or is that a different guy
- FUCK YEAH TRASK GOT LOCKED UP FUCK YOU TRASK
- YES RHABK YOU MR PRESIDENT I DONT KNOW THE NAME OF AND IM PRETTY SURE ISNT KELLY CAUSE HES THE PRINCIPAL
- FUCK YOU MAGNUS YOUR PLAN FAILED
- WAIT DID THEY FIX REMY'S EYES?? ALSO HI REMY HI PIOTR Where's Pyro i dont see Pyro
- Oh look Piotr has actual pants
S3E3 - Mainstream
- OH WAIT I FORGOT SOME OF THE KIDS WENT TO HIDE OUT IN THE SEWERS WITH THE MORLOCKS
- Wait no that was Berzerker n Magma n the others, Kitty, Jean, Scott, Bobby n whoever else was there helped stop Juggernaut
- Sorry im rewatchin the end of the last episode cause when the fuck did we get a mostly metal base, WAIT NO THE NEW KIDS WERE AT THE MANSION TOO AT THE END OF THE EPSIODE, HUH???
- Well anyway, new base, uhh, the morlocks i guess are bout to show up, Kittys gettin a snack
- OH THIS SCENE
- KURT GET OFF THE DAMN TABLE, WE DONT NEED FUZZ ON THE FUCKIN TABLE, LOOSE HAIR GETS IN EVERYTHING, I KNOW FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE (i have thick hair in a mullet, and shed like a dog)
- KURT YOU CANT BE SAYIN SHIT ABOUT KITTY DRINKIN FROM THE MILK CARTON WHEN YER RUNNING ON THE FUCKIN DINING TABLE
- I will say, pizza n milk is a weird combo
- THATS NOT THE BROTHERHOOD OR THE MORLOCKS, THATS TOMFOOLERY
- AND WE JUST LEAVE THE EXACT CARTON OF MILK WE GOT MAD ABOUT ON THE TABLE, POURIN OUT?? WHAT THE HELL MAN
- Oh we're livin under a construction site, got it
- KITTY THIS IS WHY YOU DONT SPLIT UP FROM THE REST OF THE GROUP
- Wait Kurts got it
- I knew it was douchebaggery, ALSO THE GRAFFITI?? WHYS LOGAN SO TRIANGULAR??
- Is the construction site the mansion bein rebuilt and everything got moved to the basement? Im still so lost on this
- IM STLL MAD ABOUT JUBILEES DESIGN, WHERES THE PINK?? WHERES THE SHADES N THE COAT N THE GLOVES N THE JORTS?? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
- I'm sorry but did Logan say "Rahne" as "rain"? Am i hearin that right? How long has it been since the new kids joined and he with his enhanced hearing says her name wrong?
- Also very sad that the kids have to go back to their parents
- Logan can you not blame shit on yourself for once
- And now Logans goin on a bike ride for a bit, as usual (OH DO WE GET TO SEE VIC?? THATS USUALLY WHAT THAT MEANS)
- Yeah I think we relocated to the basement while everythings being rebuilt
- THE FUCKIN FUR ON SCOTT'S SHIRT
- Jamie, son i love you, but why must you immediately start multiplying once you leave the room
- KURT GET OFF THE TABLE THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS EPSIODE AND IM ONLY 5MIN IN
- Scott please don't be pessimistic right now it's the Last thing yall need
- As someone who hated highschool and was constantly worried of bein talked about, i Loathe this scene
- OH NOW YOU REALIZE DUNCANS A DICK
- Kelly you're gettin mad at kids, literal teenagers, pleasd stop
- HEY WOAH WAIT A SEC PIOTR KNOWS HOW TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE?? HELLO?? I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA SEE VIC AGAIN?? Yknow what, Vics part of the acolytes (hes still Magnus's pet) and i like Piotr n Remy, so this is fine
- BUT PIOTR RIDING A BIKE? ALSO THAT ARMOR THING AT LOGAN WAS SMOOTH
- Logan no, thats a 16yro, stop it, you're getting mad and tailing a 16yro
- WELL PIOTR JUST TIPPED OVER A SEMI TO STOP LOGAN OKAY THEN NEVERMIND
- Lance is fuckin s e e t h i n g
- Todd im gonna throw you out a window, why are we talking about Kitty
- I dont like that her name is Kitty cause I've started callin Vic 'kitty' YKNOW CAUSE IT MAKES MORE SENSE FOR VIC CAUSE HES A BIG CAT MAN
- Todd i love you but you are so puntable right now
- GREAT NOW FREDS IN ON IT
- Why is Kelly here
- I AGREE WITH FRED
- I do like Todds voice
- Oh yeah Amanda know
- Kurt you're yappin, yer not fine
- OH WAIT I JUST NOTICED KURT GOT AN OUTFIT CHANGE
- OH YEAH HIS FRIENDS ARE TOTALLY FINE, SCOTT'S TOTALLY NOT GETTIN KNOCKED AROUND BY DUNCAN FORCING HIM TO USE HIS POWERS TO GET HIM BACK OUT OF SCHOOL, TOTALLY FINE /Sarc
- FUCK YEAH KITTY N ROGUE INTERVENING
- Oh wait hold it Everyone got an outfit change
- Kurt stop being weird
- HE STILL DOES THE FINGER THING I LOVE THAT
- Kelly i dont trust you i never will you fucking suck
- HI LOGAN N PIOTR
- Oh metal.mp3 btw
- OH FUCK IVE NEVER HEARD LOGAN SO SNARLY ALSO THE SNORT!!
- WHY DO THE PRINCIPALS OF THIS SHOW KEEP PLOTTING SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK MAN
- Well Piotr, what a way to leave a message, baiting him in traffic, leading him to fight at some barn, THROWING A TRACTOR AT HIM, THE BARNS ON FIRE BTW
- Piotrs voice <3
- Piotr why the fuck did you punch the tire, what the fuck happened
- Dude ive never seen a 16yro in this show look so tired
- Oh no this is where we find out (spoilers) that his family was kidnapped by Magnus and hes blackmailing Piotr to work for him, AND LOGAN CAN SENSE THAT THIS 16YRO IS GOIN THROUGH SOME SHIT CAUSE WHY IS A 16YRO LOOKIN TIRED AS SHIT
- Logan why the fuck do you think he's working for Magnus, do you really think Magnus would let his army leave him so easily?
- Oh great we're falsely accusing now
- OH KELLYS FALSELY ACCUSING MUTANTS OF CHEATING GAMES NOW
- KELLY YOU PERSONALLY INVITED THE ACTUAL MENACES BACK, YOU FUCKIN DIMWIT
- Oh man if this was Xtas, hed be so quick to change his mind after the xmen stop mystique from attempting to assassinate him
- Hey wait that's a good idea, put this guy in a near death situation and have the xmen save him
- Yknow how the xmen and mutants are an allegory for minorities, yeah thats pretty well evoked here
- GREAT NOW KURT FEELS LIKE HE CANT EVEN HANG OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS CAUSE OF ALL THIS SHIT, NOT EVEN AT THE MEETING THING
- What happens now is gonna end in disaster when Xavier's tryin to be civil about this shit But Nooo, Kelly n Duncan gotta be a dicks about everything
- Hey heres an idea, how about we just, say no n keep walkin inside where Jean Charles n Kurt are waiting btw
- Whole auditorium full of people btw, and these guys are outside the main doors fighting cause Kelly sent em
- Kurt for the love of fuck can you go up with her n help, you're literally the only other one in that room, everyone's caught up outside with fighting
- Metal crunch.mp3 again
- OH DUDE WAIT I JUST REALIZED EVERYONES GONNA WALK OUTSIDE N FIND OUT THEY'RE CARS GOT FUCKIN DEMOLISHED CAUSE THE BROTHERHOOD N DUNCAN WANTED TO FIGHT
- DIDNT THINK THE AUDITORIUM WOULD START CRUMBLING, BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY?!
- KELLY THIS IS YOUR FAULT
- OH WAIT LETS USE THIS AS A WAY TO FIX KELLY
- Oh damn they got the power lines too
- Kelly you saw a car flyin at you and you stood in place
- THANK YOU CHARLES
- Metal.mp3
- OH NOW WE STOP FIGHTING
- Hi Logan you're back
- IT WAS KELLYS FAULT BTW
- Nice words there Charles, im still pissed about the whole Kelly telling Duncan n the brotherhood to go back n fight Scott to ruin the board of education thing
S3E4 - The Stuff of Villains
- GAMBIT EPISODE
- Oh btw that recap reminds me, KELLYS THE REASON THE PEOPLE AT THE BOARD OF EDUCATION MEETING ALMOST DIED, YKNOW CAUSE HE PERSONALLY INVITED THE BROTHERHOOD BACK TO BAYVILLE, AND THEN HE ORDERS THEM AND TO MESS WITH THE XMEN KIDS TO MAKE SAID XMEN LOOK BAD AT THE MEETING BUT HIS PLAN BACKFIRED
- Why the fuck are these guys talkin to Wanda, shes like 16 dawg
- Why are we doin bridge troll shit when shes clearly ignoring you
- AND NOW THEY'RE FOLLOWING HER CAUSE THATS TOTALLY SMART
- FUCK 'IM UP WANDA
- Oh damn we goin Christine up in here
- Okay so i dont have that big an interest in Wanda, but shes super fuckin cool in this show, i love this
- OH WAIT CALIBAN, THAT WAS THE GUY WE FIRST SAW IN THE SEWERS
- Are we forgetting hes got the anti telepath helmet? Cause he does, ive literally only seen him without it like once, and that was on Asteroid M
- Pietro should be easier to find, radiates arrogants like a nuclear power plant
- Kurts got a point about the real friends thing
- EVANS GOT A POINT ABOUT THE IMAGE INDUCER, but i get it though, worrying for his own safety n such
- Hey Kurt, Amanda still likes you
- Why the hell does Roberto sound like hes from NY
- Oh Hank, thats fuckin smart, havin the kids help clear out the rubble n shit
- Didnt know Magma did the transformation thing that Da Costa does
- KITTY YOU DROPPED YOUR TOOTHBRUSH IN HANKS DIGESTIVE SYSTEM?? THROW THAT THE FUCK AWAY DUDE
- The "camera" focusing on that sign on the mansion gates gives me weird vibes
- TODD MOCKING PIETRO, AND PIETROS SUIT BEIN BAGGY AS HELL ON TODD
- Todd n Fred are fuckin tired
- Hey, Mystique stopped givin a fuck about the house, her room was already blown the fuck up by Tabitha, Mystiques barely even here except to give like missions or some shit, plus she got locked down in that military base thing
- LANCE NO THATLL FUCK UP THE HOUSE TOO NOT JUST HIS ROOM
- TODD CLINGIN ONTO THE CEILIN LIGHT
- Oh wait i just realized, new house, cause they had to leave the boarding house (they needed to anyway it was literally rotting)
- Ohhh wait this is probably like, Mystiques House, where she goes instead of taking care of the kids she coerced into joining the brotherhood, aka the team that got completely abandoned by Magnus
- Im sorry but how does an earthquake throw Pietro's shit and also Fred out the room
- TODD COVERING HIS EYES WHEN HE REALIZES HE BUSTED OPEN HER DOOR
- Hes a simp but hes polite
- Lance did you really think Todd had anything on under that
- Oh hey look, Pietro
- I love that she tells everyone to leave the diner
- KELLY THE BOARD OF EDUCATION THING IS YOUR OWN FAULT, AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO CALL THE BROTHERHOOD THUGS
- Dont tell me Duncan's still safe
- EXACTLY THANK YOU LANCE
- KELLY YOU SUCK
- DA GAMBIT, AND THEY FIXED HIS EYES
- Even being threatened, hes still smirkin
- I love him, hes got a fuckass bowlcut but i love him
- I do wish his voice was slightly deeper n raspy like in Xtas
- You just told Gambit to leave and now you wanna follow him? Really
- REMY WHY ARE YOU SO ADANANT ABOUT THIS
- Yes thank you please talk this out Todd's still charged
- Nevermind hes fine now
- Okay wait, not Mystiques House, a new boarding house that isnt completely in shambles like the last one (yet)
- Oh man, if only we just leave the brotherhood alone, cause yknow, we told Gambit to piss off
- Todd, Magneto has abandoned yall for the Acolytes, also Lance has a bone to pick with Pietro
- First if all, wheres Remy, secondly, why the fuck are Rogue n Kitty so adamant about stopping the brotherhood
- AND PIETRO SPED OFF LEAVIN KITTY LITERALLY HANGING ON A CLIFF SIDE
- Hi Wanda
- HI REMY BACK AT THS BROTHERHOOD HOUSE
- Why the fuck is Todd writing like Hank
- OH NOW SUDDENLY TODD HAS HIS SOCKS AND SHOES BACK ON
- PIETRO YOU FUCKIN NITWIT YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE BACK YOU FUCKIN LEFT AND YOU ONLY CAME BACK CAUSE YOUR DAD TOLD YOU TO
- And Remy leaves like he was never there
- Oh man if only we had just left the remy and brotherhood alone
S3E5 - Blind Alley
- Reading the episode desc, oh boy more reasons to hate Mystique
- Also the "Scott getting trapped in a desert" reminds me of an xtas episode where that literally happened, except Scotts powers got cancelled out by somethin
- ALL THAT AND SHE GETS AWAY ANYWAY
- Oh yeah she can literally turn into a bird(s) and fly away
- Oh hey its that scene where Scott n Logan are fixin a satellite, and they're both shirtless for whatever reason, BOTH STILL WEARIN JEANS MIND YOU
- LOGAN GETTIN ON HIS TOES TO REACH THE SATELLITE
- BRO HOW STRONG IS DA COSTA?
