#my existence is wrong

[basically-queenberyl]

Error 404

The logical part of my mind is telling me I need to move on and that it’s ok, and I can take my time. But the broken part of my subconscious is telling me I deserve to suffer. Because:

Rejection = Evidence that I did something wrong = Bad person (or I’m wrong as a person)

and

He doesn’t like me -> Bad person -> Needs to suffer -> Suffering is over when wrong is corrected

Thanks, childhood.

[menta1-illness]

everything i say feels wrong

[blorborealm]

Any decision I make is wrong anyway so why does it matter

[drkn3]

i feel wrong

[likable-loser]

Me: I think I'll go back to bed and sleep late.

Brain: No that's wrong.

Me: Well then I guess I'll get up.

Brain: No that's wrong too.

Me: I'll go downstairs.

Brain: Wrong.

Me: Well then I'll stay here.

Brain: Also wrong.

Me: I should clean my room.

Brain: That doesn't feel right.

Me: I should work out.

Brain: That feels wrong as well.

Me: Well then maybe I'll read.

Brain: No.

Me: Draw?

Brain: I don't think so.

Me: Maybe I'll just chill and relax then.

Brain: But you can't.

Me: Okay, maybe..

Brain: No that doesn't feel right either.

Brain: Also why have you done nothing today you lazy shit?

And I'm not talking and "ugh I can't figure out what to do, nothing seems right but I don't want to do nothing" feeling. I'm talking a slight physical feeling of fear at the thought of doing both anything and nothing for absolutely no reason.