#mymindcabin

[lavendergreen]

this isn't mymindcabin but the metaphor will be. im still thinking abt the stream when etho says to bdubs' audience specifically, i don't know how he does all his resource gathering, i've never figured it out. and bdubs is shocked & shocked even more when etho says he only knows what bdubs puts in his videos. this is mid season 10 and this fixation of etho's has been going on (visibly) since at least season 9; there is no god damn reason he couldn't ask bdubs. but one must infer that etho is really dedicated to reverse-engineering the gaps in bdubs knowledge he has & doing blind experiments/quizzes on him until that hole is filled. out of... well i shan't speculate. but it's funny that he refuses to pry into certain aspects of bdubs' life/habits even just about off-camry gameplay styles, when bdubs also navigates the holes around what he can ask about etho's life by looking at the little bit of visible patterns and having full confidence in a solid, coherent rest-of-etho that he doesn't need to see to understand enough.

[lavendergreen]

yep that's right i'm always thinking about it

[lavendergreen]

30s dyke trying to get better at writing porn; i repurposed my general nsfw account for mostly fandom-related posting with sides of occasional erotica studies, (nude) selfies, and miscellaneous thoughts that don't have another home.

my writing (also by collection here):

something blue, G, rpf; a post-secret life 'boyfriend' joke discussion.

know me better, 12k, E, rpf; bdubs makes some invitations, and etho accepts. (an adaptation of these posts.)

read your mind, 3.5k, E, rpf; etho pov companion to know me better.

second skin, 2k, T, rpf; and its mature etho pov companion reasonable doubt, 4k.

nsfw wips: nether hypnosis, a pain that i'm used to, dollworld (maybe) other wips: muncle au, dark souls 4, strange currencies 2, empire line

[lavendergreen]

ok if we engage with the "haunted by a computer simulation of a person drawn from your brain who most represents repressed homosexuality (yours & theirs)" portion of the mind cabin expanded universe the funniest options for etho include:

pause. the specter of people believing he's bi + a long-ago relationship that is not currently accessible due to distance. it's funny in a straightforward way.

sethbling. this would make bdubs freak the fuck out. they would be totally unable to talk about it at all without getting derailed by how bad bdubs does Not Get Why This Guy. unfortunately lacks much else compelling though.

tango. this is actually who etho tries to force the ship to simulate - someone comforting to talk to! please! but this is not allowed. sometimes it could take his form but not for long. doc is also not an option for similar reasons + he's doing other ship stuff.

the winner though? pearl. she's new in s8 so we get that "???" reaction at first from etho like why this person. he later develops a soft spot for her so it foreshadows that. she has the whole alien thing + dl alienation from all other people going on after too so it's extra *.*.-aligned. and then we can build up a background gempearl torment. only a shadow bc ofc the unsettling thing is it's not really pearl, just etho's impression.

[lavendergreen]

the horrible awful no good realization that you can straight up. you could straight up turn the s8 bullshit into. you can put them on destiny. by you i mean me and specifically only me in my secret backstory that i refuse to write for real because it would be bad & derivative in the worst way but if i in my heart chose to believe. that they. and the ship. and maybe somewhere in there is where it goes wrong. and bdubs has got like a -- actually the bdubs-ship torment nexus manifestation is like. bad enough if it's just bdubs-but-more. composite into solo bdubs. but in s9 he's - not there. all the way. it would be really funny if the dr j/*.*. analogue was like. pause. can you even imagine. but the other option is like. well if we go someone bdubs does NOT get or like very much + a ghost is thing that won't stop happening the funniest option is sethbling. and that's great bc it like quadruply means i absolutely cannot write that

[lavendergreen]

conductor today looked like **** **** which is fine and good and fine because i Don't believe in omens anymore and i certainly do NOT take things to be signs. however it does have me thinking abt #themindcabin and music. i think the record player is there tucked in a corner but it comes late. probably it's got lots more buttons and dials and settings and bdubs complains he doesn't know how to use it. but sometimes when etho dreams, he'll know bdubs is actually there by the running water in the kitchen and a disc faintly playing from the other side of the cabin and bdubs staring out the window over the sink. when bdubs is not fully There and when he's across the rift sometimes etho still hears his singing, staticky & warbling like it's coming from the record player, and in the long sun god time away he goes through the motions of cooking in the kitchen while there's whistling from outside, waiting on bdubs to come complain about his chef's methods.

[lavendergreen]

thinking about:

etho asking where bdubs goes when he's not at the cabin. bdubs doesn't understand the question

it is imperative that bdubs tell etho at some point when he's most in/out of the story: sometimes i wish i'd never dreamt you. thinks that etho's another story he made up, there in the dream.

bdubs and etho in a cave that goes funny, like the stargazers infinity room of stars. bdubs spaces out, starts telling the story of the stupid rendoc spaceship plot at the end of season 8. etho says that didn't happen, i wasn't there, i came back separate - and bdubs looks past him and keeps telling the story. in your story you didn't. in someone else's.... and etho wrenches them back. torch in the dark.

[lavendergreen]

There’s an ache in his chest. “Kid, I don’t know if I can stop this,” he confesses. “I’m not even from here anymore.”

NOT GOING HOME ANYMORE DOT MP3. also that freakout cancelled on account of apparently the *.*. erasure is fully a remix thing and even though emily is the ship ghost at first they are actually friends and actually interacting on earth which means. well.