- GUTHRIE YOU UNDID ALL THAT WORK RAY HAD DONE, ALL THAT BRICK N MORTAR GONE TO WASTE
- Scott you're askin Logan of all people for emotional help, and he might as well have an adamantium brain with how much he refuses to acknowledge emotions, let alone his own
S: *lookin at Jean* Logan, have you ever, yknow, Really cared for someone?
L: Pliers.
- HE ANSWERED YES TO SCOTT'S QUESTION AND JUST "Most beautiful bike I ever sawhh.. I was so Speechless Someone else bought her."
- SCOTT HE TOLD YOU ABOUT A BIKE AND YOU'RE STILL ASKIN QUESTIONS ABOUT A PERSON, TO LOGAN NO LESS, LOGAN CANT BE BOTHERED TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONS, HE REFUSES TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONS
- He fuckin knows who Scott's talkin about too and he just pulls the "you tell her or I Will"
- BIRD MYSTIQUE BEING A NUISANCE
- ORORO KNOWS TOO
- So are Ororo n Logan gonna get together, cause they might as well already be
- KURT YOU HAVE AWFUL TIMING DUDE
- Alex's strong as hell surfer accent
- THAT'S NOT ALEX
- RAVEN YOU GOT BEEF WITH A TEENAGER
- OH GREAT NOT ONLY IS HE STRANDED IN THE MEXICO DESERT, HES BLIND AND STRANDED IN THE MEXICO DESERT
- Scott if you wanna try lookin around, look up
- OH WAIT I JUST REALIZED HES GOT A BUILT IN FLARE SYSTEM
- Why the fuck are a pack of wolves attacking Scott
- OH WAIT JEAN N SCOTT LITERALLY GOT A PSYCHIC LINK THING NOW
- CHARLES STOP BEIN INSUFFERABLE ABOUT YOUR POWERS, YOU WITNESSED THE POWER SURGE EVENTS IN S2
- THEY GOT A PSYCHIC LINK AND CHARLES IS SAYIN "I cant sense anything, so you obviously can't either"
- AYY SCOTTY GETTIN HELP
- Nevermind he got sent down a canyon AND THE WOLVES SAW A FUCKIN RAMP TOO
- Oh wait FUCK YEAH OIL RIG WORKERS HELPIN SCOTTY
- Mystique please for the love of fuck, stop being a bitter bitch
- IT WAS ALL A FUCKIN SET UP CAUSE MYSTIQUE IS FUCKIN BITTER ABOUT GETTIN LOCKED UP EVEN AFTER SHE BASICALLY BLACKMAILED THE XMEN INTO HELPING HER, She had a good point BUT YOU DONT NEED TO BLACKMAIL THEM WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
- MYSTIQUE YOU CUNT
- Every episode i get more of a reason to hate her more than i already did in Xtas
- WELL SO MUCH FOR JEAN FINDING THEIR LOCATION CAUSE NOS THEYRE IN THE CATACOMBS
- GET FUCKED MYSTIQUE NOW YOU CANT SEE EITHER
- LIAR
- THATS NOT JEAN
- Thank you Jean
- AYY THEY'RE FINALLY A COUPLE NOW AFTER 2 DAMN SEASONS
S3E6 - X-Treme Measures
- Been awhile since i watched xevo so imma try to remember everything
- SEWERS, THE MORLOCKS
- Wait is that a morlock?
- YES IT IS, AND SO ARE THOSE PEOPLE, HI CALLISTO BEEN A WHILE
- Why are we destroying a factory
- Oohh that was smart havin stealth backup
- Question, did they make leech look like leech but avalanche? Cause i have no idea who the reptile lookin person is, i dont know the other 2 either, just Callisto
- "Whats the damage this time" makes me think this isnt the first time the morlocks raided a factory
- Oh yeah the morlocks are tormenting this guy, probably for a good reason
- POWERADE?? LIKE THE DRINK??
- Oh you want them caught? Good luck with that
- What dumb teenager shit is goin on here, nevermind i don't think any of those characters are xmen or brotherhood
- Scott why you look nervous
- SCOTT WJY ARE YOU HIDING FROM KITTY
- WHY ARE WE HIDING FROM KITTY
- Hi Evan
- Is this no longer Bayville? Wait it doesn't look like Bayville
- WHY ARE JEAN N SCOTT HIDING FROM KITTY
- This a different Bayville highschool? It doesnt look like the original one
- NO REALLY WHY ARE WE HIDING FROM KITTY
- Scott, im pretty sure she knows what youre car looks like
- HI KURT
- Oh thats why we're hiding from kitty, so she won't ask scott to drive his car
- Kitty, Scott ain't lettin you drive his car, that's like askin to drive Logans motorcycle
- Whys this kid following Evan
- Oh thats why, that's kinda scummy
- That kid with rhe black hair looks like Cain
- Hey at least Evan aint pokin em full of holes, just knockin em around
- And now theres a crowd, great thanks
- Is this assignment letting Kitty drive Scotts car?
- HI LOGAN
- Of fuckin course hes sayin he'll do it if its dangerous
- I KNEW IT WAS LETTIN KITTY DRIVE, Also this is the second time Logans teachin someone to drive
- Oh already hes not gonna like this
- Oh he absolutely does not like this
- KITTY DO NOT, IF YOU WRECK THE XVAN ITS GONNA BE THE 2ND TIME ITS FUVKIN TRASHED
- BRO IVE NEVER HEARD LOGAN SO PANICKED HIS VOICE WENT UP AN OCTAVE
- Oh yeah she can do that
- If logan didnt have a healing factor, hed fuckin have a heart attack cause of this child
- Evan your spines are still out
- HI ORORO
- Oh tjats why they were still out
- OH MUTATION UPGRADE SHIT
- KITTY WHAT DID I SAY
- Oh wait thats not even wrecked, shits just noclipped into the xvan
- SHE RAN INTO A STREET SIGN AND A STOP SIGN
- Is Logan okay, or is he doin that thing that scared cats do when they latch on to somethin and their hackles are raised to high hell? Or is he impaled by the road signs
- KITTY YOU DO NOT HAVE THE HANG OF THIS WHO LET YOU HAVE A LEARNERS PERMIT
- Oh Logan's fine, just angry and probably panicked, but mostly angry
- KITTY THE CALL IS COMING FROM IN THE HOUSE, LEARN SELF AWARENESS
- Kitty you're not gettin a lesson no.2 after this
- Logan only snarled, thats not a good sign
- Wait he spoke, but he said scott n jean were right
- Oh he definitely is not happy
- JEAN WHAT THE FUCK, SHE JUST TELEKINETICALLY DROPPED SCOTT INTO THE ROOM WITH KITTY AFTER KITTY ASKED WHERES SCOTT N JEAN
- Evan calm down with the milk, thats shared between all yall dumbasses and ororo
- EY IS BERZERKER
- Oh, power8, thats what the guy said at the beginnin-
- REMYY WHAT FUCK ARE YOU DOIN LURKIN UNDER THE BLEACHERS
- Wait not remy, Callisto, the hat made me think it was Remys bowlcut
- Okay, not to jinx it, but whats gonna happen here
- THAT'S NOT TABITHA BUT THAT LOOKS LIKE TABITHA
- CALLISTO TELLIN EVAN THE POWER8 SHIT IS POISON Ohhhhh thats why the morlocks keep raiding the factories
- Oh fuck dude, she was right, it is poison, all the skaters but Evan arent doin okay
- EVAN NO CALLISTO TOLD YOU NOT TO
- THANK YOU ORORO
- STAGE WHERE HANK USED TO GO TO CALM DOWN EVAN REMEMBERS AAAA
- Oh hey its the morlocks, oh they kidnapped him
- Scott was grippin onto the dashboard for dear life holy fuck
- HI HANK
- Yeah its basically mutant poison
- Hey ororo, your nephew got grabbed by the morlocks, hes probably safe, they're probably gonna try to help him recover
- HI CALIBAN
- Oh yeah, the mutation upgrade shit Not respondin well to all this
- Oh Callisto noticed the plates and jumped to conclusions and decided to forcefully recruite Evan to the morlocks
- Ohhh fuck, they got power8 bullshit in the runoff, o fuck man
- Wasnt Berzerker with them previously back when the mansion was blown up?
- No really though, who's the turtle man thats dressed like Avalanche, hair included
- Oh thats fuckin smart dude
- IS THEIR NAME SCALEFACE OR IS THAT RAY MAKIN UP NAMES, I REALLY WANNA KNOW CAUSE THEY LOOK COOL AS HELL
- YEAH SURE LETS DEPLOY TAZERS IN A FULL METAL FACTORY
- HI SCOTTY
- HI JEAN
- HI ORORO
- So i love the Morlocks, they look cool as fuck and they're smart as fuck
- Hey buddy, they dont trust you
- Kurt crawlin on the sewer walls
- Okay well, smart on havin Kitty drive Xaviers limo, let him know what it's fuckin like
- Oh i fuckin hate this dude
S3E7 - The Toad, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
- Hey why are we in Europe? And following this person hidin around while wearin a friar robe or whatever its called
- MASTERMIND??
- Oh yewh im pretty sure thats mastermind
- Yeah i had a feeling this was italy
- WHY IS MASTERMIND RUNNIN FROM MAGNUS AND WHY IS MAGNUS BEIN OMINOUS AS HELL ABOUT TRACKING DOWN MASTERMIND
- Hi magnus, you look like an ultrakill character (no his design hasnt changed, i only just figured out what he looks like with the helmet shadowing his face)
- Mastermind, he literally has the anti telepathy helmet, did you really think that was gonna work?
- Quick question, why does mastermind have fangs
- Whys wanda in a taxi
- WHY DID THE BRIDGE CATCH FIRE?
- WHYS THE BRIDGE CATCHING FIRE LIKE FUCKED UP PYROTECHNICS- Wait, I think i know, and i think i just said it, The flames are movin around like a certain character i know can do with fire
- Yeah fire horses, i think i know whos doin this, but why?
- OH FIRE GOT ON THE GAS TRUCK OH BOY
- WANDA GO THE GAS TRUCKS ON FIRE
- Pyro laughing like a goofball
- Oh i love him hes so silly
- Wait hold on, ohhh wait i think only Kurts still goin to the original Bayville high while everyone else is goin somewhere different cause Kurt was insistent on hiding the fact hes a mutant
- HI TODD ITS BEEN A WHILE Oh great what's Tolansky planning
- Oh wait is this the episode where Kurt goes to Amanda's house but Todd ruins it?
- Wanda, did you really think that was gonna make Pyro stop?
- Oh he dropped a key
- WELL THERE GOES THE HAS TRUCK, AND THE ENTIRE BRIDGE
- Oh Wanda's been lookin for magnus so magnus sent pyro to tell wanda to stop
- WANDAS REACTION TO JEAN SAYIN PIETROS BACK WITH THE BROTHERHOOD OH FUCK HOWS THIS GONNA TURN OUT
- HI FRED Pietro can get curbstomped for all i care
- Todds gonna fall tryin to get pietro tv signal
- Hey Lance, throw the oil rag at 'im
- And there goes Todd
- THANK YOU LANCE
- Pietro, lance would be a better leader than you
- OH NOW HES PUSSYING OUT CAUSE HE SAW WANDA
- I forgot Todd was a simp for Wanda I DONT BLAME HIM FOR RATTIN OUT PIETRO THOUGH HE DESERVES THAT SHIT
- Todd no dont do that dont say that, know your value, she doesnt want you
- And he got thrown into the kitchen
- Todd no dont bother Kurt with that, is that really the whole fuckin reason he ruins Kurt's date thing with Amanda? Really?
- Kurt stop i actually wanna watch this episode not keep my head down in second hand embarrassment
- AMANDAS MOM HAS AN ACCENT
- Oh he is so self conscious oh boy
- Oh thats why
- He still does the finger thing i love that little feature so much
- Oh he is freaking the hell outta Amandas mom oh boy, today is the Worst day for the image inducer to start freakin out
- I cannot watch this I'm upset for kurt
- TODD FUCKING HELL
- "*Falls in the sink after jumping in from the window* EWWWHH I TOUCHED SOAP >_<"
- TODD WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHY YOU SPIT ON AMANDAS DAD
- NO TODD YOU'RE MAKIN A SCENE
- I cannot watch this this is stressin me out, can we go back to the x mansion?
- DAMMIT TODD HE TOOK THE IMAGE INDUCER ANYWAY ohhhh thats why hes fuckin up kurts day, just for the image inducer
- Hi wanda
- Todd still has his teeth, and is flirting like himself
- Yeah exactly, also Wanda is literally yknow, the scarlet witch, i feel like she'd know it was toad even if he didnt immediately give himself away
- And hes fallin again
- TODD PLEASE FUCKIN STOP RUINING THIS FOR YOURSELF, Gave himself away by doin his frog jumps
- Yeah so kurts night was ruined just for this shit, thanks Todd
- PYRO
- TODD FUCJ OFF WAIT IS THAT TODD OR AN ANTAGONIST TJAT ISNT PYRO??
