#my thought processes

[viktoriscutieee]

I love the way Viktor speaks. He is very formal and polite in his wording.

He also addresses most people using formalities like Sky for instance, he calls her “Miss Young” and he called Singed “Doctor” and for Heimerdinger uses his last name or calls him “Professor” instead. He even when he first introduced himself to Jayce used formalities calling himself “assistant to the Dean of the academy” instead of his real name.

I like to think that is how he addresses everyone. The only exception being Jayce.

[thebestworstidea]

brain: Post?

me: Why?

Brain: attention!

Me: I admire your honesty.

brain: also schedule.

me: okay, why no post?

Brain: chapter short. won’t get attention anyway.

me: But the chapter is at a good break point. we can’t garentee it’ll have that clean a scene break later.

brain: but short.

me: okay, let’s have this conversation about three dozen times and see if the outcome changes.

Brain: I admire your honesty.

[clarespace]

ya know what hurts me? thinking that dele and eric are really soft behind the scenes. like, they’re all banter and acting put upon by the other’s presence and they never compliment each other to their faces (seriously, do you hear me screaming?) but really, when eric was sad in that gogglebox ep, dele tenderly patted and rubbed eric’s head. dele got him bowls of fruits. fruits! how soft is that? he spent the entire time almost leaning against eric, probably waiting for when he can actually curl up into eric’s side.

and eric’s just paying attention to the grapes lmao but seriously he also does this intimate thing of placing his hand on dele’s calf and doesn’t let go (in the video i saw anyway) just leaves his hand there and dele does not even react, like he’s used to it.

and doing the washing up together? probably? someone’s gotta wash up those used mugs and bowls and binned the stems and leaves!

and they made tea. the british make a lot of tea but it’s so domestic that eric (probably) made tea for them both.

like they verbally abuse each other with such loving eyes and soft smiles and like, dele probably jumps on eric all the time and demands to be carried and rubs his face into eric’s back. also holding hands?? towing each other by the hands???? just like walking about with one of them having their arms around the other all nonchalant like.

they’re so soft they bring each other’s stuff like maybe their shoes when they go to training cause he’s whipped af.

and like they look at each other and get distracted and giggle and smile and make everyone the third wheel and probably talk about each other all the bloody time until one of their teammates tells them to shut the fuck up for the love of god!

and they probably also drive each other around and go on holidays and take loads of photos and videos and netflix and chill and can you imagine all of that softness behind the sce -

whaddya mean those happened????

(cr to gif owners)

[viktoriscutieee]

I like how in the Astral Plane Viktor looked healthier and all but still didn’t look exactly how he did when he was at his healthiest when he was younger. He looks older still, his eye bags, wrinkles, his hair even, he looks like he would be still in his late 30s to early 20s, how he would look had he been heathy and not dying after the time-skip.

(Also to mention in both pictures he is looking at Jayce, with that similar expression even years apart.)

[viktoriscutieee]

I wonder if Viktor realizes he has a habit of twirling and messing with his hair when he is doing it. Like how people develop small habits and never really notice unless someone points it out for them.

But whether he subconsciously twirls his hair, or not. Jayce would notice. Would keep track of all the small things that Viktor does. How he taps his cane/crutch when he’s nervous. Or how he picks at his fingernails. His little “ehh” thing he does when he speaks sometimes. When he is speaking he sometimes repeats the same word. Just small things like that he makes mental notes in the back of his head. Has a list of every single mole he has everywhere he can see. He would probably point out a mole Viktor didn’t even know he had.

[viktoriscutieee]

Viktor at Jayce’s apartment and Viktor brings up the rock collection Jayce has and that gets him talking very enthusiastically about all sorts of rocks and crystals and what he knows of them. Everything.

And Viktor listens very intently and asks questions about what Jayce is telling him. Something inside him melts seeing Jayce be like this, it’s not an unfamiliar feeling, he has seen Jayce similarly when talking about their endless theories and ideas for Hextech.

It makes Jayce look younger, he has that boyish smile and charm, his tooth gap showing as he talks. The clear as day and excitement in his voice.

Viktor feels himself falling deeper, and deeper in love with this man as the days pass. He knows he shouldn’t, that it’s foolish even. To fall in love with a man who he knows wouldn’t want him back. It’s a trap, one that he cannot help but fall into. He would do anything for Jayce if he asked him to, it scares him honestly. But for now he will just enjoy listening and talking to Jayce.

[viktoriscutieee]

The fact that Jayce and Viktor kind of rewrote their whole relationship in every single possibility. Maybe Hextech was never meant to be, maybe they weren’t supposed to meet that day. Maybe they were never meant to be partners. But they did.

And they could never let the other go. Jayce will always save Viktor even at the cost of the rest of the world. Viktor will keep finding Jayce and giving him the rune and that’ll set everything in place. And whether that timeline fails or not they will never leave each other. In every possible and timeline it is always them. It wasn’t fate or destiny that caused this to happen, it was the fact neither could live without the other.

[viktoriscutieee]

Jayce bruising Viktor in various places by accident(or on purpose) because of his strength and how easily Viktor bruises.

The first time it happens was when they were in the lab and(for some reason) Jayce grabbed Viktor’s waist, his grip was strong and Viktor knew that Jayce definitely left a mark.

Viktor afterwards had gone to the bathroom to see the damage that was done. He put his cane against the sink and slowly started to lift his shirt up. A purple-red color was blooming on his skin and it was very clearly two hand prints wrapped around his waist(Jayce’s hands wrap fully around too, I might add).

Viktor’s body immediately heats up and he is so flushed, his face radiating a tomato red all the way down to his chest. He knew there would be a mark left but he didn’t think it’d be that prominent. He touches one of the bruises and then pokes harder at it until he feels the pain. He does it again, and again until he realizes what he is doing and stops with guilt boiling in his stomach.

What’s worse is he wants Jayce’s marks on him. He wants to be treated roughly, manhandled. He wants to relinquish control, to have Jayce someone else decide for him. He wants that pain from these marks, he wants more of it.

And he feels disgusted at himself for wanting it so much. He shouldn’t want this especially not from Jayce. It’s unprofessional, it’s silly even, they aren’t together. He knows all of this but he can’t help the fact he still wants, no, needs this.

He can’t dwell on this now, now he needs to leave and get back to the lab with Jayce and forget all of this and try to stop thinking this way. And so, he hastily tucks back in his shirt, grabs his cane, and leaves the bathroom.