"I have an announcement," Long Xiaojiao says, a far too serious expression on her face as she dangles half of herself off the couch. Qi Xiaotian knows her better, though; he knows what that look means.
The look of all seriousness, and at the same time, all the bullshit possible, and it's specifically for one thing. He dreads that look, just like how he dreads Pigsy threatening to get the ridiculous delivery machine that could break down several times in a row. Qi Xiaotian would know; he's worked part-time jobs at other restaurants before, and they're terrible.
The look on Long Xiaojiao's face is just as bad, just as terrible, and he doesn't want to stay any longer now.
"This," Red Son grouses, gaze flickering up from the poor, half torn machine and Qi Xiaotian prays for his quick death, "better be good."
"Oh, I promise it's good." Long Xiaojiao flashes Red Son a charming smirk that has him flushing bright red. Qi Xiaotian silently approves. "It's really good."
And that is his cue to leave. "So, uh, I gotta go," Qi Xiaotian says brightly, and two heads swivel to stare at him with one look of surprise and one look of suspicion. He lets out a laugh of nervousness, takes a slow step back towards the door. "Nice seeing you all, but I think Pigsy's got some orders for me to deliver–"
The look on Long Xiaojiao's face is priceless. Red Son, on the other hand, looks less impressed.
"Your boss," Red Son drawls after a moment of awkward silence, stretching the word out, "directly called my phone number to tell me that you were to take the night off before some sort of enemy appears again. I would appreciate it greatly if your guardian wouldn't burst open my eardrums again."
The one time Pigsy had to destroy his only way out of this. Qi Xiaotian prays to the gods that he gets out of this alive once again.
Long Xiaojiao's face smooths out into a beaming smile, as he sits down again, this time next to the wall. "That's great!" she cheers, and her smile nearly makes him want to stay. Nearly. "Now I can tell you my announcement!"
"Dragon girl, just please get on with it. I don't have all day." Red Son lifts a calloused hand to drag through his hair. Qi Xiaotian tries very hard to ignore the black soot smudged along Red Son's fingers. It's not that much better when Long Xiaojiao lets out a soft laugh and her gaze softens.
"It won't take long," Long Xiaojiao assures him, clears her throat next and abruptly lifts up from her dangling. Qi Xiaotian slowly starts a chant inside his head for a diversion. "Now, my announcement! I have fantastic news to share with you all!"
Someone attack, someone attack, someone attack–
There is no escape from this nightmare, it seems. Qi Xiaotian thuds his head against the wall and closes his eyes to hear the inevitable doom.
"A new series of Chockers!"
"What are Chockers?" Red Son asks, like the clueless fool he is. The poor, poor fool. He has no idea what's coming next.
Long Xiaojiao's smile turns predatory. "Let me show you the ads."
Qi Xiaotian regrets ever coming to hang out with his friends on this day.
NOOOOO AJHAAHHAHAHAHSHSHA YOU ACTUALLY DID IT- OH GOSH NO- LMAOOOO
I'M CRYING- HELP 😭 IT WAS JUST A TYPO MYA, MY BRAIN WAS JUST SHORT-CIRCUITED, WHY/lh