- I fee like its todd yeah it was todd, dammit todd
- I garuntee you Kurts image inducer is gonna be ruined after all this
- Hey question, whats with magnus and orbs? His hideout here is an orb
- AND THE KNOCKOUT GAS DRONE IS AN ORB
- Why does evo magnus like orbs
- TODD CALLED KURT NIGHTCREEPER, ALSO HOPPIN IN SAYIN HEY LIKE HE TOTALLY DIDN'T JUST WRECK HIM MEETING AMANDAS PARENTS
- JEAN XAVIER HELP
- YES IT IS THE WRONG TIME TO ASK KURT FOR A FAVOR
- Magnus i dont like you here you're not helping with doin this
- HI PIOTR HI PYRO Wheres Remy HI REMY
- Ohhh he was recruiting Mastermind in the beginning of the episode, cause mastermind hadnt been an acolyte yet
- MAGNUS YOU DON'T UNINTENTIONALLY GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER BRAIN DAMAGE CAUSE YOU WANT TO REBUILD THE FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP BUT SHE DOESNT
- Oh my fuck hes havin Mastermind fuck with her memories so she doesnt remember havin a reaon to be mad at Magnus, Magnus i do not like you xtas magnus was better you're just vile
- "Hopefully your mind wont be too damaged by the process" FUCK OFF YOU FREAK
- OH LEFT HER AT A PSYCH WARD TO BE DRAGGED AWAY INTO A CELL? NOPE AT THE CARNIVAL RIDIN A CAROUSEL WITH PIETRO
- BEIN SLID SHITTY HOSPITAL FOOD FROM A SLOT IN A DOOR? NAH AT A PICNIC WITH MAGNUS
- SENTINEL ATTACK ON THE ROOF OF A BUILDING? WHAT? NO THAT WAS WATCHIN FIREWORKS WITH MAGNUS
- Todd normally i love you but you just fucked everything up here
- YEAH LETS TRICK KURT INTO THINKIN HE'LL GET HIS INDUCER BACK AFTER HELPIN WANDA BUT LITTLE DOES HE KNOW THE INDUCER IS FUCKIN BROKEN CAUSE HE KEPT FALLING AND GETTIN THROWN AROUND CAUSE HES A DUMBASS
- YES THANK YOU KURT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY
- Brother, you look relatively fine, you just reek, kurt has had him not lookin human be an issue his whole life, literally the backstory in xtas was that mystique dropped him down a waterfall cause he was too blue and not a shapeshifter
- Kurt please teach this moron a better german accent holy fuck
- REMY PYRO N PIOTR AAA
- PIOTR MOVIN SHIT AROUND IN A STORAGE ROOM
- They're hidin from piotr, he's gonna find em unless they pull some scooby do shit
- I love piotr so much
- Oh yeah kurt can teleport
- THANK YOU FOR INTERRUPTING MASTERMIND
- Why yes he in fact does have a better idea
- NO FUCK MASTERMIND FINISHED BRAINWASHING WANDA
- Todd no dont why are we kissing wanda when she Just woke up from bein brainwashed
- Kurt took back the image inducer mid todd kissing wanda
- Wait no Kurt didn't take the inducer back
- YES HE IS A SLIMY WORM, Or a slimy frog/toad if you will
- She smiled and said thank you, til she watched him eat a fly
- Yeah bud, you kinda are
- Oh shit Todd really ruined that night with kurt n amanda oh boy
- I mean yeah, he n todd did wreck the house, that is fair
- Yeah i wonder why she doesnt remember why she was mad at Magnus
- OH FUCK TODDS BOUTTA RUIN ALL THAT SHIT MASTERMIND DID THANK YOU YOU YAPPY FUCKIN FROG
- DAMMIT PIETRO
- I want the earth to swallow Pietro whole, can Avalanche make that happen?
S3E8 - Self Possessed
- Rogue n Scott playin racket ball
- HA GET FUCKED SCOTT ALSO WHY DID ROGUE DO PARKOUR
- Wait what are we talkin about
- Is this a flashback?
- Hi Destiny. Mystique *said with the most bitter disdain possible, like 100% cocoa bitter*.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROGUE HAS TO DO WITH SOME SORT OF PROPHECY AND WHAT DO YOH MEAN SHE MAY NOT LIVE??
- Oh Freds mutation makin a breif comback there
- Oh well the episode title makes sense now OH WAIT IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE ROGUE GRABS PIOTRS MUTATION?
- Hi Logan, OF COURSE LOGAN IMMEDIATELY KNOWS SOMETHINS UP
- Jean for a car
- LOGAN EYEBROW RAISE
- JEAN DONT LET KITTY DRIVE THANK YOU
- Oh rogue n scott were talking about a concert
- Hi kurt
- Hey why are we surprised Jean n Scott are goin out together?
- MYSTIQUE FUCK OFF WITH PRETENDING TO BE A FRIEND OF ROGUES GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE MAN ITS STARTIN TO GET WEIRD
- Im tired
- Im so very tired
- ROGUE NO YOU'RE GONNA FUCK UP MYSTIQUES PLAN ON SNEAKING INFO ON THE XMEN BY PRETENDING TO BE SOME KID WHOS YOU'RE FRIEND
- Wait wheres the nose stud that she had, i remember her having one where the fuck is it
- Again, I'm tired
- The singer looks like if Remy was from California
- TABITHA FINALLY ITS BEEN SO LONG
- How the fuck did they let a 12yro in a suit in? Whys he in a suit, Kitty you shoulda known he'd do all this if you asked him to go to the concert with you
- Yeah he didnt have any plans cause hes 12, whats he gonna fuckin do? Everyone else is like 14+
- AOWH ROBERTO GAVE MULTIPLE HIS SUIT AND HE WANTS A FULL REPORT LATER
- HEY THATS NOT JAMIES FAULT
- Jean you are on a fuckin date
- Yeah totally not a date, and so what if it is, they say as if they arent nervous as hell about it cause it really is a fuckin date cause they only recently got together even though there was a tension there before but both of em were doin other shit even though it bugged them and the other that they were doin other shit
- Wait do we only get that one Tabitha cameo? Or is she gonna be prevalent throughout this episode? Cause thatd be dumb if it was just a cameo
- Okay yes while i agree rogue can do better, i dont wanna agree with mystique, also rogue is clearly not havin a good time, can yall like leave n go get her a sprite or somethin?
- NO ITS NOT FINE YOU MORON YOU KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER DOESNT DO WELL IN CROWDS AND HAS BAD EXPERIENCES WITH IT, NO WJY WOULD YOU JUST BRUSH IT OFF N GO "Relax you're covered up enough" WHEN SHES CLEARLY ABOUT TO HAVE WHAT WOULD LOOK LIKE A PANIC ATTACK IF WE WERE UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES
- OKAY IM SKIPPIN I CANT WATCH THIS SECTION
- WAIT HOWD HER SLEEVE RIP OFF
- Oh someone fell and ripped it off, of course
- OKAY NOW CAN YOU GET HER OUTTA HERE, HER WHOLE FUCKIN ARM IS OUT CAUSE THE SLEEVE GOT TORN THE FUCK OFF
- SABRETOOTH AA Also hi Tabitha BUT SABRETOOTH
- OHHHHH, SHE GOT MYSTIQUES SHAPESHIFTER ABILITY BUT SABRETOOTH TOOK OVER SO SHE SHIFTED INTO SABRETOOTH, So that was not actually Sabretooth, just rogue shapeshifted into Sabretooth
- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO KEEPIN HER SHELTERED SO SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN, THIS IS LITERALLY MYSTIQUES FAULT BTW SHE SUGGESTED TAKIN ROGUE TO TJE CONCERT
- Well this is just makin me miss evo Sabretooth, cause i really wanna say big kitty man but thats not actually the big kitty man
- ALSO NOTSABRETOOTH HAIR IN HIS FACE LOOKS LIKE NOTTEMDUDE FROM HATRED
- Scott that's not actually Sabretooth it's rogue shapeshifted as Sabretooth cause mystique is awful at parenting
- JAMIE BE CAREFUL
- JAMIE CLONES KEEPIN MAIN JAMIE COVERED FROM DANGER
- Oh fuck i really wish that was Sabretooth
- OKAY SHES JUGGERNAUT NOW OH BOY
- Oh yeah he does do the rhino method doesn't he, he did that in the lego marvel superheroes xmen chapter
- Nah yallre fine, its only rogue n mystique, the Sabretooth and juggernaut are both rogue cause rogue accidentally touched mystique cause mystique is awful at parenting
- Well so much for this prophecy shit, you couldnta just kidnapped her like anyone else woulda done? You coulda fuckin hired someone to kidnap her for you
- Well at least jamie had fun
- And shes magneto now, i cant lie magnus's design is so fuckin sick, i just wish he wasnt a major asshole
- And now we got pietro
- OKAY TURNING INTO ARCADE WORKED?
- HEY LOGAN PLEASE FUCKIN HELP ROGUE YOU'RE LIKE THE ONLY TRUSTWORTHY ONE AT THIS POINT, NO OME ELSE KNOWS WHATS GOIN ON
- MYSTIQUE FUCK OFF YOU BITCH
- EXACTLY
- EXACTLY ROGUE I AGREE
- HEY RAVEN GUESS WHAT, WHEN SHE TOUCHES SOMEONE SHE GETS THEIR MEMORIES, GUESS HOW MANY PEOPLES MEMORIES SHES GOT, YOU THINK SHE KNOWS ANYTHING ANYMORE?
- OH YEAH LIKE HAVING HER ADMIT THAT SHES YOUR ADOPTED DAUGHTER IS GONNA HELP ANYTHING
- She turned into the big kitty man and Immediately snarled out Wolverine, funnily enough heres logan on his way cause i guess the others told him they saw "Sabretooth"
- Lemme guess, logan didnt know where "Sabretooth" was cause shapeshifting doesnt change scent, so "Sabretooth" managed to catch Logan off guard?
- Okay so thats kinda the answer but to be fair, Vic also would jump on logan if he was in the middle of patroling an area as a sneak attack
- LOGAN ITS SOMETHIN WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR SWORN ENEMYS BEHAVIOR, "Sabretooth" yelled FIGHT ME and swung the cut up light pole at Logan and he just went, "Now i Know yer not Sabretooth"
- Oh great Scotts here
- Oh they're all here, also Scott blasted rogue Sabretooth into a brick wall despite logan yellin no
- Well no shes obviously not thinkin straight, she shapeshifted as Sabretooth and yelled at logan to fight her
- THANKS MYSTIQUE YOU RUINED THE CONCEPT OF FRIENDS FOR HER
- Yeah Scott that's basically whays happenin
- I fuckin love the sound design in this show
- Oh man this is like fighting wanda
- Yeha let the man with adamantium bones and a healing factor stop her, hed probably do better than yall at calming her down also, unless she uses magnetos powers n annihilates him
- EYY THEY USED THE FACT THAT HES HEAVY AS SHIT, THEY JUST IMMEDIATELY FUCKIN FELL AND CRUSHED A CAR
- Wait when did she get multiple's powers?
- And yeah there we go theres the magnetism what'd i say
- METAL CRUNCH.MP3
- Shes makin him spin
- Logan's such a good parent, helpin his kits through tough times
- CHARLES?? CHARLES WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT
- Mystique this is entirely your fault btw dont act like it isnt
- LOGANS BEEN SITTIN NEXT TO ROGUE IN THE INFIRMARY ALL NIGHT
- AYE SHES UP
- MYSTIQUE FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF YOU'RE AWFUL
- Oh no dont tell me its who I think it is i dont like that
S3E9 - Under Lock and Key
- Oh its whats his fuckin name, mesmero, oh he is tryin to unlock the lazarus temple if we're about to deal with who i think we're about to deal with
- DA GAMBIT ITS BEEN SO FUCKIN LONG LOOK AT HIM ACROBATIC LIL FUCKER
- Originally saw this clip of him breaking the window on Pinterest AND HERE IT FUCKIN IS
- OH WAIT HES BREAKIN INTO WARRENS HOUSE
- Also love that warrens wings move around like animal ears when he hears somethin while asleep
- Also this is the second time ive seen warren get somethin of his stolen in a cartoon
- AND GAMBITS GONE AS QUICK AS HE GOT IN Btw love his boots
- Bud why are you working with mesmero also why did warren have one of the keys, is this foreshadowing to warren getting turned into archangel? (If he even does in this show?)
- Oh look it's the magnet man that shouldnt be a parent
- GAMBIT WAS MIND CONTROLLED THATS WHY Wait howd the fuck he get a hold of remy in the first place?
- Btw completely forgot remy was an acolyte here
- Hey magnus are we just gonna leave remy there? I know you can fly n shit but he cant
- Oh no wait he's following
- Oh yeah warren got knocked out
- Ironic that the next scene opened with a seagull flying over the mansion
- Drake dont get cocky over a fuckin game of baseball
- I cant tell if Scotts fidgeting or if hes signaling to jean
- Hank just fully ignoring Bobby
- Oh yeah hes signaling
- WHATD I FUCKIN SAY ABOYT THE SEAGULL WHATD I FUCKIN SAY, IRONIC, NOW WARRENS FUCKIN HERE i love bein able to spot cinematic rules n tropes n shit
- While we're on the topic of evo magnus bein a major asshole and sucking entirely, i dont like that he doesnt at least look somewhat old, like he just looks like a 30-35yro (or a super stressed 23yro) with white hair and super obnoxiously chisled features, meanwhile Mastermind actually looks old (i know its cause of the fuckin superhuman shit he got into with the captain America super soldier thing idgaf make that old man actually look like an old man)
- Also why the short hair, wheres the long hair he has in almost literally everything else (excluding the movies)
- No ya fuckin dumbass they're wondering what xavier n warren are talking about
- AND HE FULLY SNEAKS INTO THE ROOM AS IF XAVIER ISNT TELEPATHIC
- Bobby i love you but you are so fucking stupid
- Thanks Hank
- Bobby you are like 15, you werent even here in the first season
- ITS MESMERO OF COURSE HED FUCKIN DISAPPEAR FUCKIN IMBECILES
- Magnus's voice doesnt match his face ive just realized
- Also Magnus n Mastermind are goin back to europe Just to chase after this fuckin shit they forced themselves into cause Magnus is a greedy fuckin power hungry bitch here and i hate him
- Oh yeah rogues in the infirmary after the last episode
- WHY ARE YOU GIVING THE SICK PERSON KITTY'S COOKING
- BEST PARENTS LOGAN N ORORO
- Kurt stop pushin she's in this room because of mystique ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE YOUR FUCKED UP APPETITE DUDE WHAT DO YOU MEAN KITTY MAKING A ANCHOVY JALAPENO PIZZA??
