Sep 15, 2020
i haven’t lost the will...just lost the hope...
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i haven’t lost the will...just lost the hope...
I want to die, but I love my parents too much to put them through anything like that. I feel worthless, and completely alone. I’ve officially been left by everyone in my life and I have no one but my parents. I cry constantly, and haven’t eaten in days.. I just feel myself getting weaker. I think my body isn’t willing to fight when I don’t want to live...
I have surgeries and testing coming up and no one to comfort me through it. Honestly this quarantine has been the worst thing in the world...
Im scared I’m just gonna slip back into my old life style, searching for anything to give me worth... my confidence is gone, my self love is gone... I just wish I could die...
I’m in so much silent agony in all honesty... I’m putting on the strongest bravest face through everything, but I can just feel everything building up in me and I’m scared of what is going to happen. I’m scared of my bi-polar depression and BPD. I’m scared of the breakdown I can feel happening and I just wish I had him to help me....
crying my eyes out because i wanted to award myself with a nintendo switch and animal crossing for being so strong through everything that i’ve been going through and dealing with,
and guess what, on top of this being ruined
i’m not even receiving a stimulus check for help. so my dream of a nintendo switch is gone. and i can’t buy my meds. or pay for my bills. i have no idea what im gonna do or how i’m gonna survive... i have zero income right now
I’ve been in darkness before, but this is cold, and empty, and numb
i’m so tired of being human
drunk again hi hello if my typing messy
i jus kno i’m gonna get hurt again i just should isolate myself. i don’t deserve to be in anyone’s life. o should just o back to where i was. jus go back to what i was doing. just be alone forever. i already made my commitment and i just don’t move from those. if i can’t finish that commitment then i jus deserve to be alone i nvr want anyone else.
Sending you love 💖💖💖
Thank you so much xXx