The letter below was written an hour before I had to leave my apartment to attend my fathers viewing. I tucked this letter in his jacket pocket and he was buried with it. I tried to revise the letter, but every time I reread it I just started to cry. It isn’t perfect, but I don't care. I wasn’t even thinking clearly when this letter was composed, so please bare with me here.
A week ago today I, alongside your family and dear friends were all there by your side as you lived your last few moments. Ever since the moment that I felt your last heart beat and witnessed you take your last breath, emptiness has taken over my life that will no longer be refilled. I knew from the moment that I lost you I wanted to write you a letter, but I procrastinated it due to the fact that I couldn’t find the words I wanted to express. Now, that I am sitting here writing you this letter, I have quickly realized that one page is not enough space to express everything I want to share with you.
As far back as I can remember, you always did your best to provide for our family with everything we ever needed or wanted. I will always admire you for your work ethic, and the drive you always had to keep going forward. I do not recall a moment when something occurred that would have prevented you to get up early in the morning to attend work everyday. Nothing seemed to ever be an obstacle for you, from bad weather, a simple illness such as the flu, or two shoulder surgeries. Your strength has always amazed and continued to amaze me as we stood by your side for your last few days at St. Joseph’s Hospital. I witnessed you fight so hard, not just for your family, but also for yourself. I am so proud of you dad, I am so proud that even at your weakest moment you never gave up on us, and that you gave it all that you could.
I know I am not alone when it comes to admiring how kind hearted you were. You expressed this characteristic not only through out our household, but to extended family, friends, and neighbors as well. You were always there to offer a helping hand and never turned anyone down when they reached out to you for help. Through these acts of kindness, you never expected anything back in return. The only gratification you would seek is to help people out when they were in need, regardless of how big or small the favor was that they asked of you.
Another characteristic that I admired most about you dad was the fact that you were fearless. No matter who or what you were face to face with, the expression of fear was never found on your face or in your behavior. Regardless to how tough of an exterior you tried to display, being your daughter I had advantage to see your soft interior. I will never forget the moments when I cried in your arms due to heartache or over amount of stress from life. You did whatever you could to try to take my pain away, and you gave me strength when the moments occurred when I felt like giving up.
During your last few days, I found myself wondering how I am going to keep moving forward if I lost you. You and mom made me whole, and I just didn’t know what I would do without one of my halves being there. Now that you are gone, moving forward without you physically being there for me everyday is going to be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Even though you are no longer here physically, I will keep you in my heart and on my mind for forever. I hope I continue to make you proud as you watch over me as I continue this journey of life. I also promise to try my hardest not to disappoint you.
I will carry you with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life. I know you will be there at future job promotions and graduation cheering me on, you will be standing right beside me on my wedding day as I walk down the aisle, and you will be with me when I begin to start a family of my own.
I just want you to know that you are being missed terribly dad, and saying that we are sad that we were taken away from us so soon is an understatement. But, the distance is just temporary, and even that will not keep us apart. Until we meet again dad, just know that we love you, and we are beyond thankful and honored to have had you as a father, husband, son, brother, uncle, and friend.