- Yeah i wonder why the museum looks quiet, maybe because it's probably past midnight and also Magnus can just move metal shit with his mind, there wouldnt be a need to blow up the damn place
- Bobby you fuckin moron
- Or well he can do that, bit more destructive than i was thinking but whatever
- HI VICTOR ITS BEEN A WHILE
- Pyros stupid smug ass smile
- OF COURSE REMY WOULD FINISH THE FUCKIN GAME FOR HIM
- Piotr pretending to be a statue til the guard looks at him <33
- Pyro thats a fire hazard we don't need the whole damn building burning down, if Magnus wanted the place destroyed hed do it himself or have Vic n Piotr do it
- Oh he's fuckin maniacal <3
- OH YEAH CAUSE LOCKING YOURSELF IN A STORAGE CLOSETS GONNA KEEP YOU SAFE FROM A DUDE WITH A FLAMETHROWER WHO CAN GENERATE A FUCKIN FIREHORSE AMONG OTHER SHIT REAL FUCKIN SMART THERE
- Bobby shut up
- Still love most of the designs for this show, yknow kurt bein digitigrade, HANK ACTUALLY HAVING APE ANATOMY AND BUILD
- HANK DOES THE CURL THING WITH HIS FINGERS SINCE HE WALKS USING HIS HANDS LIKE A PRIMATE AAAAA
- Also yes hank, he has No fuckin idea cause he decided to join despite bein told no cause i guess whatever we're doing sounded cool
- Vic got fuckin slammed into colossus, and its funny cause colossus didnt even do anything to help, he just fuckin stood there as he got hit with an optic blast i love him
- Oh no, mesmeros bein chased by a fuckin elevator
- AND HANK MAKES ANIMAL SOUNDS <333
- He got got by the elevator and it crumbled in on itself so Mesmero cant get out
- Oh great the spider keybturbed into an actual spider MAGNUS STOP BEING A POWER HUBGRY BITCH NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE ABOUT YOU
- Dont yoy fucking stare there and pose while staring down your ex fuck off
- Oh nooo, the key ran away and he couldn't get it back and it hurt his feelings so he wants it fuckin dead
- PIOTR NOT EVEN RUNNING, JUST WALKING CASUALLY WHILE REMY N VIC ARE RUNNIN
- Oh wait now hes running
- DAMMIT THE SPIDER TOOK OUT PIOTR
- Vics using part of a tree trunk to hit the spider in the face
- Pyro stop its gonna beat your ass too, i garuntee you the fire did nothin
- IT DID NOTHING CAUSE IT WENT UNDERGROUND
- Why are we chasin after the giant see through spider that defeated magnus, the acolytes, and jean
- REMY TAKIN THE SMART APPROACH UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE TRYIN TO BEAT IT INTO SUBMISSION
- THANK YOU FOR NOT BEIN DONE COMPLETELY CAUSE I WAS ABOUT TO SAY PLEASE WAKE UP JUST CAUSE MAGNUS SAID "Just long enough"
- Please bite him
- Dammit he got a hold of it, fuck
- Oh it was a guardian, and magnus killed it, so now the door is definitely about to open THANKS MAGNUS FOR YOUR FUCKIN STUPIDITY YOUR FUCKIN NEED TO BE IN CONTROL OF SHIT EXCEPT YOURS IS WORSE THAN CABLES
S3E10 - Cruise Control
- Oh hey its Tabitha
- Also why are we lookin at a cruise ship
- Oh cause the xmen are here, next question Why are we on a cruise ship
- Ororo shes she sick TABITHA SHES SEA SICK yknow what at least Tabitha's takin her someowhere to get her help
- Again why are we on a cruise ship
- I wouldn't call "floating out in the open ocean" peaceful, especially in this fuckin universe
- Personal time huh?
- TABITHA I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BE HELPFUL THIS IS NOT HELPFUL
- "Name this movie" makes the fuckin iceberg from the titanic RIGHT IN THE SHIPS LINE OF PATH CAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING DUMB
- YEAH FUCKIN UNDO IT DIPSHIT BEFORE YOU CRASH THE BOAT THAT AT LEAST HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE ARE ON
- WHATD I SAY WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY
- Rogue's lucky she didnt go, cause Bobby managed to single handedly (with Tabitha's braincells cause i doubt he has any) put the Entire fucking boat of people in danger
- Bobby you are Literally iceman, you can make bridges n shit outta ice, Jeans telepathy also works
- THANK YOU SCOTT
- Jean he doesnt have common sense
- When Isnt Scott stressrd
- AMARA SHOULD'VE GONE TO HER ROOM AGES AGO
- I was thinkin its part of her mutation, yknow lava n water dont really combine well
- THANK YOU FOR REMINDING HER BUT I DOUBT SHE'LL REMEMBER
- NEVER SAY "What could happen" THATS THE QUICKEST WAY TO FUCKIN JINX YOURSELF
- Ororo you shoulda told everyone else to be low profile, cause Multiple's hogging the food
- "Scotts on a warpath" *deletes his clones and therefore drops the plates* BY THE WAY BOBBY, DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE WHOLE SHIT THAT WENT DOWN WITH THE BROTHERHOOD ATTACKING THE SCHOOL AMONG EVERYTHING ELSE?? ID BE STRESSED TOO
- NOT TO MENTION YOU ALMOST GOT YOURSELF AND THE WHOLE SHIP HURT CAUSE YOU WERE GOOFIN OFF
- Kitty, Kurt please fuck off, stop staring at em
- The irony of kitty and kurt mocking jean n Scott for dating, the complete irony, as if Kurt totally wasnt concerned about kitty not liking him in the first season
- Btw whos this stuck up bitch complaining about the food, can we send her back?
- WHAT HAPPENED TO LOW PROFILE!! I KNEW TABITHA WOULD FORGET ORORO TELLIN HER TO NOT USE HER FUCKING POWERS I KNEW IT
- Oh course the bitch complaining about the food would be anti mutant of fuckin course
- Jamie you cloned the lobsters
- AND THERE GOES KURTS IMAGE INDUCER MAKIN SHIT MORE CHAOTIC
- So fuckin glad Logan isn't here
- YEHA I WONDER WHY ORORO WAS SO FUCKIN MAD MAYBE BECAUSE SHE SPECIFICALLY TOLD YALL TO NOT USE YOUR DAMN POWERS
- AND THERE GOES THE NO BEIN CALLED FREAKS AND WHATEVER ELSE SCOTT SAID THATS ALL GONE NOW
- If i was in their position id be fuckin seethin, im already seethin
- Oh boy the anxiety is sky rocketing, ALL BECAUSE NO ONE REMEMBERED TO STAY LOW PROFILE
- IT WAS GOING OKAY TIL SOME DUMBASSES RUINED IT
- Oh great now Amaras fuckin dying
- No xkids huh?
- "What could happen" STOP JINXING YOURSELF
- Kurt, his mutation is ice, same reason Amara wasnt doing well on water
- "Do i know what my girl needs or what" OR WHAT, CAUSE YOU TOOK HER TO BOBBY WHEN SHE FIRST WASNT DOING OKAY, INSTEAD OF YKNOW, AN INFIRMARY, OR HER ROOM
- DAMMIT AMARA
- Amaras fine, TIL SHE ACTIVATED THE FUVKIN VOLCANO
- Yeah no Logan would hate All of this, like everything happening in this episode
- Yeah they're on the island cause amara needed land and scott n jean wanted alone time, and kurt n kitty wanted to keep following jean n scott
- Bobby dont think you can just easily stop the volcano
- Oh yeah there was a weird storm
- AND THERE IT GOES
- Tabitha im sure amara knoes what shes doing
- BOBBY LAVA MELTS ICE
- ORORO
- Ororo i think shes fine
- Yeah exactly, shes fine
- Her codename is literally Magma i think shes fine
- Yeah not exactly like she can do that back in fuckin new york
- Oh thats it, we're finally done now? Thanks that was annoying
S3E11 - X23
- LOGAN NEW DAUGHTER EPISODE
- what the fuck is going on here
- WAIT LEMME READ THAT
- Coulda sworn he was like 300-400lbs, not 232lbs
- Btw pretty sure its common knowledge hes from Canada, specifically Alberta
- "Ssn: ???" YOU'RE TELLIN ME THERE WAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO JUST HAVE LOGANS SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER IN A FUCKIN EPISODE
- Btw blood type is d+
- Ohhhh, Laura's readin his file, to find him, right
- Wait whyd she destroy all the monitors showing pics of him
- Laura you can scale walls
- Yeah exactly like that
- Why does bobby do a pretty good logan impression
- This aint a training session anymore
- Well wait, yes it is
- "Ill find the others n come back for you" everyone is stuck somewhere
- Sam is being bested by a fuckin net
- BOBBY WASNT PAYIN ATTENTION AND HE SLID INTO LOGAN
- After last 2 episodes, fuckin missed Logan
- "Why does Fury believe you have anything to do with the SHIELD break in?" Maybe cause the intruder has metal retractable claws
- And apparently his dna
- Xavier you know he dont like askin for help
- Thats why hes got a sample of your dna
- Also that immediate aggression and snarl when this lady called him weapon x
- why are we in a hurry over this?
- "Perfect weapon" aka weapon x 2.0 aka tiny logan
- Yeah i wonder why there was some instability, look at Logan, you think he's stable? No
- Could also be because youre keeping this child clone of logan in a warehouse and only ever having her train
- Shes out there somewhere, yeah shes already at the mansion cause she was huntin for Logan
- Yeah there she is
- Yeah on the topic of wolverine, theres one in the tree above you
- Hank do you not sense her?
- Yeah i wonder why she's so fuckin pissed
- "Blend in naturally" huh?
- Good you dont deserve to sleep at night for literally putting a child through what logan went through, minus the parent death
- "Oh we gotta find her" SHE WENT FINDIN LOGAN BUT LOGAN AINT HERE
- Oh my fuck Charles is sensing Logan but its actually Laura cause shes got Logan's dna
- HOW DO YOU MISTAKE A TEENAGE GIRL WITH LOGANS DNA CRYING IN A ROOM FOR LOGAN?
- oh distraction i see
- She incapacitated the professor so now shes lookin around the nansions
- DAMMIT SHE GOT SAM TOO
- Oh thats where everyone went
- LOGAN IT TOOK YOU FUCKING FOREVER MAN WHAT THE HELL
- DAMMIT SHE GOT ORORO
- Complicated, as Laura just cut a hole open in the floor Logan was standin on
- Logan she's after you, you know shes got your dna n shit
- Logan you dont tend to talk about problems, why would she?
- NOT THE TV
- Laura why the fuck would he want someone to be the next weapon x after the shit he went through?
- Cant lie i was half expectin her to start runnin on all fours
- FURY GETTIN IN LOGANS FACE CAUSE HE ISNT LETTING SHIELD GET A HOLD OF LAURA BUT FURY'S GOTTA BEND DOWN A BIT CAUSE LOGANS 5'3 I KNOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE SOME EMOTIONAL THING BUT ITS SO FUCKIN FUNNY
- Oh fuck i wish i had a way to get frames of this show cause holy fuck
- oh boy logan training session
- Oh wait its actually a fun thing and not whatever the fuck intense shit he was havin em for before
- HA NICE "Oh and uhh, extra credit for anyone who takes out the ice cube"
- So i take it everyone but bobby gets that extra credit?
S3E12 & 13 - Dark Horizon
- I still can't get over how they did Magnus so dirty in this show
- Wait is the this episode when Apocalypse finally shows up and the literal teenagers plus Charles, Hank, Ororo, Logan, n Warren have to fight him n put him back in his interdimensional box
- WAIT IS THIS THE MAGNUS PLAYING WITH CHARLES MIND WHILE HES ASLEEP CLIP?
- Thats not Magnus
- No thats rogue what thw fuck is rogue doing
- WHY IS ROGUE ABSORBING EVERYONES MEMORIES N POWERS
- Still love that Kitty has a dinosaur plushie
- No scotts passed out and/or possessed
- And there goes Kitty
- BRO THATS A GOOD LIL TIDBIT ABOUT MUTATIONS, KITTY FUCKIN NOCLIPPED THROUGH HER PILLOW WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP
- Kurt turning off the alarm with his tail
- Wait fuck you mean last day of school
- KURT GET YOUR ASS OFF THE TABLE AT LEAST HANG OFF THE CHANDELIER MAN
- Everyones fuckin rushin cause Rogue got possessed and snatched everyone's powers n shit
- If thats destiny or mystique please fuck off
- Jean i dont blame Scott, dont give hik shit about it
- WHEN WILL KELLY FUCK OFF ITS NOT LIKE WE CAN JUST KILL HIM CAUSE ITS A KIDS SHOW
- Todd what in the ever loving fuck are you doing you are pissing off Fred
- Rogue why are we sneakin into the brotherhood house
- And there goes Wanda
- FREDS WATCHIN THE POWER PUFF GIRLS, Sittin in his chair havin his breakfast in a hopefully comfy ass bathrobe, no cares to be seen
- Love that Todd's default stance is frog sit
- Todd basically sharing breakfast with fred
- And there goes Lance
- What the fuck is going on man
- THERE GOES FRED N TODDS BREAKFAST
- YOUD THINK PIETRO WOULDVE SEEN SHIT GOIN DOWNHILL SOONER, NOPE NOT UNTIL TODD GETS GOT
- WANDAS BEEN PASSED OUT, LANCE ONLY GOT GOT CAUSE HE FOUND WANDA, THEN FRED N TODD
- Is Rogue gonna struggle getting Pietro? Cause he may be kinda dumb and egotistical, however, hes egotistical and only watches out for himself, also very fast
- Exactly
- Well she got Wandas powers, neverminD
- MYSTIQUE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLANNING
- We're just completely glossing over Rogue sneaking off and absorbing people's mrmories n powers, also rogue being fucking Gone?
- PIOTR!!
- Oh now we're getting the acolytes too?
