Don't takes this as an insult, but in my opinion u write a lot a chapter about things that can be described in one. In this way the story start to be a bit repetitive. For example u spend three chapters by saying the reaction of the black to the proposal and i feel bored by reading this even if i loved the plot of the story sm. It would be wonderful if the chapters were more dynamic and faster because in this way they risk getting boring.
Ofc this is not an insult, just a little advice by a reader of ur story
No. Ya cunt
Lmao









