We always start our meal time with, "What was the best and worst part of your day?" I love this simple statement because it gives me insight into what is going on in my kids’ precious lives, both good and bad. Being they are children of divorce with a very involved father, I only get them a little more than half the time, so I take full advantage! They pretend to hate me for this, but I think they secretly love it.
The things I find out are fantastic, sad, heartwarming, funny, and scary. There are things I would rather un-hear like how one kid they know is trying to see how long he can go without showering or how they egged a neighbor's house and didn't get caught (uh that's not okay buddy). But for the most part, I have learned great things, important things about their loves, anxieties, accomplishments, and general life.
Here and there we will throw in a random question or a would you rather. The other night I asked, "If all food had the same nutritional value, and you automatically get water and you had to choose one food and one drink for the rest of your life, what would you pick?" Not so easy people! Being the food/alcohol addict that I am, it took me a little longer than my kids to answer.
Luca:
Pizza. I think he already lives on this. Is that bad? And Coke. I could have bet my house on this one. Just what the world needs 12 year-olds running around on caffeine sugar highs and apparently egging houses…
Colton:
Butterfingers. Gross. And Pina Colada. Totally understand and okay with that one.
Devon:
Kiwi. Seriously? Weirdo health- nut. Of ALL the food in the world, you pick Kiwi? And black coffee. I don't drink coffee but I am thankful that it exists to make people like my daughter and sister happy in the morning.
Me:
Red wine. This was a no-brainer. If you have kids, this needs no explanation. The possibilities are endless. And after careful thought - Raisinets!! Part fruit, part dessert = total heaven. To me, there is no better food and I can have 9,000 a day and its the same as eating broccoli?? Duh. I did almost pick pizza too but then realized I am hormonal half the month and need chocolate.
The point of all this is -conversation. Just have conversation. Open, honest, conversation at dinner, in the car, anywhere they feel safe. There is no better thing. Serious or fun, it doesn't matter. They learn and I learn so much. Sometimes the worst part of their day is the food I've made and that's okay, I'll take it! The beauty is that they get to hear my goods and bads too.