- Hi Victor, coulda done that before she knocked Piotr out, also you shouldve smelled her n Mystique here quicker than that
- She aint stupid, shes possessed or somethin
- REMYYY
- Remys such a fuckin yapper
- Well there goes the acolytes, minus Mastermind
- Yeah i was about to say didnt remy like completely fall on the floor? He did, it was Rogue disguise as Remy
- No realy though what the fuck is going on
- No wait hold it did she move him against a box? Okay whatever i guess
- If she wants all the acolytes though shes still gotta get Mastermind, and fuck knows where his cryptic ass is at
- Jean would be the type to be happy cause "we got our whole future ahead of us :D"
- I coulda sworn jean was on the taller side, why she look like shes Logans height?
- Loagn n Hank <333
- Kelly fuck off ya prick you're talkin to teenagers
- Oh fuck off man, magneto what the fuck
- Oh is mesmero behind this? Oh so she is
- THAT WOULD ALSO EXPLAIN WHY ROGUE IS THROWING CHAIRS AT EVERYONE AND FLEW OFF
- KELLY SHUT IT
- Magneto told Vic n Remy to go with Logan and he immediately went "No! I dont need them >:("
- Charles having to tell him off
- OH WAIT IS THIS THE EPISODE WITH LOGAN REMY N VIC GOING ON SOME KIND OF TRIP AND IT'S BASICALLY JUST REMY GOT STUCK BABYSITTING 2 ANIMALS THAT LOATHE EACHOTHERS GUTS??
- Charles scolding logan and logan n vic Immediately growling at each other
- YES IT IS THE ROAD TRIP THING
- I feel so bad for Remys nervous system
- I read a fic based of this episode and its all i can think about now
- Look at the feral animals work together <333
- Nevermind, they immediately started arguing about who was where and which one of em is better at tracking
- Metal crunch.mp3
- LOGAN SITTIN ON THE TOP OF THE LIMO WHILE REMYS TRYIN TO GET EM BACK UNDER CONTROL, HE JUST SHUFFLES OVER A BIT WHILE REMYS STARIN DOWN VIC
- HIS HOP DOWN AAA
- I love these idiots
- Vic isnt an arboreal animal, he wouldn't think about aircraft first
- Charles please dont have a seizure while finding the lazarus temple
- Okay thank fuck he didnt pass out
- The constant fighting between Vic n Logan and Remy having to interrupt their arguments before we get comic level ratings
- Oh boy having vic n logan on a plane will go over well totally /sarc
- Welp Kitty found the lazarus temple
- Oh the ground fucking seperated, oh cause theres a some-fucking-how built in stairway that leads underground
- Okay if its the statues literally coming to life part that creeps you out, i get that, but please put some respect on the kemetic gods' names, i got altars for like 3 of em
- Thank you Magnus for helping your ex husband not get dropped into the earths core
- OH NOW JEANS PASSED OUT
- Oh great they got seperated
- "Nice n slow" "you got it *speeds the fuck outta there while pyro tries lighting one of the statues entirely on fire*"
- I love piotrs voice
- No hank no one reads cause whatever headsets they got probably are destroyed
- Of course hank can read heiroglyphs
- Im sorry wait apocalypse was a child once?
- Why are we putting a sob story to a character that literally tries taking over the entire fucking universe, all timelines n shit, etc etc?
- WAIT THE STATUES ARENT SOME PARANORMAL THING ITS ROBOTS???
- Well the sphynx/lion statues were robotics at least
- I still cant believe apocalypse was like an actual person at one point, and not like, a force of nature or whatever the fuck he was in xtas
- KITTY MAN N WEASEL IN THEIR NATURAL ENVIRONMENT
- Remys so fuckin tired of their shit with the whole scent tracking thing
- Hey Kurt why the fuck are we insulting Piotr
- Oh wait are we still doin the implied kitty x Kurt thing?
- "Hes a softie if you ask me, hes just so quiet :)" as Piotr literally breaks a fucking wall down to find Kitty n Kurt
- AAAAHHHHH "I.. i grew concerned.."
- I love piotr so much
- Okay wait so, the lion/shpynx statues were robotics, are the god statues also robotics? Or is it whatever the spider guardian key thing was?
- Yeah maybe it was buried for over 5 thousand years cause no one else but mesmero so far has tried opening the lazarus chamber, and also gotten past the secret stairway thats built into the fucking ground, and also the statues literally trying to keep people out, not to mention the spider guardian key thing that only got destroyed cause it hurt Magnus's feelings when he realized he couldn't have control over it, and also Mesmero using Magnus as a way to get the spider guardian out of his way of getting into the chamber
- Oh that cerebro interface looks like the headress Apocalypse wears when hes in the lazarus chamber in xtas
- I just fuckin know Logan was yelling for hank over that intercom for so fucking long
- Charles looks so angry and confused
- "Stop them any way you can" you let the most psychologically sensitive people in charge of taking care of a high level telepath
- Vic can we not one up logan right now yall are in charge of getting Mystique, Rogue n Mesmero off this fucking mountain
- "Do me a favor, why dont you Both jump off the mountain" remy is so fucking done making sure these grown fucking men don't try to fucking kill each other while on this mission
- Oh so this was all a ploy to have Mystique be a vessel or somethin for Apocalypse, great job lady, you got out conned
- "I was sure Both our futures would be secure" see heres the thing Mystique, you did some similar shit in xtas, neither of which works out, cause apocalypse really did not care about anyone else, and you were only looking out for yourself not your adopted daughter that youve nearly gotten killed probably multiple times cause you were only looking out for her mutation
- Mystique he didnt possess you like he did rogue, cause you know your mutation and went through a secondary mutation thing after the asteroid m thing, rogues only like 17
- BTW "Why didnt you just Enslave me like you did her?" Is wild, thats your fucking daughter, uh how many times is that for Mystique being a terrible fuckin parent? I know there's a long ass list
- Fitting that she turned into a cobra, a black n beige one at that, really blends into the environment
- Oh well now shes turned into fuckin stone doing what Mesmero asked of her
- Oh hey Remy vic n logan are here
- VIC STOCK TIGER SFX
- Hey why is Mesmero op, well i mean granted, the man full of metal is a terrible choice for fighting someone that can shock people, vic is vic, i dont know why remy didnt do much
- Hey why is Apocalypse an actual person I don't like that I'm used to him just existing as some higher level entity that looks like some weird anthropomorphic frog mech man
- YEAH THE STATUES ARE ROBOTICS WHY CAN'T WE JUST FIGHT EM LIKE THE SENTINELS WHY IS ELECTRICITY NOT WORKING WHEN MAGNUS CAN MOVE EM AROUND N SHIT
- Oh thats why Mesmero needed rogue
- Well so much for havin rogue recover in the infirmary after the whole Mystique went too far thing
- One of Logans adopted children got hurt (again) ajd now hes fuvkin Pissed
- Hey so this is fucking dramatic, again i dont like apocalypse and also why did they make him like a normal ass person that managed to live for thousands of years in the lazarus temple?
- Okay love the xmen cartoons love watching xmen cartoons, why the fuck we gotta do dumb shit though?
(warning: spoilers & me And dude bein a dumbass, also 18+ themes that usually are within the postal games but heavy warning for it on this one)
- okay recordin this time so i aint gotta ruin anythin by screenshottin, i kept missin a lot anyways
- Please dont break my shit cause im recordin with a software
- The loading screens aren't makin me hopeful
- I do need to figure out how to delete saves, unless thats just some in file shit
- EYYY SUBTILE CHECK
- Oh the framerate kinda fuckin sucks
- Well hold on now
- The title screen is so pretty
- I dont think obs likes postal 3, it was sayin somethin about encoding overload
- Lets try 30fps
- Oh fuck how is it gonna be with the actual gameplay
- Fuck it ill just upload clips from someones playthrough if i want vids that bad
- Wair hold on now the loading bar looks nice, its still a little slow
- Oh its quite a bit slow
- Welp screenshots it is
- Okay yes he forgor his real name due to meth but he also hates bein called postal dude
- He was 'Devastated' when his wife left
- CHAMP QUIT RUNNIN OFF MAN
- Oh hey tutorial, woulda been Great if ya mentioned how you can still move around n shoot when taking cover
- I hate takin screenshots of this game, man
- "*Shot in the shoulder* Ow that was a really Cheap shot. Hope ya learned a lot about the fucking health system, Skippy >B("
- I still can't get over the fact he can duck walk when takin cover
- Btw Dude, aggressive hip pop
- DUDE YOU ARE ON A BRIDGE COVERED IN DESTORYED AND TURNED OVER CARS AND YOURE DEALIN WITH ZOMBIES N MILITARY BITCHES THERE ARE NO FUN MINIGAMES
- Awh he kicks up lil dust clouds when he runs
- WHAT THE FUCK IS LAME STREAM AND WHY DO YOU KEEP TALKIN ABOUT IT
- So why cant i have the whole box of grenades, why is the max 10
- THERES ONLY THE FUCKIN GRENADES THIS SUCKS ASS
- I cant believe his dumb ass really goes "BD 🖐️" at the zombies
- Okay so i was thinkin bout this earlier and how hes got a small bladder, a full meter lasts like 5 seconds, what the fuck man, and it doesnt even reload properly unless you have it at the ready
- Fuck you game i have nothing to smash their heads open with cause theres nothing here to loot
- Okay so if you throw the grenades to far they clip through the bridge and explode under the bridge so they dont even do anything
- I mentioned this before but this is calming lullaby type music is a weird choice for this section
- STOP SNEEZING AT ME FUCKERS
- Oh btw placin explosives act as landmines
- "Awh thos eguys look scared n cold down there. Would it be Wrong of me to warm them up? *Aggressive look/cut to the gasoline cans that dont fuckin work properly*"
- Okay so, standing next to the on fire cars will interrupt Dude and also hurt
- "You think You'rre upset? Have you Seen the price of gasoline?"
- I dont know why im quotin all these when i literally got the files for em copied for me to go through
- FUCK YOU YOU METH HEAD NO MAD COW ZOMBIES ON FIRE WITH GASOLINE WOULD NOT SMELL GOOD I THINK YOU AND LARRY WERE RIGHT ABOUT METH LIQUIFYING YOUR BRAINCELLS
- OH COME ON I WANTED MORE GASOLINE Hey pepper spray
- Bro your standards must be low if the first thing you find is pepper spray and you go "hey theres useful shit all over this place" WHEN THERE LITERALLY ISNT BUT TUTORIAL SHIT
- Yes fill my inventory with pepper spray cause that'll totally fuck up the military guys
- The game took my grenades btw
- TOOK MY GASOLINE TOO
- I WANNA GO DICK AROUND BUT THE GAME WONT LET ME VAULT OVER THE GUARD RAIL
- Ha when he stances up his thighs and sometimes ass clip through his coat, his ass n thighs too fat for coat physics
- Wait why is the bridge movin i dont like that
- WAIT DUDE DICK CENSOR FINALLY, As im literally bein shot BUT STILL FINALLY
- If you can see it over his arm that tells me its in fact Not tiny like a certain other dude
- "Impressed with the way i Totally did Not kill his men"
- HE SAYS "No problemo B)" TO THE GENERAL DUDE WHEN BEIN TOLD TO N O T PRESS THE BUTTON THAT TOTALLY ISNT JUST THE BRIDGE SUSPENSION
- "Nobodys lookin, maybe i can jus press it a Liiiittle bit.."
- Fuck you I'll dick around as long as i want here
- Like the mission says Do NOT Press the button
- Hahah wait dude can knee things, nice
- Bro im more interested in this box that says danher
- DID HE JUST SNEEZE OR IS HE LAUGHIN AT ME NOT PRESSIN THE BUTTON, He wiped his face on his sleeve btw, whole sleeve
- DIDN'T MEAN TO PUNCH THE DANGER BOX Nothin happened though, just the stock source metal sfx
- His fingies
- WAIT WOAH HIS FEET BROKE THATS WHAT I SAW WHEN I LOADED UO THE HOMELAND SECURITY MISSION BEFORE I RESTARTED
- I think hes laughin not sneezin, like that disbelief kinda laugh
- Wow he gets chatty when he wants somethin to do
- Fuck you and the button im dickin around
- Okay so, i think his dick is a normal size, maybe a lil over, like 6-7, judgin from the censor
- HE JUST STARES AT HIS DICK WHEN YOU OPEN THE ZIPPER BTW
- Dude you sayin somethings pretty and shiny n candy like doesnt hit as hard if your like slouched over your dick like gollum
- FUCK YOU THIRD PERSON POV IM BYPASSING THIS SHIT N GETTIN SCREENSHOTS OF HIS DICK CENSOR
- Yeah no, its not small, nothin about him is small
- Bro you can Really bend his spine when his dicks out holy fuck
- I still got blood on me
- Wait no, not even 5sec, thats a 4sec bladder dude, that's an insult to the postal name
- Fuck your button im fuckin with the physics
- He is really laughin at me not pressin the button yet
- HIS FEET ARE BREAKIN
- Fine I'll press the button.
- "I dood it" i hate him so much
- Hi cartoon mad cow mike j
- Wait there's rocket launchers in this game?
