life is mundane, mediocre, and meh | 20240824
when i was in college, my life was an untapped lake full of potential. i could see branches extending towards various plausible careers, turning into various possible lives. i was pleased at myself for putting myself in a position that granted me the pleasant access to view what my life could be.
and now as i work a grinding corporate job day by day, scanning excel by excel and pouring tears over power-point, i don't know where i am. my life it seemed, stopped treading the sandy dunes of some lost egyptian tomb, or becoming a lost author of a book that could change the world; my life no longer sought social justice for all by being a diplomat in the UN, nor did it vie to become a brilliant philosopher damning the world and cursing it to oblivion.
not everyone lives a great and glorious life, but what if i was supposed to, and i, just couldn't?
my life starts and ends at my desk on good days and my bed on bad days, barely ebbing with life at the presence of good food, good company and heated political debates. i dread the fact that my next several decades are going to be in the same slow monotonous ebb, barely pulsing, and i dread that so much of what i thought was my potential, was just that - potential.