- Yeah y'know the global economic meltdown
- I would never call p3 perfectly qualified at anything, not even a porn shop
- Oh boy bullshit hockey mom intro mission here i come
- "I pity their husbands" meanwhile lookin like "BD" watching them vomit at jizz rags
- Man, everyones havin a fun time then there's Dude not Even bein paid to vaccuum jizz rags
- Yknow what Dude, yeah ive- wait ive think ive seen valve shaders for cum, nevermind
- "Was is as good for you as it was me? (^_-)~"
- Again, Dude's so real about the free porn instead of the shop vac
- Yeah, grossly overqualified for catchin diseased cats
- Yeah hes so humanitarian, totally
- Oh boy this fuckin mission where i ended up in a town wide cod lobby minus the explosives
- I was gonna try parkouring for loot but i remembered p3 doesnt jump, only vaults
- "I really needed the cash- i mean this was a cause that mean Sooo much to me"
- Oh fuck wait when he gets high off the catnip he straight up huffs it, i can only imagine this fucker seein the world in mantis shrimp vision, slurrin his speech, and has fuckin weaponized catnip sprayed on his face, stumblin the fuck around n shit
- Wait i kicked a door open and it opened so politely instead of slamming open like it shoulda
- Wait what does pinche pendejo mean, some lady whos house i raided called me it
- Also they were trying to fight me, but i found their shotgun, soo
- Oh hey wait i think thats the same porn wall dudes got in that nasty ass room of his
- The shotguns so rattly when you walk around with it
- "Goood kitty"
- When you pick up the cats sometimes it does a Minecraft pop sound like when you get something in your inventory
- I don't remember where i left of, i dont remember if i died and decided to quit or finished the mission
- Btw this game isnt sectioned by days, just the missions/locations, so i cant help but think all this shit is goin doin in 1 singular fucked up day
- OH ALSO THING I NOTICED YESTERDAY, HIS JACKET HAS HOLES N TEARS IN IT, I JUST THOUGH HIS HAIR WAS CLIPPING THROUGH THE COLLAR, NAH ITS JUST A FUCKED UP COAT (you can see the back of his neck btw, yes the special interest is getting worse judging by me freaking out over bein able to see the back of his neck, please help /j)
- Oh i dont think i got through it
- Fuck
- Oh the catnip still slows everything down like in p2, too bad it doesnt last as long
- I do like seein p3 huff the catnip like whippits though
- Oh gods help me and my laptop
- So wait, the npcs tell me to stay away from em, but while they're actively chasin me down
- Why did my dumbass only just realize this trailer in the map is Dude's, the plates even say Dude
- I threw a cat but i was next to a wall and the cats collision box or something is stuck in the wall
- Nevermind it grabbed onto me
- Btw using the cats as weapons does in fact lower the number on the mission log, aka you throw a cat you gotta grab another cat
- Please do not crash i just looted the entire map before the cutscne DAMMIT
- Wait so blood splatter doesnt disappear anymore?
- WAIT CAN YOU USE THE PISS MECHANIC AND TAKE COVER AT THE SAME TIME CAUSE I FOUND A CORNER THAT COULD BE USEFUL FOR SEEIN THE DICK CENSOR
- WAIT DUDE IS SO MUCH TALLER THAN THE NPCS, but also with him bein tall, he cant really fit in tight spaces like p2 unfortunately
- WHYS DUDE SENIOR AND CHAMP ON CEREAL BOXES
- P3S THE SAME FUCKIN HEIGHT AS THE SHELVES IN THE GAS STATION
- IS THAT MAGAZINE ANOTHER DUKE NUKEM REFERENCE? IT LITERALLY SAYS DORK BLAST EM
- Oh hey look a Wrythe mention
- Okay im lookin back at the trailer cause one of my screenshots of the traioer broke, and im just now realizin, p3 probably has to slouch or lean forward or somethin in order to get in his fucking trailer, also theres No way in hell a 6'8" 30's-40's bigback man and his fat demanding awful ex wife are Both fitting in that thing simultaneously, thats like p3 at Most
- CAN MY SCREENSHOTS STOP BREAKING!! IM NOT EVEN TAKIN PICS OF THE SCREENSHOTS IM JUST TRYIN TO GET PICS OF THE GAME
- I retract my statement on the censor bar bein not small, that is disappointing
- HEY AKELLA YOU FUCKIN SUCK FOR THAT
- Thats fine this is why headcanons exist, fuck you for makin the dick censor the size of his hands but makin it so you can still see the censor from the side
- I really dont like this mission
- Apparently saving while taking cover breaks the game
- Finally got over with it
- Oh wait i just realized dude said him not gettin paid was startin to feel like a theme, probably cause it is
- "Security was my mothers maiden name. Er, at least it was a tattoo she had"
- He is Not payin attention HIS QUICK LIL LOOK UP
- THE FINAL FRAME OF THE CUTSCENE SAYS LETS SMOKE THESE BYOTCHES
- Oh wait dude callin her miss Walcott is a regular thing not just him havin a dumb puppy crush (he doesnt get there yet, wait til after this section and maybe he will)
- And his quick fuckin "got it" when jen tells him to use the taser
- WAIT IM PRETTY SURE SHE THREATEND TO SHOOT US IN THE FACE IF WE FUCK THIS UP to be fair i would also
- The achievements in this game make no sense, why do i gotta play this shit 3 times in order to actually get the fuckin achievement
- Jens mission felt so much lighter and easier holy shit
- K im fuckin around with the cashmart section cause I'm tryin to figure out which cutscenes go where cause the file names dont tell me shit, and i do not remember this section bein as difficult as it is
- I might just say fuck it and go insane, im not gonna save it but just to figure out where cutscenes go
- DAMMIT JEN THIS SHOVEL FUCKIN SUCKS
- I hate the npcs in this game man
- Playin the cashmart section for real this time csuse i dont need to go through sections to find the cutscenes by hand
- DUDE STOP HITTIN WALLS N SHIT WITJ THE MACHETE P2 NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM
- Just realized even in the cashmart im still the human meat shield, these fuckers are waitin on me to open the second floor offices
- So fuckin glad I fixed the subtitles
- Yeah i think the cashmart section music is just completely fucked, it was playin over the karma tutorial again
- OH MAN THAT PEPPERSPRAY TIP WOULD BE HELPFUL IF I HAD ANY FUCKING PEPPERSPRAY AND IF I COUKD REMEMBER THAT SHIT
- Oh boy the lag hell that is the police academy
- SO NO ONE TOLD ME YOU CAN CHARGE FIRE FOR THE TASER THAT WOULDA BEEN SUPER HELPFUL DURIN THE UWE BOLL SHIT
- Btw yeah so the game is never clear with this kinda shit, but the lieutenant and the chief are 2 different people, so i was wrong about that in the last commentary BUT That doesn't explain why the lt was still leading us to the chiefs sex dungeon (also it was the chief on vacation not some random hobo) unless it was "sex as a reward" thing, i still majorly hate this section for those implications
- I like how dude's coat swishes when he runs around
- HEY ITS NOT MY FAULT HE KEEPS GETTING SET ON FIRE
- CAN THESE COPS STAY OUTTA NY FUCKIN WAY MAN
- Oh man i love when the doors in the police academy break i so gotta go through All that shit again
- I really wanna light the lt on fire
- I hate the fuckin infirmary i really hate the fuckin infirmary
- And now my controls are broken
- Thats fine I need to go to bed anyway
- Maybe not
- FUCKIN DID IT
- APPARENTLY ARRESTING PEOPLE WHO ARENT ON THE LIST DEPLETES THE GOOD METER
- I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING THE CAR FUCKIN EXPLODED
- I FOUND A SEGWAY AND YOU CAN RIDE IT BY PRESSIN E
- I love that in tje uwe boll section, the very last nerd you gotta take down breaks
- ARCADE SHOOTOUT TIME
- Also there was a shotgun leaned against the parked cop car
- No Dude, they didn't level up, the hockey mom's are Also in the shootout
- The game cant figur out how to spell Sergei's name, is it an i or a y, figure it out
- LOVE WHEN THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME START SHOOTING AT ME, WASNT JUST THE BLONDE LADY, WAS HER, THE OTHER POSTAL BABE AND SERGEI THIS TIME
- Shot a civilian cause i thought he was a nerd
- Hey question, why the fuck is my karma meter not goin up, i didnt kill a single fuckin person in the uwe boll thing nor the first patrol mission
- Jen bein next to him and talkin to him makes his brain happy i can literally see it
- Homeland insecurity time
- WAIT THERES A BLOCK FUNCTION?? WHY IS THAT JUST A PROTIP AND NOT IN THE TUTORIAL??
- At least we arent fighting actual immigrants, just poorly disguised terrorists
- Wait why are we letting some terrorists in?
- OHHH Its the max amount you're allowed to let in
- Why the fuck cant we just stick to bein a cop, why did we have to get put in border control
- Kay so i think the 30 talibans left in the city part bugged so im restartin
- ALSO WHY IS DUDE THE ONLY ONE WITH A GREEN UNIFORM, BTW IT LOOKS AWFUL GIVE ME THE OTHER UNIFORM BACK
- I hate this section
- The npcs are still gettin in my way
- "Suck-sess"
- THEY'RE ACTIVELY CLIMBING FUCKIN BARB WIRE WHILE DUDE AND THE LT ARE TALKIN
- Oh fuck whatre we doin now
- Oh the upgrade weapon means you can put a cat on it, yeah not doin that, why do we need a specific button for that? Thats not how that was in postal 2
- Please tell me Dude isnt wearin a fugly ass green uniform
- Oh animal testing on monkeys
- Oh we're euthanizing monkeys i guess
- THANK FUCK HES IN THE BLUE UNIFORM HERE AND NOT THE FUCKIN GREEN
- Looked up some info about the karma meter and someone says the game lies about how it works, and that it was probably rushed through, which kinda tracks
- Tasing onlu the monkeys works
- Oh boy, i dont like that door opening cutscene that felt ominous
- Hey what if i Dont wanna go to the end of the corridor, cause i immediately got blood on me the second the cutscene ended
- THERE'S PILES OF SHIT EVERYWHERE IN THIS FUCKING BUILDING BRO
- I DONT WANNA GO TO THE END OF THIS CORRIDOR THERES NOTHING SO FAR BUT DERVISH CATS AND VIOLENT MONKEYS
- oh the rhinos
- HE LOOKS SO SMUG WHEN HE GETS THE LASER Also theres that laser that Specifically had a key bind
- Hey so the rhino bugged
- THE RHINO BUGGED AND I GOTTA DO THIS WHOLE SECTION AGAIN
- "I wasnt paid to think" buddy you dont think to begin with
- Honestly the rhinos doin the job for me, all ive really been doin is throwin grenades when it gets stuck
- Oh the laser monkey is the helper monley tjat were Not supposed to get killed
- ALSO CHAMP
- DID THIS GUY CALL DUDE CRACKER BARREL Honestly id take that as a compliment, Cracker Barrel is fuckin good
- Wait dude what the hell did you say
- FUCK YEAH K9 CHAMP
- CAN WE STOP WITH THE AARRGGHH SCREENS DAMN
- Yeah thatd explain why i rarely see cops around ALSO PATROL MISSION 2
- HE JUST WATCHES SHIT GO DOWN AND SAYS SOMETHIN SARCASTIC ABOUT IT brother how the fuck are you getting paid for this, i say as i just remember that this whole police force has some level of corruption and i despise the lieutenant
- WHAT HAPPENED FOR ME TO LOSE PART OF MY KARMA METER
- BRO I WANNA FUCKIN LOOT I DONT WANNA DO THIS SHIT
- HE FULLY BACKS UP TO SEE WHAT THE FUCKS GOIN ON IN THIS ALLEYWAY, LIKE FULLY WALKS BACKWARDS
- Coleman arms you say
- Oh great a shootout in the apartment
- NOPE SNIPERS
- Canon fact: Dude hates snipers as if he totally didnt use sniper rifles in postal 2
- These are bad snipers they aint even using sniper rifles they got m16s
- Why we crowdin the theater?
- Oh its a gang fight how the fuck is this gonna work?
- Well that went over quicker than i expected, no guns neither surprisingly
- Hold on wait some of the graffiti in this town looks cool as hell
- Id appreciate a fuckin map please
- Pretty sure i found the house that has the intro easter egg but i dont know how to get in CAUSE THIS DUMBASS CANT JUMP OR CROUCH AND THE DOOR WONT OPEN
- Heres rhe thing, i havent played any of the alt paths, minus the insane path but Only in the cashmart til the helicopter killed me
- Oh hey look, i found Daveland
- BITCH I JUST PASSED ANGIEOPLASTYS
- Oh great ecotologists
- WHY IS THERE BEES
- Oh hey i got a free badgersaw cause an ecotologist dropped it when they died
- "Ill use this" they say as i blew their head up with a shotgun shell
- Oh hey there was a map
- And we're goin to a different section now
- AYY WERE SWAT NOW Yeah no we dont need a helmet, we're literally the human meat shield anyway
- BTW IM PRETTY SURE THE LEADER OF THE ECOTOLOGISTS WE MET BACK IN THE DISEASED CAT SECTION
- AND THE UNIFORM DOESNT LOOK UGLY AS SHIT LIKE THE BORDER CONTROL UNIFORM
- Wait nevermind its pretty bad
- OF COURSE THERES MORE
- WHY ALL TJE FUCKIN BEES MAN I DON'T HAVE THE STAMINA FOR THIS
- So is al in some basement or somethin?
- Oh no Al was the guy that looked like he just got off driving a boat
- FUCK YEAH GAY RODEO TIME THAT DUDE MADE SOUND VAGUELY HOMOPHOBIC, i think he was just quoting the lieutenant who probably would be homophobic even though that "welcome" to the police force sounded sketchy as hell
- RON CHOMO IN ONE OF THOSE PINK COWGIRL HATS WITH A TIARA ON IT
- WHY ARE SE GIVING THE COWS METH
- Dude can we not be homophobic right now they're givin the rodeo cows meth
- THE WAY HE CROUCHED DOWN AND LOOKED AT EM WHEN THE ECOTOLOGISTS WERE SHOOTIN AT HIM, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A CLEARER "WHAT THE FUCK" IN MY LIFE
- Also the intro music is playin in this section
- Well that went over wuick
- THAT WASNT A COW ITS A FUCKIN RHINO PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE A COW
- DUDE RAGDOLLS WHEN HE GETS HIT BY THE WHINO
- Why is ron helpin us gettin into secret service, but at least i got that misson over with
- Oh wait yeah he was mayor
- NO NOT THE SEGWAYS
- No fuck you i aint usin a damn segway how the fuck am i supposed to use a segway And keep terrorists from killin the "mayor"
- OH THANK FUCK HIS HEALTH METER REGENS WITH EACH SECTION
- Ron thats sketch
- THATS VERY SKETCH SHUT UP
- OH OKAY WE'RE SPECIFICALLY HIS TARGET NICE GOT IT THANKS RON
- Please dont break Right as the cutscene starts playin
- Imma see if closing it n opening it again will work
- I called it a day instead of seeing if it worked
- Ew wait do i gotta go through the gay rodeo n the motorcade shit again?
- WAIT I GOT 2 AUTOSAVES FOR IT GET ME OUTTA THAT SHIT QUICK
- IM OUT OKAY FUCKED UP DAVELAND TIME
- AND THE CUTSCENE PLAYS
- Oh boy
- "Elite liberal media conspiracy" you say, sounds real familiar
- Why the hell are we so obsessed with plutonium
- Can we not zoom in on randys face
- DUDR CAUSALLY HOLDIN 2 PISTOLS TO SOME GUYS HEAD BUT NOT FUCKIN MOVIN WHEN THEY RUN AWAY
- "Hells yeah!"
- I Dont know what im supposed to be doin here, but no ones shootin At me so imma just book jt
- WHY IS THERE A HEDGE MAZE
- Oh i see, they fuck themselves over wait no i think this is the fuck up cutscene NO WAIT SUCCESS CUTSCENE
- So the rocket launcher killed me, among other things
- THEY FUCKING FOLLOW YOU AND THE TERRORISTS ARE ALSO ON YOUR ASS
- AND IT FROZE ON THE PAUSE SCREEN
- My laptop is very high in temp rn so imma just not, even though im Veey close to the end of the fuckin game
- Yeah no im not even gonna bother with the achievements those dont even work unless you get em like 3 times over, im goin straight to paradise lost after i finish this shit
- BOSSFIGHT TAKE 4, PLEASE DONT CRASH THIS TIME
- Also already asked myself this but if we have to Fight Dave in a boss battle, why the fuck is he on the cover And in one of the loading screens
- Good lord the lag, its givin me screen tearing
- I USED A MOLOTOV ON RON AND OSAMA AND THEY LOOK LIKE CHARRED ZOMBIES IM SCARED HELP I THINK THEY BUGGED, THEY ARENT CARRYING WEAPONS ANYMORE THEYRE JUST FOLLOWING ME
- I used a bagdersaw on ron and cause its a boss fight, the animation didnt stop till ron died
- Oh wait they could still shove
- "EPIC WIN" early 2010's fuckin internet shitlord
- WHAT HAPPENED TO TJE SECRET SERVICE SUIT MAN Well i do like the coat n jeans better honestly
- Hey Dude, we never killed Al, just got him arrested
- BADGER BOX
- NO THE BADGERS!!!
- Well Als dead now
- CHAMP
- PLEASE LET'S LEAVE I HATE IT HERE
- FUCK
- Awesome we gotta look out for champ, this isnt gonna go well
- Btw, never got any health shit in this entire game, not a single fuckin health pipe or food or nothin
- CHAMP WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN RIGHT TO THE GRENADE YOU DUMBASS
- PSYCHO MY ASS THIS DOGS A GENERIC ASS PITBULL
- Okay well, yknow what no thats literally generic pitbull behavior, my mom's pits literally murdered a stray cat for bein in the backyard cause territorial issues
- Im savin as much as i can durin this section both postal games ive played so far are like, you Need to save as much as possible during the apocalypse sections
- WHY IS THERE SNIPERS WHY ARE THEY ON THE ROOVES
- PLEASE DONT FUCKIN CRASH I JUST GOT TO A NEW AREA
- Also the intro easter egg during patrol mission 2 might be a free roam thing
- Please tell me we get a map in free roam
- Wait our car's still here?
- THIS DOG KEEPS GETTING CAUGHT ON STUFF AND RUNNING OFF
- Shoot the guys with blue vests a lil too much and you become on their list too
- CAN WE NOT WITH THE BOSS FIGHTS
- At least i aint gotta worry about champ right now, he ran off and i think the car's nearby cause i found the homeless tunnel that leads right to it
- IM DYING LIKE INSTANTLY WHAT THE FUCK
- Oh hey, the homeless tunnel is fuckin Stocked full of shit
- FUCKERS ARE CAMPING MY CAR
- Houses are blown up any branching pathways are blocked off, haven't found any molotovs cause im basically running a fuckin kill farm in this damn tunnel CAUSE THEY KEEP GOING AFTER ME, but i got a strat, i got one bar left to take out and im done i dont give a fuck if its 5am im almost fucking done with this shit
- The fire crackling sfx that plays when you pause the game is quite nice
- HUGO STOP CHANTING AMERICA ITS GETTING ANNOYING AND ITS REDUNDANT
- It crashed around an hour later and it wont open anymore
- Its the next day and I don't think it's opening anymore
- Okay well guess im not finishing it, thats it I guess, restarting aa2 didnt work so thats it
- Im definitely not achievement hunting this sumbitch cause IT WONT EVEN LET ME GET THEM NORMALLY I GOTTA REPLAY THE SHIT LIKE 3+ TIMES IN ORDER TO ACTUALLY UNLOCK THE SHIT
(warning: spoilers & me And dude bein a dumbass, also 18+ themes that usually are within the postal games but heavy warning for it on this one)
- OH BOY STUPID SEXY TITLE SCREEN HERE I COME
- Why does 3 have to be my favorite, why him, why that fuckin dumb 2010s internet moron
- Oh no warning pop up like 2 did?
- Im sorry what, Uwe Boll is a person? And has a purpose in postal 3??
- Ha wait "(*Note: facts may be unverified)"
- WHY DOES 3 LOOK LIKE CORKSCREW IN THE "There is no spoon" SCREEN WHY IS CORKSCREW HERE
- HURRY UP AND LET ME FIX MY RESOLUTION SO I CAN GET A BETTER SCREEN SHOT OF THAT
- 3 SHOOTING THE AKELLA LOGO IN THE WALL I ONOW THAT FUCKERS SILHOUETTE
- I KNEW THIS SOURCE HAD A PART IN THIS
- WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE
- DO THE STRETCH THING FATASS YEAH THERE IT IS I LOVE WHEN HE DOES THAT AAAA
- What kinda fuckin western psych rock is this title music
- YOU CAN DRAG THE OPTIONS WINDOW AROUND ON THE TITLE SCREEN This is source engine as hell
- Dont tell me specific weapons have their own keys, please tell me the controls are rhe same as 2
- 3 breathing sounds <333
- Hey so these controls look fuckin stupid in the options
- WHY IS KICK E? WHY IS IT NOT Q LIKE IN 2
- Ha theres still a zipper mechanic i love that
- I really dont like that kick is e and not q and that q is "upgrade weapon"
- WHY IS "USE ITEM" F WHAT THE FUCK IS S THAT SHIT AKELLA
- So there's a zipper mechanic, but by default, it has no key, while r is reload (which I never did in 2 cause you could just pick up ammo and it did it itself)
- THERES NO QUICK HEAL BUTTON WHAT THE FUCK, WHY IS THERE NO T TO HEAL BUTTON
- WHY IS T PISTOL THIS IS STUPID
- Im overwhelmed with this stupid keybindings what the fuck Akella
- At least the title screen is nice
- Hey bitchboy P3, im playin this trash for your dumb pretty ass
- I'm already tired I haven't even done anything yet but figure out the keybindings
- So wait theres a sprint button, but theres also a walk button, HOW DOES THAT WORK MAN
- What the fuck is a laser pen, and why does that feel so on brand for 3
- Oh yeah theres different paths, huh
- Im already fuckin stressed what the hell man
- Why are there meth head rhinos
- Oh hey wait the paradise bridge, that didnt look like that in 2, it did have all the wrecked/flipped over cars n semis though, didnt have guard rails
- SHIR WAIT I FORGOT TO APPLY THE CAPTIONS FUCK
- Yeah "overworked an needed a sabbatical" totally wasnt actually "fired once you got to the building"
- I love coreys dude voice
- No hold on, the tragedy struck Way before we got to the bridge, shit was goin to flames at like Friday or whatever
- Oh its 3rd person i dont like that how fo i make it fps
- Wait whys the piss option in the scroll wheel
- Oddly peaceful music for this section btw
- WHY DOES HE RUN LIKE THAT WHY DOES IT DO THAT WHEN HE RUNS I DONT LIKE THIS
- THIS GAME RUNS WEIRD THE MECHANICS AND CONTROLS ARE WEIRD, WHY IS THIS NOT FPS
- He runs like a fuckin anime character i hate it
- Oh the zombies still do the spit/sneeze thing
- AHY DOES DUDE PREEMPTIVELY UNZIP HIS FUCKIN PANTS WHEN YOU SCROLL THROUGH THE WEAPON SHIT
- I dont like that you gotta aim first Then use alt fire for the grenades that's weird
- Why do we only get to pick up 5 grenadez, what if i want the whole box
- THERE IS NO JUMP I HATE THAT
- Oh wait hes a fat ass weeb of course he wokt jump
- "Did i do that" when the grenades i accidentally place down explode cause thats a weird ass mechanic
- WHY AREN'T THE CAPTIONS WORKING
- The zombies don't even drop anything
- Hey so why do we only get one can of gasoline at a time? What if i want all of the gasoline i can find
- This gasoline mechanic sucks
- I kept thinkin he was gettin gasoline on his coat, no, his thighs are just to thick for the coat physics
- Oh wait we can carry more than one thing of gas
- Hey so this fuckin sucks
- DUDE SHUT UP ITS NOT EVEN NAPALM
- FINALLY WE CAN LOOT SHIT
- NO THERE WERENT ANY USEFUL ON SCREEN TEXT YOU BITCH
- CANT EVEN CROUCH
- His ass is fat though, and hes pretty, and has a nice Voice, so thats nice
- WHY DON'T WE KDEP THE GRENADES OR THE GASOLINE
- OF COURSE THEY WONT SHOW HIS DICK, NOT EVEN A CENSOR BAR, THEY SHOW A BLADDER METER THOUGH
- Oh wait we gotta grab the gun and separate ammo
- "Apparently some lunatic was takin out all of his guys"
- TOUCH THE BUTTON TOUCH THE BUTTON
- "Nobodys lookin, maybe i can jus press it a Lilll bit" guys he also really wants to press the button i think we press the button, the constant warnings saying NOT to press the button is tellin us somethin
- I hate this fuckin game
- Can i loot first
- "Okay im goin to, Noo.. i Shouldn't do it"
- "A shiny Candy like button.."
- "Man that button Sure is pretty.."
- I KEEP FORGETTING THERE IS NO JUMP, JUST "Take cover" NOT EVEN CROUCH
- I hate him "i do'd it"
- "Really? Thats Awesomeelyyy horrible, what a shame"
- THE CAPTIONS DONT EVEN FUCKIN WORK GREAT JOB THERE MAN
- Yeah y'know, the global economic meltdown
- Desert ass harmonica acoustic guitar music
- I was gonna stab someone, til i realized i dont have anything to stab with
- His little fuckin swaying why is he swaying does he also hear the music but only He can hear it cause he can break the fourth wall so everyone else just thinks hes delusional?
- "DRIVE THE MILFS OUTTA HERE"
- WUY DOES THE PISS METER GOTTA RUN OUT
- THIS MISSION SUCKS ASS BRO
- Oh no ron is dead noooo... Oh no so sad
- WE GOTTA DO ALL THAT SHIT AGAIN???
- ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT BITCH WOULDN'T FUCKIN LEAVE RON ALONE
- WHY IS ALT WALK WHY IS IT NOT CRTL SINCE WE AINT GONNA CROUCH FUNCTION
- To be fair i woudl also ask for free porn, that sounds like a better deal than a janky diy shop vac
- BTW WHY THE FUCK DID THE HOCKEY MOMS GET GUNS AND I JUST HAD JIZZ RAGS AND A SHOP VAC
- My laptop also Hates this game
- "I was Grossly overqualified"
- Nice way to introduce mechanics, have dude talk about em in his dumb little stories
- WHERE DO I FIND HEALTH AND WEAPONS??
- My controls have reversed for some reason after dying
- I went to the bathroom, had a break from this game, and ive come to the conclusion that i regret my decision on playing this before paradise lost
- I have come back from my break to discover i am stuck next between a wall, some fuckin crate, and a mailbox
- Okay so it would appear Dude is now gravitating towards this area no matter what key you press
- Imma try turning it off and on again (leaving the game and reopening it)
- Oh hey wait i think me accidentally blowing myself up with grenades at the start gave me the emo achievement, nice, i was gonna figure out if there was a kill bind n use that like in postal 2
- This man is too attractive for this shitty ass fuckin game why did yall do this
- OH SO OTHER PEOPLE GET CENSOR BARS BUT DUDE DOESN'T WHAT THE FUCK MAN?
- "If chronic was legalized this sorta *coughing* *strained* wouldnt happenhh"
- Died a second time, please dont break again
- So how am i supposed to keep collectin cats when im bein hunted down?
- HE SAID THE U CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER THING AAA
- Okay i think i got a strat, however the lag is insane and i think the graphics are too high or somethin
- And the screen is struggling to figure out the settings oh there we go, unfortunately i might have to set it back to defaults
- Wait hold on now
- DUDE SHUT UP ABOUT SWEET HEALTH STUFF WE AINT GOT ANY
- YOU CAN BISECT PEOPLE WITH MACHETES
- Oh boy gotta redo all that progress
- Hes so fuckin sarcastic during the interview sections
- Okay i looted a lil bit before hand this time, found me a nail bat
- OH IM SORRY DUDE THESE GAME MECHANICS SUCK DONT BLAME ME
- he dies so gracefully, not even any blood on him despite that there literally was blood on him
- The cats are cute at least
- So i hate this game and how shit it runs
- Dude as much as i would love to use cheat codes, i dont know of any nor do i know how any of that shit works, blame your own game for havin shitty mechanics
- HEY GUESS WHAT, STOP THINKIN ABOUT THE PAST AND HOW SAFE YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE ABLE TO SMOKE CHRONIC, YOU ARE BEIN HUNTED DOWN BY HOMICIDAL FAST FOOD WORKERS CAUSE YOU'RE PICKIN UP SYPHILITIC CATS THAT THEY CALLED DIBS ON FOR SOME REASON, BITCH WE DONT EVEN HAVE HEATH PIPES OR NOTHIN
- Nice timing and placement on that forehead shot, killed me instantly
- HEY HE CAN STILL CHOKE ON HIS PISS THATS COOL
- he dies in nearly the same position everytime theres no pizzazz to it man
- This game is making me mad and sweaty i hate it
- I have spent at least an hour on this stupid fuckin cat mission
- ARE THEY FUCKING DONE ARE THEY GONE THEY KEPT FUCKIN COMIN
- The houses are safety though so thats good
- I CANNOT GRAB CATS IN THESE CONDITIONS MAN
- Okay wait, you're tellin me, that i need to grab 15 fuckin cats for this shit to be over, what the fuck
- YEAH GAME THIS IS A SHITTY FUCKIN JOB
- I love that dude has to take a breather if you run around for a bit, look at him fuckin takin full body huffs
- My right hand is legit going numb from this, thanks Akella /sarc
- Yewh so uh, instead of grabbin cats like the mission wants me to do, I've been playin cod in postal 3 because i do not feel okay just goin out CAUSE THEY KEEP FUCKING COMING
- FINALLY OVER WITH THAT SHIT
- This is incorrect, Vince would never talk to P3
- Dude in the security fit is nice
- YEHA I KNEW IT HE WASNT LOOKIN AT JENS FACE EITHER, THE QUICK FUCKIN LOOK UP, AND HIS QUICK FUVKIN "Got it" WHEN JEN TELLS HIM TO USE THE TASER
- At least Jen was helpin out, ron didnt do shit
- DUDE, SHE DOES HER WHOLE END SECTION SPEECH OR WHATEVER, WALKS OFF AFTER SAYIN "Later Dude" AND HE JUST GOES "... She wants me B)"
- Okay cool what the fuck do i do, all the ecotologists on the first floor are dead why is the game not advancing
- Did a civilian just yell "vegan fucktard"?
- WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO BRO
- Oh it bugged cause i used a taser
- BADGER TIME
- Hey I think the music is bugged
- Oh hey apparently dudes attention span and depleted by meth and somethin else I couldn't hear CAUSE THE MUSIC IS BUGGED AND THE CAPTIONS DONT WORK
- Oh wait, the segways, right, i forgot that was a thing, im still on a loading screen btw, whole fuckin minute n a half of a loading screen cause my laptop does not like this game
- Heh yeah, "volunteers" totally
- I like how he says buttsauce in the same way characters from SpongeBob would say barnacles
- IS THAT DUKE NUKEM???
- Im sorry what why does the chief have a "umh.. Special place in the basement"
- THE MACHINE GUN ISNT A GUN ITS A DEATH RAY
- Okay im fine with dyin there that was alot i nees a break
- Yknow what when I start playin, imma see if i can go back to the path option section so i can see that cutscene and figure out what the fuck Krotchy n Larry were sayin CAUSE THE MUSIC FROM THE MISSION SHIT FUCKIN BUGGED
- Somethin tells me i cant
- Wait maybe
- NO I DONT WANNA JOIN THE ECO FUCKERS
- WAIT HOLD IT THERES AN OPTION TO KILL BOTH? JUST CAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY BEHEADED A CIVILIAN?? No thanks that sounds stressful im good
- Okay so audios fucked imma restart everything, i can tell its fucked cause i can barely hear Dude's voicelines
- Im sorry is the music volume in the options window just useless and everythings coded onto the game volume?
- Hold on i just realized, when you start the ecotologists vs cops section, one of the cops refers to dude as "shades"
- OKAY YES KROTCHY N LARRY
- Oh, meth and porn, yeah that tracks for p3
- "Tip: You cannot use the human shield move while on the good path"
- "I wonder how much id get for his remains on ebay"
- OH BTW YOU CANT USE THE HUMAN SHIELD TACTIC BUT THEY CAN
- He arrests someone and goes "my bad"
- Hey so can't proceed with thr thing the doors bugged
- Hey so my laptop really doesnt like the infirmary section, or this game
- Okay so im callin it, the lt has some weird drug sex dungeon in the basement
- "Yo, trenchcoat, we could use some help" lt at dude
- Yeah so my laptop really hates this
- ANOTHER DOOR IS BUGGED
- Im done i cant right now
- I LOADED THE GAME UP BACK AT THE LEARNING TO ARREST PEOPLE SECTION AND I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD THE PISTOL SELECTED SO I ACCIDENTALLY SHOT A GUY
- Yea so if the chief dies (he ran into a molotov fire btw) Dude goes "oops botched that one.. I wonder how much i could get for his remains on ebay?"
- HE GOT HIT WITH A MOLOTOV AGAIN
- Wait i wonder if the chief calls my attention even though im dead? I dont think so i think he straight up fuckin left after i died bein his meat shield, AGAIN
- DOOR BUGGED
- WHY CAN THE HOBO HAVE THE GRENADES BUT I CAN'T??
- Also so while Dude cant jump, he can vault, but he can also stand on tables because of that, so imagine this 6'8 man in a trenchcoat and shades, just standin on a table
- The chief caught on fire again of course
- HEY YOU CANT CALL ME A DUMBASS FOR HIM GETTIN HIT WITH A MOLOTOV
- I hate this guy i hate his voice he and his employees get in my line of fire and i get blamed for it just to get to his weird sex dungeon or whatever the fuck it is i think it was somethin with a sex slave that grew up or something? Idfk the plot is a mess this game is a mess i hate this game
- And i blew up a cops head, nice
- I KNEW IT WAS A SEX DUNGEON
- DONT TELL ME HE WANTED TO FUCK DUDE AS A REWARD FOR HIM BEIN GOOD AT BEIN A COP IN TRAINING
- AT LEAST I GOT THAT FUCKIN MISSION OVER WITH THAT WAS VILE
- Kinda sad i didnt get a screenshot of dude lookin shocked
- Wait imma torture myself with that again hold on
- ALSO MOVIE DUDE ON THE LOADING SCREEN (I know it's probably supposed to be p3 idgaf that looks like movie dude)
- I hate how happy he sounds to be a cop BUT HE SAID THE THING THE "I Am the Lawh heheh"
- OH WAIT I HAD SAVED AT A PART WHERE WE STOPPED NEEDIN TO MOW DOWN ARMED HOBOS THANK FUCK
- Btw why the fuck was this imperative, why did we Need to get the chief safely down to the basement just for him to fuck dude as a "good job" for bein a cop in training WAIT IS THAT THE INITIATION PROCESS??
- I really wanna kick the hell outta the chief him bein like "come on this way" makes me irrationally mad
- I love dudes intense swayback posture
- Idgaf i saved at a good spot i will get that screenshot
- Ohhh also its specifically the Hobo sex dungeon, its got pics of the hobo models, and hes got a specific one but that ones in Mexico probably doin better than he was in catharsis cause i feel like thats a hostage situation
- WAIT I GOT IT HE LOOKS SO FUCKIN DISTRAUGHT AND I GOT A BROKEN P3 SCREENSHOT AS A BONUS WHY
- Dude, please dont tell me he used your praise kink as a way to convince you to let him fuck you as a "welcome", this feels like some south park shit
- WAIT WHEN I LET THE NEW SECTION LOAD IN HE WAS STANDIN FUCKIN WEIRD EUGGH Anyway at least he finally got that uniform, all he had to do was be manipulated into sex by gettin his ego stroked
- Wait why do we gotta do so much
- DUDE WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY EMERGENS HOLE
- WHY IS A MISSION SPECIFICALLY "Patrol around the gay bar" WHAT FUCKED CORRUPT SHIT IS THIS MAN
- A woman keeps yelling and screaming i hate this
- "*Sees a man public urinating* 🫵 Hey Im the only one that gets to do that >B("
- Hold on let me consult the arsenal first for my taser
- THERES TOO MANY FUCKIN SOUNDS, WHERE IS ANYTHING THERES NO MAP GIVE ME BACK MY JANKY POSTAL 2 MAP
- The hell is this roblox ass music
- Oh man Dude was right, it is like breakin up a fight between some highschoolers
- WHAT THE FUVK IS TABLIGANNANS WHATEVER THE FUCK WHERE IS THAT BRO
- Ha, "Largebucks" nice
- A guy in the talibannigans parkin lot is bein up a car, and Dude does the dad stance and goes ".. Im bettin that guy isnt a professional detailer.."
- Oh wait the mission names are vague until you arrest the people, got it
- Hey wheres a park i never fuckin saw one
- Mighta fucked up the shop bein robbed one, tased a guy a little too hard and i cant arrest him now
- In my defense, he shot me, also i cut him with a machete
- Cat has been stored in the trenchcoat
- Why is there more screaming
- Man this is a lame ass park
- Bro terrorists are blowin people and cars up and the mission is "check their green cards, With extreme prejudice"
- Theres still blood on my face from gettin shot by that robber
- Oh great we gotta save uwe boll
- Bro i feel like Dude has a massive praise kink with all the "good job" screens
- Dude you're tellin me a bunch of angry nerds with nightsticks and guns are tryin to kill me and Uwe Boll, and i cant kill em? The fuck is that shit man?
- HE KEEPS DYING CAUSE I CANT KILL THEM THEY KEEP COMING BACK AND SWARMING ME SO I CANT GET TO HIM
- Me and my laptop are overstimulated
- I cant even find any guides or walkthroughs om this shit just someone sayin kill the nerds than stun them or kill uwe boll. I TRIED VIOLENCE THAT RUINS THE GOOD BOY PATH I DONT WANNA RUIN THAT
- Everytime i think im done with a bullshit mission i come across one that makes me hate the game even more
- Gonna t r y to get through this stupid fuckin mission and if i cant im sayin fuck it, and downloadin some mods and restarting everything
- Another weird thing about this game, the achievements dont fuckin work? Like I'll get the achievement, itll show me it in the game, but it still wont be unlocked, i had to get the danny Trejo achievement twice before it unlocked for me, and the neurosurgeon achievement, got that bitch twice and it still hasnt unlocked
- Imma try killin the nerds and uwe boll and see if that works and/or fucks with my path
- The title screen music is stuck in my head
- Killing the nerds ruins the path
- THIS MISISON FUCKIN SUCKS MAN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
- I keep forgetting the mission log gives me a quota before the mission is over
- WHY DID I DID FASTER THAN LAST TIME
- CANT USE GASOLINE THAT MECHANIC WORKS LIKE SHIT
- MOLOTOVS DEPLETED THE GOOD BOY METER
- TASER CANT WORK CAUSE I HAVE SHIT AIM AND NERDS KEEP CROWDING ME
- Oh wait i was gonna try usin a cat
- CATS DID NOTHING THEY JUST TORNADOES
- No the cats dont do a damn thing but decapitate one person and freeze
- FUCKING DID IT LOST MY NAILBAT THOUGH WHY IS THIS NOT CHANGING
- THIS STUPID FUCKIN HAPPY MUSIC
- Wait why is it saying i need one more
- I see, the last one broke
- Oh fuck he really broke
- WHY WAS THERE A PORTAL COMPANION CUBE IN THE BUSHES
- Also all that, just for uwe to go "hey dumbass you broke the camera im gonna fight you *yap yap yap*" we dont actually fight him rn though
- STOP WITU THE NERDS BRO
- One of em called the chief a noob
- WHY ARE WE FIGHTING BOTH
- THE POSTAL BABES??? AND JENNIFER WALCOTT???
- Of course Dude wants to go in after Jennifer decided to do her vigilante shit
- "You sure you still wanna go in hero boy?" "*Nodding* Yes I Do"
- And i died almost instantly
- Well obviously jens gotta live, who else is gonna give Dude the motivation through horny thoughts
- Bro the stock source sound effects the metal clank sound
- Oh fuck it sounds like objects are no clipping
- BITCH YOU'RE DEAD SERGEY DYING ISNT YOUR FAULT YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD
- This death pose, his neck looks fuckin broken
- Oh yeah i forgot there's a take cover mechanic
- YOU CAN STILL DO SHIT WHEN TAKING COVER I DIDNT KNOW THAT
- DAMMIT I WAS GONNA DITCH EM AND LOOT THE BATHROOM BUT THE BATHROOMS CLOSED FUCK
- WHY IS THE BLONDE LADY SHOOTING ME WHAT THE FUCK IF I SHOT YOU IM SORRY BUT YOU PROBABLY GOT IN MY LINE OF FIRE WHAT THE HELL MAN
- Oh great her necks broke
- OBVIOUSLY I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF ALSO YOU'RE SHOOTING AT THE WRONG FUCKER MAAM
- I think everyones gangin up on me whats happening
- Oh wait she fixed herself i guess??
- JEN FUCKING HELP ME THEY FOLLOWED ME TO THE FRONT AND KILLED ME
- Did i fuckin see cum on the floor?
- what do you mean dude duck walks when taking cover behind counters n shit, WHAT DO MEAN HES ABLE TO DUCK WALK
- He has a major crush on "Ms" Walcott
- "*Keeps smiling and nodding while shes talkin to him* *waves* See ya later Miss Walcott BD.. Man, shes Awesome B)"
- Oh my fuck what fuckin loaded in why are you standin like that i dont like that uniform THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHEN HES GOT SWAYBACK POSTURE IT LOOKS LIKE HES GOT SCOLIOSIS
- Okay im gonna stop here and restart everything cause i really wanna record this, it doesnt like the screenshots, and screenshots dont do how down bad he is justice, holy fuck dude
